Tag: journey

Mirror, Mirror!

On June 25, 2019

I find that if I’m with someone I trust, I can talk about my fears. This has the purpose of helping me to find out why I have these fears in place, understand what is the driving factors behind them, try to resolve them, and release them so that my life is more balanced and not being driven by those fears. (You will be surprised just how a fear really integrates itself into your life 🙂 ). But in doing this you must be gentle with yourself. We have small fears and big ones. The big ones are usually what is called ‘life’ issues and should be dealt with, with someone who can really support you through such a big event. (Mind you, the universe will put exactly who you need in front of you, to go through it).

They are very life altering on going through these events and should be approached with that in mind. My biggest event that I went through was with a nice lady that I had only just met…but she was the right person for it…and she helped me to look deep inside. I ended up on the floor crying my eyes out and releasing the most incredible grief, of a loss within myself, of actually not loving myself because I didn’t believe I was worth it. (And on the surface my fear didn’t seem to have anything to do with that.) And the result is something like, suddenly finding out that your parents aren’t your real parents or without warning, your partner, the man/woman of your dreams, has just run off with someone else.

Your whole life suddenly seems like a dream, no reality, because you have believed something so solidly for so long which has now been pulled out from underneath you. You begin to try to rationalise it within yourself, but initially it is very difficult because you have nothing to now pin your life to. The foundations have been removed and your walking around in a daze. It is then that you realise that this ‘fear’ was holding up so much of your life, in such a way that it was totally a part of who you are…and it is now gone.

You are left with this emptiness. A part of who you were. But…in its place…is the realisation that it is gone…that ‘on edge’, ‘on guard’, ‘always ready’ feeling that has always been a part of who you are…is gone…left the building. Your left feeling quite tired, emotionally spent and not very focused. And a period is now needed to digest this, and balance yourself with a long period of rest, and I’m talking months, or even longer here. We’re talking about the removal of something that has been a large part of your whole life, something from childhood, and to recuperate from something like that takes quite a while.

But in that process you will come to understand what that fear did to your thinking and actions in your life. And in its place will be your decisions based on what you now want out of life. What now has meaning, and what doesn’t. Allow yourself to find ‘you’ again and begin what you will now find is the ‘truth’ of who you want to be. Find what has meaning for you…and release those things that were only propping up the fearful you. The change can be quite dramatic, and most people find they now swing a bit hard in the opposite direction to where they were, but this is usually only to find a balance from where they were previously coming from. This will gradually come back to a ‘middle ground’ for you.

These events always teach a very big lesson. And they will nearly always come back to how you feel within, about yourself. They are put in place and built on, even though we avoid them, and really integrate them into our lives. (In reality this is the Law of Attraction, we are always thinking about them, as far as the universe is concerned, THAT is the sign we hold out in front of us all the time so in the total love that the universe is, it gives us what we need, the love to go through those fears). And as such their impact is quite strong, so that when we finally go through them it is a very big event. But there is a reason for this…if you go through something and it is easy or doesn’t test you in any way…you will forget it by the next day or the one after…but if it is a serious test in who you are…it will leave an imprint…and that imprint is to realise your connection with that love within and the total self worth that you have now discovered.

It is that realisation of that love, and the realisation of that connection within, that now builds that new relationship with yourself. Which in turn is now how you relate to everyone else around you. You are no longer coming from a place of fear, an untruth, a complete projection of something you are not. You have now reached a place that is clear, and can now build from a place of truth, a projection of the real truth within, with the confidence that creates. The change is quite dramatic and you will see it in people who have changed around you because of what they have been through to come to that understanding.

If you find it hard to believe me…(and I mean this seriously), go up close to your bathroom mirror, look into your eyes and say ‘I love you with all my heart!’. You will look or swing away, laugh or even just pull a face. Even not be able to do it at all…especially if someone else is around.

And that says it all. The day you can do that, and believe it, is the day that all your fears have been dealt with and you are now free, and understand what unconditional love truly is within.

May you find that place within, and be the beautiful being you are, for all the world to see.

But most of all…let it be for you! ❤️

Namaste

My New home!

By Mark Lanesbury

On June 5, 2019

In The Journey

Ok, this is my first post at my new blog address. Welcome to all that have followed me over, and to those that have just popped in 💜🙏

It is a little clean over here as I was unable to transfer the ‘likes’ , ‘like’ counts on comments and ‘followers’ for some reason. But I was happy to at least get all of your comments on the posts. And I’m still trying to get all of the heart emoji’s to work, which are still coming out as <3 (short code) everywhere. I’ve gone into the settings and ticked to convert the short code into graphics but it refuses to do the heart. I’ve now loaded a plugin for the emoji’s so I will at least be able to add to future posts etc. Maybe I have to look into my own heart a little deeper to express it more clearly ❤

And I pray fervently that this post does not end up in some place ‘out there’ ( unless my higher self wishes to have a peek ) 😀

My old blog site was wobbling quite a bit, to the point that I couldn’t answer a comment, like anything or even sing from my mountain top.

Please let me know if anything isn’t working as I’m still getting used to this setup.

May this journey be with much love, happiness and a ‘like’ click that works 💜

Why Do We Climb Mountains?

By Mark Lanesbury

On April 13, 2019

In The Journey

To understand our lives. It is one of the most simple and exquisitely beautiful things we will ever touch on our journey. When achieved we will stand in amazement as its meaning washes over us and the bars of our self built cages will break and set us free.

All of life is a cycle, whether it be our first time at something and the nervousness and fear of facing up to it, to our very laid back approach because we have now faced those things and now understand them because of those experiences, slowly building a confidence each time they are faced.

First time at a sport, driving a car, climbing mountains, singing (ok, it never was my forte 😀 ), being a Mother or Father, and on and on with those many, many things that we face through life to eventually be better, more understanding and even a pride at achieving those many things.

And life is that very thing, to dream, to attempt, experience and achieve so many parts that are of this world. And even some of these things will be a bit rough around the edges, like my singing, because it will not be our forte, but we will have attempted it in their doing. And as each and every bit is added to the mix of understanding a wisdom is achieved, an acceptance of who we are because we do understand our limitations and excellence in all that we do.

But in the beginning this world is very conditional with all of these many things that we have never faced. And as we have been taught from birth by those we love and looked up to, that those very people are struggling with ‘their’ early experiences, not fully understanding as yet that wisdom achieved from many years of experience and unintentionally ‘passing on’ those early understandings that are woven with many conditions as they struggle to find that nirvana that never seems to be achieved as each mountain peak is climbed.

Like that first job, all nerves and afraid to do it wrong, we will face life exactly the same way, slowly building an emotional understanding and confidence and be tested in many ways as time goes by. And when we feel that we have failed at something it leaves us disappointed, a mark on us that keeps niggling us to look and see why. A dent in our emotional armor for all to see.

And slowly that ache inside that holds us will keep entering our lives because it never seems to be resolved, the pain of it a reminder of some inability within ourselves that never seems to break free and become that love and happiness that we always seek.

But it is asking of us to find the key, with many hints of what this pain is built of, but never seeing it for what it really is. Even to the point of asking us to look deeper because a particularly traumatic time asks us to uncover that pain once more, see if we can break through ‘this time’ and finally understand. It can be such a painful journey but the very thing we seek at those mountain tops requires it of us. An appreciation of something that it has taken our lives to find and understand. That last peak, the big one that will finally be the tallest so that we can ‘see’ all around and appreciate what it has taken to achieve this wondrous view…finally seeing the forest…because of the tree’s.

Without the struggle it has no meaning, as all cycles have a beginning and an end. No part can be achieved without what went before. That understanding and appreciation of love ‘because of’ the pain, anger, struggle and fear that we have faced to achieve it. All those emotions brought about because of what we each individually needed to face to fine tune that understanding. And like that last step to the summit, an appreciation of what went before.

It is no small feat. A lifetime of trying to break free of this ‘thing’ that will not let us go until we understand. Fine tune each step so that whenever it holds us in its thrall we slowly understand that what went before was not that key we have been looking for so we try again. Sometimes blocking because we are not ready yet.

But one day all of those paths come together, all of those experiences and the wisdom that we have gained will push us to do the unknown, step beyond what we think we can do and like all masters challenge our beliefs to step where no man/woman has gone before…a belief beyond what had held us for so, so long and finally ‘see’ that what we have held in our hearts had great purpose. To ‘see’ that stairway leading up the mountain in all its glory, to understand that we had to follow our own paths exactly as we have to achieve that very understanding. To ‘see’ that by doing exactly as we have, trips, stumbles and falls guiding us to that very key to open a lock within to a beauty almost beyond belief as it shows us how it has all been done exactly as it is so that we can ‘see’ and appreciate that love like no other. There is no ‘wrong’ as each and every step has only one thing in its purpose, to guide, give understanding and find that thing we always seek. It is the only path or we would never finally ‘feel’ its beauty in our understanding of that path.

Climb my friends and understand that even if you do fall down, know that beneath it has great purpose, because behind it all is a love like no other. It wishes to show you someone, a someone who does know how to struggle, does believe enough of themselves to take that next step, and in doing so will find that nirvana of love and happiness that they looked for, for so long, is really there waiting for them.

Believe in you…climb and be free ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

Merry Christmas To All!

By Mark Lanesbury

On December 22, 2018

In The Journey

Still here guys, just still a little sidetracked with some healing, my own and others 😀
I tried to individually give a little Merry Christmas message to everyone I follow on the reader but as I have followed in the hundreds that soon became ridiculous 😀
So hopefully this will still post and go out to the one and all beautiful people on this blog world and give a little cheer to join the many heart lights that this world brings <3
Thank you all for a very interesting year to say the least, and to those magical people who’s caring and love is always to the fore for each and every soul on here, and especially to those whose care towards my ‘journey’ showed that love also, thank you! <3
May the blessings of the season be returned in kind to everyone, show the beauty that a helping, guiding light can bring, and the love that is within us all shine on that path to our happiness <3

A New Year beckons a new journey, may yours be built on that love! <3

Mark <3 xox

Our Nakedness!

By Mark Lanesbury

On October 20, 2018

In The Journey

I am walking down the middle of the main street of my town, many people on both sides. Each step I take shows me a different part of the street, a new shop, different people…even the energy can be felt at levels never before touched. I have started at the beginning of the street, slowly making my way along its length and the people are quite loud. It is laughter and becoming quite distinct, and for some reason I’m really affected by it, squirming at each step and afraid that it is at me.

Then I realise why…I’m naked…exposed physically and emotionally, and totally at odds with the environment and bringing myself to the attention of one and all. There is nowhere to go, nowhere to hide…I just have to keep walking. At each step I begin to hear voices now, but they are no longer laughing, they are now voicing their concerns, branding me with their shock at what I am doing, letting me know that this is not acceptable. Many emotions can now be distinguished, laughter becoming embarrassment, raised voices becoming more stern and touching on anger as their judgement comes to the fore. I try to disappear in plain sight but regardless of my direction I must face what is happening.

And in that humdrum of noise it is my turn to be shocked, and strengthened by a lone voice, one of praise for daring the un-darable and standing in the nakedness of my truth, no longer masked by my fears. It puts another brick into the foundation of the path I am walking.

I have almost reached the end of the street and an overpowering urge to stop and look back overcomes me. And in that moment I finally ‘see’ where I have been and realise this is my life’s path. Many judgements from all around, reinforcing beliefs that were never mine, but locking me into their owners. All of these built on the fears that they held from that very same process I now tread.

My walk has taken quite a long time and I now realise that as each step gives me these understandings my nakedness no longer matters, and in fact has built a quiet strength as my belief in self grows. The people back at the beginning of my walk have forgotten me and moved on. I can see everything that has been directed at me was only coming from their fears, their embarrassment, their inability to deal with a moment because of where ‘they’ were at within themselves as they deal with their own ‘naked’ walk.

So, what does this all mean. No, I didn’t dream the above, it was shown to me after a little wander into my own main street that lives within each of us. In fact spirit has taken me on a guided tour ‘back’, and I mean ‘way back’ into my past, the beginning of my walk up that same main street to a time of my childhood to where my fears of rejection were really being ‘locked in’ at around that tender time of 9 years old.

That rejection I felt was a lack of love from my father and my attempts at gaining it by doing so many things to please and being knocked back each time until a coping strategy was put in place to deal with its pain. A wall of fear. And each time I faced that rejection in the future it would raise its head.

I thought I had faced that life fear over the last couple of years and understood that journey…and I had as an adult…but that 9 year old was still lost and needed to touch that understanding and the reassurance that it brings.

Over the last couple of years I had met this very nice lady that had an incredible energy that always gives me a signal that something is about to happen. But as the years went by nothing seemed to be occurring so I thought that it was just something in the ‘connection’ and it was doing its thing. Little did I know I was being prepared for that event.

I have visited this ladies home out in the country a few times now, each time to mind her home while she was away or on a mercy errand to help with a healing with her animals. And to be truthful, an enjoyable re-connection with her and my childhood love of nature growing up in a similar place.

But on the second last visit she had given me some Bowen Therapy that released something very powerful within me. And as I was minding her home while she was away at a workshop I was left to fend for myself, not realising I was about to re-enact those childhood fears in a big way.

When I was a child in those moments of rejection I would go out into the nearby forest, lay down in the long grass and just close down and hear the nature all around me, wind blowing through the tree’s, and an intense loneliness would envelop me. The first night at this ladies home after the Bowen Therapy felt exactly like those moments in the forest. Her home buffs against a state forest, so wind in the tree’s, birds and other animals calling…and that loneliness descended like a blanket, to a point that I was almost in shock because of my reaction.

At first I wasn’t sure of what it meant, an emotion that seemed to touch me and leave me drained, but with no understanding to follow. But the next journey to her home months later now finally opened that door, allowed that 9 year old to touch a missing link but with the wisdom of that hindsight above, and look back into my journey to ‘see’ a time traveled and why I reacted as I did.

I’ve seen that my dad had also been treated that very same way by his father and it was all he knew. He could only be what he had become on that journey, given to him by those he loved and looked up to, just as I had through my life. But understanding changes us, and that wind in the tree’s showed me that I have come a long way indeed, so far that I can now see, forgive, release and become the nakedness of my truth, no longer held back by thinking it was ‘others’ and uncovering those things that I had buried through fear.

It was a raw touch of those past feelings of a 9 year old, but for that 9 year old to see those truths and finally understand them released a way of being that had held him for way too long, no longer stealing life by living within those shackles that we mold because of our journey.

The road has cleared a little more, the light is extending further on my path, and an acceptance of myself has shown me that even though these paths are pretty rough, beneath them all is a love like no other, under those muddy steps there really is a yellow brick road for us all. The peace that has descended on me is quite profound, even though I feel I am still in shock dealing with these understandings. So much so that on arriving ‘home’ I feel very disjointed like I no longer live here and feel that I’m in a strange place. But the overall feeling is one of change, the releasing of the old so that a new path can be built. No longer ‘reacting’ to life but one of building a future of wherever I wish to go.

There may be more to add to this story yet as time goes by but its like going through any event, when we look back we see it with new eyes and understand it in its different pieces until an acceptance of who and what we have become because of it settles into place.

And in fact, and to be totally honest…at the moment I just feel like sitting in the sun and eating an ice cream…I wonder where that 9 year old really is right now, do we ever really leave them behind, no longer a part of what we have become? 😀

The People In Our Lives!

By Mark Lanesbury

On March 26, 2018

In The Journey

People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty…

To provide you with guidance and support…

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually…

They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die…

Sometimes they walk away…

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand….

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled…

Their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON.

Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.

Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life…

Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime

~ Unknown author ~

They are guiding us towards that self love those many people in our lives…the good ones, bad and in between…they each show us…us!
May those that you meet see the truth and beauty that those before encouraged us to stand in ❤️

Tree’s!

By Mark Lanesbury

On November 23, 2017

In The Journey

I read these words by Ram Dass over on Grief Happens blog, and like her I thought it appropriate for the season too…

‘When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees.

And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever.

And you look at the tree and you allow it.

You see why it is the way it is.

You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way.

And you don’t get all emotional about it.

You just allow it.

You appreciate the tree.

The minute you get near humans, you lose all that.

And you are constantly saying ‘You’re too this, or I’m too this.’

That judging mind comes in.

And so I practice turning people into trees.

Which means appreciating them just the way they are’

And at the bottom of her post she simply says…

‘Who are you turning into a tree this holiday season?’ 😀

Compassion!

By Mark Lanesbury

On September 5, 2017

In The Journey

The lovely Barbara Franken at ‘Me My Magnificent Self’ has asked me to do a guest post on compassion at her website.

To which I firstly say thank you for thinking of me to contribute, and secondly for your site, a wellspring of so much positivity and love with an attitude of finding our own hearts so that we can bless those around us by being the healing and blessing that this discovery brings.

And of course in that discovery is found much compassion as it blossoms from within because we have now understood the meaning of those fears in our lives, and in breaking through them we realise what others are still going through. And in now understanding each side of the equation of fear and compassion, it now opens that love within, for ourselves and in our dealings with those around us.

To this day it still amazes me just how powerful our love and compassion is, for the strength and courage it has taken to step past many painful things in our lives. But the biggest wonder I ever see, is that beautiful recognition I see in the eyes of another as that understanding reaches its final destination…their hearts. The tears begin to flow in an acceptance of exactly who they are as the walls come tumbling down, and a glow like no other begins to shine from within.

To read this guest post on compassion at Barbara’s site, please click here… ‘Compassion!’

And thank you Barbara for allowing me to share my journey on your lovely site, and be a part of that compassion you share with all.

Namaste <3

Reflections of Life!

By Mark Lanesbury

On August 9, 2017

In The Journey

And eventually we do put ourselves first…not as we normally do in life, forcefully…but by understanding our fears, and giving a love to ourselves that we initially did not dare because of how we felt about ourselves. It is in putting us first instead of our fears.

Our fears have to be lived to be understood, and in their outcome is the wisdom of that love. We always give from where we are at. And that is mirrored back to us in our lives by those around us. And as we grow up we give from those fears, a place where we feel unloved and unwanted. Each time we give a flower or argue with a friend, those actions are reflected back to us so that we can ‘see’ where our hearts are, giving out a curved version of who we are because of the expectations of ourselves built from those walls of fear.

And we can never see or understand our fears for many years because we avoid them because of their pain…but as life goes on, those around us keep reflecting back who we are, so that we can ‘see’ where we truly are inside. You know, those situations in relationships that always seem to keep repeating themselves, leaving you totally amazed at how these events keep happening. Making you feel like the universe is picking on you. Until you reach that point where ‘I can’t do this anymore’ becomes your mantra.

But once the fear is understood, it loses its power, and we then see that it has only been us that is blocking our love for ourselves…because we didn’t feel worthy of it.

Our negativities and low self worth from childhood hold those walls up until we are forced to step through them. As we have done by going through the many ups and downs within our life. Slowly we have been able to ‘see’ those walls and with great courage and strength, dared those fears to find that belief of who we really are within and become that love we always seek in our lives, that happiness that we look for but never seem to find.

It is there, gently waiting, prodding us to take the next step, to at last find that love, and be that true freedom within. And to be totally happy, for we have finally found what we have been seeking all our lives…to love ourselves unconditionally. For those fears ARE the conditions we had placed on our journey, and in defeating them we totally appreciate what it has taken to break through and find who we really are within.

And in doing so, we are finally free. Because that happiness is the love we dared to give ourselves, releasing the conditions that held us in chains, to find an unconditional that will leave you in tears…tears of love and gratitude because of what you have now found within.

May your journey dare those fears, for through them is a light like no other, and a beauty beyond measure…….your light <3

To Live!

By Mark Lanesbury

On June 3, 2017

In The Journey

As many would know, spirit spoke to me about 5 years ago and said that I would die when I was 60. And as everything else that spirit spoke to me about has come true, I had no doubt that it would happen.
This left me to face some very big and entrenched fears in my life, and in doing so, thankfully, I have climbed and removed many walls in my life, understood the reasons behind those fears so that I am now free from their tyranny.
Don’t get me wrong, they have a very important part in our lives. In living them and enduring their pain, it shows us compassion and the ability to love ourselves as nothing else can.
So I find myself in a beautiful place in my life…so spirit decided it was time to look a little deeper…much deeper.
Spirit came to me and said (and I wasn’t even thinking of death or anything even associated with it)…’Who said you would not live again!’ And that was it.
It was so out of nowhere that I wondered if I hadn’t ‘seen’ something after all that death had so far shown me.

Would I literally die, but come alive again. Like those stories you hear about people dying on the operating table but ‘coming back’?
Would I truthfully ‘live again’ in the spirit world.
Or would I ‘live again’ in another lifetime.

I have thought about it for a while and the one thing that it showed me promise for on my journey is…it doesn’t matter. And in realising that I’m comfortable that it no longer ‘holds me back’.
Maybe that was what it was for…to ‘see’ that we will all be alive again…once our walls come down <3

My Very First Post – #MyFirstPostRevisited

By Mark Lanesbury

On March 4, 2017

In The Journey

A tag started by a blogger/writer called Sarah Brentyn, asking us to revisit our first ever blog posts! <3

I have been very nicely asked by my friend Carolina to visit my first ever post…and after 3 minutes of scrolling down the page…ta daaaa!

Here is my very first Blog Post:

THE JOURNEY HAS BEGUN!

