Decided to dance a little deeper in life, and wow can spirit dance!

Sunrise

Tag: self love

Understanding!

When you are younger and trying to learn to drive a car, you focus on it day in and day out. Studying the rules, practicing driving, nervous and unsure as you hit the wrong pedal or button…again. So focused on this are you that wrong turns are common place, missing the odd stop lights or pedestrian crossing, and even forgetting to put petrol in your car, engine suddenly conking out. And always on guard for that ‘other thoughtless driver’ that may crash into you. But as time goes by you get better at understanding all those rules and regulations, you can see why they are all in place, and it all becomes second nature. And as time goes by barely a thought is needed now,  as it is fully understood.

Fear is the same.

This world will give you many nervous moments as you learn to drive ‘your’ car, it will put you in many situations so that you will get better. A stop light here, a corner there. Many other drivers crowding your road who are all trying to do the same. Blocking a movement this way or that, and sometimes cutting us off. We will even forget to fill our car occasionally as we focus on so many things.

But they will all give us something that will bring about something very, very loving and powerful. They will give us understanding…of us. And because you have understood fear, you have changed it. And we too will barely give it a thought…ever again  ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

 

 

Magical New Earth!

(This following post I shared with Barbara as a guest blogger on her topic of a Magical New Earth!)

This world is a magnificent place, many things coming together to create something so wonderful that we can go out in nature and immediately ‘feel’ its beauty and relax, ground ourselves in its energy and even come to a stop. If you close your eyes it allows a calmness, a serenity of what it is and if your not careful you will drift off into a sleep that Sleeping Beauty would be proud of.

And in this beautiful world is something else that on the surface cannot be seen. We get up each morning groaning about work and what the day will bring, let alone those things that are buried a little deeper and continuously worry us in all our waking moments. But what if I was to tell you that underneath all this is something so wonderful to be almost unbelievable.

It is true. I have seen and even touched it with my own eyes and inner being. It was beyond words it was so powerful. And had left me in tears because it had now built a new hope within, and begun a faith that this journey was not just a series of blind steps to nowhere, but a very beautifully crafted creation that had only one destination in mind. A destination that I had now seen with my own eyes.

But what purpose does this staggering around on this world have but multitudes of bumps, bruises (emotionally and physically), and an alarm clock only ever attuned to begin more of it each day. How can this be even in the same breath as what I had found.

And this was the part that staggered me when I understood. This very place is one of the greatest places to begin that journey and ‘become’ that destination. We begin it by just coming here to see and feel all that it can share with us, and each and every step will ask us a question, ‘who am I’, to which we will balk, run away or contemplate its meaning. Simply because that is our nature, the nature of a magic like no other. It wants to be found, but like all magic we must first believe in it, only then will it begin to show itself.

Each and every moment it is there, even in the simplest of things, to which can be the most profound moments as we realise what had built it. A smile will leave us speechless in its power, so much so that we cannot help but give it back. And this magic is entangled in everything…but up to us to use it in the faith it was given us.

If it is given with an intent that is wrong, by that very intent will it remove its magic and show us what we had now created. By giving from a positive intent it will increase and flow more freely. It is that balance that the entire universe is built on, understand that intent and your magic will be like an alpine mountain stream, clear, sweet and free.

And we will never understand happy unless we have experienced sadness so that we can see and understand them both. As we must do as we go through life in all those physical and emotional things that touch us in our life or with what would we compare them to. Experience is that understanding.

And in our journey we must experience this balance, it is the very thing that will allow us to truly understand the magic we have created within us. We will attempt many things that will build or destroy, and each of these actions build or diminish whatever we attempt. And in each of these movements will it create many magical emotions that will guide us to that inner place within us all. By how it has made us feel will it build within us a magic beyond words. And in each and every moment will it share so that we can become that very magic we have built. It is so natural that it will always be a part of us, and each time building on what went before.

Balance is in and of itself an understanding. You must understand who you are to find that balance. In the beginning your struggling to breath, eat and figure out who this lovely smiling face is that gives you everything while changing your nappy. And it takes many years to begin to realise the many things that happen to you have two sides. Like taking the car without asking has another side that did not seem apparent at the time…but it will when you return the car.

