First Love! (Part II)

What can I say, that first encounter (First Love!) was over 12 months ago.
She crossed my mind often, in between life’s many wanderings…but not to make ‘that’ meeting again.
It felt like a loss, but not, because I was blessed with touching something so beautiful for what it was.
So I moved on, lived in a world somehow devoid a little because it felt so wonderfully close and personal, but never to be touched.
I had even tried to measure it against what I thought my life should be like, constantly a part of someone who made me feel that way.
Fool…expectations are a brace for the unwary, wanting of something that I couldn’t find in myself.
And because of that realisation, I let it go…gently, oh so gently.
And so in doing this, I allowed it to happen again…just by minding my own business, expectation-less and celebrating a birthday with a friend.
And there she was…I wasn’t sure what to do at first…a quick hello because of how unsure I felt, many people around us.
But the glow in that smile, the sparkle in those eyes could never hide this…this ‘connection’ beyond time.
We mingled with friends, always aware of a darted eye, a comment, and that smile that can only come from one place.
I also became aware my jaw was hurting again, like the first time, from smiling so much…but I didn’t care. I would recite a prayer 5 million times just to see her smile.
Many little chats began, but broken because we realised we were ignoring everyone else…but flowing so smoothly.
And suddenly we were by ourselves, wiping up the dishes, a chore by anyone’s standards…but we didn’t see it.
And even that came to an end, and my time was up, I had to leave…but never wanting to.
Unsure of what to say to end this day…I lifted my arms to show a farewell at the least by that embrace.
And it happened…….we gently embraced and joined together in the most beautiful serenity, melting into each other.
We floated in a sensation that when we met before was but a gentle flutter, now turning full force.
The world did not exist, nothing did but that beautiful touch within.
A moment as the ego wanted to know what it meant, but I released it and moved beyond it into acceptance. Just a perfect moment where everything was…was…just so perfect.
Not a word was spoken, it didn’t need to be. Not a movement was made, it was no longer required…we just were.
I have felt many things in this life, touched many hearts, experienced much love, physically and spiritually in the healing’s around me.
But this…words could not utter what was there in that moment…I was lost…and found…in the simplicity of that connection.
A singularity where all comes together in that one instant of time, to touch that perfection.
We finally released each other, very reluctantly, after what seemed like forever, and searched for a way to be together again.
And the universe opened and showed us a way…she would be back in two weeks.
I left. I smiled inside and out, my jaw hurting like crazy…by a pain I did not want to stop.
Two weeks?…14 days? Could I wait that long.
This is only day three…and look at what I have written.
Even my heart is beginning to ache…but it too is a pain I would gladly endure forever.
But above all that, is the one thing that is there above all else.
I ‘knew’, even before a word had been spoken…a calm ‘knowing’ that I was already there, a connection unlike any before.
Soul Mates? Or is that just the Universe opening a gate, to help us to walk through and find that truth within.
I’m reaching for the latch…hesitating…but I am lost already, and know it.
Smiling the smile of the heart, I follow my path…touching that place within us all, with a love like no other to guide us truly.

***Footnote: Well, a little time has now passed since I wrote the above, spirit had asked me to ‘delay’ putting it up. And I realise why now. I’ve had time to digest something that still leaves me amazed at this connection. But it wasn’t meant to be.
The lady in question is going through a very difficult time in her life so is in no space to be wanting a relationship at the moment.
So, what does that mean…well, I do now realise, because of the previous relationship that I was in, that if it didn’t ‘connect’ with the incredible power that it did, I may not have told myself ‘it is time to move on’, and wanted to. It isn’t until we are faced with these issues that we really look within and make those decisions. Don’t get me wrong, I have been quite happy in going where I have gone in life, but I think it may be time to ‘change’ my direction, hence the ‘contact’ with another beautiful soul.
But beyond that…I was allowed to touch something…feel and see something that is within us all. And I smile all the more inside for the ‘knowing’ of that beauty, and what is gently waiting as we step past our fears, and open truly to a whole new way of being πŸ™‚