Ok, I’ve created a few pages, rearranged a few things , and now getting used to WordPress and its particulars. The first four pages are up, The Journey, The Heart, The Beginning, The Reverse and these will be followed by The Fear, The Love, The Truth, The Dreaming and The Death (I hope to complete these over the next few weeks). And maybe more as I do this wander through life and the urge to ‘live’ and feel some of the most incredible things. I become more amazed as spirit shows me some of life’s ‘realities’ under our day to day life that we all lead.

For many years it has been a slog, as it is for most all of us initially, but that is only to show us one side of the coin, a familiar track that has been taught to us by our parents, family and friends and of course, let us not forget the ‘system’ of schools, law and community. Now I’m not being derogatory by the previous statement as they are needed very much to assist in the creation of who we all are. A lesson in this very physical world showing us how to live and be a part of this world we live in.

It’s when we reach those places in our life where we realise ‘there has to be more’, and then we start to look, to search, and try to understand just what it is we are missing. It can be frustrating just trying to come to terms, with what it is, that we seem to be trying to achieve. So the hunt begins. A clue here, a hint there, and sometimes we lock onto something that appears to be what we are after but it doesn’t quite fill the void. So we keep looking. And looking.

And then one day after some serious searching throughout your life, you finally begin to realise that the most happiest times in your life have been when you have actually given to yourself. Released any expectations of yourself, and just been in the moment with something you have enjoyed doing. Whether it was an occasion with family or friends or something you enjoy doing for yourself. After doing this it leaves you with a smile, even if not so much an external one, but one that you feel within.

It is then that you begin to realise that the more you give to yourself, the more you give from that place. The more happier you are within, the more you radiate that out from where you are at. The important bit is to be that Truth, live that way on a day to day basis. If you do this with integrity, and not selfishly, everything begins to change. You begin to change, and all those negative things that you seem to attract to you before, change to a more positive and happier outcome.

Yes, life can still throw things in your direction but the more you follow this path the more you realise that ninety nine percent of the time we keep this ‘what if’ going in our heads and ninety nine percent of the time…none of it happens. And the reality is you always put your best foot forward anyway. Tell me when you’ve deliberately done something wrong? Made mistakes yes, sometimes some doozies (me too), but never deliberately. Learn, take in the wisdom that it taught you, and let it go. The lesson is for you, no one else, just you.

It takes time, but hey, you’ve got the rest of your life to do it. Don’t make it a chore, just take one day at a time. Live now and let the world take care of itself. It will, and with that new attitude begin to love the most important person in that world. You are more important than you realise. You are starting a new you. You are beginning the realisation that you are a part of the most incredibly beautiful creation that ever existed, and ever will.

It all begins…with a smile…and another…and before long it just comes naturally!

Here we come to the rules:

Obvious rules:

No cheating. (It must be your first post. Not your second post, not one you love…first post only.)

Link back to the person who tagged you (thank them if you feel like it or, if not, curse them with a plague of ladybugs).

Other rules:

Cut and paste your old post into a new post or reblog your own bad self. (Either way is fine but NO editing.)

Put the hashtag #MyFirstPostRevisited in your title.

Tag…um…tentwotwelve five (5) other bloggers to take up this challenge.

Notify your tags in the comment section of their blog (don’t just hope they notice a pingback somewhere in their spam).

Feel free to cut and paste the badge to use in your post.

Include “the rules” in your post.

Completely silly rules that I’m making up as I type:

Transmute yourself from wherever you are to a nice tropical island for a two week stay at absolutely no cost,
and force yourself to enjoy it! 😀

Here there are my tag choices:

❤ Amanda

❤ Pam

❤ Anne-Marie

You are by no mean obligated to participate but if you do would be a fun way to look at your Blog growth and transformation!

My thanks to Carolina at Yesterdayafter for including me in her Tag, and it was fun to look back to the beginning and see where my blog’s travel began!

Love and light to you all!

Mark

P.S. No, I normally do not do any awards or such, but for only the second time since I’ve been on WordPress, I have dared, simply as it was different and ‘touched’ what I needed to see! 😀

Joy…is it a myth?

By Mark Lanesbury

On October 8, 2016

In The Journey

This post is triggered by a friend, Leigh, who was wondering out loud in her post, ‘Joy, what is it?’ , and its part in her life. So I thought I would pass on what I personally found, and maybe it will help or give an understanding in something that we all ask at times in our lives.

In my own journey I felt a joy from what I was taught…lets say it was my birthday (as a child) was coming up, so I would get all excited and happy leading up to it. And children are much more unconditional until ‘life’ gets in the way. So it was my environment guided me in many things like this, from what I was shown and experienced as I grew up.

But the one thing that never seemed to be satisfied, was this ‘something’ that I never seemed to reach, a place where everyone said I would be happy when I reached it, but in finding this ‘so called’ nirvana, it left a lingering hollow that just didn’t touch what I thought would be ‘joy’. A career, home, partner, children and so on would bring it into my life, but never a lasting one to make you feel you had found ‘it’, that place we all search for.

Until I did ‘touch’ it, after picking myself up off the floor in a crying heap as I finally ‘saw’ what was truly holding me back. After a divorce, severe anxiety, loss of family and friends…I finally dared to look within and ask that question…’is this it down here, a life of misery and pain?’, as my fear dragged me kicking and screaming into changing what I had re-inforced my whole life up till that point.

Through my life I saw one thing, and one thing only…as a child it was my reaction to (I felt), was my dad treating me in such a way that I felt he didn’t love me, and that I couldn’t handle it anymore…so I blocked him emotionally (I was a grand old age of about 7 or 8). And anyone else who said they loved me needed to then ‘be’ a certain way to prove themselves, and I would drown them in some artificial love (because it had conditions tied to it everywhere), by sending flowers, invite them out, do grand things for them…all built on my fear of not being loved, being rejected by those who I loved and looked up to. Of which I carried on into adult hood.

So began my journey to find ‘why’, and once I saw what it was….I finally let go something that had weighed a ton on my life up to that point, physically, emotionally and most certainly spiritually as I had blocked it with all my walls.

My point being, once that fear was finally understood, you let go, and I mean really let go of expectations (of you and others), wants, needs, judgement, and a million other things that we don’t realise we do in avoiding that fear. The world completely changed overnight…well, actually I did…and without that one constant of fear affecting everything that I did…I began to ‘see’…and I mean really ‘see’ what had always been there, but I was blinded by my walls.

Let me show you an example of how it happens….your boss asks you to do something for your work, it is going to take some serious effort to get done so it will take over your life while you finish it. It is done at work, at home, in the shower and even sidetracks you in your family life. When you finally come back up for air at the jobs end, half your life has passed you by. A child’s birthday missed, a presentation for a family member or even friends invites are ignored.

And that is what fear does, it blinds you to life, keeps you on-guard and sidetracked in so many ways. But when it is finally understood, it is YOUR jobs end. You will release it because it no longer has power over you. You…are…free.

And in that freedom is a relief, release and self love because of what you have endured to see it for what it is, and break free of that life of drudgery.

And then something comes in that you weren’t expecting….you can now ‘see’ life (dancing under your tree’s Leigh 🙂 ), and it brings a joy like no other. It is a feeling that you have never had, simply because it has been blocked all your life. And there where it has always been is…your lovely tree’s on a roadway :), a butterfly with beautiful wings, flowers with color that you have never been able to really see before, even just a child’s happy face.

You can even now see and feel joy in others, because you ARE now joy because of what you now understand within yourself.

Yes, through your life you will feel bursts of joy in different events, simply because you have let your fear go, its overpowering reins on your life for just a while…until it slowly comes back in, reminding you of what you hold deep within.

That is our journey, to find that joy, in the love we have of ourselves. It holds so much joy unlike anything in this world…but it is only blocked by that wall of fear. Beneath that wall is an indescribable beauty…a place that will bring a smile from within like no other, regardless of where you are, whenever you are…it is timeless, and very unconditional.

I wish I could just show you what I found…but then you wouldn’t understand, because you hadn’t experienced giving that love to you, and finding that joy…the most important part of this entire journey down here 🙂

Change…it is our birthright!

By Mark Lanesbury

On October 2, 2016

In The Journey

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

Rumi

“And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?”

Rumi

“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.”

Rumi

First Love! (Part II)

By Mark Lanesbury

On July 14, 2016

In The Journey

What can I say, that first encounter (First Love!) was over 12 months ago.
She crossed my mind often, in between life’s many wanderings…but not to make ‘that’ meeting again.
It felt like a loss, but not, because I was blessed with touching something so beautiful for what it was.
So I moved on, lived in a world somehow devoid a little because it felt so wonderfully close and personal, but never to be touched.
I had even tried to measure it against what I thought my life should be like, constantly a part of someone who made me feel that way.
Fool…expectations are a brace for the unwary, wanting of something that I couldn’t find in myself.
And because of that realisation, I let it go…gently, oh so gently.
And so in doing this, I allowed it to happen again…just by minding my own business, expectation-less and celebrating a birthday with a friend.
And there she was…I wasn’t sure what to do at first…a quick hello because of how unsure I felt, many people around us.
But the glow in that smile, the sparkle in those eyes could never hide this…this ‘connection’ beyond time.
We mingled with friends, always aware of a darted eye, a comment, and that smile that can only come from one place.
I also became aware my jaw was hurting again, like the first time, from smiling so much…but I didn’t care. I would recite a prayer 5 million times just to see her smile.
Many little chats began, but broken because we realised we were ignoring everyone else…but flowing so smoothly.
And suddenly we were by ourselves, wiping up the dishes, a chore by anyone’s standards…but we didn’t see it.
And even that came to an end, and my time was up, I had to leave…but never wanting to.
Unsure of what to say to end this day…I lifted my arms to show a farewell at the least by that embrace.
And it happened…….we gently embraced and joined together in the most beautiful serenity, melting into each other.
We floated in a sensation that when we met before was but a gentle flutter, now turning full force.
The world did not exist, nothing did but that beautiful touch within.
A moment as the ego wanted to know what it meant, but I released it and moved beyond it into acceptance. Just a perfect moment where everything was…was…just so perfect.
Not a word was spoken, it didn’t need to be. Not a movement was made, it was no longer required…we just were.
I have felt many things in this life, touched many hearts, experienced much love, physically and spiritually in the healing’s around me.
But this…words could not utter what was there in that moment…I was lost…and found…in the simplicity of that connection.
A singularity where all comes together in that one instant of time, to touch that perfection.
We finally released each other, very reluctantly, after what seemed like forever, and searched for a way to be together again.
And the universe opened and showed us a way…she would be back in two weeks.
I left. I smiled inside and out, my jaw hurting like crazy…by a pain I did not want to stop.
Two weeks?…14 days? Could I wait that long.
This is only day three…and look at what I have written.
Even my heart is beginning to ache…but it too is a pain I would gladly endure forever.
But above all that, is the one thing that is there above all else.
I ‘knew’, even before a word had been spoken…a calm ‘knowing’ that I was already there, a connection unlike any before.
Soul Mates? Or is that just the Universe opening a gate, to help us to walk through and find that truth within.
I’m reaching for the latch…hesitating…but I am lost already, and know it.
Smiling the smile of the heart, I follow my path…touching that place within us all, with a love like no other to guide us truly.

***Footnote: Well, a little time has now passed since I wrote the above, spirit had asked me to ‘delay’ putting it up. And I realise why now. I’ve had time to digest something that still leaves me amazed at this connection. But it wasn’t meant to be.
The lady in question is going through a very difficult time in her life so is in no space to be wanting a relationship at the moment.
So, what does that mean…well, I do now realise, because of the previous relationship that I was in, that if it didn’t ‘connect’ with the incredible power that it did, I may not have told myself ‘it is time to move on’, and wanted to. It isn’t until we are faced with these issues that we really look within and make those decisions. Don’t get me wrong, I have been quite happy in going where I have gone in life, but I think it may be time to ‘change’ my direction, hence the ‘contact’ with another beautiful soul.
But beyond that…I was allowed to touch something…feel and see something that is within us all. And I smile all the more inside for the ‘knowing’ of that beauty, and what is gently waiting as we step past our fears, and open truly to a whole new way of being 🙂

Finding Your Heart!

By Mark Lanesbury

On May 5, 2016

In The Journey

(An old, but important reblog for a friend)

But which one? The one that goes pump, pump…or the one we feel every little emotional vibration with? Or are they the same one?

The Journey we all make within, one way or the other, can come at any time in our lives. Usually at a time of deep emotional upheaval due to a loss of something…a partner through divorce, the security of a job, a death in the family or even from facing a fear …and sometimes all of them. And in response to this we often feel the pain deep inside with an emotional agony that we think will never leave us. We have all been there sometime in our lives and know this isn’t an easy time.

It takes a long time, going through the stages of grief, anger, fear, loss to finally reach an acceptance of what has happened. This can take years and in the final view, we look back at different times in our life and see that we actually change over this time frame and see we have actually changed in how we feel about what has happened. Why? Is it because we are not as close to the situation any more…or maybe we have reached an understanding that yes, we have lost something but now that the waves of emotion have finally settled to a more manageable level we can see that we have come to a point of accepting, and have changed in such a way that many of those things we used to worry about, don’t really matter anymore, are no longer important, and our direction in life has taken on a whole new meaning for us. We find that as our life progresses we are able to handle these situations in a much better way.

As a child when we lose something it is called a ‘spak attack’, as for them this is an absolute loss and the only way to express this is directly from the heart. Scream, yell and cry your eyes out. (And I might add it is a very good way to release tension and stress from the body…but you try and do this each time, as an adult, that you don’t get your way and watch out…the boss, wife, boyfriend is going to be loooong gone very quickly). As a child gets older this is…beaten, scolded and ‘learned’ out of them. They begin to take on the persona of those adults and people around them, mainly because they are people that they love and look up to, until such a time, usually around eight years old, that it is locked in, walled up, covered over and second nature to them, and these attitudes are carried on into adulthood. And of course how they act, to them, seems so right and correct, that they react so badly to all the other children and their ‘right and correctness’ that they close down that tiny little pump, pump thing, (or was it the other one?), so that they can no longer be hurt by it any more. They are all so sure that they are right in their attitude, (well, it was taught to them by their loved ones), and they might agree with the stronger children, (who wants to get taunted, embarrassed, abused or bashed?), but deep inside they still side with mum and dad.

So now we have the little problem of all those things tucked away inside, ready for those unwary souls that want to be a part of who you are. Boss’s, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, husbands and wives. And what a Pandora’s box! I’ll always remember my first girlfriend. How on earth did she make me do all those things…the guys would laugh their backsides off…but I came back for more, and more. What was this funny attitude I had…this gooey, intense, adoring, couldn’t stand to be away from her type feeling…ever. Where did that come from? Yes, I loved my mum and dad, brothers and sisters. But this, it was like a Bullet Train, so fast and POW, at the platform already and didn’t care where we went. Then she broke it off…the world came crashing down…I felt like I was dying. She had pulled out my heart and left it on the street to be downtrodden forever.

And as we progress into this world of pain, love, pain, love…we reinforce those things we are taught from youth by closing down our hearts from pain, opening it up to love, over and over. Until one day you just can’t do it anymore, your so tired and scared of being hurt, that you decide to close up shop and not let anyone come near that poor little pump, pump and its emotional connection to you.

But what if we knew, really knew, that we had actually put ourselves in this position in the first place? What if it was meant to be! What if it was needed, so that we could truly understand what it was like to be down at the lowest point in fear, anger, pain and hurt from our reactions to all those things that happen in our lives…so that when we ARE at the opposite end, and are happily ecstatic, madly in love…don’t you think we would be so much more appreciative because of what we have suffered and now learned what it was to be like at the bottom of the human emotional ladder? The learning we understand when we know that ‘opening our hearts’ is actually a beautiful place to be. Giving you great strength and fearlessness to deal with everyday life? The healing that takes place when we open, and in that healing being able to heal others? The ability to create on such a level that it amazes you, let alone those around you? This learning is so powerful that as each and every one of us interact it creates a wisdom within that is taken wherever we go and used as an encyclopaedia for everything we do. If you haven’t learned it properly, you do it again, (and even keep telling yourself inside ‘why did I do that again, I know better!’).

And that is just on the outside, physically. On the inside is just the same, you do the range of emotions and learn from that as well, with many an admonition to never do that again. But we do…why…because the urge to feel that one thing that we are missing in our lives, and comes closest when we are in love…is to love ourselves…totally and unconditionally. If you think I’m wrong, then why is it that we always put ourselves down, feel that we are not capable of something or avoid something through fear. Think about it, we act exactly how we think of ourselves. If you are angry, that’s how you act. If you are happy, that’s how you act. If you unconditionally love yourself, that’s how you act…how many people do you see that love themselves unconditionally. Not many, I’m sure.

What would it be like to live with people like that, no stress, no pain, no anger…sounds like heaven. Do you think I’m kidding you? You don’t think that we go along each day convincing ourselves that everything is ok and concentrate only on the good bits and ignore the rest? Yes, that works for a while, but I’ll let you in on a little secret…YOUR Higher Self, Guide, Spirit, God deliberately puts you into a position so that you face that very fear/problem you were so desperately trying to avoid. If you battle it out to get your own way and avoid it…it will roll back up down the track a bit further. Still think I’m rambling on…then tell me, which one of those fears/problems have you been able to avoid and it’s never come back? Zero, nada…not a one! Because that is where you wish to go…and you know this deep inside. And when you look back you will actually see some of the things that you do…the arguments, actions and things that at the time seemed the right thing,(and to your Self, it is), but looking back you cringe and think ‘did I really do that’.

And when you have time to really absorb this you will finally realise it has turned out for the best. There will be turns and twists that make you feel that the world is out to get you but in the end you WILL be able to smile again, you WILL be able to feel again…and above all, you WILL be able to LOVE again. And each time from a much better place. Yes, sometimes they create more fear, like scared to open up to someone again, but that is your journey that you chose, and you WILL get past that too, and each time be more beautiful inside as you realise you are coming home…to you…where all the love in the universe is…and always has been.

As you begin to understand this, be prepared to feel something…something that you know within is a deep truth…that could only come from one source, and learn to listen to what your Higher Self, Spirit, Guide or God is really saying…to show you a path that is eon’s old and as fresh as today…and a healing for that little pump, pump that you hold so dear!

The Traveler!

By Mark Lanesbury

On March 3, 2016

In The Journey

The soul…eternal…connected…sharing…as one.
But just imagine being eternal…ageless…forever part of these multiverses.
A balance…at times physical…emotional…spiritual…independent, in the many forms taken.
A ‘life’ that goes on and on, forever seeking….something.
It cannot just ‘be’, for it is always absorbing, accepting from all around.
Otherwise it would stagnate, diminish and be absorbed into what ‘is’.
In all its ever journey’s it senses, touches, and experiences all around.
For a knowledge like no other, that thing that we all seek…even in our part ‘down here’.
All parts living a journey, to blossom, reveal and understand that path.
Cycles upon cycles, ever reaching to find that something, that meaning to sate that urge within.
Until our path is revealed, each time a blossoming in knowledge as that understanding is reached.
But where are we going? What purpose does a destination have in forever.
For if we found it, we would also stagnate, purpose released.
Then a traveler must be a purpose within itself, that constant journey, a journey to find self.
That place that is changing within, in each experience that we do.
Each time building self, that love within from those many understandings that they give.
Showing us ourselves in each passing moment…to be felt, realised…savored even.
We are travelers, moving, always moving…but within that movement blossoms a love,
even as a flower does, always changed, no two the same, but so beautiful within themselves.
So I bid you welcome fellow traveler, I greet you and share this moment in time.
May your travels enlighten, touch that soul, to begin another journey as each change brings a new love within.

Namaste

Seeking Love!

By Mark Lanesbury

On February 14, 2016

In The Journey

In all that we do in our lives, the largest most meaningful act that we do…is to seek love. It is the one thing that drives us, above all else…to find a love that will complete us, give us that happiness we so desperately search for, and a smile that goes on forever!

But each time we think we’ve found it, through those rose coloured glasses (initially) that block out those bits that may seem a little rough around the edges, it slowly resolves to its truth. Those once overlooked parts slowly creep out of the closet along with a dose of reality that make us take a step back to figure out just where we are in this maze of feelings.

And each time it slowly pushes a button, which we ignore for a while but slowly it becomes three feet across and weighs a ton. Try doing that up on your jacket with a one inch hole.

So what does this all mean, this never ending search for someone ‘out there’ who will fulfill this lifelong attempt to find this place that is supposed to be the nadir, the elixir of eternal happiness.

Each time we ‘find’ that special someone we do go through that ‘rose coloured glasses’ period for a reason. It will show us, and hold us, in a very beautiful connection of love. Move the earth, walk on water and a happiness like no other. It is teaching us this love so that we understand that ‘oh so beautiful feeling’, and what is possible in this incredible journey that we are on.

But the button bit also has a purpose. The pain that slowly rises up among this blissful place asks us to look within. Yes, in the early relationships we always point the finger at the other party and know by how we are being treated that this is not love. And these things can test us like no other. A love that holds us there desperately wanting to be loved but constantly being pierced by this pain.

