Decided to dance a little deeper in life, and wow can spirit dance!

Sunrise

The Love!

Spirit said a heart was calling…so this is from the titles from my menu bar above ❤️


‘Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.’ – Dr. Seuss

Unconditional love…what is it?

Now we all know what ‘love’ is, that lovely beautiful feeling we associate with a partner, child, parents and even our amazing pets…but why is there a difference between that and unconditional love. In the dictionary, ‘Unconditional’ – meaning: having no exceptions or restrictions – (demanded an unconditional surrender, the unconditional love of a child), is inferring that it is a total act of giving, without restriction. So we must be saying then, that to give unconditional love is to give it with no conditions, expectations, ideals, wants, needs or anything else you want to tack onto it. Interesting! Beautiful for the very reason that, if we all gave from that perspective, this would create world peace, harmony and a love all around for everyone right now! But it’s not…why?

We strive for this love, on so many different levels. As a child feeling that love and security from mum and dad, but with the conditions that mum and dad have learned and now place unintentionally on you because that is all they know. The beginning of adulthood and that first blossom of teenage love that really opens the heart for the first time to this incredible feeling that can move mountains…only to have it, sometimes unintentionally, smashed on the ground by the very person you felt would never ever hurt you, in any way. To now realizing that this very act has now produced more intense emotions within because of the pain that loss has created. Anger, fear and hurt creating an incredible range of emotions that in reality couldn’t be further from this ‘unconditional love’ if it wanted to be. Or could it?

How many times have you looked back at those emotionally intense times, fighting with your partner, and thinking to yourself ‘why did I say that’. You know it is the worst most hateful thing you can say…but you say it anyway. The situation is bad enough, but your partner always knows which button to push, which words to say and more to the point…do it willingly. Now think about this…why?…You know as well as I do, that all this will do, is create anger, hurt, pain and worst of all, do the one thing that you do not want…push them away because of our fear (See The Fear above) of not wanting to be hurt any more.

So…why no unconditional love! Well I am going to pass on a little, (I say little but this was one of the most profound things that spirit has ever passed on to me), journey that I was blessed to partake in. It was at a time where I was really starting to look within and be open to what was really occurring around me. A time when I began to step back within myself (See The Reverse above) and actually see more of what was going on around me from a spiritual perspective. I was becoming comfortable with my new direction and accepting of what spirit was bringing through for my understanding. Little did I know of what was about to happen.

My mother, at 80yrs young, had had a couple of heart attacks, not major types where you become quite ill with a long stay in hospital and it changes your day to day living, but enough that it knocks you around and can leave you weak and unable to do some everyday things. I had just left my place of work (redundancy), so was footloose and fancy free (isn’t that a coincidence!), so I went down to her home, she lived 90min away, to stay a while and look after her. After a couple of months I went to the local shops to purchase some things and ran into a young lady that had the most incredible energy I have ever felt. (Remember as a Massage Therapist I have learned to ‘feel’ others energy, but beyond that we all do it but don’t trust what it is we feel). Now this absolutely beautiful creature with this lovely energy rocked me to say the least…but…she looked about 32 at the most and I was a grand young age of 50 at the time so I thought what is this supposed to mean? The overall sensation was that it was going to be one of those ‘Events’ that I have had a few times in my life, a connection for us both to learn something quite intense with the added bonus of a lovely journey as well, and not as a romantic connection.

After getting to know this lovely lady for a while (and this was by going into the place she worked, getting items and just chatting), I started to realize that I needed to step this up a notch or we would just wander on happily chatting away, so after some weeks I thought, what the heck, I’ll ask her for a coffee. I had no idea how this would go down but spirit obviously needed me to step outside my safety zone and I suppose all she could do was say no. Now on the other side (I found out later), was that she had gone through a very traumatic time, divorce and all the emotional upheaval that it brought into her life and after a long struggle within herself she had finally decided that the next person that asked her out, she would say yes.(Isn’t spirit amazing!). So up I came the very weekend that she had decided this and asked her out. She told me later that she was amazed that she had said yes and tried to cancel it a few times afterwards as it wasn’t for another week, but thankfully never did. Our higher selves will always guide us to whatever our highest good is. And what a journey!

Now I will go directly to the actual event at this point otherwise there was a lot of other things that occurred during this time but are not a part of what I am trying to show in this part of The Love. (Mind you, The Love IS everything!).

