Decided to dance a little deeper in life, and wow can spirit dance!

Sunrise

Ego…Life’s Test Pilot!

A reply to a lovely Daily Kind Quote from Erika…’By understanding the ego, we overcome it’.

To be honest, it is just fear speaking the loudest that keeps the ego so prominent. We speak from within our joy, our sorrows and all other parts of us…its just that fear has a louder voice than most because its sits right up the front, even though we press it down. It wants to be healed so it becomes the prominent part of us, questioning in all that we do. It has such power simply because that is what we give it. It’s almost like a survival technique, we are always on guard to protect ourselves from those fearful things, afraid to die so it stands up front and center in our lives.

But like love always does, it attracts to us, or inside us, whatever we think about the most so that we can experience and understand them, release those conditions of self we place on them and become that beautiful love, the unconditional love waiting behind it all.

If we are madly in love we stand above it all, that overpowering feeling that we can conquer anything while holding that beauty inside us…the ego, even then, swinging us up but still challenging us when we say to that love we have found…I can give you anything, promising the world…and become challenged by those very words as that relationship dares that very ego within us. But in each we slowly succumb to our failures as the ego reasserts itself.

Or are they failures? How can they be if in experiencing them we become wiser, seeing a truth within ourselves so that any future mistake need not be made. In that the ego is an aid, challenging us to understand and move beyond, better prepared for that next duel within.

It was an interesting part of my journey, as I understood me through my fears…the ego became less and less. As self love wrapped its arms around me, my confidence grew…I could finally see that inner truth that I was. And ego, its still there…but in my understanding it lost its power. Appreciated for what it gave me, poked me as needed…but like all those things we climb in our hearts, once conquered we let them go but know they have built what we have become.

In fact, as I understood my fears all of those negative aspects of myself became less…they too had lost their power…I had let them go. Are we so powerful that we can be and do anything? Mountains climbed through found love, finally reaching that peak within us that unconditional love is so that we can appreciate them all for allowing their wisdom in experiencing them?

In reality it is in experiencing them all that we finally understand us…and then let it all go, all of it. It has all shown us what unconditional love is not, by going through it all, and left the only possible answer remaining, that understanding of what unconditional love really means.

And as Erika so beautifully said to me in reply to my comment to that post…

‘That’s the big insight, I think. I see the ego not necessarily as my enemy but rather as an instrument that pushes me through my lessons. Once we can differ between the ego self and our true self that is the ultimate breakthrough’.

Wise words dear lady, may we experience them all to become the beauty of that true self, that unconditional love within us all ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

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39 Comments

  1. What a wonderful and thought-provoking post. You think deeply and are able to articulate such complex thoughts so eloquently. It’s a joy to read and learn from you! πŸ™

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Tamara, I have been privileged to fall on my face many times and finally ‘see’ below life’s ripples. And each time I experienced a fall Spirits wisdom would settle on my heart…unconditionally. How can I not pass that love and guidance on to others. Enjoy the journey dear lady, even in its falls it gets better and better πŸ˜€β€οΈπŸ™πŸ½

  2. Ego is a complex thing. I typically see it as a protective slice of selfishness. However, your linking of ego and fears has me thinking because you have gone deeper. Not only thanks for stimulating the thought, but your personal approach to the topic adds great value.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you kindly Frank, I saved you from the spam folder, I too check it often because of the mayhem that seems to occur regularly. But interestingly it is rarely because of that spam folder, I get the occasional one like you just now but they just seem to really disappear for ‘whatever’ reasons. Probably an introduced parking fine we don’t know about and they are being towed away πŸ˜‚
      And it is an interesting topic that old ego, it challenges us in so many ways and directions it does make it difficult to pinpoint its definition…but…it does indeed test us in so many ways so that it main purpose is make us ask those questions of ourselves. Just as long as we can find a holiday from it occasionally. Thank you for sharing kind sir, have a great day πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  3. And breathe… πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ Thankyou for kind and wise words Mark. In the midst of my sadness not being with tom, IAM realising nothing really matters as it doesn’t bother me as much as was always afraid of! Being a step mum carry’s fearful baggage but actually when shit hits the fan, IAM realising it’s not about me, and can see it says more about others and I can enjoy more fully a new relationship with Tom beyond dimensions and of course myself! Yes I go through the emotions but I’m no longer a shaking wobble. I’m actually getting through this. Slowly slowly and I remain grateful for all the people who do want to love me and be part of my life! Much love to you Mark❀️

