Finding that love, the real one!

I’ve been nudged again by Spirit to post another comment from Samantha’s new post Chapter 27 at her blog. And I missed a bit in the original comment (um, a very important bit 😀), but I have added it here.

Samantha, God is always there in each step you take. Yes, some are hard indeed…but…how can we appreciate a lovely sunny day, unless we get a week of rain. A rose in bloom, without a winter of silence. A heart in love, without that contact lost. They all build us, give us a wisdom, and that amazing part that I still shake my head in seeing. How we can go through so much pain, but in doing so build so much empathy, compassion and love. Yes, there is much anger and a million other emotions, but that fine tune antenna called our hearts asks us to take one more step, find that starry night in our dreams and create them.

Yes, there are many cold wet puddles after those walks in life…but…there are many open fire snuggles to go with them. Each and every one are guiding us with hope, and that soul search for a love and happiness ‘out there’. But it isn’t until we dare that search within that it is found. We reach that part in life where we have truly had enough, can’t take another step without tears of frustration and even anger. Where you look up into the sky and scream with all that you are. But that is what He is waiting for, for you to reach this place and dare what you have avoided all your life. The answer to all of your life rests in that one place.

In your heart, is a child’s heart, and in it is a place locked tight, it is that one spot you dare not tread because it holds a pain, a child’s pain of how you felt rejected in some way, a love blocked to those you thought you looked up to and loved. But their actions seeded that doubt, a fear of being hurt…and ever projected onto others all through your life. Blocking all those ‘others’ from being anything that would touch on that heartfelt horror.

And the answer is very easy to find…what do they do that upsets you more than anything else, a way of being treated or spoken to that hurts more than anything else, causes break ups, makes you avoid it like the plague. And if you look at all your relationships, it is the common denominator in them all, even if coming from a different direction.

There is one way out of it all and I found it in the most incredible way. Spirit said to me…’do you want to know what unconditional love is?’…and of course I said yes, bouncing around on the bed like a child…gimme, gimme, gimme! And Spirit said…’I (God) wants you to go somewhere in your heart, not around, nor under or over, but through…your fear!’…well, I of course said speak to the hand. Then Spirit said…’in there is an understanding, and like any worry in life…we stress, chew on them, put them off and a million other things, until one thing happens to them all…you dare to face and understand them…and you then let them go. Look at everything you have understood in your life…they don’t bother you anymore…because you have faced them, understood and let them go.

Your fears in those relationships is that unknown, never knowing why but always seeing those actions of others as a direct hit at you. But if you dare to go back and understand that child’s pain, it takes away the fear power has over you, it removes it completely. Here is an example of how this truly works.

You have done something really wrong, your brother (or sister) is threatening to tell mom and dad. Your petrified of them knowing so you will do anything to keep him/her quiet. For a long, long time, years even you have had to put up with them threatening you and that secret coming out, you have acted in ways that are just not you because of how it is holding you, in thoughts let alone what it does to you physically and in your mind. Until one day you say ‘enough’, I can’t do this anymore. You have been dragged to hell and back over it and it has twisted your life beyond meaning. So, it’s time. You gather your courage and go tell your mom and dad. They are aghast, shocked and unbelieving. BUT…it is such a huge, huge relief to finally say it…and let it go, the weight lifted is beyond words. And your brother, he has just lost all of his power over you…all of it. And in looking back over your life you can see the trail of broken and twisted actions you’ve made to avoid this pain…but…it is the making of you, made you into that person who has now had the courage to face you, see underneath all the waves this life makes and finally see the truth and beauty in your heart and act on it by being that truth, that love of self…and then speak from that place.

Our lives are just that, that journey of going through a life maimed by that fear, a lie with the weight of the world holding us to it. But on the day you have the courage to face and understand that child’s painful heart, will be the day you let that weight go.

Now when we do something very wrong, as in my example, we ‘know’ what we’ve done. In real life we don’t know what it is we think we’ve done, or the reason for ever feeling unloved, rejected, and the world is against us etc. And that makes it so much more frustrating and drags it on for such a long time. A lifetime. There is no finally telling mom and dad…because we don’t know what it is. But believe me, when we do see it, it is so powerful. I broke down and cried my eyes out…but the relief is something else, beyond words, and something so powerfully beautiful in its understanding that comes with it. And the change within is the making of us.

It is a long journey Samantha, but a very heartfelt and beautiful understanding at its end. May your heart finally reach that courage to take that step back into your childhood, find that pain from those you loved and looked up to, and understand it is the pain you have ever carried with you. See the why it felt so painful to that child and understand it is but the crying of a child for her mom or dad, the reaching out for a love never found. It’s answer will set you free, release its power over you in its understanding…and finally release a heart, and a life, from its pain ❤️🙏🏽

15 thoughts on “Finding that love, the real one!

  1. I missed this post Mark when you posted…
    Wow….. such a profound post in its truth my friend.. Going into our fears, and letting them go, trusting, in being open, true, and honest with ourselves..
    While our programming has been all about the opposite.
    Not to trust in self, but trust in those who deem themselves authoritarian, be it parents, teachers, professors etc…
    That sigma of rejection, failure, and not fitting in.. creating so much damage from early childhood through our educational and working environments.. To succeed is to be appraised externally… When all the while to succeed and thrive is always internal… For we are Magical BE-ings where all things are possible .. We have just been taught LOVE is to found externally in others, in things we fill our lives with..
    When all the while the Real love as you say, is within..

    Placing that trust outside of ourselves is what has led us into the mess we now see our world in..
    As we have given away our sacred power.. That Power to love ourselves Unconditionally…

    May we begin to unpeel more layers to find that true love which resides within us All..