34 thoughts on “First Love! (Part II)

  1. Ohh it allowed me maybe your already logged on? Your link to your comment by the way still has au at the end. May be if you log out the go to my site and press your logo link you may see URL show up. πŸ’•

    1. Most certainly, and all teaching us that love that is shown each time we step past our boundaries, and dare to look a little deeper within πŸ˜€
      Thank you for sharing Hailey, may we be guided in each and every step that we take πŸ˜€

    1. I was shown a great beauty…something I will never forget. To be in the right place within myself, and to realise I have touched that place, was a very humbling experience.
      And thank you, for sharing my journey in finding that place πŸ™‚

  2. Just checking in again with you Mark.. wishing you well for the rest of August.. Sending thoughts your way as your own seasons change.. πŸ™‚ Love and Blessings Sue πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you Sue, all ok down this way…er, except maybe for having to walk on the beach each day as the weather warms up for our Spring, and watch the whales and dolphins frolicking in the water. But someone has to do it πŸ˜€
      But thank you for caring. Love and blessing to you also my friend, may there be many blossoms in your seasons, for you and your garden πŸ™‚

      1. Oh Mark.. you do paint an idyllic picture of your shoreline walks.. While I have been walking through tunnels πŸ™‚ Enjoy your Spring time.. as we wind down into Autumn xx

        1. Will do thank you Sue. And I spoke too soon, we now have rain and a lovely cold snap, I got all excited with that bit of warmth but I’m now back in beanies and jackets πŸ˜€
          And those walks all have their places, even tunnels have their own energy, they ‘talk’ πŸ™‚ <3

          1. πŸ™‚ Yes they do and we are in a heat wave today.. after our windy cold snap for a week.. We make the most of every day and our now moments in the Sun.. Enjoy your days however they are spent Mark.. Hugs Sue xxx

    1. Thank you oldpoet56, it was an amazing experience. As I had said, I have ‘touched’ many things in this life, but what I felt at that moment I cannot really put into words.
      I had reached a place within to ‘see’ a spiritual truth, connect in such a way that it was an epiphany for my journey, an encounter that will guide me further, in heart and mind πŸ™‚
      Thank you again for sharing your comment, may your encounters, physical or spiritual, be a blessing also πŸ™‚

    1. My pleasure MW. Even in the words I spoke here, I couldn’t fully express that ‘connection’. There are no words to show that meaning within, it just is πŸ™‚
      And that is as it should be, to allow ‘me’ to ‘see’ is beyond mere words…it’s very much like falling in love…unless you have been there, you can never understand that immensity of its touch with the heart, as it is a part of all that we do.
      It is just so much clearer without so many fears blocking my sight, and in saying that, maybe that is its purpose, to show what is really within without those walls of fear, a glimpse of what is beyond all our journeys.
      And thank you for sharing MW, I am also looking forward to hearing your ‘connection’ with this world <3

  3. Thank you for sharing such a personal matter. Beautifully written. I’m happy the encounter gave you what you needed. Acceptance and unconditional love. Powerful Mark.

    Love & Light

    1. Thank you Vee. It was an incredible moment, to see and feel something so ‘unconditional’ was a very powerful thing indeed. And to even step through the moment and release it ‘unconditionally’ amazed me even more.
      But that was the ‘moment’. To realise by letting it go, I was putting no expectations on it.
      When it first happened, I did, out of habit, and the complications began…until I realised it was all about me, understanding what I did each time I entered into a relationship I was seeking ‘something’ within myself, whatever ‘fears’ and ‘needs’ I had attached to it.
      I no longer ‘need’ to find that any more, and accept that person for who they are, regardless if she has six arms or a purple polka dotted car or even a spider as a pet. They no longer matter.
      It is in finally accepting myself that I can finally accept another. It has taken many, many years to find this place within myself, and realise they go hand in hand. Hold onto a fear, and I will find that in another. Every single time.
      It is a truth, if I fix me…I do in fact fix the world that I am a part of. And one by one we will shine out that love and light that we then become, and begin a change within and without…they also go hand in hand.
      Thank you for sharing Vee, your blessings accepted, and given in return ‘unconditionally’ πŸ™‚