After we had become much closer after a few weeks we realized that we were becoming very, very close, even though we had been fighting it the whole time. And by this time I found out she was a very young 39 years old (she looked so much younger), which made me realize that the age thing didn’t really mean anything, so we became even closer. Now spirit is a master at helping us on our journey so at this point spirit asked me one night during my sleep (this is explained in The Dreaming above), ‘Is this what you want to do…do you want to be a part of this relationship?’. And of course I said ‘yes!’. And spirit asked me this again, and I said ‘yes!’. But spirit asked me a third time, and I was feeling that something was happening here and to take this onboard with the seriousness that it was given. So I said ‘yes, I do!’. Now that left me a little aware that something important was going to happen, but within the context of starting to fall in love and really open my heart for the very first time and the feeling of having rose colored glasses on to boot, hey, I can move mountains now so bring it on.

Now I need to insert a very important piece about love here. You can love many, many people, pets & things in your life. Look at how you love your mum/dad…or your brother/sister…or your pet…or your memories of any of those things…no two are the same. You love them for the unique individual that they are…and…how you have interacted with those people in your life. I can love my mother in law…BUT…it’s with my knowledge that she can be impossible to do things with or she interferes too much or she is a controller etc etc (by the way ‘mum’, you’ve always been beautiful. I was not inferring you actually did the above, it’s just for explanatory purposes!). And those judgements and expectations that we apply, affect how we feel for everyone and thing in our lives.

So now I’ll go to the next important piece which occurred about twelve months later. Our relationship didn’t work out and my heart (and of course hers), took a major hit. To put it bluntly I was devastated. So I started to close up my heart and emotionally pull away to protect myself and tell myself it’s over so it’s time to leave. Now spirit decided it was time for some understanding on my part. So in my sleep spirit came to me and said ‘You wanted to be a part of this relationship?’, to which I replied ‘yes, but it’s over now’. To which spirit said ‘You wanted to be a part of this relationship?’. By now I’m becoming a little frustrated to say the least but said ‘yes, but it’s over now, there’s no longer any point’. And being the very, very loving and patient and kind spirit that I am/have said ‘You wanted to be a part of this relationship?’. So my heart began to understand that I was coming to something very important here so I said (with sincerity (finally!) and a bit confused), ‘Yes, I do wish to be part of this relationship!’. To which spirit asked ‘Would you like to know what unconditional love is?’. Well you could have knocked me over with a feather. It was the last thing I was expecting, but remember, my little pump, pump thing was all over the shop and not thinking from a spiritual place at all. You can get a little distracted when you’re going through this very trying time. So at this point I was now jumping for joy, singing hallelujah, thinking I’m going to be told the secret of the universe. And practically yelled at spirit ‘YES, PLEASE!’.

Spirit proceeded to explain in very simple layman’s terms just what unconditional love is. Spirit said to me ‘all you have to do is, go through, not over, not under, but through your fears!’. Now being the rational human being that I am, I said ‘speak to the hand…next idea please!’. Spirit then said ‘It’s very simple, you spend your entire life lifting your arms up to your chest when you feel threatened or think you’re going to be hurt to protect yourself. It’s a wall to protect yourself with physically. You do the same thing with your emotions. You put walls up to protect your emotions from all those hurts you get from the world every day. Like…you look terrible in those shoes…you can’t do that…don’t be silly…etc. When you put those walls up you block the one thing that is more important than all the others. That is the love that is everywhere. You project your fears in that one act. People see/feel your wall…and back away…thereby not giving you love because THEY then don’t want to be hurt by you. Which is what blocking does. You are not inviting anyone in to your heart by how you act. YOU are actually creating your fears.

When you understand and you see what you are really creating and you want to let these fears go, as you don’t want to create these things anymore…you take a deep breath, gather your courage…and step through those fears. And then, and only then, do you understand that you have created a heavy load that has hung over your head forever. And when you do step through that fear, the feeling that you have is an incredible deep breath and release of that load that you have carried with you for a long time. The next sensation is the joy and tears that you have finally released it, and you smile and laugh and are amazed that you have done this. And the most important part is now you have finally opened your arms (physically) and your heart (emotionally) and the overwhelming feeling of relief and emotional openness because of what you have been able to do, NOW allows the love to flow through, you begin to attract it to you instead of blocking it. That is why you feel so good after you’ve let go that fear. It is a rush of pure love, a let go of something you no longer want as a part of you, and allowing it to be replaced by a feeling so pure and open you will smile forever.

Well, that WAS the secret of the universe! I was totally flabbergasted to have it put to me in this way. So simple, so understandable that I was stunned to think it was always JUST there. Always with me but not be able to understand because I wasn’t ready yet. I needed to reach a certain point so that when I was ready and given this understanding, it was something that I would now begin to integrate in everything that I do. To put it bluntly, it was a game changer, it shocked me to such a degree that I now began to rethink, readjust and re-everything that was me up to that point. It opened so many walls that I had fervently built in my life to protect that little pump, pump thing that I now began to release and drop those walls. The weight loss (emotionally), was incredible, you really do not realize just what burdens we carry with us through our lives.

