When You Finally Do It!
Why do we feel so good when we complete something? What is it that actually ‘touches’ you when you finish something and your proud of it? Is it just being proud or…well, what is proud? What is that nice feeling that goes right through you, makes you take a deep breath, expand your chest and call out to the world…look at me, I did this. Ok, maybe some do it loudly, some a whisper into their hearts. But loudly or softly has a purpose.
You’ve just realized you are better than you thought, gone beyond your self doubts, achieved beyond what you thought possible. Happy that you ‘were’ able to achieve something you thought you couldn’t. Those inner beliefs hold you, and each time you go beyond them you break away a piece of that wall inside, that one built on self doubt, unbelief, low self worth and a lifetime of holding your heart at that level. We may not even realize what we have just done, but we ‘feel’ good in its achievement.
That moment you feel proud is that lifetime of never having gone beyond it, you are now treading in a new space. You have grown a powerful moment so much further, dared fly over new territory in how much you believe in yourself. Shoot, if questioned about it you stand up, hold your ground and back yourself for that whole hundred yards…even if only quietly.
That instant in time is a game changer in many ways. That new belief even dares you to step past yourself in the future and believe in who you are. Dare to attempt maybe a few more things, and hold your ground in who you have now become.
Be proud of that, that moment in time you’ve had a quick peek at what is possible beyond your wall. And no, do not measure it in your heart. You ‘know’ what an achievement this is for you. Others will not understand simply because ‘their’ walls are built so differently than yours. Some will, because they too have been there and can empathize in what it took to achieve it. But just do you. Yes, take a deep breath and be very happy. That was ‘your’ wall that you climbed, and it was a doozy. You’ve been building that for…well, a lifetime. And others may be only trying to defeat you because they haven’t dared to defeat that belief in themselves.
Right, I’m about to dare to post this. You have no idea what it took to post the first one those many years ago. Terrified of some reaction, someone poking at me, being told I’m an idiot to speak this way…and a whole one thousand others things that we go over and over and over in fear of it all. To actually have the courage to stand in my truth. But in shock I found all you guys were fantastic, even cheered me on to even go further. Haha, I won’t even shut up now 😂
Just do it, whatever it is. Believe in yourself and be proud you did 🤗😂❤️🙏
“I can do it because I have done it before” is the ultimate confidence statement.
David Goggins in his book describes”Cookie Jar” method. Were he stores small paper chits containing his achievements. He opens the Jar and read them whenever he is down or have self doubt.
Getting something done is not only about that one task. It opens the gate for many other tasks to get completed.
It does indeed build us in that confidence each task or experience we go through. Almost like each a stepping stone to what went before.
I like the ‘Cookie Jar’ you spoke of, it would indeed be a ‘lift me up’ in those moments of self doubt. Encouragement to take just one more step.
Thank you for sharing your ‘confidence’ in this moment in time 🤗❤️🙏
A comment from my incredible friend Erika over at Share Your Light …
When you mentioned that “each time you go beyond them you break away a piece of that wall inside” it made me look differently at this experience, we all have experienced several times. It made me look from a different angle. It is not only cracking the shell to have more room because we literally grew, but it is also dropping some of the boundaries we had built up and lived with for much too long.
“Others will not understand simply because ‘their’ walls are built so differently than yours.” That is the next important realization that stops competing with others. We don’t need to be better than others. That doesn’t lead anywhere since we are “built differently” and everybody has a different concept of how to reach the goals they set before coming into this world. It is only in becoming better than I was. Nothing else.
When I realized that I myself built up all of those fears and self-doubt, I knew that I could basically become whatever I want. As much as I could build up walls, as much I can create goals and ways to reach them. I am still working on this, but with determination and the knowledge that it is only up to how far I want to go – not how far others let me.
I am so happy, I found this post today. I missed it since I am not on WP on weekends (and I might have missed a few that way). It confirmed and encourages me to keep up my direction! Thank you so much, Mark 💖
Well written Erika, this journey touches each of us so very differently, but always towards that incredible love. It was the one thing that Spirit showed me. It doesn’t matter the color, creed, religion or place, that love is ever there, ever showing us its beauty. A trip or a stumble, emotional upheavals or those many letdowns we touch… means so many things so differently to so many people…but they all raise or lower those boundary walls to that love all around us.
Spirit said…if there was no sadness, then with what would we measure happiness. No appreciation of anything can be gained unless we follow both trails. We try to live up to others expectations until we realize we can’t, that ‘conditional’ love, from us and them, wants us to see one side. Until ‘unconditional’ love is realized in experienced those conditions and we see another side of love. Our walls do indeed have a very profound purpose, as we understand us each time we ‘chip away’ another piece to find that truth of what we are underneath it.