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Yes, yes, yes Barbara. To let go of expectations, yours or others is indeed that let go. This is what many, and especially ‘family’, poke their fingers towards you and say you must do this or that, and can even be with the best of intentions…but you must do you, with the love and integrity that you are…and say ‘thank you but no’, and they must respect that. And if they don’t, it is indeed ‘their’ problem. Everybody tries to pick their jaws up off the ground when I say that…but each and every time you say ‘yes’ to those million requests of this or that…you aren’t being you. And of course there are many occasions when you will do something or help because it has been asked with love and you know it isn’t a fearful projection by another. But you will know the one’s I mean, where you are left ‘holding the bag’ of their emotional problem passed onto you because of ‘their’ frustration, anger, jealousy, deceit and a million other bits. Walk the walk dear lady, not angrily or fearful yourself, but with that love you are now finding, the new place where you are no longer holding anything but that peace and love you are becoming. You know when it is time to be you, you begin to see you in others, those times where you did say yes and felt nothing but a further diminishing of who you are. It is a hard journey dear lady, but its destination is worth every moment. Be glad of that, and especially of what Tom shares with you to take you there. Big hug my friend, and yes, breeeeathe…lots. Your coming home…to you πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  4. A beautiful post dear Mark… It’s our own inner movie of good cop bad cop playing or as I like to imagine ms miserable and ms amazing playing… Yes providing us the adventure in which to realise we play the leading role with our choices every moment! It took me a long time and even now I catch myself slipping into the game… especially when it is a loved one tempting us to play over and over again! What do we choose? Thankfully I can just embrace it all and release more and more of the fear of not being enough just as I am… etc… Children will play as they say, which mine are now appearing in my movieπŸ™„ Another testing time that I wonder how much more my heart needs to break open❀️ Thankyou mark for your thought provoking posts especially on this full moon eve❀️ ever helping the shine a light on our darkness that awaits our visit to the depths of our magnificence within❀️ much love ❀️

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Ah dear Barbara, you are truly being asked to find you…but in such a moment as this it can be a difficult journey. But it is in these moments that we break free. And as hard as this all is for you trying to grieve your loss of Tom, he is giving you this time so that you can find you among it all. The first and foremost will be that now you will see many things that no longer have much meaning compared to your loss…and let them go. Your time loses its power and the rush, rush to do this and that will be let go…so that you can now take that time for you. A walk to take a break, alone or with friends. But among it all is the ego and those emotions that drag us to test us in all of these circumstances…and that one that always brings up our fears. And you will probably find that your loss will be a part of that. So just deal with you beautiful lady, go through your loss, see what it all means to you as your heart feels it all as it normally would and Tom will speak to you to help you in all that you do. This is a powerful time, and with great love it is asking you to feel it all so that your heart can be healed in many ways and set you free. Don’t ‘try’ to force anything, just feel it all as it comes, understand what you can then let it go. The important bits will always speak to you, and the love within it will always speak back. A very big hug dear lady and much love and light sent to you…and breeeathe ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  5. An excellent post dear Mark… You said it so perfectly Mark

    “In reality it is in experiencing them all that we finally understand us…and then let it all go, all of it. It has all shown us what unconditional love is not, by going through it all, and left the only possible answer remaining, that understanding of what unconditional love really means.”

    So, so, true… for had we not learnt from Ego and then learnt to let it go… We would then not know the meaning of unconditional…
    When we observe ourselves from this view point we see how puffed up our Ego selves were… I see the Ego creeping back to try and take control many times…

    But having learnt how to let go, I now see it and can at least acknowledge its presence without allowing it to manipulate my inner thinking as it once did..

    Sounds a strange conversation doesn’t it, as we converse with one’s self… But our Ego keeps us in those fearful moods of doubt and uncertainties, it keeps us thinking we are lacking, in lack..
    When we truly See ourselves and all that we are… And when we then truly love ourselves for that which we are.. regardless! of what anyone else thinks….. Because letting go of Ego means you do not care what others think…. For you are whole and complete within yourself, for you have made peace with who you are..

    Life then begins…. for you then see the world through different eyes…

    Much love dear Mark… Loved your post my friend ❀️ πŸ™‚ πŸ™

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Haha, do I hear the words of a traveller, that soul who has found meaning in this journey dear Sue πŸ˜€.

      It does indeed question us in all that we do, make us doubt each and every step…otherwise we would accept everything at each moment, even though it could be a lie. Doubt is the making of us…unless it becomes unbalanced. Like anything out of balance it becomes almost an illness to which we must see also and dare to bring it back into that balance that love is.