So now I have released that fear…the fear of losing something that I had held on to so hard because I WAS afraid to lose it. Afraid of losing something so much that I was in fact pushing it away with my fear. I now understand what it means to truly let that fear go and give from a place within that is not controlled by anything but the love that it is given. And an incredible freedom because of that. We put so many conditions on our love that it binds us. Binds us in fear because that is what it is created with. When you finally understand, and give truly, freely, with no expectations, it gives you such a feeling of joy and happiness that you can still move mountains, can still do amazing things and can still see the wonder of everything around you and not a pair of rose colored glasses in sight. This is truly you. Underneath all those fears and all those attitudes, lives the beating heart of unconditional love. Waiting…waiting to be finally, forever, set free! ❤️ 🙏🏽

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Fears…ours and others!

45 Comments

  1. Beautiful Mark. Our journey is all about learning who and what we are. Loving unconditionally is the best way to love, and the way we should love ourselves. In loving ourselves this way we should never be afraid to move on when someone in our life doesn’t deserve our unconditional love.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Michele, it is a very beautiful journey…in hindsight. Getting there has its ups and downs so to speak 😀 But a very interesting thing happened when I stepped through my fear…it changed me…as in…the love is so powerful, so life changing that all I could feel for others was an empathy and compassion because I could see that we are all driven by our fears, and act accordingly. Those bits of us we express in anger, sadness and many other things. They are all affected by those fears in our hearts. So, strange as it may seem, even the road rage’r or murderer or…anybody, is struggling through their fears trying to find where I now am. How can I judge something that I did in my own way trying to understand my life. See meaning where none seemed to be. But from where I am now, I can truly see that it all has purpose, even though what many do can indeed be painful. But, it does have a purpose, all of it. And out of the mayhem something will bloom in an understanding like nothing else. Thank you for sharing the beauty that is you kind lady, may it bloom into that beauty that awaits us all 😀❤️🙏🏽

      • What a beautiful period of growth for you Mark. I had my own start to a life changing spiritual journey about 22 years ago. Of course growth is an eternal process but learning to love oneself unconditionally is the catalyst to feeling complete as a human being. My mother passed away when I was 21 and about to give birth to my first son. She had been my touchstone, my reason for trying and all my self worth was linked to her. It’s too long a story to go into but through many connections that were divinely orchestrated I read many books meant for me and met friends in far away places that would become wise teachers. One of the best books I read along the way was Embracing Ourselves. It is a study in self love, acceptance of all our selves that we creat over the years for protection and knowing when to honor those protectors and leave them behind. Self love is the only thing that can heal the broken place in our souls that is born with us, that burning desire that keeps us searching for the ‘something missing’. We are forever seeking someone or something to ease that sense of loneliness that comes from leaving the perfect love of The Creator behind. But it is within each of us and nothing in this physical life can substitute. The books by Don Miguel Ruiz changed my life in so many wonderful ways. The Four Agreements is so simply the truth. Moving in honesty through our connections leaves little room for error and when we stop judging ourselves it becomes unnecessary to judge anyone else. When we give forgive ourselves it becomes easier to forgive others. I no longer use the terms Good and Evil. The real struggle as I have come to accept it lies between Love and Fear. My all time favorite quote comes from A Course in Miracles.
        “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.” Only love is real. All else is illusion, I am so happy you found yourself and are in love with who you really are.

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Ah dear lady, what a beautifully written comment. And I thank you kindly for your words, it is indeed an incredible journey when understanding arrives. It is indeed an amazing thing to look back and see just how far we have come and decipher such beauty that life is creating for us. And it does require some very tough moments but as you have found they take us further inside to where that ‘missing piece’ of us resides. It takes a push or two to make us take what is usually a fearful step to dare to go beyond our fears…but they are the making of us when we finally see of what they were built.
          And as you have so well said, we follow what we think is love but ever seemingly hitting a wall in some part of it, seeing the fault in others but never ourselves. But we have those broken pieces for a very beautiful purpose, so we can go beyond them and see the beauty within it. And we have time, lots of it so that we can finally go beyond us and find that love that is here, everywhere, we just have to stop blocking it with our walls. And I most certainly agree about that ‘something missing’. Spirit took me on a journey that allowed me to ‘touch’ very briefly, unconditional love. There are no words to describe its perfection, not a judgement, block, doubt were anywhere at all. And it was shown me so that I could understand that all of these conditions ‘down here’ is to show us purpose. We cannot truly know and appreciate happiness, unless we experience and know sadness too…and on through so many other emotions and experiences. So that all of these ‘conditional loves’ will indeed show us and give a very beautiful appreciation of unconditional love when it is found within us.
          And very interesting books, I have not read Embracing Ourselves so I shall endeavor to find it. I have come across many things that can be seen from so many different angles, but I think that is what unconditional love is, it can be seen no matter where our hearts are. We just have to learn to see through us first…and appreciate that journey within.
          Again I thank you for sharing what is obviously a very beautiful journey that you have taken and experienced to the full. Much wisdom in its steps and shared here, thank you ❤️🙏🏽