But this has purpose too. We don’t want to leave, but can’t stay either. This, push me pull you, constantly waging a war of attrition trying to find a way through. And as each battle is raged we look for a way out, to repair or finally give up the ghost on something that has so much meaning for us. Yes, we are afraid, petrified of losing the beauty that has so much meaning for us…because within that is the one thing that drives our hearts like no other. But it also has the other thing that tears it apart as well…fear!

And that fear touches a pain from our childhood, a feeling of rejection, a hurt that at that age leaves a very big mark in our lives. And the ones we love with an open heart later in life, also touch these places, and the feeling is so raw and painful. It is this that shows us our journey, to look within and find what that pain means within us.

It will hide deeply because we’ve had a lifetime of burying it, hiding it and avoiding anything that brings that pain to the surface. But it is only by looking within, seeing it in its true light, that we can finally understand what it was that we felt was so painful, and let it go in that understanding.

And then we are free…free to love ourselves, forgive others and move past those bars that kept us viewing life from a distance. It truly does show us within that we ‘do matter’, and very much so. It shows us, in understanding our fear, how to love ourselves.

When I finally found it I was in shock because even for someone with my awareness, I had hidden it, disguised it, and gave this mask to myself and out into the world. And in that understanding I was free, and I don’t mean just free to do whatever I wished….this freedom is like nothing else, because you see, my fear had bound me in everything I did, it was a part of every breathing moment in all that I was. It’s like wearing a helmet 24 hours a day, you slowly get used to it and it becomes second nature, but you can’t see properly, you can’t do things because it confines your natural movement, it weighs you down in all that you do. But when I truly ‘saw’ what it was…I broke into tears and a weight like no other left me, I literally floated for weeks after it.

And because it was gone, I viewed everything from a complete new way…and the incredible part was…I was no longer guided by this fear…I no longer needed to be guided, I could now choose my path, where before it was chosen by the fear.

AND, the part that has totally blown me away…I no longer ‘need’ to find that love ‘out there’. Yes, I would like to share my love with someone, but it is no longer driven by that ‘need’ that had always been there, ever driving me to find that love and happiness for myself within another. I can now see that it was all a projection, I was always sending my fear ‘out there’ and attracting accordingly so that I ‘can’ deal with my fear, understand and release it, to find that freedom and love within.

It is a very strange place, because of that lifetime of always seeking love with that weight on our shoulders, things all take on a new light. I can now truly see so many things that before were blindfolded to me because of my fear. I now have ‘time’, and lots of it. The urge to do something or be something is gone, it no longer matters. I matter, as another beautiful blogger, maryrose, has given me the key many, many times in her beautiful replies. And while ever ‘I matter’ and I learn that loving myself is the key, then that is what I will always attract into my life as a natural course, just as the sun rises and sets every day, displaying a unique and beautiful sight each time in its journey.

It isn’t easy to seek our love, that is why it has so much impact in our lives. But in finding it, it will leave a mark like nothing else ever will…a love that will never be blocked out by life again because we have loved ourselves to find it…and a love like no other…that IS unconditional love.

May you be the love that you seek.

Namaste

An Experience of Death!

By Mark Lanesbury

On February 1, 2016

In The Journey

This post below (Part 1) is from my original page ‘The Death’ up on the menu bar. It was an encounter that I was privileged to experience and feel with spirit in my journey to understand my fears as I go through life. It was also a very profound and life changing event that has changed me forever. I was shown just what happens as we let go of this journey of life down here, the emotions, feelings…but most of all, the understanding that what we have experienced down here, isn’t the end of the journey…but a profound learning in building that unconditional love in us all.

For others that have read this post, I’m also adding a new section (Part 2), at the bottom of this post for something that I found I needed time to digest and understand, as it was very much outside what we normally view as death. We usually view it from where we are now at, down here contemplating ‘is this it’, ‘what comes next’. But the view I am adding is what I was shown from our spiritual side and just what this journey means to us, as a spiritual being experiencing ‘life’ in our journey.

This can be quite confronting, depending on your beliefs and attitude towards death, but it also does something else that I feel needs to be shown, and that is a truth that will ease our fear of death and help remove that ‘unknown’ factor, at least enough to allow us to understand our journey down here a little better and how we view what we think is the ‘so called’ final act within it.

In removing something that we carry with us all our lives, it can do something wonderful…allow us to live…free from a fear that weighs us down like any fear, and be the truth within, no longer reacting to things around us, but acting from choice and choosing to live while we are down here in this beautiful place!

Part 1.

Death!

Um, let’s change the subject!

Why? Are you afraid of death? I was, and I have to admit something here, not only was I afraid of death, I totally swept it under the carpet and didn’t want to go there unless I absolutely had to. A family member or friend passes away and you have no choice but to bring it back into view and face that thing that hovers in the back of your mind to which we block nearly all the time. It’s healthy to respect our time down here and know it’s for a finite time. Our fear is only produced because of how we are brought up around it and that little thing called the ‘unknown’ when we finally go there.

Now if it was an easy thing to do we would give it no wisdom, no respect and end it all because things were getting hard and life was becoming quite painful. But that fear, that unknown, allows us to give it the respect it deserves. Like all other aspects of our lives, The Love, The Fear, The Heart, The Truth etc, we do not know or understand these until we go through that journey that relates to each and every aspect of ourselves. That hard and sometimes quite painful time so that we can experience each facet that is our true selves so that we can understand and gain that wisdom of all of these to create the balance that is as unique as it is beautiful. Like a diamond. No two ever the same but indescribably beautiful in their own right.

I felt this on different occasions and it wasn’t until I read a book called ‘Journey Of Souls’ by Michael Newton that I let out this huge sigh and felt this incredible release, and understood and realised I was holding in this absolute fear, ticking away underneath, of a time that IT was going to sneak up on me and drag me away. The explanation in this book had finally touched something within me and for the first time in my life I could let go of this ‘thing’ that had been a part of me, kept in denial, and affecting a lot of things I did, felt and understood within my life. It was amazing just how it affected my attitudes and directions I would take because of that fear. I felt almost afraid to do things that would appear to be simple to most people (then again for them, maybe they weren’t), but kept me from stretching out, and to put it bluntly, live!

So after reading this book about the journey of souls as told by a lot of people under hypnosis, explaining the different aspects of the soul and how it integrates with our bodies in its journey, I let this fear go. The relief and realisation that I had let this affect me in so many ways also let me understand that like all other aspects of our learning and wisdom, I needed to feel that side first (The Reverse), before I could move into that, release and understand where I had come from, so I could now move into where I wanted to be. So many things that had been affected by my holding that fear was now being looked at from such a different space like night and day. The let go, the release, and actually just be me. All this time I had thought I was me. Not even close. I could now see because I had let down that protection, the walls that I had around me, physically and emotionally, I had now let myself see further than ever before. Step out into life differently, freely and more accepting of just why I’m here. I could now see beyond the wall and realise I was deliberately choosing to live. And that fear, the fear of dying, was the wall, and it was keeping me from living. Always it’s the reverse of what we think it is, but with that understanding we begin to realise it’s always the fears that keep us from really going where we want to go. And when we finally realise this, the walls come down, the fear subsides and at last, with the blinkers removed, the vista changes to one of wonder. Of a new experience, a new attitude and a new way of being.

Now up to this point I had thought that I had a good understanding of just what death was, an end to a path that had given me the wisdom and knowledge to realise my truth by releasing so many fears and balancing out my life in such a way as to be able to come from a place within that was truly unconditional. Little did I know. Now don’t get me wrong, ALL I have previously said is my truth, and also very much needed to understand my path as I strive to live on this planet. Spirit in its wisdom let me absorb all that went before so I could truly understand it, integrate it within and be able to express it properly here so that others may understand. But there was one thing missing from the equation that I have mentioned previously, and that is true understanding, to actually experience and feel the action so that you really do understand what has occurred. Like my previous comment, ‘you can be told that if you put your hand in the fire it will hurt’, but you never truly understand it until you do actually burn your hand, and know the incredible pain, agony and hurt that is created by that act. Something you never forget and can describe in detail because of the physical and emotional imprint it leaves on you.

Well, to show you how incredible this journey can become, spirit came to me one night and showed me just what it was that I needed to understand as part of my sojourn on this lovely blue planet so that I can express it here and give you some understanding and idea of just what it is we are here for. Now again, I say that this is my journey, but having said that we can all go on a trip to the city or into the country but some will walk, some will take a bus or train and some will even go in a Lamborghini. The whole purpose is to realise what it means to you in doing this trip. I might not even like Lamborghini’s, but I’d love to go for a trip in one though! Just for that experience. Anyway, this is always about you and what you want to understand and feel that this journey does for you.

Now the following is an account of that incredible experience I had during that night, that brought together quite a few of the subjects that I have been writing about. I had been speaking to several friends about the subject of mortality because of the situation I now find myself in. I had been diagnosed with emphysema at the grand young age of 54 (take note of my smoking for 18 yrs, from 18 to 36yrs old, and working within a coal dust environment for the same period, give it up guys!), and was beginning to realise that this had taken place quite quickly. I had only noticed how serious it was over the last 3 years as I was getting quite short of breath and just thought my studies and writing at a computer was generating a lack of exercise and the relevant lack of fitness. So I now found myself realising that this isn’t what I really wanted out of life, I wanted more time, more quality of giving to life’s better things. What are those better things? I soon realised that when your mortality begins to knock on your door, those things I spoke of before, as in wanting to do things that didn’t seem important, and letting go of things that were important at the time, that no longer seemed important anymore, you begin to see your entire journey from a very different perspective. It lets you look back and understand where you have come from, what you have achieved within yourself, and then adjust accordingly to where your heart wants you to go. To give meaning to your journey and give a truth to just what it is that you wish to become within you.

Now at this point of time I had not had much sleep for three consecutive nights so was quite tired so I fell asleep quite quickly and solidly, but at about 4am spirit brought me up to ‘our’ conversation depth (explained in ‘The Dreaming’), and began to show me an understanding that quite literally took my breath away with it’s incredible inclusion of most of what I’ve written about before under the menu headings, and of how this all fits together. Spirit then also showed me something that left me so totally speechless that when I became aware enough to reach over and record this I actually turned the recorder on and just sat there with my mouth wide open and could not utter a thing. It was so profound that all I could feel was this total elation of understanding, grinning from ear to ear with tears running down my face. And after what seemed like ages I started to speak in a totally awed and quiet voice this vision that spirit had given me as an understanding of this journey that we all take, to find us, to create that beautiful creature that is inside each and every one of us, to finally reach that part we all yearn for and become…an enlightened being!

And this is how it works. All of our lives we have lots of fears that we create, cope with and adapt to within our day to day living. These fears are usually quite strong so they seriously affect what we do and so determine our journey by how much power we give those fears. When we go through a fear the huge release that is generated by this action allows the release of walls we have built, physically in the body as well as emotionally, and opens us up quite strongly to a physical release of endorphins etc and an emotional release by crying or screaming out in joy because you have come through such an amazing experience. This is an ‘enlightenment’, an understanding of what went before, what was endured and what you now feel afterwards. I don’t mean we are now ‘enlightened’, what is referred to as someone who has evolved to such a point that they no longer need the physical journey we are now on. But, I do mean it is an ‘enlightenment’ because it creates an understanding for that particular part of what you needed to understand in this part of your journey.

Now as we cover all these fears within our lives we become more ‘enlightened’ on our path to such a point that your ‘wisdom’ and ‘understanding’ has reached a place that allows you to impart this wisdom to those around you just by being who you now are. Those fears include all those things in our lives like The Love, The Reverse, The Truth so they are integrated into just who you are. You have reached a point that you are more comfortable in who you are, what has meaning for you and you integrate that meaning into your daily life. There’s just one more to go, the one thing that we joke about, avoid, deny, won’t talk about unless we have to, and that is our death. We say and give our condolence’s to friends and family and go through some of the most horrendous times in our lives due to the loss of those family and friends and this gets us the closest to it, but we still do not want to dwell on it in any way. And this is very understandable, who wants to die? Who wants this life to end, and more to the point….what ‘IS THERE’ when we finally let go of this path that we are now on?

I’m now going to put into words something that I find difficult to say in the least. I saw what spirit showed me, I understood what spirit showed me and most certainly felt what spirit showed me. But after all that…the experience left me in such an uplifted state of wonder that I feel I may belittle it for my lack of words or description. It’s like a beautiful sunset. You can say it was beautiful, wonderful and an amazing splendour…but when asked to describe it you say…well, it had oranges and purples and a blue background behind it with a yellow sun….and it just doesn’t do it justice in any way. So…here is my understanding of something that we all will one day touch, feel and understand so as to become that which we all wish to become. That ‘Enlightened’ being that has reached its nadir, its peak, it’s understanding of self.

So spirit says ‘You’re going to die!’. Now if you have read my story under The Love you’ll understand my reply of ‘Speak to the hand!’. And to top that off I already had the understanding that spirit had showed me (in November 2010), that I was going to die when I was 60 years old. At the time I was in the most incredible place of falling in love with the most wonderful woman in the world. I could have moved mountains, smiling like an idiot and loving every moment. And out of the blue one night spirit bobbed up and told me that I was going to die at 60 yrs old. Unusual because I always get a panoramic understanding of anything I get from spirit, a total data set that explains the what, why, where etc. But in this instance it was so abrupt and singular that it left a huge imprint on me by the fact that it was so direct and to the point. Now I know why. I needed to be in that space so that I could understand my journey, my mortality and be able to express this here, and now give this understanding for all that read this and take this journey as well.

Well, spirit thankfully thinks differently to me and with the most loving kindness, gently showed me my journey, how I was going to get there and the reason why I would experience this part of my life. After many, many years of dealing with my lower emotions of anger, hate, fear and balancing them with the happiness, love, and truth using The Reverse, The Heart, The Love, The Dreaming etc as my guide to understanding, and in that understanding releasing those fears that guided my life on an everyday basis, it was time for spirit to show me the final act. The one thing that must be faced that we obstinately refuse to touch, and for a very good reason. As I have said before, we only ever learn something when it has a big impact on our lives, affects us in such a way that we cannot but help to learn something from it, and because of that learn the wisdom that is a part of that lesson. Well this is no different. If it was easy, every time we hit a brick wall of pain, hurt and a loveless time in our lives we would just end it all…and miss the one thing that all this is trying to give us, that understanding, the wisdom, so that we can find the ‘enlightened’ and beautiful creature within that we are trying to become. And as life goes on after each of these hard times in our lives we begin to accept that this is an important part of our journey.

It is a very abrupt, to the point, in your face, meeting with death. You begin to realise that this is it, no turning back or maybe tomorrow is a better day. You have to finally stare it in the face. And it was then that I realised something, while I was seeing this ending, this last act….I was going over many, many things that I had said, did, felt and done with many people in my life, I was…letting them all go…releasing all that had gone before…understood that what I had given was the best I could do and accepting of that…and then another understanding came with that…this was in fact a grieving of that life…something that we never seemed to allow ourselves because society says ‘get up, keep going, be strong’. Which is fine for the support that we desperately need at those times in our lives…but do we truly grieve properly…let go of all those hurts and pain that are a part of this time in our lives…that release and acceptance of what we felt for the loss of that partner, friend or family that we were so close to. But in this instance it is the loss of ourselves…the releasing and letting go of who and what we are…that final thing because there IS nothing else…there is no life to turn back to…no getting on with our lives…trying to pull everything back together and begin again…it is the last let go…total and utter release…and just be.

Going into that grief is to totally let everything go. No hanging on to something to support us. The whole idea at the end is to ‘let go’, ‘release all’ to accept and allow self to come through. It’s a total embracing of death that allows the transition. It is giving to self ‘unconditionally’ and accept who and what you truly are within. The relief is incredible. It’s like the release of the entire worlds troubles and the acceptance of unconditional love all at once. It is very difficult to put this into enough words that it can be understood and embraced for all the different things that it means all at once. Like being in a fairground with so many colours, actions, voices and people all around. It gives such an incredible feeling of wonder, excitement and happiness from all that is around you, that you don’t need to understand it, it just is, and you accept it for what it is. Now, truthfully, that description of a fairground is not close, that is just an idea that may give you an understanding of what I’m trying to explain. When all is said and done, it is just ‘total perfection’. I think even a diamond has its flaws, but not this, this IS a total knowing and feeling of the love and beauty of this wonderful universe that we are a part of…eternally!

And this led to another realisation…spirit on its own cannot touch, feel or sense as is done from within this physical body…it is a total, unique sensation and understanding in its own right. It is a never before taken pathway to be shown and given wisdom for the understanding of unconditional love. It is then that I also realise that the actual journey within this body that we do here on this physical plane on Earth, is such an incredible blessing, to be part of such a beautiful creation to enable us to reach such a point within so that we may be complete. It’s a path that can be so painful, so lovely, so at odds from one moment to the next, that when it is that final time, that last step on your journey to finish who you are, and what you have become, the awareness and beauty that is finally understood, gives such an indescribable joy within as you realise it is all totally there in utter perfection for exactly who you are so that you may understand it and know it’s purpose. Regardless of all the mistakes, problems and horrible times that we have endured it is exactly what we needed to do, so that we can find and understand just who we are within.

It was then that I felt it…I’m wishing to cry at this very moment because of the beauty and love of what this moment means…the understanding of all that went before, the feeling of completeness, the truth of accepting the love that was integrated in all that I had done, the knowing that I can now let go, I am realising that it’s over. I’m coming back to who I really am. Returning to that instance of total and unconditional love. Truly a total acceptance of just being as one again. And as I let go and accept, I feel a release of my body, but there is no fear, no worry of ‘what if’, it’s a complete release of that Lamborghini that has seen me out for many, many years and release it with love as part of who I once was. I am now ‘coming home!’. Coming home to what I’ve always been and now realise, I am. The journey before is now the thing that is ‘not real’. Totally understood but now realised within to be an incredible experience and to add to something that is a completion of who I am. The love that is a part of us always, no matter where we are!

To finally understand this journey, that process of life and the many amazing things that we do within that life, I can now look back and truthfully see, feel and understand it’s purpose. All those things that we toss away in frustration, yell at in anger and even those moments where we really lose it and do some of those things that we totally regret forever are here for a reason. They show you….you! It makes you look inside and talk to yourself over and over and over. Trying to understand why, how you can change it and most importantly give you understanding as to whether you want to be like that or create something better that you do want to be. It’s a long slow process, even though sometimes you want to get off this crazy ride. But in hindsight you will realise that you are probably glad that it did take it’s time and you were able to really gain the understanding and wisdom that is needed for that journey. All of the things that spirit showed me were for my benefit, but for me to understand I needed to go through and feel each and every part so that I may fully understand it all. From the ‘dark night of the soul’ to truly look within after a horrendous part of my life, to understanding myself within so I could partake of life again, then give from each understanding I made as it was integrated into who I was. Each and every aspect I was given changed everything. Allowed me to drop more and more fears so that I could be who I truly am, and more importantly have the understanding that it all comes back to that one thing that everything is a part of…unconditional love! When you finally understand it, it’s meaning, it’s place and it’s part of creating everything by being a total process. The up’s, the down’s, the hate and the love, you then understand it IS a total part of everything. You cannot have one without the other. It is an incredible perfection that allows us all, with all our so called imperfections, to be totally loved and included individually within this beautiful place, and be helped and guided to reach that wisdom and the total love that is there for all.

Just remember, this creation we are a part of, this body that is helping you on your journey, your spirit within that whispers to your heart, is all here for you. It is your time, your creating expression from what you have learned and understood, and your building of that beautiful creature within so that you may reach that place that we all yearn for while on this journey down here. That place of total and unconditional love where all is in place within, the final and total acceptance and love of ourselves, makes us the perfect creation we are meant to be. And finally reach that place, that yearning to connect, and be a part of all that is.

Part 2.

The above post is everything that I was shown on that journey with spirit…bar one other ‘small’ event that has taken me some time to digest, simply because it is something I have never seen before. And I will be the first to admit that it rocked me, simply because this life teaches a very high understanding of our journey, but as for death, very little. And maybe it is for me to understand for MY journey. Like what I have written above, you may ‘see’ much within it or only confirm what is already known for yourself. Most information can be felt by the truth it portrays within you. You can ‘feel’ a truth by simply in how it makes you feel within. When you sit and speak your heart, totally open, to another, it is a very peaceful, releasing and positive feeling for you. If it is not a truth, it is felt as a binding, uncomfortable and negative experience.

WARNING: Please read all of this section in total or it can be taken out of context. Within your spiritual or soul form you are totally ‘aware’ of everything all at once. There are NO confusing ‘what if’s’ or ‘maybe’s’ or any hesitation whatsoever. You just are. I’m trying to explain something that is a very small fraction of what I felt as part of that whole. As I spoke above of that ‘fairground’ feeling with so much happening around you all at once, it is a million times more complex….but so very much simpler within that state.

Death continued….

So there I was…taking in such an enormity but total understanding of that process of letting go, transferring from that human relating of life to what I really am within, that all knowing, beautiful and peaceful soul that is my normal state. I was in such a loving place that I felt complete, I was home. And in that split second of letting go to start moving towards ‘whatever’ was next…I’ll never know…until I do actually die. Spirit had blocked any further understanding from that point. But in that split second before then, I had seen and felt an incredible understanding that shocked me, and I think that is what had broken my connection with spirit at that point, purposely, so that I could understand what I had been shown.