    Much love and gratitude Mark… another wonderful piece my friend ❤️

    1. Thank you Sue, and WordPress is seriously all over the shop and many can’t leave comments or likes here. I’ve even reached a point where, after signing in, I have to sign in again every second blog in a very short time space, seconds even. Madness!
      Anyway dear lady, we do slowly come through this crazy world, it will teach us much. And I know we have to go through so much to understand…but I still haven’t fully seen the ‘why’ behind politicians. It always seems to attract those that want to manipulate for money, pleasure, greed…but if that is the case, why do we vote for them. The system in itself has been corrupted so far beyond it purpose to be a joke. By the people for the people…are they kidding me. Maybe God is slowly asking us for that change, but first that step within ourselves to reach a place we struggle with…our truth, our love so that we can then give from there.
      Thank you for the share dear lady, at the least we are showing a way forward, a signpost to that path. Unconditional is just that, each and every one of us must make that decision to dare its path or not. It must be self chosen or it loses its unconditionality and becomes just like all those other authoritarian things you mentioned. Have a great unconditional day dear lady, may your wings always fly unbound 😀❤️🙏🏽

      1. I know the Integrity of our own parliment can I feel truthfully be measured on one hand. I’ve seen only 3 stand up to put their heads in the firing line to then get shot down.
        But a reckoning IS coming.
        WE have to realise can not have others making collective choices .
        How that comes about I don’t know, but it has to change.

  2. Our lives are just that, that journey of going through a life maimed by that fear, a lie with the weight of the world holding us to it. — very powerful and resonant words, my friend. Healing from the lie, maimed by fear, is a lifelong journey. 🙏♥️

    1. It is indeed kind lady, but for a very beautiful reason. All of it, and I mean each and every step guides us to that destination so that we can see and understand that by going through it all. It is pointing our hearts to an understanding so profound that when we finally see it all, we would do it again in an instant. Each and every one of those steps is showing us a beauty beyond words…the understanding cannot be reached until we touch what went before. It’s like anything we study, it is in its completion that we feel that achievement, and especially the love gone into it. Thank you for sharing dear lady, may that destination reach your heart too…and it will 😀❤️🙏🏽

  3. Beautifully written dear Mark.. your first reply too, now a little more truth! Indeed we go through so much pain before it begins dissolving bit by bit the wall that builds up around our heart, in our realising our beliefs are truly built on untruths. For the young girl (me) it sets her on a path to explore and discover love for herself after so much disappointment at home! AND for the mature woman now she smiles as she looks back at her life, full of compassion, wisdom and freedom for herself and everyone, as she realises her own warmth continues to melt the remnants of deep pain encased within! Thankyou Mark for sharing your story and helping me and so many unravel the truth that is here in life to realise and be free. Much love x

    1. And much love to you also Barbara. You’ve gone through such a long, long journey. A pathway that does indeed touch so much inside us. But you hit it exactly where it needs to go, back into that rejection from home. Now the hard part, to sit and ‘feel’ how it made you feel back then. The part that makes you so angry, so hurt in their actions to you. That time where they truly hurt you so badly that you closed your heart to them…go back there and really imagine how it made you feel, the anger, the rejection. It is there you made a decision, after so long you as a child will finally close over. Why? Sit with it and feel it…push it beyond what you dare…and in there is that instant, that closure, that moment where you made your decision and closed your heart over. Find that moment in what you felt…and it will hit you with a power like no other…and set you free. Big hugs dear lady, it isn’t easy, but I swear to you the love beyond it is the one you’ve ever wanted in your life…your love, the one you rejected in that doubt given to you by your parent/s or those you loved and looked up to. It’s waiting, and always will be, for that moment to set you free ❤️🙏🏽

    1. Very beautiful words Pam, and indeed that is what we do see. And that truth is like a love like no other…ours. Thank you for sharing yours here 😀❤️🙏🏽

  4. Hi Mark, I haven’t gone back to the chapter nor caught up with your previous post about Samantha’s writing, but your reply resonates still the same. The point that you make that I think really drives it home is that in real life we don’t know what to tell mom and dad. Yet it is with the removal of the fear and facing that rejection of love that we courageously take our power back and live our lives in peace. 🙏🏼🌟💗🙌🏻 relief!!!! To be relieved that the whole thing was misdirected! 😃

    1. Our fears are indeed an unintentional passing on of our parents fears Ka. When we are born they had not resolved their own fears so still act them out, unintentionally passing them on as we grow up with them, and in our own way of dealing with them. How many times does someone say…’your just like mom or dad’…we can’t help but act out and learn to be like those we love and look up to. We want to be just like them in heart and mind…until that pain blossoms within us. But it is that very path that is the making of us, that living afraid gives us one side of our emotions in dealing with them, and then finally, fully understanding those fears bring us into those clearer more beautiful emotions. We ever appreciate joy and happiness so much more after being through so much pain and fear, understand truly a heart open after being closed for so long. Thank you for sharing kind lady, may that understanding opening within set you very, lovingly free 😀❤️🙏🏽

    2. It blows my mind how you can write words that speak so directly to everything I am thinking…everything I am feeling! It’s like there is a TV channel of the Universe, and we both are tuned in to the same channel…watching the same thing…and able to discuss it because we see it the same way! Thank you, Mark!! You give me inspiration that I haven’t made it all up…that it is real…and it is important!!!

      1. Very real Lorrie, and truly that channel is indeed plugged into us all. We just interfere with the signal in the beginning, unintentionally blocking it so we just focus on life. But as time goes by we open to that life and we begin to tune in, and that signal becomes more pronounced and in it all is something we never realized before, that love and happiness we had been looking for. Enjoy the journey dear lady, may we all tune it clearly and find what we have always sought 😀❤️🙏🏽

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