And just to complicate it a little further, you will also realise you are ‘different’ from everyone else, and I mean everyone. Because this very magical environment you live in is also very different from everywhere else. And this is where the magic comes into its own. You will try to integrate and balance who you are in any circumstance. It will juggle, pull, poke and prod so that you can fit…into ‘you’. Even though it feels like we need to fit into ‘them’. More magic.

You will attempt the ‘them’ for many, many years wanting to go with the flow of that mountain stream. But something keeps building dams on it and blocking forward progress. And this too is the magic of the universe. You are still too unknowing and unbalanced to go with that flow. You have to understand what you are doing isn’t going to fit. After attempt 462,837.

So, after many years, you become disillusioned, tired and just plain had enough (and remember this bit because this is where the true magic is). Your heart feels empty after all this work and nothing seems to have happened that remotely feels like magic. But this is where the magic gets serious and can see that you are now ready to attempt something that only belief can give.

An event will now stop you in your tracks, ask you look deeper into those old bits that you had covered over as not working. That place that you have avoided as useless as all it did was the opposite of what you want. The universe taught you that, if it diminishes you it doesn’t feel good and doesn’t open your flow. But here is the dilemma, you have in fact avoided it because it didn’t work…but never understood why.

Let me show you the secret of the universe…just because a car doesn’t have any fuel in its tank doesn’t mean its unusable…’understand why’ it doesn’t work and it all changes, so much so that a whole new world is open to you when you understand it just needs fuel and you can then travel far, adventure far, and touch and feel so many new things…all because you understood it.

Now when you go poking around in this ‘painful bit’ that didn’t work, like before you will feel those bits that aren’t very comfortable and want to bury them again. But be patient, this has been sitting there interfering with everything that you do. You know that because of the weight it has given you to carry because of you not understanding.

Now remember this bit, each and every thing you do understand…you let go of it. You don’t have to do anything with it because you now truly understand it. Its weight is no longer a yolk around your neck. An example…you realise the car has no petrol. You ‘understand’ that if you put petrol in it you can go anywhere to your hearts content. So you no longer give it any thought. You understand it. But if it is broken down half way to your favourite restaurant, it now becomes a weight, simply because you don’t understand why it has broken down. This can be applied to every single thing in your life.

Now back to the painful bit. Dig. And I mean dig because you have used a shovel in your coping strategies to give it a decent burial because of the pain that it caused. You know the pain, one of those magical emotions so that we can ‘see’. It’s just that this particular emotion you put very dark sunglasses on. And for the life of you, you cannot pinpoint the ‘why’ behind it, but that is only because you don’t want to remember because of its pain.

Now here is another piece of magic, the time factor in you burying it and you refacing it is intended to be a very long time. This thing has been holding you down, back and every other thing you can think of for one very good reason. The magic wants you to see and appreciate all that you have been through for this moment. It wants you to understand that this very painful journey is in fact for you. No one else, no ‘them’, no anything…but you.

The weight has made you feel inferior, lower, ungainly, and just uncomfortable as you have chipped away at it for so long. Remember the disillusionment and empty feelings, those negative feelings of self worth that held you from yourself. Well this moment is where all that magic you have created is about to come together and put so much petrol in your tank that you will now be able to travel forever.

Now I will give my ‘dug up’ bit here as an explanation. Everyone’s is different even though they all lead back to the same place in our hearts.

I had as a child ‘feared’ that my dad didn’t love me, and all through my life I ‘did’ so many things for people so that they too wouldn’t ‘not love me’. But what I didn’t realise was I had buried this, I was just being nice to people because it felt good to me and the responses from others. What I didn’t understand (and remember this fear is blocked by a very young immature mind), was the ‘why’ I had it in place. As I got older I didn’t understand my fear or why I would react to anyone who treated my ‘un-lovingly’.