      And it is a strange conversation, there is more than one of us in there. From our ‘selves’ on through to our higher selves in guidance, then even Spirit with its many gifts helps us through such wonders. Even God touched me…just once…never forgotten. And I think because His impact was too powerful with the love (or maybe anger, depending on the circumstance), would push us beyond our adventure and forever change us. I had already found Him in other ways so He was only reinforcing what was already there. He wants us to find us…unconditionally. Finding all these many parts of us is just a guidance, we still have to be the one to say something is true and change to suit that belief…until we doubt if from another adventure and change again. We are indeed a chameleon, forever changing but with a destination in mind, that love and happiness we ever search for.

      And our entire journey is through that finding of that love within us individually…it is like my little saying that if I give you $500 every week for nothing you will spend it at will, no respect for its worth. But if you have to work for that $500 you hesitate in what you are spending it on, seeing that it has worth before you purchase it because of the effort you have put into gaining it, appreciate it all the more because of that part of self we have put into it. How much more will we appreciate that unconditional love when we find it, after a lifetime of looking we finally see its truth, and all that we have put into finding it…and understand that each and every step has indeed been needed and required to make us exactly as we are so that we could indeed find it.

      And yes dear lady, once we are found within the world does indeed look so very different. Our filters of fear have been removed and it all takes on so much more beauty, simply because we are now looking at it completely differently. No more distraction from being ‘on guard’ to our fears, we are now looking from a very relaxed and peaceful way. We get close when we go out in nature and sit by ourselves, close our eyes and just listen. So much is there…but try doing that in central London 🀣. Mind you, with practice we can. As you would do in your gardens dear lady. In heart you are there each time you step out your door and go into that green magic πŸ˜€
      Love and light to you also Sue and thank you for sharing kind lady, may your journey always know that love ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • WOW… such a great reply Mark… yes so many of our higher selves so many aspects of Oneness… Loved how you said we are like a chameleon, So true.. always changing to suit our background.. πŸ˜‰
        And I am never more close than when out in nature… Be it breathing in the wonder, or getting my nails dirty …. πŸ™‚
        Life shows us within everything how its all connected..
        And we for the most part just forgot to connect….
        But once we do, and especially when we connect with our hearts… then yes,,,, ‘ So much is there”…
        Many thanks dear Mark…. for that wonderful reply….
        Enjoy the rest of your week my friend
        ❀️ πŸ™‚ ❀️

        • Mark Lanesbury

          And you enjoy your week too dear lady, dirty nails and all. This life gives us everything so that we can ‘see’ and become that perfection that love is. It just takes a little time to clear our hearts to really enjoy the view πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  6. Well said my friend. Each journey is different and each has its own value. Love should always be the goal and the reward.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you kindly Pam, and well said dear lady. And there are so many differences, and ever with that questioner within. And the biggest ‘question’ is always looking for that missing piece, that love and happiness we ever look for πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  7. “It wants to be healed so it becomes the prominent part of us, questioning in all that we do.” That says it so clearly. What we feel the most challenging is what needs to be healed first. Of course, fear roars that loud that way. I think, the more we feel fear the closer we are to a break another wall of inner limitation because we are close to something new and the ego wants to keep us from getting there. But right that fear confirms it. And as a consequence, as you said, we do understand ourselves in through our fears. They show us where we limit ourselves the most and thus where we are called to fill up our cups or empty them. Fear is an amazing indicator towards our development and once we understand it, we can evolve faster and more grounded.
    Wonderful post, Mark, and thank you for the honor of quoting me. I appreciate that very much, dear friend πŸ™

    • Mark Lanesbury

      You showed me something very clearly Erika. One it is indeed a guide and two it isn’t an enemy. More than that too is that it is poking at all of our emotions, testing them and in finding something we are not happy with…we change. And then start again. Love touches us in so many ways and shows us where we want to be, but the ego challenges us in where we think we are too. Like all of life there are two sides to us all, each asking those questions to find that truth inside us, finally see and understand what love really is…and what it is not. If ego did not speak we would still find love…but at what level. How would we understand what love is if we also did not know what it isn’t. All of our emotions has two sides…and in going through them we can experience sadness (as an example), which will then allow us to appreciate happiness so much more. Hence our journey of going through our conditional love first, to then be able to know and understand what unconditional love is by experiencing all that ‘conditional love’ that ego binds us too. It is in defeating the challenges of ego that shows us the beauty of that unconditional love. Thank you for sharing Erika, your post, your wisdom and all those answers waiting to challenge us πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • It is again this love thingy. We need to love which means include not exclude. When we call someone an enemy there is no love connecting, no healing happening. Love is the magic word. We need to love everything to enter the field of healing. I like how you talked called it “testing”. This testing indeed is a step-by-step guide to lead from one development to the next. And it is all brought with love because in the end, it leads to that healing we seek. As you said, the opposites (and that is why we chose to come to this physical world) help us in that process.
        I remember something Mother Theresa once said: “Don’t be against war, be for freedom.” (or something like this). Don’t be against something, be for something. Be in the energy of love to reach for a change for the better. You are a messenger of love, Mark. Your experiences show clearly that the way to healing can only be walked in the energy of love.
        Hehe, I will keep challenging… just forwarding what life shows me… lol