What I had been shown up to that point is all that mattered for now, it is all that I needed to understand and relate to for where my journey has been going. That split second held a wealth of information and it has taken me over two years to digest and come to terms with what had been shown. And not because of what I was actually shown, as it was a very small piece of that event, but by what it meant to me back down here. (By the way, my references to ‘up there’ or ‘down here’ is just for ease of understanding).

I saw and felt the Earth (down there), but it was disappearing very quickly…but that wasn’t what rocked me…it was the feelings and thoughts that went with it. All I could sense at that time was…it is done…let it go, release it…it has served its purpose. Even the people that I loved and held so close…no longer mattered. I was shocked by my off handed manner. My journey had been completed and so what went before was now irrelevant. There was no longer anything to worry about, I had done what my soul needed to do. Now remember that this is instantaneous, everything is just ‘done’…if I thought I knew what living in the ‘now’ was, I really didn’t have a clue till I felt all of this…it just ‘was’. I’m trying to explain something so that you can understand what I was trying to come to grips with. And it was shown to me this way so I could understand it ‘up there’, and then relate it ‘down here’

Now, if you thought the above was in your face, that’s understandable. So this next bit I’m going to try to explain it in my way the best I can so that you can ‘see’ something and allow you to relate to it properly.

The above didn’t matter to me for a very simple reason…I ‘knew’ that I would see them all again. I didn’t need to think about them in any way quite simply because I didn’t need to worry about it. There were no thoughts of ‘what if’, ‘when’, ‘how’, ‘why’ etc. Remember, the soul is instant, that ‘knowing’ is all. We are only slowed down on Earth to absorb what we are experiencing in human form. Up here it just ‘is’. Now please, do not think that our loved ones are not within our soul/spirits thoughts…with great love they are FULLY aware of our journey back down here and what we are experiencing so that we will be complete in our understanding. I’m only relating this tiny piece for the simple reason that it has great meaning for us to realise ‘some’ of what is happening ‘up here’.

To give this more understanding, let me explain it this way. Let’s say that you are spending time with a friend, you’ve met them at your rendezvous, spent a good time together and you now decide to go to your place for a cup of coffee. Your friend says ‘I’m just going by my house so I can pick some flowers, I’ll meet you at your place in 20 minutes’. You go home and prepare the coffee. In that 20 minutes you do not give your friend a second thought. You have no reason to think anything about them, to worry or even think that they wouldn’t be turning up.
WHY….because there is no need to give it any thought….just as your soul/spirit is doing ‘up there’. They KNOW you will be together again, there is no reason to even think otherwise, it is a ‘known’ quantity. The time between when they have passed over and left the Earth, and when you will be together again, is but a moment.

And I think the reason it has taken me so long to digest all of this, and put into words, is because I have never looked at it in this way. Down here is a whirlwind of ‘what if’s’ of what is ‘up there’. A lifetime of not knowing, and to be truthful because of that, not wanting to look at it. Suddenly I’ve been shown something that really does affect a lifetime’s way of being.

So, what DOES this mean for us ‘down here’? Everything! It allows us to release a fear, you know, one of those things than we drag around all over. Those things that test us in so many ways so that we can go through them and find that love that is inside us all. This journey has so much beauty within it, even though those tough moments really test us to such a degree. I have seen something that has given me such a relief, release and such a greater outlook on life. It is a game changer in everything that I do BECAUSE of that understanding about death.

For most of us we have touched death in varied ways. Acquaintances, friends and those very heartfelt connections of our loved ones that have passed over. The grief is one thing that holds us so tightly because of the loss of that loved one and the beauty that was shared, within that loss. But grief has a huge purpose, it allows us to see and feel something that is built on a love like no other. It also allows us, by that loss and pain, to look within and find another love, one built on the empathy that comes from going through such a time, a healing love that leads to that love within.

I have written this above to give an understanding so that our journey may be a little less fear and pain, and a little more healing love inside so that our paths in that awareness will be built on a stronger love and empathy, and a knowledge that what is waiting, is a beauty beyond anything I could describe. We will miss those that we love, but we will also be with them again…the flowers they are picking as they drop in home…will be a love and beauty like no other.

Ask anyone who is in their sunset years knows how fast time really goes down here, it is much faster than we give it credit, and we can see that as we get older. It is a very short time, and within it is crammed a huge amount of beauty, all so we can find ourselves, that unconditional love that is a part of us all. All too soon this magic is swapped for another (up there). But down here, this magic cannot be experienced up there, that is why we are here. This is ‘our time’ to find that beauty within, not to be experienced in this way ever again. Our journey has great meaning for us all…and then we too will be sharing those beautiful flowers with those we love again.

Namaste

The Force!

By Mark Lanesbury

On January 14, 2016

In The Journey

May the Force be with you…and it always is…calling, calling, calling!

Many times in our lives it will knock, just a light brush to see if your ready yet. Those odd moments when it makes us sit back and digest this occurrence because it is an event that doesn’t gel with our ‘logic’ and ‘science’ that this world teaches.

It will be just enough to ask that question…is it true? Was I imagining it? And our awareness has now been nudged.

We will let it go…but with an ear cocked in case it flirts with us again.

And it will…because we want it too. By being aware we have told the universe we want to understand this ‘thing’, see what it means to us and how it will affect our lives.

And after each time it knocks on our door, we gradually build a belief…yes, we begin to believe because it has done that magical thing that even in this world tells us it’s true….it happens more than once, even twice or three times…but by then we ‘know’…and the ‘knowing’ within begins.

And it will be exactly what is needed so that YOU can see it in action within your life. You begin to understand that it has laws, just like this world (‘as above, so below’). And the more you walk in your truth, integrity and love, the more you attract those things that you have always hoped for in you’re life. Because this world is full of its reverse, the hate, anger and fear.

This world will test you in every way it can…so that now that this understanding of another world has been shown to you, you will slowly see the wisdom of that journey, and realise that to have that happiness in your life that we all so earnestly seek, you can now trust what you have now been shown within.

All it takes is that first step…you know, the one that says ‘no’ to the infidelities of this world, the one that finally shows that you are now going to be loving to yourself by standing in that truth and integrity, and no longer stand in the fears of this world and say ‘yes’ to everyone else but yourself.

Each time you go to do something that you are not comfortable with you will know you are not standing in your truth. And I don’t mean using it as an excuse to not do something, it is the integrity that your heart also shows you each time in any circumstance. By standing in that truth and follow what you know within is the right thing, you also begin to attract that beauty back into your life.

And it is all being done with love, because by standing in that truth within you ARE giving that love to you, and that is what you will now give back out, and attract accordingly. It is as natural as the air you breathe in and out every day. It is a balance like no other, and you have total control of the entire journey.

Take a step….I dare you 😀

Loving Ourselves!

By Mark Lanesbury

On December 30, 2015

In The Journey

Loving ourselves (unconditional), is our natural state, it is only the fears and walls that we build that block it. And as each fear or wall is removed we begin to ‘feel’ on a much different level.

It becomes easier and easier to understand and have much empathy for another, because of the love we actually give ourselves BECAUSE we have looked into those fears, had the courage to face them, and once understood we release them, they no longer hold us in the patterns that we give them.

Most people do not understand what it means to love ourselves. When we love another it is built with so many expectations (and I might add, a needed lesson like any other), because we look for beauty, attitudes, strength, and those other things like money, security etc. But when we give love to ourselves….there is no expectation, it is an unconditional love.

We don’t first look for something so that it is accepted when we face our fears, there are no conditions when we finally gain the courage to look within, see our pain for what it is, and finally understand what had kept our walls in place and then by removing them in that understanding, give that love to ourselves within that healing.

We remove the duality of feeling a low sense of self worth (by isolating ourselves by building walls to keep it at bay), and finally accept ourselves for exactly who we are. That is unconditional love, and not an expectation within miles.

Once we give ourselves that unconditional love, we then give from that place. It isn’t until we love ourselves that we truly can love another, with no expectations.

The following is a very profound and beautiful verse that a lovely lady (Christy) shared with me as a guest post on Michelle’s Lipstick and Laundry blog:

The Uses of Sorrow

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.

(by Mary Oliver, from Thirst, Beacon Press, Boston, 2006)

And yes, that box full of darkness has great meaning. We cannot know that unconditional love until we know conditional love, it has great purpose.

Be brave, be strong and believe in you…for through that darkness is a beauty beyond measure. It is the truth of what you really are.

Namaste

I’m Ok!

By Mark Lanesbury

On November 19, 2015

In The Journey

But if ok is enough, then you would never appreciate the discovery of that love within. It all leads back inside to finding your truth, that understanding that all your ‘looking’ for something out there, is really back inside your heart. And the only thing that is blocking it, is the fear to look within, that self doubt that we all have from years of having it drummed in that we aren’t good enough, not loveable which builds a wall of self doubt.
Look within, search for that part that upsets you the most, a switch that gets thrown when someone treats you a certain way and upsets you to the core, even creating an anger that you always try to suppress. And we all avoid looking because of that fear, who wants to go into something that makes us feel that way.
But there is your journey, because when you finally really look deep into it and for the first time ‘see’ what has been driving it for all these years….you will finally UNDERSTAND it…and it will no longer hold that fear anymore because you now see why it has held you fast…and you let it go, your life will change to such a degree it will feel like you have been released from jail after 50 years, it is that profound.
You will be changed forever….AND you will feel more closer and loving to yourself because you now see what has kept you in this unloving place. And in that love, you will find that thing that we all search for….happiness.
We had not allowed ourselves to touch that place within through those beliefs of ourselves….now there is no wall to block the truth of what we really are within. The duality that we all must face, to find that unconditional love within us all, can now be felt, seen and released, and we begin to stand in that truth….and just be glad and smile in that knowing 🙂
That is our path in all that we do down here on this lovely big blue planet. It is to find ourselves in the millions of ways that it is possible as we trip, stumble and sway to the rhythms of life. It all points back to how we feel about ourselves and how we express that out into the world.
We all seek that happiness, that well of love that will lift us out of all that we go through and save us from the pain and hurt that this life brings. But within it are great wisdom’s to find that self truth. How can we know and appreciate love unless we are treated poorly….how can we find our compassion and empathy unless we have lost and suffered. All we go through cannot be understood until we actually go through and feel them, the good and the bad.
This journey is filled with great pain, but also tempered with great love so that we UNDERSTAND what it is when we finally step into that love of ourselves….that unconditional love of self. And it is all given with a great love so that we CAN see that journey.
We all know when a truth touches us inside….follow that path…for it is the path home, to that happiness we all seek within.

Self Love!

By Mark Lanesbury

On October 2, 2015

In The Journey

It takes a big event in our lives to reach that place within where we finally stop, and sometimes after a very long time of persevering with something…a marriage, relationships with friends or family, a personal situation or even at work, and come to that place where we can see that enough is enough.

It is a very pivotal moment. It draws the fears to the surface but now instead of recoiling and trying to shove it down so it can no longer be seen as we usually do, we finally reach a place that we no longer wish to fight this any more and so we step through it. And it will push buttons that you have never tested before, a strange world where you stand up inside and take those first tentative, wobbly steps to reclaim a sense of self and a realisation that ‘I am worth so much more than this’.

And finally, in that realisation you will achieve something that a lifetime had not. The ability to give within…to give that self love from a truthful place and realise you ARE worth so much more.

So starts the journey to stand in that truth and become what this path seeks, the creation of a love that builds an understanding of love inside, but all starting from a place of fear so that we can see and appreciate what it has taken to find that place within. Both have much purpose, as one cannot be achieved without the other. Hard yes, but if it was easy it would be forgotten in a moment.

That relationship you have persevered with has given you the one thing that you have been seeking all your life…to find that self love and the true happiness that it holds.

Lets say your going through a divorce. And your ex-partner was to find another partner who makes them feel all happy, alive and excited with life…inside they will still be seeking their self love in that need to be with another…based on their fears. That happiness they seek can only be found in that self realisation. If you have found the reason that drove your fears within that relationship, you can now release them but not through anger or hurt, but from a place of understanding as you will now realise ‘why’ you were attracted to that relationship. This will allow you to forgive them (and yourself), now in your self realisation of what you have now understood…as they may not have found the beauty of what you have now become, and still looking to fill the pain and loss in their hearts.

This may take several relationships to ‘see’ that you seem to be hitting the same snags in your relationships, going through the same patterns, but this has purpose so that you ‘can’ see what is holding you back, the fear that will be underneath all your actions and keep you travelling that journey. Until finally it all comes to the surface and it cannot be hidden any longer. This is your moment, your chance to release something that has held you forever in a half truth of life, a place that had happiness but always marred by this thing that would pounce to always let you know that it was still a part of who you are.

And as that uproar settles you are now free to truly look inside and understand that the more you act in that self love, and I mean that with integrity and not a selfish way, your life will now slowly find a happiness, a true happiness where you no longer seek another based on those earlier fears of ‘not being loved or insecurity’ because you have now found that within yourself, the entire purpose of your journey.

Self love is an ability to truly look inside and realise what those fears were, and see how they have driven your life in so many ways and held you in those patterns. To face them IS self love for you will give to yourself something worth more than any other thing in this world. It is a freedom that is unbelievable when you finally step past it and feel that freedom for the first time, and in doing so you realise just how constrained you have been in all of your life. That fear constantly held ‘out of sight, out of mind’, not realising just how conformed you have become to living with it riding on your shoulders.

And as time slowly goes by you become more relaxed, more ‘seeing’ the world from a whole new perspective as you are no longer ‘on guard’ for the fear that was always there as you went about your life. This freedom begins to rebuild what you ‘want’ to be, rather than feeling ‘forced’ to be something by the world around you. A happier place where even if anything comes up in your life, your ability to cope is more at ease, relaxed and understanding….because you have been there, have much wisdom because of that journey and can now help others from now being in that place…and glad to do so.

The anger and pain that usually comes with these events are a part of being able to ‘let go’ from the loss of the security and love that we feel we are losing. And usually because it feels like a total rejection of who and what we are, and a very painful experience that hurts because we feel so unloved…and that is the key…it is a fear that is built on our own self worth. Our own inability for self love. And this is built from childhood and the relationships we have with (usually), our parents and how they were able to express the love that THEY were shown by their parents….and on and on it goes. We are always trying to find what we feel we haven’t got. And we feel we haven’t got that love, and the happiness within that, so we try to find that love in others…but it is in our self love that the answer is hidden.

We have been through a childhood where we have felt either a rejection of love, a hurt or a denial by someone we loved and looked up to. And in that is built our self worth. Are we loveable or not? That self worth takes a battering at this time and we spend the rest of our lives trying to rebuilt that feeling of love and connection with another, to rebuilt that loss we hold forever in our hearts as a consequence of this hurt, and to find that happiness again that has so much meaning within it. But when each time we are with another and they do something that gives us that feeling of rejection again, it re-ignites that fear and we jump straight back behind those emotional walls to keep that pain out.

Holding onto the pain and fear will only hold us in that pattern. We must look within it to find why it makes us feel this way…deeper in your heart to find what you are afraid of, and seek its meaning. In that you disarm it, realise the truth behind your fear…AND LET IT GO.

In total truth the above journeys do have great meaning…those relationships that seem to be a horror at the time ARE done from a place of great love, so that we DO find that self love within. Those instances where the world seems to be crumbling around us DO allow us to eventually come to that place within, and in doing so we heal that hole that always seems to be in our lives, and completes us in such a way that we ‘let go’ and no longer hold onto so many things that in the end, have no meaning or worth and opens us back up to that love and eventually give back out what we have now become.

Because I have been on this journey from a healer’s perspective and actively searched for meaning within my journey, spirit has shown me a great deal of understanding as I step through my fears and see those fears within others. We all must go through them to find that self love within, and gradually we are shown where the love really is…inside us, not ‘out there’. And in that realisation we finally see that all the stress and pain in our lives are all built upon the foundation of our fears that we have held in place since childhood. It is our path…a painful one but with an outcome that will far outshine all that went before.

Some people come to us to teach us a lesson about ourselves. And this is the only way to find our truth, to look deep inside by going through a tremendous upheaval so that we can finally see the truth of what we are within and ‘know’ the love of ourselves. If we didn’t we would always be wandering around pointing the finger at the world for the pain that we are in. If you look around you will see this, but eventually they begin to realise that they are changing, and in that change they find a new heart, a new direction and a peace that goes with that understanding. There is a silver lining to all events, it is made that way even though at times it may not feel like it, and slowly we are guided to find that truth within.

This world has many things for us all…much beauty AND much fear, so that we can become what we all truly seek. It is a balance where we will attract exactly what we need to find that beautiful heart within and finally understand the love that we are.

Where is your heart now?

Look inside, find that self love…your happiness is there…that unconditional love that is who you are…you are so worth it!

The Walls of Jericho!

By Mark Lanesbury

On June 29, 2015

In The Journey

Yes, those walls of Jericho were an amazing sight to the enemies of those times. Never to be breached as they were so well built to only allow friendly passage and not those who were against what those within believed and lived. Well, until the spirit of God arrived within the Ark to bring it tumbling down.

A little like those walls we build within, to stop that invader that would dare attack us, try to invade OUR space and force their ways on us. And to test whether those walls are there for the right purpose. Enable those that think like us free access, and refuse entry to those that hurt us and cause pain.

And those invaders are there to do exactly that. They are showing you your fears and walls that we all build to protect ourselves, and they have great purpose.

As you test those walls you realise why they are there, and understand that they were your only way of protecting yourself from what you felt was a very hard, unloving and hurtful experience in your life, so you put up a wall so you no longer get hurt.

And that is usually done as a child when your coping strategies were very immature because you were so young, so a wall goes up because you know no other way to protect yourself, and you then begin to avoid those situations like the plague. But when you begin to realise why you put those walls up and you start to see those coping strategies for what they are and how they are blocking your life, you begin to understand how that blockage is affecting you. And in that understanding that comes from your spirit within, after many, many years, you finally release something that feels like the weight of the world (and to you, it is), has finally been lifted and everything from that moment on changes forever. The change is so huge that you feel a little lost in the beginning because you have never been in this place before. Your life has never had such freedom and an ability to stop and smell the roses….literally.

We don’t realise that this fear has been so integrated to our lives that we are always ‘on guard’ in everything we do…from when we get up of a morning, working, playing or even scratching our nose, it has always been a part of who you were.

Now you are free, and it can almost feel like you are in shock because of that release. But it will be like no shock you have ever felt before. And when reached, you slowly make choices for you for the first time…and not from a place of fear where you are always second guessing yourself so that you don’t have to face that fear. It is a magical place that freedom, as it gives you unfettered access to that beautiful thing inside your heart….you…the true you, that has wanted to escape to a happier place forever. And now you are finally there.

As you release that fear you are no longer giving from a place of fear. We actually project those fears out from us everyday.

As an example, and this is me personally, I always gave to a lady with everything that I was….I would take them out, give them flowers, be courteous by pulling chairs out for them to sit etc. I would smother them in love….but that was the problem, after a while they would hold their hands up and say ‘whoa, that’s lovely but please just slow down a bit’. And I would be all offended, thinking I was being rejected for giving that love. I would point the finger and say ‘it is their fault, how could they possibly not want to be loved’. And because all my relationships ended like this I would always think that they had been hurt by some other man and found it hard to accept that love from some one. Any excuse in fact, bar the one that mattered.
Because I felt rejected from my parents as a child, and felt that total fear of being unloved by the very people that I looked up to and loved, I would bury my loves, with love, so that I WOULDN’T BE REJECTED.

And there lies the rub of my journey. I projected my fear onto all those that I loved. I wanted to be loved so badly, and not be rejected, that I led with my fear.
It is such a subtle thing these fears, and we do the most incredible things to not go through them, not realising that they are there for all to see…AND that they actually attract exactly what we need to go through them. How many fears have you avoided? None, zip, nada!

With great love the universe wants you to understand…you. And within that understanding come back to your truth. Not a wobbly version that is trying to avoid the pain that is carried within your heart for what seems like forever. But the real you within that is a very beautiful and loving person entirely. And as you break free and release that fear, and those negative feelings about yourself that go with it, you finally find that thing that you have always been looking for. That journey of seeking to find that ‘happiness’ somewhere and finally be at peace.

And it can be found…where it has always been, but hidden behind a wall of fear. That fear has great purpose, for it has led you to find this place…and finally understand, and appreciate the beauty that is within each and every one of us BECAUSE of what we have been through.

You are a beautiful soul…something that shines out forever. Believe in that, for at each turn in life a little more is set free and you begin to shine a little brighter each time to stand in your truth and release what you know is no longer you…and be that love that is always there.

Your walls of Jericho will crumble at a shout from you, and a determination within to seek the fear that holds those walls up. They will crumble in an instant when you find that truth that is you…and release you from their bondage forever, to finally be set free.

Curtain Call!

By Mark Lanesbury

On June 24, 2015

In The Journey

I have just read a great piece, En garde by candidkay, about our journey through our relationships and the choices we make in trying to come to terms with the decisions we have made in our life. Stay or not stay, go and live in the unknown or stay and put up with…um, something that is not so bad…I think.

These can be one of the most difficult things to admit to…let alone face. And even if we do the dreaded question comes up about our self worth. ‘Can I do this’ and ‘maybe I deserve this’ and our fears running backwards and forwards arguing relentlessly for a reprieve.

But it is part of the magic, to realise ourselves and begin that trek one step at a time to find that beauty that is inside us all. Bring out that confidence that IS in there, but only seems to peek from behind the curtain occasionally.