          • Thanks Mark. I am happy we connected. Much love to you as you journey. I think you’d like the book I’m writing, it’s a spiritual creation story. The characters, though fictional, are very human. My hope is that anyone reading it will identify with them and find comfort in knowing we are never alone.

            • Mark Lanesbury

              Go for it dear lady, we can see unconditional love from many directions, it will always have meaning to so many when written or spoken from that inner place inside us that has touched it from experience. Your words ring true dear lady, it will also touch many as it should. Thank you for sharing. I shall look forward to its arrival 😀❤️🙏🏽

  2. Thank you Mark! Yes, my anxieties were throwing up roadblocks, so I was steering away from them. I was trying to tell the story in a way which was more comfortable for me. I have learned over the past few years that the only way through is to walk into the feeling, but because I have come to like and to love myself now, I can practice different self talk to get myself through.

  3. Yes, I agree with you. I was trying to impose my own direction on it, not having realized it had already developed a life of its own. I was trying to use it into an area where I was more comfortable, where I didn’t feel that I was reliving the difficult moments. You are right, I need to just let all that go and see where the writing brings me. Thank you for this encouragement. I appreciate it!

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Now I have to be careful here…sometimes we feel we ARE going in the right direction, but so many things come in to block us. Normally that IS to show us our approach or something isn’t quite right…BUT…it may be frustrating you BECAUSE it is bringing up an anger or especially a part or all of our fear so that we will face it. Yes, it can be frustrating to figure out which is right…but slowly we learn our ‘fears’ and ‘know’ which it is. Usually it is the fear but if it just requires a change of direction or a different approach it can show us by our actions that it is wrong or just doesn’t feel right. I know what my fears are and can usually pick me a mile off trying to avoid or not face something so it makes it easier to understand it is them or my approach. It will teach you because you want to go there, your courageous enough to dare that step so it will make it plain. Fighting it we usually try to convince ourselves of something else or blame another. So, feel you…if you feel it is a true attempt…go for it. If it is anything other it will keep that frustration going. Regardless, good luck with it, I hope that it is that thing that will start to make you feel glad that you are following it, and many things fit into place as you do 😀❤️🙏🏽

  4. Oh. My. Goodness! This post! These responses! All amazing!

    Mark, you have indeed touched the pulse of our journey here on earth! There’s no other way to get to the place of healing, wholeness, of being able to give and receive love, to be able to feel love and joy, unless we go THROUGH what we need to do. I feel in the past few months that I have backed away from speaking about the esoteric side of these things, but all these conversations have reminded me that they were a very strong part of my journey.

    I had a conversation this week with someone who asked me if I had considered writing a book about the journey I went through, from having left a fundamental church and how it broke me, to meeting my second husband who taught me about the Native American world and who had invited me into ceremonies. He hadn’t even heard about the 4 psychics who had approached me to give me identical messages.

    I used to write more openly about this in my blog posts, but backed away during the last administration in the USA, because the religious right were getting so much into the politics, that I was fearing personal repercussions towards me. Their political strengths were creating fears within me so I became more self censoring.

    I do have another book in the pipeline that I have been struggling to write, which talks about those times, more of a biography of that time. I may need to get back into finishing it. Originally it was supposed to be a book about the making of a movie that my second husband and I were working on, but we (and our other partners) had so many strange things happening to us that later I struggled to find the tone and purpose of the direction for the book if it wasn’t going to fulfill its original purpose. Much of what had been written was done journal style to capture the daily things going on.