Find your ‘un-lovingly’ in all your relationships. Find that common denominator and you are standing at magics doorstep. Be courageous and take that final step. Allow it was a long time ago and the X on your map may be a little off. But you are in magics ground now, and it will lead you to your X and begin your dig for something that will change you forever, as any treasure will.

And when you finally uncover that last piece of dirt, allow light into this very dark place, you will for the first time in your life ‘look back’ at what created it. And it will shock you to tears because you can finally, truly see what it is, and the why behind all that you have been in this life. And in that one moment you understand. You see why you have blocked it, why you have become what you are, and why it was needed so that you can now understand fully this journey and why you are here.

I have seen faces so profoundly moved in this moment. Hearts suddenly opened beyond words. And the flame…a flame finally lit by a magic that sits quietly within us all, just waiting for this moment to open that treasure and sing. It will from this moment on shine very brightly, beautifully showing what we have become because we have dared this journey to find something so profound…and finally become what we had always sought…that magic within. It is then that we begin a new journey, this time on a very well lit and loving path home.

Barbara asks what it is that I would envision as ‘a new you and a new life’. Actually I know that we will all become a new us and a new life from this magic that is a part of all we are. It will not matter what happens ‘on top’ because underneath it all is something that will renew all that we are regardless.

But if I was to envision anything, it would be that an event has occurred to ask us truly what has meaning for us, to look deeper in our ‘life’ and see that many things that we held no longer seem to have the importance that they once did, and many other things that didn’t have meaning, now do. That is the magic that we have created within us, it is asking us to look just a little deeper and dare to take this step towards it…for us…and for us all to become the change that we envision ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋



Me@ErickErick
Just Erick (his story in the post below), and I chatting eye to eye about our magic! 😀 🦜





Empathy, a reply to Momus!

My return reply to Scottishmomus’s bullshite-and-empathy

It is very simple Anne Marie, and also quite profound. You have been brought up to be a caring, loving person. Simply because that was what you were shown or its your reaction to what you felt was the opposite of that, being brought up by those you love (sometimes mum, sometimes dad, or both), who you feel have treated you rather poorly and so you try to compensate for that.


And then we project what we are out into the world. You want the world to be a caring, beautiful place…but along comes those that (and as the song says), ‘shat’ on everything they touch and practically force you to live in it.
Your life steps into what it loves to do, teaching, caring, showing and even writing that what you express deep within.


The kids, even though they can be quite draining, leave you with a hope that they have heard you. Will grow up into a world with at least your empathy and care so that you can feel you have achieved something by giving them a start in this world. And they do the one thing in your ‘communicating’ that is an absolute must, it is the other half of communicating and probably the most important bit…is that they ‘listen’.


But here’s the 1st rub, ‘they’, as in those that like to ‘shat’ everywhere…don’t ‘care’ like you do, won’t ‘listen’ to anyone like you, will not ‘try’ like you do…simply because they have not been ‘taught’ as you have or are reacting to their upbringing. In fact, that pride of the world, that thing they call governments etc only attract one type of person…the controller, manipulator…to achieve only one end, to become everything for everybody while feathering their own nest. Every person that I know does not trust them because of that falseness. It is an instant signal they show that puts us on guard…they smile.


The 2nd rub is also very simple, they have been allowed to set up this ‘government’ in a way that they imply your absolute right to make choices by voting. And as soon as you do they then counter that by ‘party lines’ and ‘your choice’ has to follow those lines, even if they are the most honest person in the world. The system is corrupt and I don’t mean just the feathering the nest, I mean morally it is a cesspit.

So you are in fact beating your head against a wall, splattering your hard built sanity into a void of idiots that have absolutely no idea how to apply ’empathy’ because they fear it. They have been brought up in such a way that they wall it up and block its appearance, the exact opposite of you, and focus on ‘their’ ideas.

The only way to ‘live’ in this environment is to come from where your heart is. But to do this you have to let go all of ‘their’ stuff. Just focus on what you believe and give it out. Ignore where they are at…totally. Just give you out to those that want to listen.