It is in finding that truth within that finally brings forth a new found confidence, and more than that, a beginning of understanding that in doing so you are starting a love affair with the one person in the world that means the most. You!

When you finally understand that, you begin to build within that confidence and courage because you are worth all that, and more. And as you step into that truth within, you begin to give out that confidence and love that you are beginning to build…AND…begin to attract that same energy because that is how it all works.

Give with an integrity and truth and that is what you attract right back.

The universe, in this, can be seen in its workings by what you are attracting. With great love it gives you exactly what is needed so that you may go past your fears and that unloving that you give yourself, until eventually you begin to see the journey IS all about you, and what you require to find that beauty within.

Once that understanding is reached everything begins to change, you realise self is very important in your journey and slowly you begin a path that will be outside what the world thinks is normal, but inside you will see and feel the change and the truth of what you have been through and what you now wish to become.

And the smiles begin, because you have seen and felt what it took to get here…and your self worth is slowly taking this worlds last curtain call for the last time, and beginning a new call for you.
Mark

Where is your love!

By Mark Lanesbury

On June 13, 2015

In The Journey

Giving love to another will touch that person within, and change them.
Who will then touch another, and change them also.
And as this change goes on and on, eventually this change will come full circle and be expressed as love back to you…but changed in its journey by the love expressed differently by each individual.
Each individual helping another in their journey, loving in their own unique way.
Graduating in its wisdom by the many emotional ways of pain, anger, fear, gratitude, faith and love that is experienced in all walks of life.
To eventually reach that beauty of unconditional love, that place within when all is finally completed.
No more karma, experiences or lessons needed….perfection within itself.

For each and every heartfelt motion given from within, is for you, even though it is given to another. And in its perfection, when giving love to another, it raises you even closer to that love within, opens your heart from the fears and blockages of life, and with a glow unmatched by anything else in this world, brings out much that is hidden….your truth within. Those things that you only ever say to one that you love and respect, to let them feel that truth within that is the true you, so that they may feel the beauty that is inside, and know that it is with great love that you are sharing something so deep within.

It is a connection that we all yearn for, a connection that only occurs a few times in our lives but drives us ever onward to find that thing within that always seems to elude us. But it is only when we can remove those walls of life around our hearts that we can finally see the truth that has been within us all the time. It is a needed journey, so that we can appreciate what is really there, a journey to understand what that love really means, and bring us to that final acceptance of self.

When understood, this is the perfection of love, all else is but a guide.

Where is your love for self?

This came to me after reading a quote from the lovely lady from Soul Gatherings. Thank you Theresa!

Spirit in the Sky

By Mark Lanesbury

On June 6, 2015

In The Journey

To a beautiful lady with the heart of a healer.
I was blessed with the sharing of Ali’s life and being shown a truth that was her journey.
In memory of one of God’s healers, and nature’s gladiators.

Spirit in the Sky

She invited me to see, to share that love within

Showed me her beauty, the further I walked in

The caring of all creatures, whether human or of fur

She would not go past, test the meaning that was her

Seen the laughter and the fun, each invitation that was made

Making sure our comfort, blessing us with her shade

And even in that care, an occasional tear would spill

To show the world that empathy, a climb to take that hill

And along that sacred journey, to find what it meant

A glow began to form, a love heaven sent

As slowly she did find, a heart that could heal

Giving to another, a love that they feel

And the light she did shine, given with a care

Always with a smile, an understanding she did share

For all along this path, as her truth did fly

Ali had now found, that spirit in the sky

Always near as her love is a part of who we are.

Mark

The Safety of Awareness

By Mark Lanesbury

On May 22, 2015

In The Journey

Such a beautiful world. So balanced in all its ways. Yes, even the mistakes have purpose, for now we swear upon our hearts that we will never do it again, like so many other things in our lives. But we do….why?

It seems we have this insatiable need to have control of our lives, be in a place where we can handle most of what is thrown at us. And that ‘security’ is the basis of how we can face the world, even though we still find that many things throw us off balance. And we react to those things because they are the core issues of what we are afraid of, even if we don’t see them clearly all the time.

We spend so much time hiding in fear from the bully up the street, building and building this 30 foot monster until the very thought of going out the front door is abhorrent. But the bully is still the kid up the street that only knows that control of his life by what he thinks is ‘his’ safety. And probably totally forgotten about you unless you happen to be his current weaker opponent to make him feel better about himself.

And as our lives go on we build these safety places, places where we feel in control….falling in love, marriage, a home and even some ‘munchkins’ to build that inner peace (ok, the kids may be pushing that a bit 🙂 ).

But in amongst this we get tested. A button pushed here and there, just so we can feel the other side, see where we are not feeling that safety we are trying to build. In general we go through it and feel relieved that we have passed through this and can move on.

But sometimes we really get something prodded so that we are losing that safety zone. Something won’t let go and reaches a point where we have no choice but to face it and go through, what we feel, is one of the most stressful times of our lives. A life issue…divorce, break ups, a death and even a job loss can take us down this path…because they all point to that one thing inside us all that we all avoid as much as possible…that negativity, our sense of worth in whatever form it takes, about ourselves that has been hammered home all our lives by, originally, those we love, but kept alive by those we attract to us.

Attract I say…yes…how many people have you pointed at and said, “she/he is doing it again”, “they never learn”, “I can’t believe this”, about someone else who is going through, for the tenth time, something that you can see is not right and know the outcome because you have been there. But that is the whole point, it is now no longer your fear, it doesn’t have that fearful hold on you any longer because you have gone through it (or never did because you had no fear of it).

But again, that is the entire point. Each and every time you understand that ‘knowing’ inside because you have felt that pain, that terror of going through something that has tested you beyond what you think you could handle, has raised your awareness, given you the wisdom to see and understand that what was underneath was something that you alone had built to protect yourself, but in truth blocked you from seeing the truth inside. The understanding after you go through this is huge.

And it has been given to you in this way for one reason only…to show you the beauty that is you. Underneath all the uproar and that feeling of, “I can’t do this”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m going to lose it”, you show the strength that is really inside and you DO go through it, and finally see the truth of what you are inside…and you begin to stand in that awareness. You reach a point of, “I’m not doing this any more”, “I’m worth more than this”, “I deserve more than this”, and you slowly begin to break free.

Yes, it does take time, but that time is needed so that this very situation retests you, and each time you reinforce those words of worth and deserving a little more. Always more tears and even anger. But this anger is because your heart is asking you step past what you thought WAS your safety zone. That place that kept you in control of where you were at. But it was removed and the change was a serious asking of yourself to step out of that safety and move into a scary and strange world, one where you have never been before. And you will even find that you hold on desperately to this situation as it crumbles around you, out of the fear of losing that safety. Especially if it is a love for another.

Those people we give our hearts to are the one safety anchor in our lives that we think we can rely on forever. But it is also the one place that tears our hearts out. And it must or we will never step through those fears in our lives. We will use our love as a shield, to not see something within ourselves we don’t wish to, or even distract us so that we think everything is ok. But it is the power of that love that will take us on that journey within. It eventually makes us see that place we have avoided and suddenly our safe place is gone.

It is a tough journey, but it must be or we would never face what is buried inside. And after all is said and done, we do begin to love ourselves because of it. We are more deserving, we are worth so much more, and this event will bring this realisation and bring us closer to that heart within. Even the anger of being hurt and what we feel by being treated so poorly by those we loved will slowly subside as we realise that we are in a better place, much wiser, much more loving, because we have loved ourselves more and no longer need our love as a shield to protect us.

Our love for self is enough, we no longer need to rely on another’s love to be safe. And that understanding then allows us to give from that place of self love…and attract the same. We no longer ‘need’ to be in a relationship. We begin to understand that by loving ourselves we naturally give that love out. If we are angry, fearful or unhappy…that is what we give out and attract to us. When we love ourselves truly, go past our fears, we then give from an unconditional place, and attract that unconditional love….and no longer attract a situation where it asks us to go through something within.

And as that awareness grows, the more shadows in your life you go through and the more light you let in, the more that unconditional love shines out!

May your heart find that awareness.

Mark

First Love!

By Mark Lanesbury

On March 13, 2015

In The Journey

I was just minding my own business, I think
Not concentrating on anything in particular
One of those idle moments when you’re just absorbed in yourself
Off guard, defence’s down, not expecting…anything
And I think that is the secret to this time
The shock of so many things coming together
All in a heartbeat, the twinkle of an eye
The possibility, synchronicities…even the sheer magnitude
Of something coming together in the universe of this scope
Is un-bloody-believable
But there she stood, not spoken or even moved
Just the sheer energy that she gave out left me speechless
Mind you, that is a miracle in itself
And then, as if she knew what was in my DNA, she smiled
I was lost until then, but now really entered somewhere untouched
Thoughts that hadn’t been engaged for…what seemed like ever
Scrambled to make sense of what that smile did within
And then I couldn’t help myself, I smiled back
It felt strange…those particular muscles also haven’t been used forever
But I didn’t care, I felt nothing but the sparkle in her eye
And then she was gone, leaving me gasping for air
Mind altered, perceptions in affray, dopamine charged to high
I was lost again, but this was so much deeper, I almost cried out
But she then returned, and this time she opened her heart and spoke
“Hi!” and smiled THAT smile again
I said, “Hello!” and her smile got brighter
And I knew right then, she was the one, without her I would die.

Note*
I saw some magic in another’s eye, brought back memories.
Thankfully much wisdom has been gained for a more true love by being loving to myself, and then give from there.
And they are all First Love’s as we are always in a more wiser and loving place each time we step past those fears and open our hearts again.
Am I ready? 🙂

Emotional Intimacy!

By Mark Lanesbury

On March 5, 2015

In The Journey

Ok, I’m now going to explain to you something that we all tend to unintentionally avoid. A little thing you can do to change that ‘who you are within’, and create a space that in most peoples lives has been missing due to the rush, rush of life. Or as most people come to realise, the person that they are with, or even themselves, have been raised in a way or been through something that takes this part of their lives away and is replaced with a wall to stop the fear or pain of being hurt or rejected. Or even do not understand its meaning due to never being shown how to express themselves in this way.

Now I’m going to ask you to do something very simple (and to those that know how to…ask yourself, ‘do you really’). I want you to steal 30 minutes from your hectic life, grab your partner and go lay down together (and I mean together, not you on the lounge and your partner on the floor, I want contact here) somewhere comfortable. Bed, lounge, hammock or just out on the grass somewhere (which is so much more grounding and will connect you much closer). And fully clothed thank you!!!

Now I want you to do the unthinkable…I want you to just hold and cuddle each other for 10 minutes and DO NOT talk (especially about any problems, the days uproar, the kids or the stock market). Talking does need to be done BEFORE you get to this position as it will remove any stress, tension or worry that is bothering you. Then you can lay down and not have this need to connect verbally, which is a bonding in itself, but I need your undivided attention on you and your partner and not a mind scrambling trying to sort out a problem.

At the 10 minute mark there should be this thing called ‘relaxation’. But more than that, you have now (and especially if you haven’t done this for a long time), just re-inserted yourselves into each others most intimate zone. (Yes, I probably could have worded that a little better). That connection is something that life tends to keep you ‘on guard’ for, and only a select few are allowed in that place. But life and it’s ‘zoom, zoom’ gradually distracts us and we seem to get further and further from that place that if you really think about it, is so much more inviting than the stress of everyday life. It’s a balance so that life isn’t all work and no play.

Now here is the hard bit. I want you both to touch each other. And NO, I don’t mean sexually! As a matter of fact I want you to be emotionally intimate, not physically. Just very gently, as the urge takes you, I want you to just lightly brush or touch your partners back or neck or hair or whatever you feel is that connection that shows your partner that you are enjoying the energy that is going on between you. Now here is the even harder bit. It can be a very fine line between gently touching someone to express how you are feeling…and not become aroused by the sensation that is developing between you. As a matter of fact it is a very fine line and normally it would be a way of really connecting from there to a very physical encounter which is also fine. But I want you to be strong and resist that temptation.

Over that 30 minute period you may start or stop that touching and go through different feelings and sensations as you hold one another. But at the end you will realise you have gone somewhere very different to what you are used to. Many of us start off this way but eventually reach that point of wanting to do the ‘tango’ and share something on a physical level. And that is fine. But this level of emotional intimacy is something that many of us can find to be quite difficult, due to our upbringing, life as we have experienced it or even many of those fears that won’t allow us to ‘open’ and share at this level. And especially the men. And that is not meant as an insult guys, we are generally brought up to be hard and ‘get on with life and don’t sweat the small stuff’, so that this level of intimacy is very foreign. Whereas the ladies are brought up much more emotionally connected and can express it a little easier.

And that is why we are physically intimate because we don’t know how to, or don’t want to become emotionally intimate. And I do think the ladies miss this type of connection guys. When they want to be cuddled, it is for this intimacy, not the grope, grope, c’mon let’s go into the bedroom. Trust me, if you build this type of trust it will change that connection for you both. You might be pleasantly surprised 🙂

Be gentle with whoever your partner may be as we all have ‘bits’ tucked away inside us and they can be a difficult thing to broach. Take it slowly and at the end you will realise that you have connected on a much stronger level with someone because you have established a very real trust because you have allowed someone into that personal zone and allowed them to see and feel the heart within. For many it isn’t easy because the one thing that this connection does is bring their hearts up to the surface, and in doing so may bring with it the many emotions that are kept close to their hearts on a day to day basis. It can sometimes bring tears…and fears, because with great love you have shown that trust. It is not something given lightly so be gentle with the emotions that are being shared. It can be hard to do, but remember, this is all about breaking down those walls and helping each other to share something that has great meaning to you both.

And even for those that are single, we all need to share our emotional intimacy with those that are special to us, whether they be friends, family or sometimes even strangers. To share our innermost feeling with someone is a healing within itself. It brings a closeness that our hearts need to share occasionally so that the power of those words can help us clear and know that another is connecting with us. And I have seen such beautiful heart connections with so many people and their pets. Now that is unconditional love. I defy one of us to express ourselves so fully with a sloppy grin and a tail that wags forever 🙂

The heart has great power, but it also is built from the most beautiful, gentle things in our life. From giving a flower with love, to the smile of another. All of it has great meaning and touches us all in such profound ways. We must return to that place within to keep our balance, emotionally and physically or we allow the things of this world to keep us away from what has true meaning in this life.

Enjoy that connection, that touch of life that brings a smile within, and you will see you and your partner (furry or otherwise), connecting on a whole new level. Namaste

The View From Within Here!

By Mark Lanesbury

On February 17, 2015

In The Journey

And then one day I saw it…and realised all our journeys have great purpose. I turned a corner and died to the things of man, but realised that those things are made of great beauty. The pain, the emotional turmoil that we endure, all take us to that one place we constantly search for in our hearts….unconditional love.

But it can only be found by being born into this world with all that it is, and finally see ourselves, our fear’s, our journey and the love that we understand as each mountain top is reached. We will always attract what is required for that understanding, and then one day we are there…and everything can be seen for the truth that it is…and our hearts open, totally, fully, and we then give from such a beautiful place.

I no longer see what is on the surface of things, because I now see below. I no longer judge another, as I now see purpose. And because of that understanding, I now stand in my truth and give from that place within…unconditionally…for I am no longer chained by the fears of this world!

We begin this journey totally open, innocent and ready for such an imprint from our surroundings. This time is a barrage of emotions and learning, the good and the bad, to create a journey that will test us so that we may find that balance that is in all things.

We see a life of struggle and pain over many years, and even those things that many think small, like a silly argument, build and create so that you may reach great understanding. Slowly and over a great time we poke and prod to see a way out of those things that keep us bound. And finally after much heartache and agony, a crack appears. But it’s like no other crack…each time you look through it all you can see is the fear you avoid, that one thing that you ignore, hide and never speak it out loud, lest it come to life. But the pain from your journey allows no other path, and in trepidation you finally can no longer stay in your circumstances any longer and take that dreaded step that you think will be the end of your sanity.

And at that moment your practically in shock. You’ve done the one thing that you thought you would never do. You burst into tears, scream and even fall into a heap. Your mind is going at a hundred miles an hour. But you’ve done it! You’ve gone through the one thing that you thought would never happen. And you realise…you didn’t die, you haven’t totally lost it (even though it feels very crazy still), and you suddenly understand…you’ve never been in this position before. You have always had that ‘fear’ leading you around in everything that you do. This is virgin territory, never before circumstances where now YOU are in control and not the fear.

And it does take time to get used to. That fear has been there most of your life, it was a part of who you were. Now you are free…released from its servitude and are able to take the reigns and steer whatever path you wish. That in itself can be a little disconcerting to start with, but don’t put expectations on yourself. Give yourself time to adjust to this new place within. And above all be gentle on yourself. That is a very long time to be in a jail from a fear you’ve held within.

Looking back we see those things we’ve been through, but they no longer hold us at bay. No longer constantly in our minds because we’ve stepped through the fear that they created and released us from it’s bondage. Wiser and with more love for ourselves because we now understand that we are worth so much more than those fears and have become more confident in ourselves because of that. This is our healing of that duality that separates us from within at birth, the spirit and the ego, and the journey to find that balance of the two. And we gradually understand ourselves each time we go through those upheavals in our lives, we’ve been through many years of the one side of that balance, it is now time to feel and understand the other and no longer be driven by the fears of the ego. And when we see others go through what we have now experienced, our compassion will arise because we know and understand their journey. We understand that pain and suffering and with great love will help another to find their heart within and see what you now see.

Each time we respect and love ourselves more and more as we go through these things. We realise those many things that initially gave us a feeling of not being good enough or belittled were not true. We ARE good enough, and more than that, we are loving ourselves because we now realise it has taken great courage and love to face this journey and accept just who we are within. Exactly for who we are, warts and all. What is on the outside, in truth, has no meaning at all. For what has been created in the heart…is everything. And everyone is going through their journey, in their own way, to realise that truth within, just as you did. Judgement of another is only built on our own fears. Once released they no longer drive us.

That freedom is the compassion we now use, and is the beginning of that unconditional love we all seek. It is in us all but blocked by our constant struggle by those fears that drive us. When released it allows that compassion to shine through, and as each of those fears are removed there is less and less holding you to this world…and more and more love being expressed by that freedom. And the spirit within starts to shine through, and you truly begin to see much purpose in this journey.

Then you too will understand, and be what you truly are within, that unconditional love that is inside us all!

Life!

By Mark Lanesbury

On February 3, 2015

In The Journey

I sing a song, a song of life,
a rhythm from deep within
Ancient for its energy,
a tale of where we’ve been
Even to this very day,
our journey has never changed
We seek to find our purpose,
to find what was arranged
And as the road of life,
that bouncing bumpy path
Looks to find our inner heart,
amongst the aftermath
But the wisdom of our truth,
those pearls of yesteryear
Are bound to our destiny,
all of which we share
So hold your strength,
and face this world of stress
For even amongst its scary ways,
is a magic we are blessed
And when we feel the time has come,
to bid this land goodbye
We transform into another,
to begin again on high.

Namaste

From Learner to Laughter!

By Mark Lanesbury

On November 29, 2014

In The Journey

Life is a constant struggle. Always trying to satisfy something that is walled behind many fears, and covered over with…well everything. That need within, wanting to be fulfilled so we look everywhere but refusing to look beneath it all, so filled with anything to cover its voice and keep us busy.

And in reality an important part of the journey, until we realise what really has meaning in our lives, and only then realised when we go through a very bad time or event so that we do look within, to finally find the thing that we were afraid to look at, understand it, and finally realise what had been holding us back. Living from a false place by avoiding those fears…and release those bindings of chains so that we are free.

Totally, fully free to now begin something that has meaning and worth, a realisation that we had in fact been false to ourselves, not coming from a place of love because we were afraid to find and look within for that truth.

The relief and understanding when found is incredible. Grown men and woman bursting into tears when they finally dare look within to that fear…and touch it. The understanding is a floodgate of relief and released with the dropping of those walls that had been holding back those tears forever. The relief within them is instant and so profound, even though they usually are going through a very hard time and still are very tired and drained from the struggle, is like a calm after the storm.

The change is so dramatic that it can be observed by everyone. Even though, through habit, they still act in the old way but soon realise it no longer has meaning in their lives so it is dropped and forgotten.

At this point they can be very listless and unsure of what or where they want to go. Emotionally see-sawing trying to find some balance. And this is from removing that false foundation of fear. It has been the place they had come from in all things, all their lives, and now they have stepped into new territory so are not sure what they really want to do now.

And this is the good part, for now above all else, the need within is to be or do things from a place that has meaning, as that place before had none. A place where other people may become offended or unsure by their actions because they no longer wish to be that lie from before. Saying no to people where before they were eager to please. And this is because the fear (most fears), are usually built from a childhood fear of being rejected by a loved one (mother, father or whoever they were brought up by, of which THEY were brought up in the same way), and unintentionally they become eager to please or afraid to open their hearts through that fear of rejection. As a child they don’t even realise what is happening but develop a way to cope with what is happening around them and take that with them all through their lives. That is why, as an adult, it is such a shock to them when they finally touch that truth within and finally see it for the first time.

That fear has been the driver all their lives and without it, is like being a learner and getting into a car for the first time. Dials, pedals and switches everywhere and may feel very overwhelming, but gradually a familiarity is built and a confidence in who, what and where they now wish to be. But those first months are a bit wobbly as they test their emotions and the new person within as each and every moment is now tested from an unfamiliar place.