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Thank you Erika, a nudge of our hearts will indeed ask us to understand, so ‘nudge’ away dear lady 🀣 But something very interesting came up from Spirit when you said ‘love is to include not exclude’. We are born into this world and absolutely hammered with so much…light, hearing, smell, grumbling belly, taste…and on and on its goes…but nothing is taken away…we let it go, or not. Like all those opposites in our lives it takes one to know and appreciate the other. We are being filled by so much so that it is felt by the senses…all of them. The same when we understand them, and let them go. Slowly getting an appreciation of what we are. Sorry Erika, this is going to turn into a post 🀣. Anyway, we must have an understanding of what we are or how else would we understand to ‘let go’ and meditate. Step away from us…or listen to that inner voice or knowing…and not confuse it with our ego. Why would all the religions and great texts ask us to do this or that, knowing we need to be taught so we can then understand this process of ‘conditional’ everything…so that we can understand what ‘unconditional is. We come to this world bombarded with so much, but not taken away from. Given so much so as to attain that understanding. We can’t go to a just born child and ask it to understand ‘anything’. It is a slow process being ‘given’ from that love of a parent so that one day it can understand what love truly is. First the conditional love of our parents to guide us towards that understanding…and finally the realization that what we thought was love is in fact a bent version of it. So we go looking to find what our hearts feel is missing. Many adventures, many failures…but both those many opposites to slowly appreciate what it is that we look for. Until one day we see what had blinded us…deliberately…so we would indeed understand and truly appreciate what we had now found. And in that one understanding, all that went before is let go, an attainment of that harmony within us, the unconditional love our hearts seek. We have been ‘taught, tested and tuned’ to find who and what we really are, to be that love we are ever seeking πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

          • I love your “post”…lol. I understand, what you mean. With including (instead of excluding) I meant not turning away from it, seeing it as a part of what made us who we are and what took us to that point of recognition. I think letting go, is then a natural process. It just happens without effort. Because when we open our hand and arms (instead of making a fist or crossing arms) we are open to it all but at the same time cannot hold on to something. This picture just gave myself a lift… lol.
            Thank you for your “post” again. You never fail to inspire and take me to deeper levels. Much love, Mark πŸ’–

            • Mark Lanesbury

              You said it perfectly to understand its meaning Erika…’We need to love which means include not exclude’…as this is exactly what love does. It is all including but never exclude…we do the exclude by blocking…and hence the journey to understand what ‘we’ have done, understand each and every step to finally see what we have done…and ‘let it go’…all of it to finally be in that place…that everything, but nothing…that beauty of unconditional love. The difficult part for us humans is we are taught to obtain something so we must ‘obtain’ it, and we automatically apply a physical meaning to it. When in fact this entire journey is asking us to find that love and happiness…but they are not built on anything physical. Yes, we get presents and other ‘stuff’ and we are happy and loving about it…but briefly. That is the teaching, we are being taught what love is, and is not. To slowly realize what we had been looking for wasn’t ‘out there’ at all but something we have blocked within. We had separated ourselves from that ‘connection’ that love is, and slowly we take this journey to slowly redirect us back to that place within. In understanding what we are not, only then can it redirect us back inside to realize that answer. That simple sentence you spoke said it all. The meaning of life dear lady, it can be applied in all circumstances to find that love we seek…take a bow πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

              • You said something so important here: …we are taught to obtain something… that is the problem. Whatever we want in life we believe we need to achieve, earn, gain, or deserve. But love has always been there. We have only been looking in the wrong direction – outwards, not inwards. And as you described it, the separation is already the journey back to ourselves, because only there we find what we have been looking for all life long. And love is always in the lead… even though we may not notice. Thank you for bringing love so much closer to the surface, Mark πŸ’–

