Decided to dance a little deeper in life, and wow can spirit dance!

Sunrise

Doubt!

As children, those we love and look up to pass on to us all we know, those beliefs, wisdom, habits…and unintentionally…their fears.
And through it all, those years of us being raised we ingrain those fears, unsure of what they are but building many doubts because we cannot understand them, and after years upon years it becomes us.
Always chaining us to whatever we do. A heart tested but our love never truly found because of that wall we build to protect it from those doubts.
But…without doubt, how can we ever appreciate what we do when one day we dare them, find courage to challenge them…and beat them.
And in doing so break free from their prison and can finally love us, believe truly in us because we did dare them.
But why?
Really why?
Simply because we dare to look at ourselves, to test those doubts, afraid that they might be true so ever struggle with that moment.
That child’s eyes…and heart…inside us…IS the one that ever avoids that moment. We don’t want to see that a doubt could be true.
And while ever it stays unknown, it will be that doubt.
While ever we hold it at bay, it cannot be understood.
Bring it closer, dare to hold it in your light.
See it for what it is, and it will be understood.
Understand it and you will see it is indeed held by a frightened child…even though they are now adult.
What do you say to a frightened child?
You calm them because you ‘know’ the fear is unfounded because it isn’t being seen clearly.
How can you help them see that it is unfounded?
You explain it to them in a way they can understand.
How…and then, how to give them that courage to face it?
You go with them through it, share those moments in heart and mind. Get them to express what they feel and why so that they can truly see and understand.
And like any map you explain, many pathways are there but only one will take us to our destination.
And this destination is…love…ours. The one we didn’t understand because we were afraid to see it.
And in that understanding you will see a light come on in their eyes, an understanding light.
And a freedom to that child in your heart, and a let go so that you can finally remove that separation…and be just you…a completion, so that you can see and appreciate what you have now become.
You cannot see and understand the ‘one’, until you experience and feel that separation.
And like any of those beautiful jigsaws in our lives, we must understand them all individually first…anger, happiness, doubt, and on through them all so that we can create that ‘one’, become that ‘one’ love that is a part of us all. To stand back and finally see that it wasn’t just those individual pieces but what it built in completing them.
It doesn’t matter what color you are, what intentions you hold or what fear sings in your blood.
Your heart ‘knows’ what is right, you just have to ask yourself its truth. Believe what it is asking you to see.
But first the doubt…so that we will dare to see that love.
Our love…
God’s love ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½

Very Important Note: My mention of ‘walking them through their fears’ is for that child within us adults. A real child does not have the ‘life’ experiences yet to understand their fears. Now don’t get me wrong, it is very important to give your child permission to be able to talk about things, especially their fears…but…you cannot force it, they will not understand. In fact it can be detrimental because they will feel that they have failed somehow in not understanding and compound an already confusing thing called life that they go through. Us adults already struggle, so a child would be almost lost trying to understand. And ‘life’ is already at a pace that it can be slowly understood and bring about those changes as they have the courage to face those many aspects that they are. We are their support system for this journey…and yes, we wobble…often. But you have to laugh (and appreciate), when they say something…and teach us ❀️

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30 Comments

  1. I don’t know how I missed this post. So glad I found it, Mark. We really do have to raise and take good care of that little child that lives inside of us. We have to give it courage and release the doubts that society and some bad parenting have put there. It takes a lifetime doesn’t it, but well worth the work.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      It most certainly is worth it Michele, awaiting us with open arms is indeed a love beyond words. And that child within that has kept that separation slowly opens their own arms so that those hugs become truer and truer. Finally opening that wall around our hearts by understanding those doubts and freeing ourselves to that self love. And on that day, and simply because we have removed our doubtful (conditional) love, we can then love ourselves and others unconditionally. A lifetime of work…yes…but an eternity of profound beauty…oh yes indeed. Thank you for sharing yours kind lady πŸ˜€β€οΈπŸ™πŸ½

  2. Anonymous

    Love your post Mark, always sharing with us more ways to look at our challenges and discover that love! Doubt is actually good to understand how it really acts as a guard protecting the wall around our heart… especially when they’re dressed up in all their beautiful clothes (London beefeatersπŸ’‚β€β™€οΈπŸ’‚β€β™€οΈ) It gives the impression doubt is needed! Oh how we’ve set the world up to fool us! Nearly there though, I feel longer pauses of peace and knowing everything’s ok❀️ Thankyou Mark for shining brightly, hope you’re looking forward to a good winter? Or does it remain rather warm? Sending love❀️

    • Anonymous

      IAM Barbara, by the wayπŸ’ƒπŸΌ

      • Mark Lanesbury

        Thank you for this, I was verifying you by your I.P. address…but it changed. Sometimes your icon comes through fine, like in my last post. And the next anonymous again. Just put ‘from Barbara’ in your comments, mind you I can usually ‘feel’ you, there isn’t another human with a heart like yours dear lady. Big hugs πŸ€£β€οΈπŸ™πŸ½