    I’m feeling the nudge to once again dust off the manuscript and trust that Spirit will give me the direction that I need for this book.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      It all happens in its own time Tamara. I find that things like that will happen to me so that I can go through something and then be able to add to that original journey but from a more truthful or wiser way because of those experiences.
      In amongst all of my journey the writing of a book has surfaced a few times but other events have come forward and I realized that I am being opened in so many more ways so that I can see a purpose behind our journey, a ‘meaning of life’ if you will to be able to help others see within themselves that there is a purpose to the mayhem and be a guide to that journey. I initially had no trust and belief in myself so just went along with the journey but as you said, as time goes by we are shown that inner love, see that it is speaking to us in many ways so in experiencing it all the urge to share something so profound becomes stronger. We knew those times of fear, that non belief in ourselves and how painful it was in going through it. We now want to share what we have found so that others can dare those last steps to go beyond that non belief in ourselves and find what we have.
      Follow your heart dear lady, we know now it hasn’t spoken a bad word towards us, it was just the fear that held us back. Step into that light you have found, trust it and it will light your way. Even if there are stumbles, accept them, there are still many pieces to see and understand. Somehow I don’t think it ever finishes, simply because that love we found just goes on and on.
      Good luck with it dear lady, follow the beauty you feel and believe in you 😀❤️🙏🏽

      • I love how you put this! Yes, I feel the universe is nudging me to once again dust off the manuscript see where it leads me. I was definitely too raw when I tried to turn those initial “making of the movie” journal pages into a book. Since Spirit was involved in that process I lived through, I knew I needed to honor it. I tried a couple of different story telling approaches, but nothing felt right at the time. I’m a different person now, so I need to trust Spirit that I’m healed enough to be able to approach it without falling into the old emotions I had gone through.

        My very first book was started when the publisher of my illustrated children’s book urged me to put down my philosophical thoughts into a book. I didn’t realize I spoke differently, but he encouraged me. I had so little self confidence that I started writing down my thoughts in teeny tiny notebooks. When I had filled up a few I started typing them up and my first book grew from there. It was a very organic process.

        So now if Spirit is sending me people who are encouraging me to write about that time, I will follow the nudges.

        • Mark Lanesbury

          It may be asking you to see something, as in a new direction just in you. You will be surprised, as I always am, at what I have written after a post or comment. Because I have learned to ‘let go’ in myself to stand in that unconditional love, Spirit, my higher self, God can come through and guide me in the words and the meaning wanting to be expressed in that love.
          Let it go…and it will come to you, in things around you, from your heart or even through another. Let that ‘on guard’ part of us go, really let go and just do something you love…and it will speak in some way…as it seems to be doing by tapping you on the shoulder now 😀❤️🙏🏽

  5. Beautifully written, Mark. I love the way you captured the way the spirit moves you; the way you listen closely to her voice as she shows you your true path. Thank you for this. 💕🕊️💕

    • Mark Lanesbury

      And thank you for sharing your heart Linda, that inner Spirit is inside us all sharing our truth to guide us. Our life may seem a madness with no cohesion in its many adventures…but slowly and very beautifully it gathers us in that belief of ourselves by asking us to trip and stumble, dare to experience so many things, and especially those hard ones because they impact us so strongly. Those hard bits are the ones ever in our mind because the easy and pleasurable ones we have experienced, enjoyed and let them go in its understanding. Everything down here we experience and understand we ‘let go’, they no longer bother us. But those things that felt wrong, hurt or even just not understood…stay within us because they press those fears in some way, that doubt of ourselves from childhood that we were unintentionally brought up with because those we loved and looked up to, had not resolved their fears at that time in their lives and unintentionally passed them on to us as part of our rearing.
      But this has a great purpose, it teaches us in by going through our fears we rebuild that trust and love of us, release that conditional way of not trusting ourselves, doubting who we are…to find that doubt in whatever form it takes and see its truth and let it go. It is in that very thing that we finally let go that conditional love of ourselves and can finally see and understand the unconditional love, the one we had denied ourselves for so long. And in that one motion set ourselves free.
      Our inner guide is ever that love and our ability to slowly trust it, dare to go beyond our fear. And the one core thing that always guides us is…we have ever looked for that love and happiness in our lives…and it is there waiting inside us to believe in us enough to dare to walk through that fear in our hearts. Follow it back to its beginning and finally see that little child block something painful (because they couldn’t understand it), that we have carried on all through our lives. And once you see and understand it…you are free…totally, utterly free to become the beauty of that love waiting within ❤️🙏🏽