And the reason that they win all the time is simply because they browbeat you into submission, screaming and yelling absolute garbage to drown out something that they are afraid of. The only thing that will beat this system is to run for a position that will do one thing and one thing only. Allow the people to have a direct say on decisions that go through parliament, whether by computer once a year on the main topics (that must be stuck by like a referendum). Which can only ever be changed by putting it out to a referendum.

And trust me, the howls from those parliamentarians would be heard from around the world, you would be removing the one thing that keeps that control in their pockets. The money ‘outside’ would no longer have anyone to corrupt to get through their needs and wants (they can’t pay off us millions of people). Hey, for me even suggesting such a thing I might suddenly disappear they are that afraid of this.

Now some sanity. And this can be a little confronting my friend. Those fears that we hold (and I mean all of us), are the very things that drive us in all that we do.

An example: (and I make a great crash test dummy here 🙂 ). I hated my father because I thought he didn’t love me. Fullstop. (I, and everybody else in their own way, lock in whatever their fears are by about 8 or 9 years old. This you can find in all the text books).

I thought I was unlovable so to compensate for that, and in all my relationships I wanted my partner to show that love, I expected them to respond to my overtures (pull out chairs, give flowers and poetry etc), so that I could feel that love…but all it ever did was reach a point that they felt smothered and pushed me away. I had in fact ‘created’ my fear. And we all do it. We ‘project’ our fear by trying to not have it happen.

I had spent most of my life ‘projecting’ because I knew it was everybody else’s fault. How could it be mine with all that I was doing. And this is what we all do in our own ways.

In your case you know you have a great idea, it is fair and gives a real opportunity to everyone to be part of something wonderful. But your great idea for everyone does what my wanting love (also my version), does for me. It puts a lot of people ‘against’ what I am after because it also presses their ‘fear’ buttons.

Now the hard bit, I’m asking you to find that bit in your life that keeps upsetting you. All the ways you feel that you have been treated badly and upsets you more than anything. And this will be in all your relationships, mum, dad, partner, your children and maybe even especially those children you teach.

Your trying to give something but you are not being heard, trying to show something but are being ignored, trying to help but are being shunted, pushed, and relegated to the background.

Which part upsets you, what relationships reject who you are. In there is your answer. That very rejection is the very thing that drains you. You are trying to give from who you are but what you are giving is being shunned. That very thing you are trying to give is that inner core of who you are, it is the love you have built forever and it is being rejected. It is upsetting, it is painful, it is very distressing because you have opened your heart to share something that you ‘know’, and it is given with that love. But to have that ‘love’ slapped back in your face is a shock.

And the drain goes on. While ever our fear is with us, we will always react the same way. It is something that we have anchored into who we are. And each time it rears its head we go on the defensive and it drags us downward some more.

A second thing I will mention here is we are all nervous when we try something new, it is natural to be fearful of ‘new’ circumstances, it is a safety mechanism so we don’t do anything dangerous. So new job, new adventure, new relationship…we tend to be on guard until we get our answers to the circumstance and this allows us to relax, be at ease and no longer worry about that circumstance. It becomes second nature so we no longer give it any thought.

But our life fears have had no answer for years and years, we don’t understand the ‘why’ simply because they were locked into place by a very immature, childish emotional mind. And the only way that mind could operate was to block that horrible fear, put up that wall so that we had a coping mechanism in place to handle those moments that bring it into the open.

But each time that fears raises its head we will do some of the most crazy things…it is the child reactions that we have put in place all those years ago and reinforced as we grew up…but still not understood. So each time we enter that fear, regardless if its a life fear or scared from the first time jumping out of a plane…they all do one thing.

They put us on guard, they stress the body, they trigger the fright or flight syndrome which all does one thing…it begins to fire the adrenal gland. And how do we feel after being frightened or stressed (physically or emotionally), it tires us out, it drains us and leaves us in almost a state of shock if it is a large enough scare.

Combine that with a circumstance like your fight to get some sanity into a governing system that is built like a brick wall, and most certainly your heart and mind will become drained and leave you with a feeling of hopelessness.