    • Mark Lanesbury

      I always feel much warmer when I know a heart is healing Barbara. Heart season is all year round πŸ˜€β€οΈ Everything we do down here challenges us, especially where your journey is currently at. The doubt would seem very large and confronting after Tom’s passing. But he is just giving you his greatest love, to allow you to fully find you and be that beauty of unconditional love. A greater love he cannot give…or you in finding it within you. A big hug dear lady and faith that you are getting stronger, in you and your heart. Much love my friend, and faith in your journey πŸ˜€β€οΈπŸ™πŸ½

  3. Thank you Mark for the wisdom you always bring. And I would and still do doubt myself at times, but not as often as I did.. πŸ™‚

    Learning to nurture that scared inner child and stand confident within our moment of what ever fear is testing us, is a process as we learn how to listen and follow our heart… And when we learn to do that.. We find our courage as we lose our fears and doubts. Because we learn then to trust in ourselves .. and our higher guidance.

    Also great Note about the little ones and their fears…

    Sending thoughts your way Mark…. Have a lovely Weekend ❀️ take care βœ¨πŸ’›πŸ¦‹πŸ’–

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Sue, and it does all have a great purpose as we learn to build that inner courage and love to brave those many doubts our fears bring. It is a long, long journey too, but that also brings such a profound understanding when we see and feel its answer many years later, to know that it all did have a very beautiful purpose and all that we have done, even those things that seem to be a horror or serve no purpose…did in fact become a part of the making of us.

      And the note was very important, any time I touch on children Spirit makes a very powerful loving statement of what they, and us did in the past, is truly for. And we are their guardians…yes, damaged ones at times…but we do, do this with a great love. We are teaching them, even if we unintentionally pass on our fears too. That has great purpose also, in this journey one side of us cannot be known and understood without experiencing the other side too, in those many opposites that we are.

      Thank you for sharing kind lady, I pray that your inner child is at rest too, with the love you have discovered on your journey πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½

      • Thank you dear Mark. Yes that inner child us in a much better place today. She us nurtured, loved, respected and feels much more worthy…
        Thank you dear friend 😘 ❀ πŸ’•

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Likewise dear lady, for also opening my understanding further. May that inner smile found go on and on πŸ˜€β€οΈπŸ™πŸ½

  4. As I read your beautifully written words, my thoughts wandered as a educator. We are walking the same path yet of different age. As an educator, I look into their innocent but reluctant eyes and encourage them to put one foot in front of the other. I can feel their fear and the language barrier because they have not fully grasp the understanding of English, let alone their own language. As an Empath, I tend to absorb their emotions which is always an overwhelming experience for me but a gentle reminder that I too feel the same. Nonetheless, trust and leading by example is all I can do but I always let them know that I also have fears and doubts about the world. Being relatable with love, kindness and understanding is a way for us all to take that first step. Thank you for this moment πŸ’•πŸ•ŠπŸ’•

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Linda, it is those teachers that guide them the most (beyond parents of course). You out the front day in and out that gives them the courage to ‘dare’ their bits. It always amazes me when I look back and see that those teachers have to be so much to each and every child. Each and every stumble, emotionally or physically, you are first contact for most of the week. You have to be ‘everything’ in so many ways. I personally don’t think I could do that, I had enough trouble bringing up just two πŸ˜€ And being an empath has its own journey within yourself, let alone so many on a daily basis. And if the empathy within your poems are anything to go by dear lady, you gave them great love to begin and guide a very big journey for them all. Well done and thank you ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½

      • Thank you Mark πŸ™

        • Mark Lanesbury

          And thank you Linda. A star in the heavens a soul does make…but especially a heartfelt one. Thank you ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½

  5. It is stunning how you wrote this here. Yes, as a child you rely on your parents what’s right or wrong… also regarding your own person. You take over their definitions of you and how you should be or what you are supposed to become. That child lives on while we are growing up. And later we are adults, take over what we were taught, and treat that inner child again the same way. We don’t even it… until our awareness grows because something in us says, that is not who you are. That is the beginning of really growing up.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Yes, we are a good part our parents Erika, and a little dose of individuality just to make sure we can diverge away from complete copies. But it is just that unintentional passing on of our parents fears, simply because they have not resolved them yet by the time we are born. But that very thing has great purpose, it begins those doubts so that we will test them as life goes on. Dare us to want more than the wall we have built for protection. Our hearts want to be loved, we can feel it…but we dare not look in case there really is something wrong with us, that belief all through our lives from their birth in our childhood. But love wants us to look, wants to show us our truth so we constantly attract that, that is always an on guard part of us in case it sneaks up on us. We do it so often we don’t even realize it anymore…unless someone touches that part of us to trigger those doubts or fears. And until we are pushed so hard that we cannot do this anymore, can’t bear the pain that it gives, and forces us to look, really look and ask ourselves why, why is this so painful, what is it that can make us so hurt…and finally that bubble bursts…because we dared it, and shows us that child’s hidden fear inside us…but now seen and understood by an adult…us. And we finally see that it was indeed a child’s fear…but one that we have held too. And once acknowledged releases us from the separation of that protective wall so that we can be rejoined with that child so that we are whole again. That entire journey from beginning to end shows us many, many things in our emotional world and especially those conditions we had placed on ourselves through those doubts and fears. But it is in knowing them, understanding them that we can finally resolve that separation within, that wall we had built so that we could see what we were…and what we now can become. For the first time ever we can now finally see the forest for the tree’s, understand that what we had ever held was never perfect because of that separation…but in understanding it we can now repair what was found and become something so beautifully perfect because we can now see it for what it is…and in that very act…let it all go and just be in its perfection ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½