  6. Thankyou so much mark for sharing this most intimate experience of fear and love❤️ Inspiring us all to see our own lives in the clearness it can be so we too can feel more and more of the joy that is released when we untrap our fears😇 Our whole life is about finding a balance of wellness, abundance and loving, joyful peace in which we can explore the higher realms of magic, bringing in more sensational experience to dwell in💃🏼🕺❤️ Tom and I had the most happy life, dealing with many of our traumas together… and his recent transition is just the next part in our journey of freedom❤️ Putting us both in a space to deal with lingering baggage to make us lighter (I’ve lost 10 kg and feel great!) to reach new heights of pure compassion, joy and peace for self and others! AND more than anything to allow us both to penetrate interdimensional boundaries, allowing new potential to come in to really roll some eyeballs
    👀
    I feel so much compassion now flowing that is helping me deal with new challenges that in the past would of created an emotional reaction, but now I feel only peace🙃
    Thankyou mark for walking with me on this journey, it makes all the difference❤️ sending love to you🥰

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Wow, you have indeed let go so much Barbara, be it physical or emotional. It is good to hear a heart setting itself free from so much but I know it may be hard but it is truly clearing a place for love to see itself truthfully and begin to live from that place.

      A hard journey dear lady but Tom will be proud of you and how much you have faced within so that you can flow like only love can do. There are so many things we have held as we go through life but they do indeed have a great purpose, to challenge us to see who we really are inside, find that love and happiness we ever search for and become something so profound in that discovery.

      Take a bow Barbara, it takes great courage for each and every step and it gladdens my heart that you can see that light within and know it is opening you to something so very beautiful.

      Big, big hugs my friend and sending love and light to you also. Just be that beauty within you, it is now coming free from what was, to be the beauty of now 😀❤️🙏🏽

      • Thank you Mark… I feel amazing and am taking a bow🤣 knowing I’m moving forward, open to expanding more and more to my own loving and wise presence❤️ much love x

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Heeeey Barbara, a new era has been born in your heart my friend. Firstly you have come through to here, icon and all, that is a miracle in itself 🤣 But truly I can feel a beauty being born within. You are finding you within all this, slowly but surely something stands up to be noticed and refresh you a little more. Just your beautiful presence is a ‘bow’ in itself, and I thank you for sharing it with me. A big hug dear lady, you are finding that lovely you inside, and that is what you will now give out. Much love in return my friend 😀❤️🙏🏽

  7. Oh wow, your explanation here , well just so rang so many bells Mark.
    I can relate so much to the very thing we desire so much, we smother and suffocate so it repels and pushes away the very thing we want.

    My Father was a very jealous man, never having felt much love in his childhood. So he became obsessed when he fell in love with my mother.
    Wanted her attention all the Time.
    Woe betide she dare look at another.
    His fears of losing that love, drove the spark of love out of my mother.

    It took me years to unravel her then actions of shutting down her own love of some of her children who had empathy with their father.
    For as a child I grew up in a battle ground of anger and arguments.

    These emotions which transferred to me as feeling unworthy of her love began my own journey of seeking approval and wanting to please everyone, in regards to helping others as I went the extra mile in work etc.

    It took many deep dives as you know to reach my own inner wounded child, that felt so rejected in childhood, to have my mother then reject me again in adulthood.

    But once I reached in and let go of that inner fear. As I began my journey of transformation in learning to deeply love and respect myself it opened up that closed wall you speak about.

    And once we break down those barriers and allow love in, and forgive and live others.
    It truly does transform us from the inside out..

    Thank you so, so much for sharing your story and explaining so well Unconditional Love. 😊 💕💖💕

    • Mark Lanesbury

      It is a very difficult thing to understand, especially at first because it does ask us to go very deeply Sue, as you now well know. It is confronting to look at things that seem to reject us, but it is indeed in there that we will see that it isn’t us at all, but what we have been unintentionally taught to us by those we love and look up to…simply because they haven’t resolved their own fears and just pass them on because that is all they know.
      It is a very confronting thing to face…but in doing so we can be freed from a lifetime of being held away from that love and happiness we have ever looked for. But…it all has a great purpose as you can now see, by going through all of this we experience much conditional things, especially that condition we held of ourselves, that we were unlovable in some way or form, even just a rejection or feeling of not being good enough…so that when we do experience this moment we will then truly understand what unconditional love is by experiencing a lifetime of conditions. One cannot be understood without the other. It’s like anything in this world. You may love to sing but you won’t truly appreciate it until you understand and learn it. And we won’t truly appreciate unconditional love until we experience the conditional love we have down here. Great share dear lady, and indeed a heart shared here and changed because of it. I am glad to feel a heart set free. Thank you ❤️🙏🏽

      • Thank you Mark…. It was a long journey to come to that realisation but I have never looked back. And my heart is more open and more giving because of those experiences..
        So much so I not only learnt to forgive my mother ‘s deep wounding, But I forgave myself for my perspective of her for so many years…
        I now am in actual gratitude for those lessons, for it has taught me so much more about Unconditional Love And I thank you for sharing part way that journey of self discovery with me Mark…
        In love and Gratitude my friend ❤️ 🙂 🙏

        • Mark Lanesbury

          It does indeed open us to so much, its like the weight of the world is let go AND an inner beauty settles into our hearts. It changes us so profoundly in its understanding and in doing so we feel so much more my friend, a compassion and empathy for what we now truly understand where before we were never settled, never at peace.