Just remember there are ‘natural’ fears and there are ‘built’ ones. The natural ones are more brief, easier to get over and leave us wiser because we see and understand them. It is the built one that constantly drains us, as we never understand the ‘why’ of our reactions.

Now my fear, once I understood what drove it, became like the natural ones…because I understood it. And like those other natural ones, once understood they no longer have purpose and they lose that power over us. I can see that I don’t have to hold them anymore because they are no longer a danger to me.

My dad did love me…in his own way, simply because it was all he was ever taught. And even if he was the biggest heathen on this earth, he still did not know how to love any other way but what he was shown by his parents and his environment. It didn’t mean he was wrong…I thought he was. It didn’t mean he couldn’t love…I thought he couldn’t. It didn’t make him not my dad…I thought that. And I dragged it all kicking and screaming into my adulthood trying to make everyone else fit the bill. It is always at ‘my end’ that I have to deal with.

Note: After ranting and raving about how bad my father was to a friend one day, she slowly turned to me and said: ‘he’s been dead 13 years, who’s holding onto what and causing you grief?’

(I wouldn’t speak to her for weeks….but dammit she was so right 🙂 )

Once I finally understood, everything changed. And I mean everything. After seeing what I had blocked all my life, after that final admittance to myself that he did in fact love me, the ‘let go’ of so much that I had held inside, I began to ‘see’ the truth around me. I was so focused by eyes that were shuttered by my fear that in that ‘let go’ I finally saw things that were tarnished by those beliefs and realised I was living a lie in everything I did it was that profound.

And once I saw that I also realised that there was soooo much stuff that I was holding onto that was just rubbish. Worrying about this or that and now realising it was a safety mechanism. Gave me something to focus on…so that I wouldn’t have to face those things I didn’t want to.

And over the years afterwards I have become new. I have ‘created’ a new life, something so much more natural because it isn’t forced, no longer built by those fears and the reactions that it triggers. Shoot momus, I even had to learn to walk again because of that ‘let go’. You relax for the very first time afterwards but your legs (and the rest of your body) is so used to being a certain way that it now ‘feels’ so different.

Oh, nearly forgot, because of that ‘let go’ the rest of the world no longer matters. Yes I care very much about it all and those in it…but…I did me first (finally), found what was wrong with me and healed it…otherwise I am only giving out that bent fearful version and actually adding to the cacophony that is already there. Do me and then I can give out that healed loving version.

Once you see and understand those fears that we hold, we then realise that this conditional world is here for a very important reason. We must experience and feel each opposite feeling or to what can we judge each of those individually by? It is that journey to touch, feel and understand all those opposites so that the good and bad, the happy and the sad, the joy and the anger and many other opposites all have one very distinctive purpose. They show us…us. They allow us to experience, feel, reason and argue until that wall we hold loses its argument with us and it comes crumbling down. And we finally see a love and empathy that it has blocked forever…inside of us. And in doing so we realise that much of what went before was a great teacher but the wisdom we have now gained no longer needs those things so they are released.

And with that wisdom, and because of all that has been experienced, we can now see it within others because of their thinking and actions. And in the beginning we try to help them through this world to reach where we are (like the children in your classes…you know, when you finally see that light go on in their eyes when that type of math’s problem gives them that aha moment), but the beauty of it is that they can only hear what they are ready for so that the adventure is a very personal, achievable, and oh so loving thing to break through and realise that it is you and you only that has created this beauty inside. No one else can be blamed or interfere because of that…and that only allows one thing to happen, a love and belief in yourself.

That ending is perfection in itself. And all because you have endured a great journey, achieved something against some of the most tremendous odds, believed when there seemed to be no ending, and found a treasure that when you finally see it, will bring you to tears. Not painful ones from a tearing heart, but ones that finally are built from a love that finally see’s a light where none had been seen before.

Become that light and it will shine out as a beacon of truth forever and attract accordingly.

I look forward to Prime Minister Momus and finally someone I would vote for gladly, someone who has that light that gives hope for the future, simply because I can see her heart and know where she has been to find it 💜

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