And gradually a new, confident and beautiful heart is rebuilt that has more meaning, more truth and also a new found awareness within. For this journey does open the one thing that has been hidden so that this journey can be completed and allow the discovery of that beauty within, and that is that awareness that has always been within us, travelled our roads, nudged us on occasions and always cheering us on. That beauty will now always be there, it’s warm glow within, the sudden bursts of laughter and smiles for no reason whatsoever as we become more aware of what our journey means. And just because it feels good to no longer be bound by those fears, and to really live…fully…openly…with a glow that is now, and always has been, a part of who you now are.

Laugh my friend, for when you find that truth, it will have all the meaning in the world, and you will know that what went before had much purpose, and done with such a great love so that you may find that love within. Namaste

‘Knowing’ !

By Mark Lanesbury

On November 1, 2014

In The Journey

After receiving a YouTube Your Emotion Matters from Eve, I realised why spirit had been niggling me to post a topic that may rock a few boats. I realise all paths are right regardless of the journey. Their purpose is to help that individual understand and gain the wisdom to realise that unconditional love that is the reason for our journey. So the following is in reply to that video and it will be more understandable after viewing it. It’s only a 10 min chat. if you wish to do that now, just click on the link above. Then continue under here. Thanks! 🙂

I don’t know what the final destination of what he says will do, but as it currently stands it will still take an individual to understand within themselves to find that true connection that brings that enlightenment and awareness of the unconditional love that is our destination. Maybe one day they will find it, and measure it, but it will still never achieve the connection that must be done from within.

Our journey is so perfectly balanced that all that we do comes together to achieve that end. We can have the process ‘discovered’ and taught to us, and that can have advantages, but it must always be experienced to understand it and achieve what is needed to realise that end.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is…to help our journey science may assist in that process…but what purpose does it to reinvent the wheel…AND…it would never gain the perfection that is already in place to attain that unconditional love. He is totally correct in the power we have within, that ability to understand and have control of our course in life by the power of those emotions and attitudes with integrity, and their use in our lives, but the final outcome is when we have felt and understood the lowest to the highest in our lives so that we can achieve that one thing that it always teaches…and that is the ability to discern those differences and realise the truth of the love within our journey. All elements of our lives have an emotional content, something that we hold within us as we go through the many things in our lives. These are finally tempered with the wisdom that we attain by going through these multitudes of life experiences.

Until eventually we begin to realise that underlying power within us, and slowly integrate that beauty we begin to discover as we go through our lives. We learn that we put out into this world comes back to perfect our journey so we begin to ‘see’ the love that is involved in everything that we do. We learn from our hearts the beauty of a hug or being pushed away, an act of kindness or deceit. This universe and all that is in it, has been so perfectly balanced so that we learn all the emotions that bring us to the destination of our hearts. And in everything that we do on this planet, the one and only thing that we achieve, and take with us when we let go of this world, is the love and the wisdom we have achieved in our journey.

Now I’m going to really throw a spanner in the works here. Spirit spoke to me and said, ‘we know EVERYTHING, but do not ‘know’ it’. I was stunned. All the spiritual books (that I’ve read anyway), all say that the spirit (or whatever name you wish to put in here), knows everything there is to know. But this is where spirit explained to me, and I’ve quoted before…

“I can tell you to not stick your hand into the fire but it is not until you actually do get burnt that you really truly understand and ‘know’ what is meant by it, and gain that wisdom. We as spirit, and all connected, know everything, but do not ‘KNOW’ it. That is why we are here, to experience and know all of those infinite number of things that lead to the many emotional experiences….that ALL lead to that final understanding of unconditional love. Of what purpose would it be to come here if we DID ‘KNOW’ EVERYTHING. We would all be acting in a play, on a grand scale, but have no purpose. It would achieve nothing”.

It felt so simple, but all things of the spirit are. And felt so heartfelt and, dare I say it…logical, to not be a truth. It didn’t feel wrong but because of all that I had learnt up to this point, it shocked me. But eventually I gradually realised that was why I could feel within everyone a heartfelt yearning to be that love. It drives everything that we do. Ask anyone the question, ‘what do you want out of life?’, and nearly all will say to just be happy, which nearly always entails to love and be loved in return.

Now spirit did not say this next bit, but I felt from the previous conversation that all of our journeys must be for an ongoing creation. An continuation of the infinite probabilities that could occur just on our planet with the billions that have, are and will be a part of humanity, contributing to that infinite source that is God. Like everything about our lives, it is always in motion, a constant change that also reflects exactly how the universe is constantly evolving. Never to be the same one moment to the next.

Anyway, that’s my understanding, and as I said in the beginning, there are many paths and these I see in the many, and they all lead home, not that we aren’t already a part of that by the connection that is within us all. I hope what I say has meaning, and at the least, an understanding of that journey that is our lives on this beautiful, big blue planet. Namaste

Coming Out Party!

By Mark Lanesbury

On October 28, 2014

In The Journey

No, I’m not Gay. Nor am I 40,000 other labels that I could wrap around my name, put up in lights or even tack onto my door. I am that I am. A discovery we all make at different times in our lives as we wade through a multitude of things to ‘see’ if this fits or that resonates.

But it is in finally realising that what we are…is enough. After struggling, trying to find something ‘out there’ for many, many years, finding what at first seems to be exactly what we were after, only to realise that it still didn’t reach that fulfilment, that something that we constantly try to find in our journey.

I am that I am because I have now accepted that knowledge that what we had been looking for has resided inside this body always. But I had just been too noisy, trying to find something that would not be found till I let it go. Released this journey outside and listened within, instead of looking, I saw, instead of constantly worrying of my past or future, I became silent. And in that silence I began to hear something.

A voice I at first didn’t recognise. No, not a sound but a ‘knowing’ that had at different times come into my life and was fobbed off as ‘a fluke’ or ‘freaky event’. But this in fact was my centre, my spirit, my guide and myself within. It has been helping and assisting my journey with all of the love and beauty that it could. And suddenly I realised I needed to feel and experience all that I did so that when this moment arose for my understanding, it would be gratefully accepted and appreciated so much more BECAUSE of what my path had entailed.

That understanding is a watergate. A time to really understand the first part of my journey and now encompass what I have now become because of that. The first part must be experienced, felt and understood or the duality cannot be released. It is in that acceptance of what I really am within that removes the crutches, the helping hand of life’s many experiences so that I can stand within my truth and now give from that acceptance of the discovery within and be at one with myself.

It is an incredible experience to suddenly realise there is a completely new world within our own but beautifully interwoven so that it only becomes apparent when it is needed for our journey. And even ‘knows’ when we are ready to step into it fully so that we are not scared or reject it unintentionally thinking we are losing our minds. For it will only be accepted by those who are ready. The world will keep us distracted with life until that point is reached. It may dance at the fringes so that an awareness is gradually accepted but only enough so that eventually it becomes too apparent to be ignored any more.

So as I begin this next stage of my learning, and feel so much more within it, the urge to share from where I am at, is a natural by product of giving from a place that has become more open, more loving and more unconditional as I grow into who I have now become.

There are no words to fully describe this, ‘beauty, acceptance, embracing, seeing, knowing’ and a million other words to embody something that has no words. It IS of another world but one that has always been a part of us, and which with great love, has given us something that will help create the most beautiful and heartfelt soul on its infinite journey.

And in sharing such an incredible journey with the many blogger’s of THIS world, I felt it was time to embody the voice, visualize the writing and create this journey from a more balanced and open perspective. (Actually scottishmomus started this with her coming out party, and I’ve been threatening to do it ever since 🙂 )

So with respect to the many who were happy with that isolation, I will now integrate that balance with my mug shot below. May it not scare children or animals :), appease those with sight, and give love and understanding to those that only see my writings origins from the healing within my heart. Namaste

Me ☟

The Heart’s Journey!

By Mark Lanesbury

On October 11, 2014

In The Journey

Event’s…they all teach so many things about ourselves…bring us to that one truth within ourselves that is unconditional love. Ask yourself…which event in your life did you go through and not learn anger, pain and fear…and on completing this event, eventually feel the forgiveness, compassion and love (of self and others), because you began to realise those harsher energies were keeping you in that negative space. Too painful to bear within so you begin the process of change, with all of its mistakes and false starts, until you finally realise that it is in forgiving yourself that true healing begins.

All eventually lead to this place, all events allow us to create that beautiful understanding within. Painful….yes, but that is the journey or it would have no point. If you go through something that has little effect, you forget it the next day. But if you go through the pain of these things you feel, they are forever a part of who you become.

Especially from those heartfelt places like the loss of a loved one. The compassion and empathy that they create are immense. When you see another go through what has touched you so deeply within, your compassion is awakened and you now give from that place. You now understand, you ‘know’ their pain, so give from that place. If you have never been in that space before, you can give empathy, but it is not from that total heartfelt place from ‘knowing’.

So in going through that loss, that beautiful soul has released its earthbound body and deliberately helped us to understand the love within. They wanted to be a part of that creation and understanding within us. They loved us so much, they gave totally so that we may become that unconditional love, as they now are.

They have only released that body. They are still that beautiful soul that is eternal and infinite. They will always be a part of us, as we are of them.

This journey in all its extremes only leads to one place. Self realisation. We can struggle and fight it but we tire of this struggle, and when anyone is asked ‘what do you want?’, the answer is always the same, ‘just to be happy!’.

We all yearn to be in that place, away from those things that only bring pain and hurt. So an answer to all of our struggles is always sought, to find that ‘thing’ within that can bring us to that place of peace, of happiness and the love that we so wish for. And it is found, when we finally understand that what we project out into this world is only a reflection of ourselves. We project our fears and in doing so we actually create them, so that we can go through them and create that self realisation, understand why we have felt this fear within, and release the wall that has stopped us from loving ourselves.

And in that understanding, the wisdom, the empathy, the compassion and love, are also then mirrored out into the world, a reflection of what we have become.

May your understanding be a true reflection of who you are within.

Namaste

Change!

By Mark Lanesbury

On September 18, 2014

In The Journey

It’s time. This battle has been very big. The tide has turned, and I must go with it, face it, as the battle against the flow becomes too tiring. It is a journey we all must make. As each cycle in our lives takes us through so many things to create a more wiser, loving and stronger person within.

But in that cycle we become entrenched in our safety, our knowingness, even our routines that in themselves give comfort. But as each cycle is concluded we don’t want to release all that we hold, for it has been a big journey and we have gained much from it. And that is the point. We have learned much, and understood it. And we won’t go willingly because of that. But the universe needs us on another course, another journey to take our wisdom to, and guide us in our quest for that unconditional love within.

Things start to ‘fall apart’, our lives begin to wobble. The unmistakeable feeling of the build up of stress due to these changes are taking their toll and we begin to react in a way that only weeks before was unheard of. Responses from people around us goes into new territory, even close people, and our confusion becomes staggered as we deal with the many things on the radar.

Things that we felt WERE our security have changed. Lost jobs, lost finance, even lost relationships are all around. When everything seemed to be fine. The change, in hindsight, will be seen many months or even years ago. It is a gradual thing, though at the time felt like an avalanche. The universe is being gentle, but we hold on so tightly that what follows feels like a skydive. Everything rushing up to meet you.

Well, my friends, I am releasing the reins of this change and going with the flow. I had thought I was being pro-change by moving house and stepping into what I thought was my new direction. Little did I know. I have been tested from the core of my being. My belief in self, and giving from that core belief in what I thought was who I was within, has taken a hit. I gave from such a place of total acceptance, of that belief, only to have it thrown back in my face.

It stung, and very badly. It brought up much from the past and it was time to look within and understand why my reaction to this was so intense. After much soul searching it raised it’s head, and the mask that I had in place over it. We always wear masks when dealing with other people. Be tough around stronger people, gentle with not so strong. Even a different mask for those close to us. The real us only seems to be with those we are closest to. But in this case, and something we all do, I had hidden my truth from me.

I was giving from such a place that I thought was a genuine understanding of unconditional love…no expectations! Was I wrong. When a previous relationship had ended, it felt really bad, and I put this down to the obvious feelings of rejection, loss of that love etc, etc. And I did feel those things, even though they were quite tempered by what spirit had explained to me about that particular relationship. But when this new event occurred, it really stung AND brought back up all those previous feelings from before. I needed to go inside big time and search for an understanding of why I was feeling this way.

And it was a sneaky little thing. I kept re-adjusting the mask. Gave myself excuses for doing this or that. But I forced myself to come back to that original feeling of being so upset by their actions. And then it hit me. I WAS having expectations from all that I do. And I don’t mean I wanted bits and pieces…I WANTED to be accepted for what I was doing….my FEAR was in NOT being accepted…which all came back to my childhood years of feeling rejected by my dad. My thinking that if I did this or that…he would accept me for who I was. And here I was nearly 50 years later still in that time warp. The fact that my whole existence is given from a place of truth has suddenly been thrown out the door. I had been living a lie. Making out something that I was not.

It has rocked me totally. It may not have been intentional, but I believed in what ‘I’ was doing, and to realise it was done from this place of fear leaves a very sour taste. For me to understand that ‘I’ was lying to me, through my fear, really gives a feeling I’ve let myself down, let alone the others I treat. I know it has purpose, and like all else that we do, we put ourselves in these positions so that a healing can take place. And create a more truthful, loving and giving individual within.

Truth can be quite painful within, but I do know it brings a more open and understanding soul who can now be more empathic to others because of it. Time will tell if I have healed with no more masks on my path. Facing a truth of that magnitude has shaken what I thought I was within, lowered my confidence and taken some of the wind out of my sails. It makes you question yourself and try to understand what it means. In that journey I hope the unconditional love that I know is there in my heart, is no longer shaded by a fear.

I have been a little quiet, and I think I have a little more time to adjust to what I have learnt. For the wisdom that has slowly been reached also has purpose for my new direction. But for now I feel very drained and tired from going through this event. A part of this journey is to allow ourselves to heal, give ourselves time to adjust to a new understanding and become that new truth that we have discovered. It is only in denying this that reinforces the fear that kept it in place originally.

May your changes bring you closer to that unconditional love.

Namaste

Absorbing Emotions!

By Mark Lanesbury

On July 31, 2014

In The Journey

Me being the cancer with a cancer rising sign that I am, and in the early days doing my Massage Therapy, I was always absorbing everything around me. At times I felt like an emotional magnet. Empath on steroids 🙂

But one day spirit showed me a little journey, how I was always on guard to all those emotional people around me, and I was in fact attracting that to me because I was holding up an imaginary sign that said, ‘I’m afraid of emotional people’.

So spirit said, ‘the only way you can overcome any fear…is to step through it’.

So I said, ‘how do I step through other peoples emotions’.

And spirit said, ‘by releasing yours, by being totally open and unafraid of THEIR fears and giving out the love that is always within you. Standing in your truth’.

I said, ‘If I open myself up, I’m afraid of being hurt’.

And spirit said, ‘I know, and until you release that fear you will always absorb it. And the day you do, it will no longer bother you, and you will also find that because of that trust and love you are now giving out, other people and their fears will no longer wish to be around you because of that strength you now have within you. They will be afraid of the truth that you now show because they feel within that they can only heal themselves when they also step into that truth, but are not ready yet so will keep away’.

So everything changed at that point and I no longer fear people’s emotions. I no longer hold up my sign, and I just be my truth. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m in this world with all of its ups and downs and if something occurs that has great meaning to me, of course I’m going to feel it with great emotion, whether it is seeing the beauty of the birth of a child or the loss of a loved one.

But it is in understanding both those journeys that shows the love that truly is a part of all. And once understood they no longer cast a fear or our need to keep our signs aloft any longer.

We are the signs, by being the beauty of what that love has created within each and every one of us we become that understanding and shine that out into the world by being what we believe within.

It is in finding our own truth, stepping through those things that hold us at bay, that we finally release those walls within that were blocking that one thing that we all yearn for in our lives, the unconditional love that is right inside us, waiting for that wall to come down so that it can shine out and show all, the heart that is now totally giving and free.

May your journey show you the love and beauty within, for in truth, it is a beautiful destination.

Namaste

Two Wolves!

By Mark Lanesbury

On July 23, 2014

In The Journey

This post was triggered by a post by a lovely lady, Pat Cegan (Pat’s Pondering – evil), and it brought back a part of my journey where spirit showed me something we all partake in. Throughout life we have many instances of doing right and wrong in a maze of our day to day lives. This can be as simple as taking a toy off another child. Mind you, you are also a child, so the uproar from the other child, smack and scolding is seriously in your face, so it is an event you take on board because of its impact on us. And like most of life, our actions have much impact around us, and by their creation (good or bad), we feel their responses in many different ways.

Give a flower to a beautiful lady and the response (usually), is at the least, a smile and some lovely words for the gift. At the opposite end of the scale is abusing someone and in response getting abused back or at the least leaving that person upset or angry. In many of these examples we see every day, are from people who are only acting from what they have been taught or are unsure in how to deal with a situation, and can sometimes overreact or give a response that ‘seems’ to be out of context with whatever has occurred.

I see these things every day and I think that there should, at the least, be a very humanistic side to the teaching of our young in schools to make sure that they at least have something in their learning to show them there is another way, even though at home may not be very comfortable. For in that space at home are the people they love and look up to, want to be so much like them, even though those same people have probably grown up with circumstances that are less than favorable for themselves and can’t help but pass on what they have learned by their parents that they loved and looked up to as well.

But each time I think of these things, I am shown another element by spirit, whereby our lives are full of these things for a reason. We live within the context of these things in our lives to show us an understanding of what holds truth within us, and by experiencing these ‘good and evil’ things we come to know our truth, that release of our fears, letting go of our expectations and finally coming to understand what unconditional love is. And it is there…I have seen and felt it…is the absence of all these things. The understanding of why we hold onto many things in our life through those fears, IS to learn the empathy, the love and beauty that it holds.

We avoid our fears for one very big reason…they scare us. Why would we stick ourselves into a situation that frightens us. For one very good reason. That avoidance builds the fear to such a degree, so that when finally faced, the emotional impact is huge. It is an incredible release of all that we have built up against it, and the impact on us, and understanding of just what held that fear in place, leaves a big effect to such a degree, that we have great empathy for others who we now see in that same circumstance. We learn much by it.

Basically we feel a wrong within us each time we become fearful of doing something, or we only do those things because we know no other way. Whenever we step through that fear, or give to another, we feel that warm, open feeling of love because we have chosen that path. It is the universe just as it was designed. Whatever we put out there comes back in kind so that we do understand where we are at as we learn, realize and understand that journey to the unconditional love that is everywhere. Just waiting for us to understand good and bad, drop our walls of protection and release those fears we build, for we have known no other way.

Be that change. Begin to step towards that warm, open feeling within your life and watch it begin to change your circumstances. Don’t put any expectations on it, just be what you know within IS your truth and coming from that place within. It may seem difficult at first, but next time you become involved in an awkward situation, do not react, breeeathe…and show the other person there is another way, another outcome that is beneficial to all. And from that love within you, you are helping them on their journey, and yourself, starting a new learning experience, and creating within them a new path to that love that we all so dearly wish to reach within.

The following is something that I always have in my healing room. I must apologize as I do not know its origins, but its wisdom is priceless.

TWO WOLVES

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said,

‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.
One is evil. It is anger, envy, regret, jealousy, sorrow, greed, arrogance, self pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.
The other one is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, empathy, benevolence, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute then asked his grandfather,

‘Which wolf wins?’

The old Cherokee simply replied,

‘The one you feed’.

Namaste

Unconditional Love (Part II)

By Mark Lanesbury

On June 29, 2014

In The Journey

Today was a day of amazing things. I began the day with an incredible collaboration of minds to create a lovely poem with the Bardess of Scotland (scottishmomus), and on here at my site, Soul Seeker, which was a first for me. Then I decided a little leisurely stroll through our local markets was just the ticket. The sun was shining beautifully, it was lovely and warm (it is winter here in Australia), and I was meeting the most friendly people all around where I was going (our school holidays have just begun). Little did I know of what was about to happen.

As we go through life we begin to see some patterns in our lives, and one of those is the synchronicities that occur around us where things will happen multiple times to get our attention. In this instance, 2 days ago, I had bumped into the lovely lady that I was in a relationship with for a year (look up on the menu bar or click here ‘The Love‘ for the story. This story also gave me an understanding of unconditional love (original post), but from a different direction). And she was still beaming that lovely energy of hers out into the world. So when I ran into her at the markets again today I could feel something within shift. I was not sure at first what it meant so I just let it ‘go with the flow’ as I knew it would come forward when it was ready.

I wasn’t quite ready for spirits ‘ready’, as I was driving the car when I was given the most beautiful, heartfelt message from spirit that brought me immediately to tears and left me quite overwhelmed by such an epiphany that I could only pull the car to the side of the road and just sit there and realise the importance of what I was being shown.

Spirit said, ‘You ARE unconditional love, you have never NOT been unconditional love, there is no trying, there is no achieving or striving to be unconditional love, you are already there!’. The more I thought about it, the more I could feel the love and beauty that came with this message. The tears would not stop. Even now as I am writing my eyes are watering from this incredible love that came with this message. And the understanding that was shown to me all comes down to this….we are going through a process of understanding as we go through the different levels of spirituality (and I don’t mean someone is higher or lower in levels, we are all on different journeys so we are going through them in different ways), and as we understand something we have an ‘aha’ moment, integrate that into who we are, and move on with that now being a part of who we are.