          But I think that is its driver, to make us search for that love and happiness in our hearts to finally find that beauty waiting inside us.

          Thank you for also helping me to see also, our journey, and like all other journeys are ever a two way exchange. These meetings of souls are a teacher of love for us all 😀❤️🙏🏽

          • I couldn’t agree with you more Mark Always learning and expanding in consciousness .. Never ending… 🙂 🙏❤

  8. Unconditional love is terrifying and exhilarating almost equal measures. Those measures are not the same every time. Sometimes there is more fear and sometimes more exhilaration but they both need to be accepted, completely.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      That they do Pam, and as scary as it may seem to face our fears…when we do we see something so beyond words, it touches every part of our being and sets us free. In that instant we will never regret a single thing that we have done, good or bad, simply because we will understand that each and every step was the making of us. Oh, did I mention touching an incredible love inside us too, finally felt through that understanding. Thank you for sharing kind lady, may your heart ever shine along its path 😀❤️🙏🏽

  9. Beautiful and so insightful Mark 🥰When the heart truly opens we are changed forever. My opening was slower over time. The catalyst was my relationship with my Mother. When I understood her and let go of the blame and judgment I had been holding for most of my life, my heart started it’s journey into unconditional love.
    Thank you for being here and sharing your journey 💕🙏💕

    • Mark Lanesbury

      And thank you for sharing your wisdom too Val. Our journey’s are a many splendored thing, up and down, inside and out…but it is the shaking of our tree that asks us to change and find that beauty within us. Hard…sometimes very yes, but ever taking us out of our comfort zone so that we can finally find something so beautiful to leave us in tears in its understanding…big lovely tears of a ‘let go’ to leave us in its wonder, a love beyond words. Again I thank you for sharing your path to that inner peace and love within 😀❤️🙏🏽

      • I hear you. I feel you. Thank you Mark for your presence and understanding 💛🙏🏼💐

  10. Beautiful! Thank you for sharing your amazing and loving experience.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you dear lady, I was blessed with something so painful but incredibly loving within it. I don’t think there is any experience that does not take us to one extreme so that on experiencing the other we can appreciate their difference…especially that love surrounding them all. Thank you for sharing, as you do so well on your blog 😀❤️🙏🏽

  11. Profound and moving Mark.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      It was a shocker to learn dear lady because in it we have to face ourselves…but…indeed there was something so profoundly beautiful to see on the other side. It leaves us free for the first time, it leaves us feeling happy for the first time, and most profoundly we actually feel that unconditional love for the first time. And I can barely describe a smile inside, a glow where before was a very heavy emotional weight, negatively dragging us around in everything we did. May your journey ever keep you on its path Cindy…and I think your pictures are already, beautifully being tuned by that discovery inside 😀❤️🙏🏽

  12. Wow, this is the most amazing explanation of unconditional love. We fear to lose something so precious that we begin to become conditional. This makes so much sense. And I understand it. We have the greatest fear when something can destroy what we love or what means so much to us. And fear ALWAYS blocks! Again, this makes so much sense and the way you explained it, made it so easy to understand. Thank you for sharing this fundamental story of insight, Mark!

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Erika, this world is so beautifully balanced that we do attract those very things to heal us. We can’t help but project what we are in those many ‘conditional’, and learned, emotions inside us…which in turn brings in something so that we will face those very emotions, and gradually understand them all. But the one that eludes us is that love and happiness we have ever looked for, not realizing it is because we are not truly happy inside us, that one place we dare not look because of our fear. We think that our fear is upsetting so why would we look for our love and happiness in there…but it is that very wall that blocks us in everything we do, so in removing that fear it no longer interferes with everything else…but, it is that very process of going through our conditional fears that we can finally see the unconditional love behind it. By experiencing that one last thing we will finally see and understand why we were as we have been, see the beauty behind it all and ‘know’ that it all has great meaning so that we can ‘see’ the beauty we have been given in this incredible journey and become that unconditional love in its understanding. Thank you for sharing Erika, many hearts can indeed make this journey lighter, in heart and mind, to find that love within us. Thank you ❤️🙏🏽