  4. I am so pleased Mark that you have shared part two with us. There is nothing quite like connecting with another soul on this level of ‘Knowing’ that you are and have been part of each other since time began.
    I loved your descriptive writing of how you both met again.
    And although your friend is going through her own rough patch right now. I feel sure there will be a part 3 when the planets align and all comes together.
    What is wonderful in all of this is that your awareness of stepping out beyond your Fear of being hurt to know that Love and that connection between souls is true and our hearts can merge as one.

    It also shows me that when we let go of desire, thinking all was not to be, when we let go how the Universe works her magic.. When we do not expect. The unexpected happens..

    I am thrilled that you have now back that Smile that makes your face ache, but more so that once again your heart is alive with that smile..

    Love and Blessings Mark.. And thank you for allowing us to share in that wonderful feeling.
    Love Sue <3

    1. Thank you Sue. I had to share the depth of what I was feeling in that connection. It never leaves you the same after it is touched…and more than that, it also gives a confidence in what is truly inside and the journey we take. All underneath this every day world, gently guiding and showing what can be in the experiences that we share.
      Mmm, part 3…I hadn’t even thought of that, simply because I felt so blessed to see what I did…and also realised that the connection gave me exactly what I needed to ‘see’ within.
      Because of where the young lady is at, I realise it is something that will take some time to go through…and…because of what I have now experienced, I’ve let it go. Yes, it did throw me initially because of how ‘we’ connected, but in hindsight I realised I was being shown the truth of unconditional love, not to put anything on that contact, and release it with the love that it gave…which was huge πŸ™‚
      As you said, if it changes, we will be guided accordingly.
      I do admit to being unsure of stepping into a relationship, simply because it has been so long I think. And I needed to ‘see’ where I was truly at within, and understand something that had been constantly ‘touching’ me in my interactions over the years.
      That condition has now been met…I’m ok. But there is one more thing that I saw within that touch, and I need to digest it for a little while because that understanding is beginning to blow me away. I need to do the Cancer thing and chew it over for a while πŸ™‚
      Unconditional love is so all encompassing…and I think I’m being asked by spirit to ‘let go’…as in stand in my Higher Self’s truth, right here, right now. And I didn’t fully understand that until now. I thought I had been.
      It’s like a disassociation from this world, but by doing so, I will actually connect much, much deeper. I’ll have to sleep on it for a bit….maybe a month or two to fully understand what I am being shown πŸ™‚
      Maybe another post down the track πŸ™‚
      Anyway my friend, thank you for sharing in my journey, your words as always are a blessing. Much love and light to you <3

      1. Yes learning to let go enables us in a way to know that in the greatest sense of things in this Universe there is no actually letting go, because we are all of us so deeply connected.. It is detaching ourselves from emotionally tying ourselves in knots.
        Unconditional love means acceptance and also no expectations, Love IS.. All there IS.. No rights or wrongs

        Understanding that and stepping back from ego and self shows us that the more we learn to let go, the more Deeper connected we become..

        This goes for all of our Human Emotions as we reconnect back to Self and our Higher Connected Selves. πŸ™‚ Sounds gobble-de- gook to anyone not understanding where we are coming from I know.. πŸ™‚ But we know what we are talking about Mark πŸ™‚ haha.. Glad we have come through our journeys to this point of our realisations πŸ™‚
        Hugs Sue <3