But I suppose, like most others, I have been just letting things go…being in the moment…and being guided from within, facing my fears and removing them to be ‘open’ so that at some stage I would understand something and then ‘know’ unconditional love. That HAS happened within the previous relationship in what I had been shown within that. And I had been doing everything from that place of ‘being open’ and just giving from ‘within’ with no expectation (I thought), and being in a place that had no judgement and the understanding of others journey’s because of that. But to be told I was already there came as a bit of a shock.

This I did not expect (and you know what expectations will do). Spirit gently told me that this was part of the journey, so that I WOULD understand when my time came. It has always been the reverse of all that we do. Like if you fear something, you always go the other way from it, but it is in facing it that it sets you free. But you must run away, so that when you do face that fear, it has a very big effect on you when it is faced, so that the change will have a marked impact on who you are within.

Today I’ve been ‘marked & impacted’. What more can I say. It was one of the most heartfelt moments in my life and something that will never be forgotten. It has altered me within quite significantly already, and like the many other ‘events’ in my life will take some time to integrate into who I am now becoming. Spirit has been asking me to ‘wait’ as there was something I needed to see before I began my writing for my book. I think the waiting may be now over. And here I was thinking it was just the move to my new home that I was waiting for. This is much nicer!

So I hope I have been able to express this part of my journey so that others may understand. How we take on board the many things that affect us on a daily basis, and the jewels that come upon us unannounced, but all the more beautiful because of that.

May your understanding of your path be always with the unconditional love that is always in your heart.

Love and light,

Mark

Soul Seeker

By Mark Lanesbury

On June 29, 2014

In The Journey

Right…it’s done! I have moved into my new place and have begun the contemplation of just what this move means for my future. The urge to restart my healing from a better place and also have space to find the soul within, without the struggles of life constantly knocking on the door.
So while I was in this mood of regarding my place in life, a Bardess of renown came knocking on my door…well, a comment anyway…and being also in the hold of a thought on what is life, proceeded to bring my soul out to play, and convince me it was time to express myself using the words that were tumbling within.
So in collaboration with scottishmomus, the poetess of the highlands, here is our poem to begin a new journey, one of hope and healing for the future.

Soul seeker,
journey far in waxing, waning moon…
Heart healer,
words of healing, life in tune…
Believe then, in magic,
writ by silver’d stars…
And belief within,
Life open, without bars…
Hush, spirit, listen well,
heed that aching need…
To find the truth,
the beginning of a seed…
Be still, in the knowing,
Let silence fill your mind…
A gift from up above,
a wonder you will find…
No magic be cast here,
Mere souls in perfect tune…
With love and a sharing,
Perfect harmony with the moon…
Be faithful to the aching,
The voice that cries within…
For in that understanding,
is a love that’s always been.

Many thanks momus, it was a pleasure to ‘come out and play’ 🙂

Namaste

A Moment in Time!

By Mark Lanesbury

On April 29, 2014

In The Journey

And you will never forget that moment…all has led to this beautiful point. All the striving and hardships to achieve some unknown yearning, some direction or path that has meaning. And suddenly a understanding comes within…just a flutter, you try to grasp it, and it turns away. Release it and it comes back, opening like a flower. Sometimes it is difficult, but I realise now, that was because I was getting in the way. The mind trying to grasp something by the good old fashioned way of logic.

Totally useless when you begin to realise this understanding comes from within. It has always been there but life just gets in the way. It has taken me many years to gain this understanding, and like any journey there is a beginning.

You read and read, listening to others around you, all the while taking some things on board and rejecting what doesn’t seem to fit. And even coming back to them because over time you have changed, and you now have some pull towards them. At this point you realise you had to go through something, which changed you, and you now understand what you had rejected. A little more is added to the mix.

This goes on, bit by bit as you gain enough wisdom to release those fears and that interaction with life that block that understanding within. It is perfectly balanced so that until you reach that point of ‘wanting something more’out of life, you will stay on that path of the world. Keep trudging until that guiding sentinel within gently shows you something, a moment of understanding that sits you up and allows you to realise ‘there is something more’, and the change begins.

You hold it to the side, not speaking of it for fear of being labelled as ‘different’, but this is also part of the understanding. As you realise there is significance in these ‘events’, your attitude begins to change. You start to feel a purpose, a reason for being who and what you are within. Even though this begins a struggle with the world all around. For until you step fully into this journey, it will keep you at bay. Law of attraction, you hold it at bay, it will hold you at bay.

You are now developing your truth and integrity because of what you are now feeling. You are beginning to understand that you needed to feel everything that you have, so that you will understand these events as they come. You are now beginning to accelerate by letting go of the world, your understanding increases because you are letting go of all those things in life that block your journey.

And then one day you are just being…nothing more, and an understanding will come forward within. It will be so incredible that it will stop you in your tracks. The world around you will disappear for it will no longer have any meaning as you feel the truth of what has been revealed. The tears will flow, and gladly, for the beauty in this understanding will wrap your heart in the most incredible love that you will never, ever forget. You are free, and open to this love now forever. You also see that this beauty within has always been there, just waiting until you are ready.

As more time goes by and you come from this new place within, you see the truth of all your interactions with your life, within others and the purpose that it holds for you. Yes, just you, so that you may realise the beauty from within, and in doing so, give to others from that place because that is what you have gradually attracted. A love to self. A release of that life long ‘I can’t do this!…I’m not good enough!’, that has kept that duality, that non connection within. And in that belief in self, that beginning of that love for you, you stop blocking the one thing that has been trying to gain a foothold in your life, that unconditional love that is all around.

At this time you realise, yes, you are still on this earth, but it no longer has the drag of life you have endured. Your lessons in life and hardships, have reached their purpose, and you now stand in your truth, giving totally and freely within, as the understanding of that unconditional love unfolds.

Welcome to my world fellow traveller, I bid you wel-come, for even though it is a journey of much pain, it’s destination is one of such incredible beauty. Be strong, persevere and know that this path is one of completion, and the freedom and love gained will far, far outweigh anything that went before. Be at peace in that knowledge, for it is with great love that our creator wants us to be a part of all that is, that unconditional love, forever.

Namaste

Monday Meeting — Anything For Love

By Mark Lanesbury

On March 31, 2014

In The Journey

The love of true friends!

Reblogged from Soul Gatherings

Monday Meeting — Anything For Love

Posted on March 31, 2014 by Theresa

In February 2014, one of Gerdi McKenna’s friends wrote an e-mail requesting a photoshoot for all her friends, as she had been diagnosed with breast cancer a few months before. Here is what happened among the friends at the photoshoot:

Video Credit: Albert Bredenhann, YouTube

Finding the Beauty Within!

By Mark Lanesbury

On March 12, 2014

In The Journey

My previous post that I reblogged from :

Endless Light and Love!

And click on this link for that post below:

Indigo Children, They are So Switched On to Life

was such an amazing thing to watch and feel, especially where it came from. (See this video first so that you may understand the rest of this post).

It was spoken straight from his heart with not a trace of this world to begin his doubt, fears and the journey back to that unconditional love. We can sense it from him, but this world, and the fears we have created within ourselves, block it in us for fear of being open to it, and being hurt. Just as his mum was eventually brought to tears because of what she felt in the truth that he spoke.

Our minds and ego’s have had years of blocking things to protect ourselves from those painful things in our lives, but the truth is, it is when we do face those fears, we are free. It is by doing that, that we are loving ourselves, and that duality we have had for so, so long, is finally let go, and we begin to truly love and accept ourselves by seeing ourselves for who we truly are, instead of convincing ourselves we are this or that because of those fears.

That truth when we finally see within ourselves, without the walls of fear, anger or pain, is so enlightening. You finally see the beauty all around for you are no longer on guard, no longer afraid of what may come next. You begin to feel all around you in truth, as it comes, instead of what you think may be there through fear, and prepare for the worst which does not allow you to feel everything as it is, because you are so concerned with the next ‘what if?’.

You begin to see and feel in such a way that you begin to smile at all those little things that you just didn’t have time for before, and now can be seen for what they really are, part of the beauty of life. You are no longer set in your ways to be ready for anything, you just appreciate what happens as it does for you are now beginning to realise that this journey, is a journey, and not a work routine.

You begin to live by ‘looking out the window’ of your holiday transport and relax and enjoy the views and the experiences of what is a beautiful, natural landscape that can be truly experienced for the wonder that they are.

I will make one other small comment here. For those that know, it has already been seen, but for others on their journey it is in the recognition of the power, and I’m not talking about worldly power where you have control in some way over another, it is the power that is given ‘unconditionally’ from within the child. When you recognise, without fear, where it has come from, then you have begun to answer your truth within and realise the potential of giving from your heart and understanding the journey of unconditional love. The power that the child has is simply the fact that he does not yet condemn himself for anything, view himself wrong in any way or have judgement of another. All is given from a place within that only knows that unconditional love.

You too can be that child within. May your journey and awareness, from your courage to look within and release those walls that you have built, blossom from the love that you give yourself to remove those fears. For in that knowledge and acceptance you then find that you are very perfect exactly as you are, and the understanding of unconditional love begins.

Namaste

Indigo Children, They are So Switched On to Life

By Mark Lanesbury

On March 11, 2014

In The Journey

The innocence of truth!

Reblogged from Endless Light And Love

Indigo Children, They are So Switched On to Life

Published 09/03/2014 by inspiringyourspirit

This little boy is so switched on to life, his empathy towards all loving creatures is amazing as is his realisation that he has touched his mothers heart.

Namaste with Love
Always
Mark

What if!

By Mark Lanesbury

On January 15, 2014

In The Journey

What if, when we finish our lives on this planet, we have learned to love, have compassion, create from our hearts, heal from within and understand unconditional love? What if, after many soulful lessons, from struggling through life, turning ourselves inside out, emotionally crucifying ourselves and left physically drained from all of life’s hardships, much understanding has been gained?

And God say’s, ‘Now you are wise!’.

What if, after God say’s this, that we finally do understand that we are a part of God, He is inside all of us, teaching, guiding, loving…unconditionally? What if, we then begin to understand our new ‘life’, one of being a part of the whole, but each an individual spark of creation, a birth of something new?

And God say’s, ‘Here is a new planet, it is called Gaia, now be that truth!’.

What if, as we realise where we are now going, we now become that guiding influence, that whisper to another’s heart, that truth from an understanding within, that creativity from deep inside, that love for another? What if, as we see the hearts within mankind below, we understand what went before so that we can now, with that unconditional love within, guide them on that same path?

And God say’s, ‘I love you…be that unconditional love within!’.

What if……that is our truth…..and our journey has only just begun?

A Path!

By Mark Lanesbury

On January 9, 2014

In The Journey

So far, after a great deal of time of my life, I am seeing the underneath fabric of all that connects us, and really understanding some depth into the journey and its purpose. Not all, obviously, but with much better perspective of something that I thought I knew from earlier in my life (for where I was at), but really did not. I suppose it is like using Tarot cards, they look like cards with pictures and writing on them, but after a while they begin to tell a story.

This journey we are on always follows the theme of the heart. One of struggling with a myriad of emotions that always come back to that one truth of unconditional love. But that understanding can only come after many, many paths that test us in so many ways. We at times wish it would all end, but in hindsight, begin to see the wisdom of the journey and how it has slowly changed us in such a way that we begin to see the beauty in our understanding of just what is really going on underneath it all.

When I first began to ‘see’, I thought I had cracked the secret of the universe and went out to heal the world, which (in hindsight) was exactly what I needed to do as I was drawing people to me that needed healing from that perspective. But as I understand more and as I have ‘opened’ more, I realise that in reality, I need to do less. Then I only attract to me from that perspective.

This journey we are on is set up so perfectly to attract exactly what we need within our lives to such a degree that it astounds me with the beauty of it. I can be helping someone, and as we go through the particular emotional turmoil they are experiencing, I begin to see exactly why they go through this experience, from whatever fear they are experiencing, to attracting exactly what is required for them to go through and release that fear allowing them to experience, understand, release the emotions and gain the wisdom from this path.

And all of this wisdom begins to show the truth within, the journey of understanding and the knowledge that we are all here to gain the beauty of unconditional love. The releasing of all of our fears is the main agenda for it blocks our ability to ‘see’. We put up our physical and emotional walls to protect ourselves from those fears but in so doing we are so focused on creating a life to avoid those fears that it closes the ability to ‘see’.

These emotional walls are very important as they cause us to struggle within with so many onslaughts of ‘what if ‘ and ‘should I or shouldn’t I’, that becomes a hard taskmaster but in truth creates a master within. Like a chess game. In the beginning you see lots of pieces that do many individual things and your focus is in close on each piece for what they do, but after a while you can begin to see that these same pieces can in fact be looked at from further back and moved in context with the other pieces. Your understanding of the strategy of the game becomes more complex but easier because of that understanding. You gain wisdom by experiencing the game and understanding it’s complexities.

So is life. As you begin to understand the way that you react to certain circumstances and understand that those fears are in fact ruling your life and complicating you beyond measure, and you reach a point within that says ‘enough’, you begin to step out of a strategy that you have had in place forever to cope with this fear, and begin to try another strategy, and another, until you realise that none of them work. There is only one way…and that is to go through that fear, face it head on, and then and only then do you understand why you have had that coping strategy in place, to protect you from it because you have been afraid to face it. But it was never going anywhere, it was just sitting there until you do face it.

So you begin to look deeper to understand why this has been in place for so long. You poke and prod in frustration until one day you see or hear something that you relate to, and suddenly you understand what it is that you have been afraid of. At this point you usually burst into tears from the release of understanding. The final checkmate that finishes such a long and drawn out process that the relief is indescribable. It’s done. Leaving you very drained, tired but out from under a burden that you have laboured under forever. There will be a lot of time needed to get over this as it is a hugely emotional drain, and unlike a physical drain, this needs much more recovery time.

After this journey is complete you begin to see this same path that others are taking and you have much empathy to those others because of what you have experienced. You begin to give to others from that compassion within that you have gained from your experience. And this opens you from within, as your journey has now shown you your truth. You are no longer hiding, evading or even lying to yourself because of that fear. You are no longer bound by the walls that you had in place for protection. You begin to give from your truth and in doing that the universe responds in kind, to begin another journey, but with this one it is from the opposite side of the coin. This time you start to understand the journey and give from that place of understanding.

As time goes on and you ‘see’ so much more, you begin to master your wisdom and realise that all that went before has purpose. It also enables you to ‘step back’ further and begin to really understand just what unconditional love means. You are no longer judgemental as you can now see we all have our own individual fears and are driven by those fears. And what a fear means to one person may not affect another at all. This in itself releases you for the simple reason that those judgements are based on fear. You no longer have yours as you have now released it, and you are now coming from your truth within, which is totally free from any judgement and no longer a load to carry around.

You now understand the complexities of what a fear can do. It has always been the reason from doing or not doing so many things. It integrates itself into your life, not just a side of your life but an integration of just who you are. That is why it is such a release when it is faced and released. It will feel like the world has been lifted off your shoulders. And it is no longer at the steering wheel of your life. You now give control back to yourself, your true self that has been behind the wall.

So now as each piece of understanding is gained you begin to ‘see’ further and further into your truth, of just what you are and the meaning that we have so been looking for all our lives. To realise that this whole journey has been only about one thing, even though there is a billion ways to get there, and that is to understand the path of self love, to find that truth within, remove that duality and finally become one with all that is, the beauty and perfection that is unconditional love.

With love and light,

Mark

A ‘Shift’ from an Out of Body Experience!

By Mark Lanesbury

On November 17, 2013

In The Journey

After my previous post (Truth from an unexpected place!), with regard to a gentleman who had an Out of Body Experience (O.B.E.), I had a conversation with a friend (yes, Tammy), who suggested I should put MY experience into a post so that others may gain from the experience. Now my experience was quite different. Yes, it was an O.B.E. but not what you would call ‘in the classic sense’ of one where you are usually floating above your body and looking down on it and your surroundings. Mind you, others may have experienced what I did, I just haven’t come across one yet and have no idea what to call it. Let’s just say it was a ‘Shift’ for want of a better description.

It was in my early days of ‘spirituality’ and trying to find me. I was doing the meditations and had begun my Massage Therapy Course so I was just touching base with what I wanted to become, and reading books from all over the place to learn and explore other experience’s so that I may understand what it all meant. I suppose spirit knew I was ready for something that, even to this day, still gives me such a feeling of awe and majesty in just what is ‘there’ for us to be a part of.

A young lady (I’ll call her Sue), had joined the meditation group and after getting to know her over a few weeks we would spend some time going for walks and speaking about our journeys and what we had got from the meditations and just swapped information that we had learned from them. In the short time that I had known her she seemed a lovely young lady, knew her mind and the direction she wanted out of life. She also had what appeared to be a ‘depression’ that she was dealing with because of a breakdown in her relationship and was on some medication to help her through this time.

Now, over the course of those few weeks I did note that occasionally Sue would become quite angry and unhappy with the circumstances that she found herself in, and I would talk with her to help her understand and deal with her emotions and try to resolve how she was feeling. By the end of those weeks I saw that she was becoming quite agitated, and under the circumstances I thought I understood her emotional journey.

It was then that a friend told me that they thought that she had a Bipolar disorder, and she had gone off her medication. Well, the only thing I knew about it was that it was a condition where your moods would alternate between being agitated and or elevated and that it wasn’t a very nice thing to have and it was a difficult thing to deal with at the best of times. And as time had gone past I was witnessing a deterioration within herself and how she coped with her day to day life and interacted with the people around her.

One afternoon we were having a discussion on the balcony of the place I was living in and Sue began a discourse on what she thought was the real problems that affected the world and her proposals to repair and heal the unfairness that was rife in the running of it. As the afternoon went on she started to really escalate and become angrier and angrier, and speaking more in terms that were becoming quite unrealistic, finally reaching a tearful stage into what I was now beginning to realise was a manic episode that is associated with this condition. I realised then how so unfair this condition was, the obvious pressure this had applied to her marriage and the current circumstances that she now found herself in. And all the while not being able to control it except for the medication that she had now stopped taking. My heart could feel her totally (and this ‘event’ showed me just how empathic I had become). I could feel her fear, her sorrow, her pain and the utter hopelessness she felt of the situation, and my whole being went out to her and just ‘gave from the heart’ all in an instant. It was an incredible feeling, an outpouring of pure love.

And then suddenly everything changed. And I mean everything. I was not sitting on my lounge looking out onto the balcony where she was sitting. I could not actually feel my ‘physicality’ on the lounge or in regard to anything around me. But the overriding thing about ‘me’ was that I now ‘knew’ everything. I did not have to ask, it was ‘just’ there, everything, all. Everything ‘was’ me. And there was ‘no time’. It did not exist. Time did not belong where I ‘was’. Everything was at my behest. But I did not need to even ‘want’ anything. There was no need or requirement or thought that I required anything. It was a total perfection as it was. It was the most all encompassing and total feeling of ‘I am’. I can barely describe it to give it any justice. In this place I was a total of everything that ever was, will be, all at once. I could see all around me but there was no need to ‘look’ at anything because I already knew it. But even so, all that I could ‘see’ was an olive green color. I never questioned it at the time because there was no need, but I think in hindsight that it was because of what I had become, that was the only way I could ‘view’ anything was because I was ‘seeing’ things through my senses, not my actual eyes.

My awareness had been raised to such an incredible level. I, with my brain and thought patterns, can barely grasp it now. It was the most all encompassing totality of everything. But this much I do know. I was given the most barest touch of what WAS actually there. I knew I didn’t have the ‘senses’ to understand the depth and vista of what actually was there. My mind would not have been able to absorb what incredible information was around me and I would have gone over the edge. I was being shown something so magnificent so that I could give from a place of understanding in what I now knew. It was the beginning of my connection within of my ‘knowing’ and bringing that understanding into my healing for myself and others. It was also a very important part of my truth, so that in feeling that I could give from that place.

And then I came back to sitting on the lounge, facing out to the balcony. Only this time Sue was walking back through the doorway saying that she was going home. I had no idea how long I was there. There was no way of understanding if it was 1 second, 100 or even an hour. It felt like it was but an instant, but it didn’t matter. But the one thing that I did know was I was as high as a kite. I was floating and feeling so light that whatever I touched was not registering properly. My perception of everything around me was totally out of synch. I could barely move to start with as it felt like my first time in a body. I was all over the place and didn’t dare try to get up or walk. I felt that I maybe I had projected myself or astral travelled for the first time and because I hadn’t done this before, it was taking a bit to get used to, to settle back into my body.

I was so relaxed and in such a state of peace that I deliberately let myself go back into what I had just felt and slowly went back over all that had happened. Absorbed this incredibly wonderful place so that I could savour it forever. Finally my awareness was bringing me back and I was balancing back into my body, so I slowly got up and ‘tried’ to walk and all those other things that a normal body takes for granted. It took quite some time (hours), to just walk properly. It felt like I’d been in traction for months and was taking my first steps. It wasn’t until then that I even registered that Sue had actually left.