      • Your words mirror the lyrics of the third song I performed on Friday. “these walls I build up were no shelter at all, they kept me from growing, were a lie, held me small…”
        Yes, we need to look fear in the face only to realize that it is only hot air. In the same moment, we dare to look at it, we can see through it. That is the moment when se see that fear is only a construct of our thoughts, but no truth!
        As you said, the process of realizing that is actually the big lesson that settles inside of us forever. Such incredible moments that propel us forward.
        Thank you for always sharing your profound thoughts and experiences, Mark 💖

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Now how is that for synchronicity 😀 And there are so many of them in our journey Erika, a guidance so that we can see, truly see the meaning of our pathways and guide us to that inner place we had blocked. All has a purpose so that we can become something wonderful and appreciate what it has taken us to find it.
          And thank you for your sharing of wisdom from your journey also Erika, if we don’t many would be left struggling in so many ways. Just to see that others have taken this journey is a blessing simply because it stops many from thinking their is something wrong with their journey or in fact with them.
          A guide in whatever form gives us courage to take another step, to know that this path we travel does have that purpose in its outcome…and a blessing beyond words when it is finally touched. Many thanks dear lady, that music you shared, and many other gifts, are indeed a flag, a direction to aim for so we can see that beauty of love within them 😀❤️🙏🏽

          • It is absolutely necessary that we “don’t hide our voices”. Because that is the reason for loneliness. So many are struggling and think they are alone but in fact they are living door to door without knowing.
            We all need to share what we have, either our experiences (that others see they are not alone in that) or the joys in us we brought along to inspire and bring that joy to more people which enhances our joy. Life is for living, for feeling, and for exploring. So many roles we play down here. It feels so real and can be so hard while it is only an episode in our eternal life’s season.
            And yes, those synchronicities happen constantly lately. It is amazing to see, how much in tune we are with what is around us and which each other. One connection!
            Thank you for your amazing inspiration, Mark 💖

            • Mark Lanesbury

              My pleasure Erika, and thank you for sharing you, be it song, poem or wisdom, it all makes us better to know we are all together in this, and helping find that inner destination 😀❤️🙏🏽

              • That’s beautifully said, Mark. Thank you so much 💖

  13. Mark, there’s a reason, always, for the people I meet and love. Just as it was meant to “be” for me to read this post. I’m where you are in life now. After MANY failed relationships ~I never understood real Love~it was attached to “conditions”. I was flabbergasted too! I learned to love myself. The walls came down. I felt the love of my Maker that I TRULY had not accepted over many years. On an interesting note, my last relationship that hurt the most~well, I was 39 and he 50. We were together 7 years. Mark~I believe in love! Yet, I’ve reached a point where the love I have for myself has allowed me to love others with no conditions, expectations,…but to NEVER be a prisoner to that which is not love! Sending hugs and light dear friend! 🥰💛💪🏻💪🏻🙌🏻

    • Mark Lanesbury

      And gladly received kind lady, thank you ❤️ He gave us this journey so that we could understand His love, the unconditional variety. We have to trip and stumble so that we can SEE IT through those stumbles. Until we experience those many bits of our emotions and their opposites like happiness and sadness, we can’t truly understand either. And then those beautiful hearts with lots of experience are then put in a place so that they can really come to the end of their ability to cope with something, struggling to understand….until they finally see the answer (back in that childhood where it was built), see it in that one moment that explains it all so that they finally ‘let go of everything’, the emotions, the walls…everything…and in that one moment they allow that love in, free us of those conditions we place on ourselves and allow us to touch something never before felt…His love, now our love. And the part you have found and many cannot ‘looking in’ is simply because we now understand all our conditions by experiencing them, and then suddenly let them go, so that we can finally understand unconditional, and now you are at rest, no longer ‘needing’ so much and at peace within your heart. Mind you, we still are on a conditional world, if we don’t pick our feet up we will still stumble. But within our hearts…no, we can now love us and in doing so, truly love others ❤️
      I hope you are feeling much better even though the medicine may feel worse than the problem. But regardless, a big hug and much love and light to you Karla, it can’t hurt to shower you with a little more healing in its power. And thank you for sharing that journey of love within you, a soldier of the heart with many scars…very loving one’s gladly received ❤️🙏🏽

      • Thank you, Mark ❤️ I feel the love and support. It’s true the medicine can be worst! I’m so happy to be a soldier standing with you on this journey. 💛🤗💪🏻🙏🏻

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Then I thank you for that sharing of hearts and minds of this very special journey. Take care then Karla, we still have a few more steps to take ❤️ 🙏🏽

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