              • Mark Lanesbury

                And thank you Erika, as usual you described it perfectly. This journey is in teaching us one side so that we can find the other. It’s like going without chocolate for a long time, I will indeed appreciate it all the more for its absence. Unconditional love is doing the same, we have been trying to find it but keep getting the conditional variety. We love it lots but never seems to be that complete love and happiness we ever search for. Something always touches us, the doubts of ego, so that we can question it further and further…until one day, and simply because we have dared to question us, it will indeed show us our truth…and set us free. And I thank you for poking my ego dear lady, it stops me from thinking I understand…when love is so much more than just my view. We each have a path, all very, very different…but thankfully the same destination. Thank you for sharing kind lady, may your doubts find that place within πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

              • Wonderful and thought-provoking words again, Mark. When do we really understand…
                Thank you, and I hope so too 😊

              • Mark Lanesbury

                Thank you Erika…I was going to answer your request of ‘when do we really understand’, but Spirit stopped me because my answer can interfere with that very journey we all make. I have mentioned it before in a couple of places but as soon as I did ‘it felt very wrong’, as in it can be taken out of context or its meaning different even though it is the same thing for everyone. An example…if I hurt someone emotionally by saying something, the next person may not be hurt as much by the same thing…as it has a different context in what it means to each person. So please bear with me as I need to think on this one and hopefully Spirit will ‘assist’. And also why I always say that we each need to go back into that time, feel how it truly makes us feel and find that truth deep inside us…admit to ourselves that part we have hidden…a child anxiously trying to cope with this painful, painful thing…and hiding it away. Find that hidden thing…that hidden feeling…and it will set us free ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

              • Exactly, the process of learning is as individually as each being is. But we always receive exactly what we need to move forward in our development. So, we probably can never be sure if we really understand since we simply reach another step in our development. And that may again only be a fragment of the whole. That’s we should simply stay curious and open for everything in and around us. Much love to you, Mark πŸ™

              • Mark Lanesbury

                Again, explained perfectly Erika. We all have very different paths to that one destination, and they can indeed be all so very different depending on us and our environment. Especially if we have a lounge room as an extension into our gardens 🀣. Love and light to you also Erika and thank you for sharing dear lady, may your journey ever bloom like your flowers do πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

              • Oh, yes, that’s true πŸ˜‚
                Thank you so much, Mark. Have a wonderful day 😊

              • Mark Lanesbury

                You too! πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

              • Thank you 😊

  8. It’s best not to fight or engage ego in anyway. I just say, “Oh, there you are,” and ignore it. That way it kind of just stops being such a pest. It thrives on all our negative energy and is a good reminder that we need to do some house cleaning and get back into balance. Great post and information, Mark. πŸ™‚

    • Mark Lanesbury

      It’s where that positive energy we produce comes in Michele, knowing we are in a great place and intending that. Ego has this great way of showing us what we don’t want that it does in fact push us into that positive way of being. It’s like dipping your toe into cold water…you won’t know you want to go for a swim or not unless you do ‘dip it in’, test the waters so to speak. And you are doing fine dear lady, your last garden photo can’t be that beautiful if that inner love wasn’t singing in the right place, the plants do ‘know’ where we are πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

    • I love what you said here, Michele. Observing but not judging! That is exaclty, what frees from dependencies.

  9. Great post! Such wise words. Happy Saturday πŸ™‚

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Grace, now you know that those many pathways, even though some very painful, is giving you those experiences so that you can find you. Mind you, a gag on the ego occasionally would be a blessing…but…it is a blessing as is. Have a beautiful day also dear lady, may it be full of truth, trust and the light in those many understandings πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  10. As I am learning daily – I need it ALL. Just like you are saying in your post how can anything be a failure if we are wiser for having the experience β™₯️I always loved the Shakespeare quote β€œThere is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”
    When i stop resisting all that life has to offer and understand the contrast gives life to everything than the fear is not as painful and stingy. Thank you for the quote and the post πŸ’œβ€οΈπŸ’œI need it all πŸ’—

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Very well said Danielle, and Shakespeare did have it right too. Our experiences down here are as my friend Val (Find Your Middle Ground) would say, is in finding our middle ground by experiencing it all and seeing it for what it is. All those pathways are those many lessons so we can see, feel and understand that love inside us. We get close in many ways but always with our ‘questioner ego’ poking it so that we do have so many options…but always ‘loaded’ by fears input. And because of it we can convince ourselves of anything. But thankfully the ego runs out of room as we slowly understand us in our experiences and see that inner truth that unconditional love is. May your pathways have both sides always dear lady, as it leads to that unconditional love within. Thank you for sharing πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

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