      • In the end, our incarnations come all down to the same statement: To remember who we really are. In order to do that we must forget only to discover ourselves much clearer than ever before. We need the darkness to recognize our light. We cannot see it surrounded by light. That is why we have come down here.
        With this understanding, we are not that much afraid anymore to face hardships but know that the reward is already waiting in the form of coming closer that real Me that I am – to the love and power that created me and that I am part of.

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Yes indeed Erika, to understand unconditional love by being conditional love. When I visited ‘up there’ it is so beautiful and profound…because I have been down here. It is that amazing thing like as a teenager we think we are happy…but the first time you fall in love…everything changes beyond anything we could have imagined, it is beyond so much and must be felt to understand it. Up until I did experience that first love it was all just words…but to touch it was something words could not truly describe. And unconditional love…it goes waaaaaay beyond that, I truly cannot express it in a way that could do it justice. And yes, you say it well, it is always there within us dear lady, we just cover it for just a while so we can see and appreciate what is there waiting for us. Well said πŸ˜€β€οΈπŸ™πŸ½

          • I can only imagine what it must feel like to feel that lighness again and see the light so much brighter than we imagined it while being here. I don’t want to leave, but I am not afraid to do so. I want to enjoy each and every moment until the time, only to say: Yes, I had it all!

            • Mark Lanesbury

              Lovely words Erika, and like your singing…it is in really ‘letting go’ and immersing yourself in your singing, it touches every part of you in doing so. As is that love. You are open, free and just ‘there’ with no longer a connection to down here…you stand in it, by letting it go. And yes, because I have touched ‘up there’…I was so stunned by just how much I truly now appreciate ‘down here’. It takes on a whole new meaning ❀️
              P.S. Just finished listening to your singing…and yes, you did let go, especially in ‘I would do it again’…I wonder if that is prophetic? Well done my friend! πŸ˜€β€οΈπŸ™πŸ½

  6. Your words always get to the root…the heart. I love reading them over and over because as I change I understand them more and more. Daring to look and understanding have changed my world this year. Thank you kindly my friend β™₯️

    • Mark Lanesbury

      And thank you kind lady, it is a beautiful thing to see a heart open, an eye light up in understanding and know that another step has been taken to be closer to that love and happiness we have always sought. Keep daring Danielle, the light will only get brighter each step you take πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½

  7. Thank you for this reminder to take care and be kind to the injured child within us all. They deserve so much love and understanding from our grown up selves. May we all be the best parent to them now πŸ’žπŸ™πŸ₯°

    • Mark Lanesbury

      It is a very big journey Val, and I dare anyone to say ‘they’ve got this’ because of its twists and turns. But thankfully it is those very things that gain us the wisdom to finally see within and truly let it all go into that unconditional love that is all around. Great share dear lady, may we indeed be that best parent we can be πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½

  8. Every time I read your blog posts I am left with so many thoughts running through my mind, and yet, I have no words! You are a talented writer and have so much insight into the psyche and into people… into who we are to our core, it’s astonishing! Thank you for your wisdom and sensitivity and kindness. πŸ™

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Ah dear Tamara, I thank you very much for your kind words. And it is indeed an amazing journey, a journey that touches so much in so many ways. But the most powerful part of it all is as we face ‘us’, there is nothing more profound in understanding who and what we are. I only know what I do because I did that ‘dark night of the soul’. Spirit asked me to face myself and understand so that I could share the love that I found through it. If we ask anybody about their profession they will know so much, simply because of their learning and experience. I was asked to go somewhere that opened me to those experiences and given great learning of the heart. Not the thump, thump one…but the very emotionally profound one. And yes, everyone is on a very different journey…but they all use their heart, and heading to the same destination. Your journey, regardless of its path, is taking you there too. Believe in your heart also, it is building something very wonderful and you will never regret a single step…even the hard one’s…because they all teach us, refine us, to become that love πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½

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