I’ve been nudged again by Spirit to post another comment from Samantha’s new post Chapter 27 at her blog. And I missed a bit in the original comment (um, a very important bit 😀), but I have added it here.
Samantha, God is always there in each step you take. Yes, some are hard indeed…but…how can we appreciate a lovely sunny day, unless we get a week of rain. A rose in bloom, without a winter of silence. A heart in love, without that contact lost. They all build us, give us a wisdom, and that amazing part that I still shake my head in seeing. How we can go through so much pain, but in doing so build so much empathy, compassion and love. Yes, there is much anger and a million other emotions, but that fine tune antenna called our hearts asks us to take one more step, find that starry night in our dreams and create them.
Yes, there are many cold wet puddles after those walks in life…but…there are many open fire snuggles to go with them. Each and every one are guiding us with hope, and that soul search for a love and happiness ‘out there’. But it isn’t until we dare that search within that it is found. We reach that part in life where we have truly had enough, can’t take another step without tears of frustration and even anger. Where you look up into the sky and scream with all that you are. But that is what He is waiting for, for you to reach this place and dare what you have avoided all your life. The answer to all of your life rests in that one place.
In your heart, is a child’s heart, and in it is a place locked tight, it is that one spot you dare not tread because it holds a pain, a child’s pain of how you felt rejected in some way, a love blocked to those you thought you looked up to and loved. But their actions seeded that doubt, a fear of being hurt…and ever projected onto others all through your life. Blocking all those ‘others’ from being anything that would touch on that heartfelt horror.
And the answer is very easy to find…what do they do that upsets you more than anything else, a way of being treated or spoken to that hurts more than anything else, causes break ups, makes you avoid it like the plague. And if you look at all your relationships, it is the common denominator in them all, even if coming from a different direction.
There is one way out of it all and I found it in the most incredible way. Spirit said to me…’do you want to know what unconditional love is?’…and of course I said yes, bouncing around on the bed like a child…gimme, gimme, gimme! And Spirit said…’I (God) wants you to go somewhere in your heart, not around, nor under or over, but through…your fear!’…well, I of course said speak to the hand. Then Spirit said…’in there is an understanding, and like any worry in life…we stress, chew on them, put them off and a million other things, until one thing happens to them all…you dare to face and understand them…and you then let them go. Look at everything you have understood in your life…they don’t bother you anymore…because you have faced them, understood and let them go.
Your fears in those relationships is that unknown, never knowing why but always seeing those actions of others as a direct hit at you. But if you dare to go back and understand that child’s pain, it takes away the fear power has over you, it removes it completely. Here is an example of how this truly works.
You have done something really wrong, your brother (or sister) is threatening to tell mom and dad. Your petrified of them knowing so you will do anything to keep him/her quiet. For a long, long time, years even you have had to put up with them threatening you and that secret coming out, you have acted in ways that are just not you because of how it is holding you, in thoughts let alone what it does to you physically and in your mind. Until one day you say ‘enough’, I can’t do this anymore. You have been dragged to hell and back over it and it has twisted your life beyond meaning. So, it’s time. You gather your courage and go tell your mom and dad. They are aghast, shocked and unbelieving. BUT…it is such a huge, huge relief to finally say it…and let it go, the weight lifted is beyond words. And your brother, he has just lost all of his power over you…all of it. And in looking back over your life you can see the trail of broken and twisted actions you’ve made to avoid this pain…but…it is the making of you, made you into that person who has now had the courage to face you, see underneath all the waves this life makes and finally see the truth and beauty in your heart and act on it by being that truth, that love of self…and then speak from that place.
Our lives are just that, that journey of going through a life maimed by that fear, a lie with the weight of the world holding us to it. But on the day you have the courage to face and understand that child’s painful heart, will be the day you let that weight go.
Now when we do something very wrong, as in my example, we ‘know’ what we’ve done. In real life we don’t know what it is we think we’ve done, or the reason for ever feeling unloved, rejected, and the world is against us etc. And that makes it so much more frustrating and drags it on for such a long time. A lifetime. There is no finally telling mom and dad…because we don’t know what it is. But believe me, when we do see it, it is so powerful. I broke down and cried my eyes out…but the relief is something else, beyond words, and something so powerfully beautiful in its understanding that comes with it. And the change within is the making of us.
It is a long journey Samantha, but a very heartfelt and beautiful understanding at its end. May your heart finally reach that courage to take that step back into your childhood, find that pain from those you loved and looked up to, and understand it is the pain you have ever carried with you. See the why it felt so painful to that child and understand it is but the crying of a child for her mom or dad, the reaching out for a love never found. It’s answer will set you free, release its power over you in its understanding…and finally release a heart, and a life, from its pain ❤️🙏🏽