        1. Thank you Sue. It is good that another can hear. It is one of those reverse moments I wrote about…in letting go, I will connect even deeper. In facing our fears, it is only then that we will actually be set free.
          And I think that is what is holding me back….I can feel what is ‘there’ and I’m hesitant to step into it. A lifetime of holding ourselves in that protective mode…I think it might be time to really let it all go, this worlds bits…and step into that full truth within that I know….but cannot ‘know’ it until it is fully experienced πŸ™‚
          My ‘hatching’ feeling has come back…it always precedes…’something’. It happens when my body is adjusting to what is coming in…or what I am stepping into πŸ™‚
          Thank you kind lady, hugs gratefully received and given in return, thank you <3

    1. Thank you kindly Michele. It was such an amazing ‘touch’ that it left me breathless, and, I must admit, feeling a shift within myself in really understanding what our journey is supported by, within this world of ‘life’.
      It is a magic like no other. I feel like a kid in a toy shop, ‘touching’ all these amazing things all around.
      Thank you for sharing with me, a moment in my heart, that I will never forget πŸ™‚

  5. Dear Mark,
    I have often wondered about the “Part 2,” but knew you would share when you were ready.
    “Fool…expectations are a brace for the unwary, wanting of something that I couldn’t find in myself.
    And because of that realisation, I let it go…gently, oh so gently.
    And so in doing this, I allowed it to happen again…just by minding my own business,”
    If only we(I) could approach our life and others wit pure acceptance and without expectation. Imagine how much more peaceful we would feel.
    And then to read the gratefulness in your words makes my heart happy and gives me pause to do the same.
    Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and personal story.

    1. Thank you Michelle. It was an amazing encounter, something I will never forget.
      I’ve fallen head over heals a few times in my life…but this…I swear I was allowed to touch her soul, and ‘see’ the essence of what we are all created from.
      And it also showed me more of that unconditional acceptance. In the first instance of that contact, my head (you know, the ego thing πŸ˜€ ), started to butt in, but my higher self that I have been earnestly bringing into my life, ‘knew’ what I needed to see, and asked me to come from my heart, as I do in all my healing, and it touched that incredible connection within, a place so amazingly beautiful.
      There are not enough words in our vocabulary to describe that touch…it was instant…total…and so, so unconditional. And the utter peacefulness and inclusiveness was absolute.
      It was a beautiful blessing, to ‘feel’ such a place, and know it is within us all. And humbling to know we are all blessed with a love like nothing else in this ‘eternity’ as we are guided by it ‘down here’.
      And we are very blessed also by tripping and stumbling around down here, it is the making of that love. The more we go through, the more we are appreciative of ourselves and others, the more we build that heart within to find that love inside us. A long journey yes. But it would never be appreciated if it was just given to us, hence the journey to build that love of self by going through much pain, and slowly realising…yes, we are worth so much more, and accepting ourselves by going past our negativity and unloving feelings that we hold onto for many, many years.
      There is much hope inside us all, waiting patiently for us to love ourselves by stepping past those fears, and be embraced by an unconditional love like nothing else on this earth.
      It is my pleasure to share something that should be shared. It is by that love, an unconditional love that shows me the truth of my journey, even if it feels like I’m making a mistake, it is still the making of that love.
      If anything, by sharing this, I wish it to give others hope of what is within us all, and that this journey has great meaning, even in those times of struggle.
      Thank you for sharing this with me kind lady, it is very appreciated πŸ™‚
      Now, go give that great hunk of a man, and your children, a big hug, tell them that you love them…and feel that beautiful energy that is within that connection…it is there, always touching us in those moments to let us know it is a part of who we are πŸ™‚

    1. Most certainly Pam. And it most certainly will be a part of who I am. I wish I could show/explain what I saw and felt, it was the most incredible ‘touching’ of a very deep part of both of us.
      It was a blessing I shall never forget πŸ™‚ Thank you for sharing.

    1. Thank you Sophia. It was a very beautiful encounter, in more ways than one. I wish I could truly ‘show’ what I felt and saw within it, the world would stop all that it was doing and ‘see’ the truth that is within us all, just waiting to be free.
      Thank you for sharing πŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Healing Your Heart From Within

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading