And eventually we do put ourselves first…not as we normally do in life, forcefully…but by understanding our fears, and giving a love to ourselves that we initially did not dare because of how we felt about ourselves. It is in putting us first instead of our fears.
Our fears have to be lived to be understood, and in their outcome is the wisdom of that love. We always give from where we are at. And that is mirrored back to us in our lives by those around us. And as we grow up we give from those fears, a place where we feel unloved and unwanted. Each time we give a flower or argue with a friend, those actions are reflected back to us so that we can ‘see’ where our hearts are, giving out a curved version of who we are because of the expectations of ourselves built from those walls of fear.
And we can never see or understand our fears for many years because we avoid them because of their pain…but as life goes on, those around us keep reflecting back who we are, so that we can ‘see’ where we truly are inside. You know, those situations in relationships that always seem to keep repeating themselves, leaving you totally amazed at how these events keep happening. Making you feel like the universe is picking on you. Until you reach that point where ‘I can’t do this anymore’ becomes your mantra.
But once the fear is understood, it loses its power, and we then see that it has only been us that is blocking our love for ourselves…because we didn’t feel worthy of it.
Our negativities and low self worth from childhood hold those walls up until we are forced to step through them. As we have done by going through the many ups and downs within our life. Slowly we have been able to ‘see’ those walls and with great courage and strength, dared those fears to find that belief of who we really are within and become that love we always seek in our lives, that happiness that we look for but never seem to find.
It is there, gently waiting, prodding us to take the next step, to at last find that love, and be that true freedom within. And to be totally happy, for we have finally found what we have been seeking all our lives…to love ourselves unconditionally. For those fears ARE the conditions we had placed on our journey, and in defeating them we totally appreciate what it has taken to break through and find who we really are within.
And in doing so, we are finally free. Because that happiness is the love we dared to give ourselves, releasing the conditions that held us in chains, to find an unconditional that will leave you in tears…tears of love and gratitude because of what you have now found within.
May your journey dare those fears, for through them is a light like no other, and a beauty beyond measure…….your light <3