After a good nights sleep (and believe me I crashed), I slowly got up, and yes, I was still quite out of sorts. My actions were quite slow and deliberate and I also found my state of mind was still in that ‘high’ of the day before. This went on for the next two weeks. The body slowly got back to working at nearly my normal pace, but the mind wasn’t going there. I realised I needed to ground myself or I couldn’t function properly.

I went to a friend who is a Reiki Master and told her the story and asked if she could bring me back and ground me so that I could bring what I had learned down into the ‘now’. It worked quite well and I could function much better after it, but I did realise that regardless of what I did, it had changed me forever, and I needed to begin my journey of what changes the ‘event’ had now created within me.

I now understand and realise that this ‘event’ was a forerunner to my path of spiritual healing and the understanding of bringing the ‘love within’ back into my day to day life. The healing of the heart within is just as much a spiritual as well as a physical healing of us in this world that we live in. It has it’s trials and tribulations so that we may understand our journey, but it is in the end, where many do not understand, that it is in loving ourselves that we are able to heal and finally create that beautiful place within, that unconditional love that no longer fears this world, and then begins to give from that place within.

With Love, Light and Blessings,

Mark

Truth from an unexpected place!

By Mark Lanesbury

On November 11, 2013

In The Journey

I did it again. Pre-empting a night of ho-hum with my 83 year old mum out celebrating an early Christmas dinner with all her tennis chums, I assumed a night of conversation that would consist of the latest thrashing such and such gave to someone else, and how they got them in the final set would be the highlight of the night. Little did I know that the foreign gentleman across the table from me was going to fire a rocket across my bow and make me sit up and really take note of a truth from an unexpected quarter.

A general polite conversation had begun about the use of statin’s as a cholesterol lowering drug and the uproar that had hit Australian television a couple of weeks ago after a very respectable scientific show called Catalyst (Part 1: Heart of the matter, Dietary Villian’s, Part 2: Heart of the matter, Cholesterol Drug War), (these episodes have since been removed…I wonder why!), had done some serious research to show that the cholesterol came after heart disease, not before it. And the research that had determined that cholesterol was the culprit, was seriously flawed. As you could imagine that caused a sensation that is still reverberating around the country now. (By the way, I am not suggesting throwing your statin’s out the door, speak with your Doctor first, then do what I did and flushed the con job that they are down the toilet).

Anyway, this, believe it or not, wasn’t what threw me. The gentleman with the smile and twinkle in his eye quietly let the hubbub die down and he proceeded to tell us of his heart condition that he was going through at that moment. They had inserted a stent to try to repair the vein to the heart and reduce the strain on the heart wall muscle that, he had been told, the statin’s appear to have weakened. That went well, but his heart condition still left him quite weak. They also said that in his weakened condition they would not be able to operate again because he would not survive it. And he was still smiling.

A lady next to me said it must have been a terrible ordeal, to which he thought about for a moment and then said ‘Yes, it was. But while I was hovering above the surgeon watching him operate on me, it really didn’t matter, I couldn’t feel anything’. You could have dropped a pin, in the middle of a restaurant seating 150 people, and heard it roll over the floor. We all sat there stunned, myself included, by this admission from someone from the old school who usually kept those things to themselves. He went on to say it was peaceful and he could see exactly what they were wearing, what they were saying to each other and what everything looked like in the room. Even how they were doing the operation on him.

To say the least, he had all our attention. And finally spirit gave me a nudge (I was still sitting there in a daze), and gently got me to ask him, ‘after being a part of that, how do you feel towards life now?’. To which he replied, ‘everything has changed, things that were important, no longer are. Other things that didn’t seem to matter, now do. Life has changed’. (And where have I heard that before!). And as we all sat there nodding our heads and seeing the truth in his words, we all realised our lives were very artificial. Very keep up with the Jones’s. And full of stress for all the wrong reasons.

As I write this I even think that where I am coming from can still use a lot more changes. Changes in what I feel is important to me, and those things that I really don’t need. My attitude to a lot of things can still do with a lot of tweaking for the simple reason I still allow many things to come into them that in reality have no meaning. Yes, I need to learn those things but more to the point is in having the attitude of giving from a place that has meaning and truth. And I realise that I still have things that need to be expressed and let go to heal so that I can actually live the truth that I am, not the version that is giving, but with a layer of fear wrapped around my heart for protection so that my attitude is restricted by this layer getting in the way of everything.

So at the end of the evening, we could see that this gentleman was becoming quite tired, and even I was beginning to feel he was actually in quite a bit of pain, so with a little nod of his head to his wife they bid their good nights to one and all and made their way home.

I went out with the expectation of a dull evening, and spirit being spirit decided to show me what life was really all about. In the most unexpected place, from the most ordinary circumstances, life is alive and well. And from a place that seemed lifeless and coming to an end. He had a smile and a twinkle in his eye, and I know why. I now even feel that within myself because he was able to express his truth to us all. Life is what we make it. So what do you really want out of life? What really is important? This life is really but a brief sojourn, and in reality it is to those we love, ourselves included, that we should give from a place of truth and feel from our heart within. Too soon time has come and gone before we realise that maybe we should have done this or that. Now is the only time…forgive (for you may not be able to later), let go (for pain is the only thing you hold), hug (for it cares from within), say ‘I love you’ (for most of all, it means everything). Namaste

Daily Wisdom: The Rules for being Human

By Mark Lanesbury

On November 7, 2013

In The Journey

Found this and couldn’t have explained it better! And yes, all you have to do is listen within and trust!

Reblogged from Happy True Life

Daily Wisdom: The Rules for being Human

Posted on June 28, 2012 by happytruelife Image

Namaste Princess!

By Mark Lanesbury

On October 30, 2013

In The Journey

After all that was shown to me in ‘The Love’, spirit decided that I needed to see something a bit further along this journey of unconditional love so that I may realise it’s significance over time in how it has affected me, my way of life and just how I project that out into the world.

It has been nearly two years after my relationship with the most beautiful women in the world has ended, even though we are still good friends. And in that time I have always given to that friendship, knowing that given time we would both eventually meet others and devote more time and energy into those relationships, to progress further on our journey of understanding of who we truly are.

So last night I visited my princess to give her a present for her birthday. And was met by this incredibly beautiful and regal queen. Recently, over a period of a couple of months, I felt a change within her in a way that was showing, after a few years of going through some seriously traumatic events, that that time of the princess was now over. The beauty of what those events had created was now beginning to emerge like the chrysalis of a butterfly. And it was a lovely thing to see.

We talked for some time and I could feel the energy coming from a totally different place. Her confidence in understanding what she had now become was amazing. She had found that lovely lady within, and was beginning to show that love to herself, after all that had gone before. Give to herself in a way that showed she had come through that trial by fire that is needed to create that rebirth within, and then come from that place to give truly from the heart.

Her heart was in her eyes, the happiness in her actions. She was blossoming in so many ways after her time of understanding, with those things that she had gone through. I was so happy for her after seeing the pain and the struggle that her life had put before her so that she could find that queen within. That searching and finding of that wisdom and belief in herself to become that hope for her future and what she wanted to become.

I’ll never forget that journey, as it was this princess that showed me the beauty of unconditional love. And I now realised, that was why spirit needed me to still be a part of this relationship, so that I could see that this was a gradual process like any other. We grow in faith in ourselves, we grow to understand anything we study, we grow in understanding in the raising of our children, we grow in our love for another, but the biggest and most incredible growth, is in loving ourselves. These things test us in so many ways, but in that final testing we slowly become that beautiful thing within that is unconditional love.

So after all that has been said and done, my love for this beautiful lady and all that she has taught me, is undiminished. My own heart journey has reached a new place of understanding and letting go. The woman I have loved and remained friends with has grown in her own voyage of discovery. Time for me to let the princess of yesterday blossom as queen of her own heart. Sometimes letting go is the only way to keep that which we love and those we have known. A new stage of the voyage begins. Friendship and love remain.

Love rejoices in another’s happiness. Always.

Namaste

This song is so poignant to my journey, it’s synchronicity in how I found it, was as always perfection from the universe.

50 Signs of spiritual Awakening

By Mark Lanesbury

On October 28, 2013

In The Journey

Found this while wandering the community. Very interesting list for anyone curious to their journey and just what an awakening can mean to them.

Reblogged from Powerful Figures

50 Signs of spiritual Awakening

Ability to learn new concepts, or languages rapidly increases …this stems from opening to all your soul record and remembering who you are
Making a conscious effort to connect to people through the eyes and the heart
Increasing Gnosis (knowledge of spiritual mysteries)
More frequent flashes of ‘inner-tuition’, or intuition
Disconnection from the white noise and negative information (TV and radio)
Seeking holistic health care practitioners as partners in your healing journey…no longer seeking a doctor to “fix you” with prescription drugs
A feeling of being grounded to the core of the earth.
Knowing that these places within your body are showing you about areas of great opportunity for growth on all levels.
Paying attention to the places of pain/restriction in your body in order to move into them!
A sense of your own power to create with thought, words, and actions
Activating grace and fluidity of movement through posture and breath
An increasing ability to access inner peace in the lower chakras
Heightened senses of hearing, smell and taste
Becoming more aware of how your body moves through space
An increased interest in exercising in ways that honour your body – mind – spirit connection
A feeling that something has changed within you
You begin to look younger experiencing more vitality
Seeking new friends and groups who are interested in the Integrated life of the spirit (meaning balance in mind-body-spirit)
Spiritual awakening raises your vibration; this involves a release of blockages which allows abundance to flow to you. Being in alignment with a higher vibration results in quicker and more beneficial manifestations to be received by you.
Greater understanding of symbols, numbers and sacred geometry
Increasing sense of empathy and connection with all people & animals
An increasing willingness to show your emotions to all people, rather than cover up and hide your true self
An increased humor; the ability to laugh at the self
Feelings of bliss when experiencing simple things, such as a sunset, or a seeing a beautiful cloud formation
A returning ability to allow your tears to flow in situations of emotional intensity
Letting go of the need to control outcomes
Giving yourself permission to follow your heart’s desires
“I can and I am” becoming your key words, rather than “I can’t and I am not”
Offering from the heart to help others in times of need, knowing that you are helping yourself
Increasingly seeing the Divine in the mundane
Meeting new people in serendipitous ways and knowing that this is divine direction in your life
Loving yourself as you are without the need to qualify
Asking for and receiving confirmation from your guides on a regular basis
Experiencing true surrender to Divine Will without feeling victimized by your own choices
Remembering your dreams and knowing what your spirit is telling you through the symbolism of your dreams
Seeing the beauty in each and every person in your life
Letting go of expectations of how you think things “should be” and accepting them as they are
Being led by spiritual intuition rather than limited by emotional fear
Being able to transcend limited perceptions of incarnate dimension
Seeing your life experience in the holographic reality of your soul
Feeling God within your body – an awareness of heat coming from your hands and feet.
Knowing that your are home now and in every Now you create
An increase in occurrences of coincidence, better known as synchronicity, favourable people and beneficial circumstance start to appear with exactly what you need. Answers to questions are revealed to you through signs and messages. Synchronicity is a sign you are on the right track and that you are aware of these miracles happening around you. The more you notice and take heed, the more they appear so show appreciation for the guidance you are receiving.
You simply feel different, you may not look any different but you know something has changed internally.
Paying more attention to the details of daily life – your old ways are falling by the wayside and the real you is starting to emerge.
A desire to enroll in a classroom of “higher” learning. Going to new places and moving outside of your comfort zone
For many of you, this is allowing yourself to ask questions in groups, to talk to “strangers” and to let go of your fears of looking uninformed in front of others.
A feeling that you are somehow different, with new skills and gifts emerging, especially healing ones.
Increased integrity, you realize that it is time for you to seek and speak your truth.
A knowing sense of connectedness / Oneness. You have an abiding knowing from within of the intrinsic inter-relatedness of everything, both living and non-living. You have a sense that now your life is a living manifestation of this Truth, and that you are It — as are all people

Learning to Love

By Mark Lanesbury

On September 29, 2013

In The Journey

I read a very nice poem by a lovely lady on a blog here yesterday (scottishmomus you have been outed 🙂 ), and it reminded me of a love that I had experienced and what it had meant to me. Yes, that love was very special to me, but it showed me something even more precious. It showed me how to love myself, and I don’t mean that in a egotistical sense. Out of all that I went through over the last few years the main thing I found, and was shown by spirit, is our inability to love ourselves.

We always doubt ourselves, have little confidence in our abilities and belittle our worth in so many different ways. BUT, that is the journey, that is how we find and understand unconditional love. It is a journey within ourselves to find that capacity to give to ourselves that love that we find so hard to do, even to others because we don’t want to be hurt. It is only when we realise that if we give totally, step past the fear of being hurt, that we realise that it was inside us all the time, we just had to step past that fear in ourselves. An incredible realisation when you see and feel what it means.

So now I give from a totally different place, no more doubts, no more thinking I am not worth it, just do the best that I am able. Yes, I definitely still make mistakes, I’m still human, but that doesn’t give me the excuse any more for anything. I now know within myself that I always give from that place of love within and accept that. It has changed everything. Everything takes on a completely different aspect. All I have learnt in my life has practically been thrown out because it does not function in who I now am. But don’t get me wrong, all that went before was very much needed. Like trainer wheels on your bike, needed to start with but removed as your confidence in self was increased to a point that they were no longer needed.

So is life, the more we understand, the more we integrate our truth within into our everyday lives, the more we let go of what is no longer needed until we reach that lovely place of unconditional love. That is our path. It is the one thing that when we show our love openly, freely and with no fear, it is also returned in like manner. The universe is so in tune with our every move that when it see’s us take that step into ourselves, it will reciprocate in kind. I now see that on a day to day level, and when I do say ‘hang on, why isn’t such and such happening’, I know I’m putting expectations on it, so I let it go.

And slowly as I integrate this into my life I smile a lot more, simply because I am more happy within. People find that a bit confronting. My car breaks down, I smile, I lose money, I smile, because in the middle of all those things…they don’t matter. The most important thing in all this is you, and to learn you are that important in the scheme of things. Give that love to you, you deserve it, totally and unreservedly. Begin the change that will make all the difference in the world. And in return, be that change and give from a place that is now you, and like any relationship when you give something with love, it is returned in many ways.

First take one step…how do you truly feel about yourself within?…then take another…..and don’t worry about people looking at your trainer wheels, they are there for you so that you can find that truth within…this is YOUR journey, no one else’s, this is all about you, believing in yourself and finding that love and the perfect relationship with you. They will be delighted with the end product because of what you will become. Yes, it can be a fearful step, but be gentle on yourself, don’t put so much pressure on yourself that you enhance that fear, and more to the point, show me one child that hasn’t come tumbling down in the process. Even later on with the ‘look ma’, no hands’ that ends up in a heap because they got too cocky.

But that’s ok too. That’s the learning process. The most important bit is that you try, try to become that beautiful being within by being loving to yourself, and in return begin to express that love within that is just waiting to come out. Now…about that first step…are you ready to give that love to yourself?

The Final Act (or is it?)

By Mark Lanesbury

On September 19, 2013

In The Journey

Of all the things I’ve spoken about, this would have to be one of the touchiest subjects in the world. We can talk about a myriad of things but when the topic of death rears its head it always touches that place deep, deep within ourselves and brings such a large range of emotions to the surface because of the connection it places on us, and with those that were close to us. And the only way we are able to handle those emotions is usually by blocking them in some way (in the beginning), so that we can still function on a day to day level.

It can be so overpowering because we were so close emotionally, physically and spiritually to someone who has passed away that it takes on such a loss that we feel we will never be able to come to terms with what has happened. The loss of that connection, from many years or even a short time is always measured by how close we were to that person, how we interacted with them and how they made us feel.

And as our lives go on and we deal with these individual losses at different times in our life we never seem to get past how it makes us feel inside. The pain and that loss changes us forever so that we find that our future actions are done with a much more caring and giving space. It gives us a wisdom in knowing that we really are here for a short time so we give from a different space. Things that were important, no longer are. Our attitudes to things take on different meaning. And most importantly, the love from those around us, is accepted in a more understanding and caring way.

It is by being taught and shown how to process this time in our lives that enable us to cope with a time that touches us to the core of who we are. We see it in others at a distance as well as those close to us by how they deal with a situation that seems to test us beyond limits. But eventually it is us, who we are and what we have created ourselves to be, by our beliefs and understanding that make us who we are within, that enable us to come through this time with a strength and faith in the journey that we are on.

Spirit has shown me this journey, this final act that we must all face in our lives so that it may give an understanding, a new way of looking at something that has always been kept at a distance, so that it may take on new meaning. Looked at in such a way that it no longer holds that ‘fear’ for us or our loved ones because of the understanding of what really happens at that time. And most importantly, the ‘knowing’ that where those loved ones now are, is the most wonderful, beautiful place that ever is.

This journey is on the menu above under the title of ‘The Death’ for those that may be interested. May it give you peace and blessings.

Mark

Fathers Day (Australia)!

By Mark Lanesbury

On September 2, 2013

In The Journey

What a day for Fathers everywhere, yesterday was a great day! But what does it really mean to all those children out there. Many have fantastic fathers who in their own way have lived their life in such a way that they are looked up to and cherished for all that they do. But some children, even on into adulthood, only remember the pain and anguish of being a part of a very disjointed family with the father figure being someone that was only remembered with loathing and hatred.

This I did, and only remembering the bits that I loathed my father for. Locking them in place so I always had something to rely on so I could always bring it out when I needed it in my life. Then one day a lovely friend of mine, while I was in the throes of a rant and rave about my father, casually mentions to me that, ‘are you happy with who you are?’, to which I replied ‘yes!’, she then went on to say, ‘if your father wasn’t the person that he was…you wouldn’t be the person that you now are…so which bit do you want to change?’.

I was stunned! I blustered and bumbled and then got angry. How dare she say…well, what was she saying…that I should ‘accept’ who my father was…no bloody way…I’ve invested a life time of hating that man…there was no way I was going to forgive that, not this side of hell freezing over.

For days after it I was angry, I couldn’t believe the turmoil it had created. And after I had cooled off after a while I began to realise something. She was right, and that got me angrier! I didn’t want to deal with it but the reality kept knocking on my door. She was totally right. I am who I am, because he was who he was. And he was only who he was because of how HE was brought up and only knew how to bring me up the same way. My dad was a part of HIS environment just as I was.

So I had (notice I say ‘had’, later on you realise that until you say ‘want’, only then does it truly happen), to forgive him…AND forgive myself for judging him for all those years. And I then realised something else. I was only hurting myself, keeping myself angry, keeping myself sad, keeping myself in a state of hurt and pain. And also realising I am only really hurting myself and those around me. Because I’m in that space of hurt and anger, I’m giving from that place, and that’s what everyone around me can feel.

And then the penny really dropped. I had also brought my children up the same way. You don’t really realise it until much time has passed and you ‘see’ the actions in their lives that imitate you. On how they are treating you because of how you’ve brought them up. How they begin to have their own children and the attitudes they use to bring them up. Even now I find it difficult to be close to them and even say those three little words ‘I love you’. All because of what I was taught and how hard it was to cross that wall that had been built up over the years which was now becoming very evident.

I began to feel guilty of all the things that I had passed on to them. The actions that cause so much pain and hurt and beguile their lives in so many ways. But after many years, and the understanding that life and the wisdom that you find along the way have opened your mind, you begin to realise that this is a journey of understanding so that I can now give from a much better place because of all that I have felt, understood and integrated into who I am.

No, the guilt isn’t an excuse, nor is it an open license to be a disjointed father. I now try to get past that wall by pushing myself past that fear of being hurt from someone I love by just being who I want to be and giving from that place. Yes, for a while it felt strange because I’ve never had that type of relationship with anyone but even I could feel the release from me AND my children because I was trying to be in that place.

An awakening is an understanding. An understanding gives a realisation. A realisation then allows you to change who and what you are. Now is that time to take in a deep breath, let it out, and be who you’ve now become. Release whatever is no longer needed in your life, the anger, the hurt and anything else that ties you to whatever you once were. Cry your eyes out, for it in itself is a great healing and a beautiful way to release what is no longer needed within your life.

Now look in the mirror and see what you have become. Love you for who you are. You are an incredible creation. You build on that creation every day. Be that creation. And be proud of what you have endured, but above all, understand the wisdom that it has given you and integrate that into who you are and build further.

My father’s day has a new meaning these days even though my dad passed away many years ago. It no longer drags me into that hurt and pain even though I do still remember it. The important bit is to just try to be your truth. What you know within is a part of you and how you want to be so that you can give from that place. A place that is changed and makes you feel at ease.

So for all of those fathers out there, who were once children themselves, and all the children out there, who will one day become fathers, eventually you will be able to forgive the actions, let go of the hurt and pain and realise that in all those actions is someone who from their learning didn’t know how to love, how to show their emotions and by that began a journey to find the understanding that was missing in their lives. You were a part of that, and in that, with great love, you have contributed to their becoming whole once again.

Sometimes it may not seem like any change can be seen, but within it will be very different. They may not be able to express it, for change can be a frightening thing, but all it takes is one step, spoken from the heart, and the change will begin. Done with integrity and the truth within, that awakening to a new you will start.

To all the fathers and the children within, have a beautiful day, and may it be with the love and understanding of a journey that is always done from the heart!

The Journey has begun!

By Mark Lanesbury

On August 27, 2013

In The Journey

It all begins…with a smile…and another…and before long it just comes naturally!

Tag: journey

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