And definitely yes kind lady, we can indeed become whatever we want…if we dare it. And in that very moment we have told ourselves we are so much better than what we ever hold within, can become that love and happiness we ever search for….if we go beyond what we were taught, what we experienced, to become more than that. Much more than that. As you said, you slowly see your worth when you dare to see what is holding you back. And that pattern has only ever been those fears and doubts…so that we reach that wall and no longer want to be held in its pain. Then the light is slowly seen through that first crack in that wall, we see that through there is something more. And a new trail is begun.
A powerful comment Erika, you explained it very well. Literally from somewhere we can all relate to. Thank you, it was a delight to read 🤗❤️🙏
Sometimes we just gotta do stuff anyway, regardless of whether a random person will find fault with it or find offense. When I started writing I thought my lived experience was very different from my brother’s when it came to our mother, so I was hesitant to write about what I experienced. I later discovered that though his experiences were different, he still experienced our mother’s harsh, even cruel side. That made me realize that we just need to own our own truths, that just because someone hasn’t experienced exactly what we have, doesn’t invalidate their experience or ours.
As for the random people? In the years that I’ve been blogging, I haven’t had one person tell me to kick rocks, that I wasn’t speaking in a good way. Even so, we can’t please all the people all the time. Your voice is unique to you, and you are attracting people who relate to what you’re saying!
Indeed we are very unique Tamara, facing our bits from very different directions, even if in the same environment. It was a powerful discovery to see that my brothers and sister were all in the same place, but we all had our own unique fears. I didn’t understand at first, simply because as a child I thought everyone was like me and what we experienced in that family environment. But life in its wisdom soon gives you many more experiences so I could see those differences. Even if we do indeed share much, it is always viewed from those individual places.
And you are right in one aspect, writing on here attracts those on this path, in whatever direction that may be. Or even those that may not be, but can appreciate others however their path is taking them. I actually obtained more flak from those close to me rather than on here which was interesting. But I suppose that is what friends are for, to poke you in our journey and dare us to look deeper. I’ve even had some people that are shocked when they see what I do, and even disappear. Such is our paths.
You have been on a powerful path yourself kind lady, touched those things for you so you can see that love within and understand the world in a whole new way in those steps. Yes, be proud of it, it is indeed that unique part of you that is found even more. It may not feel that way at the moment for all the emotions coming to the surface to face in that journey of grief, touching so many things. But much love and light to you in what you find as you walk that path. And thank you for sharing what you have touched, it is helping me, and the many on those paths ❤️🙏
What a great uplifting post, Mark! I so agree that fear that we can’t do something or be judged by our peers is very paralyzing and keeps us from even trying. For those of us who feel or have felt this way we have to learn how to trust ourselves and just break the chains that hold us down. How we do this is by loving ourselves, believing we can, not be afraid of failure, and simply not giving a damn about what anyone thinks of us. Just stand tall and be you.
Hey Michele, very well said kind lady. This is indeed us creating us, daring to go beyond whatever walls we build and find that beauty of love within us in going beyond them ❤️
It is a long journey but if it wasn’t so difficult we would barely remember those ‘attempts’ at finding that love within, and in doing so appreciate what it took to find us.
Beautifully written my friend, from a heart that has gone there and found the beauty written within. Thank you for sharing it 🤗❤️🙏
Thank you, Mark 🙂
And thank you Michele, for sharing that beautiful garden found within you 🤗❤️🙏
A comment from my lovely friend Ginger…
Awesome post Mark. Getting past our own shortcomings is quite an achievement.
Thank you Ginger, it is a great journey. To slowly grow and get past our ‘stuff’ teaches us a great harmony of that love within us. Fear is always faced as such a horror, and it is. But to dare to face it brings an inner beauty no words can truly describe…but a heart alight is a much more profound statement. Thank you for the share kind lady, may your path be opened and lit well from that very journey 🤗❤️🙏
I love this post, Mark…especially now at this time in my life. Had you posted it any time sooner I would not have had the same experience. In the past, accomplishments were nothing but a way to try to get validation from others. And the “others” from my early life…well they just never gave it. no matter what I did. So long after I was in their immediate world, I took over their ways and it didn’t matter how much I accomplished, I never impressed myself and was therefore always striving to climb that wall. If I was able to get a little traction, I would soon slide down.
But life is a journey. A big beautiful, wonderful journey! And I have connected to the perfect Divine love and now understand what it means to love myself. And that is a huge ingredient in being able to be proud. I love your words…your meaning. I love that I can now FEEL what you are talking about and know that it is not arrogance…or being conceited.
I made a huge art project this summer and I hung it on the wall in my office. When I am on Zoom meetings, this piece of art hangs behind me…AND IT FEELS GOOD! People have noticed it and complimented it. And I have accepted those compliments in full love and appreciation. It is the perfect backdrop hanging behind me…something I CREATED…and something that I AM PROUD OF!
So you see your post came at a perfect time for me because I just yesterday thought about this journey and realized how different I am. ❤️
I love your blog, Mark. I am so happy you decided to push that first "publish" button and have continued to grace us with your presence here in blogland. You should be proud! You always speak from your heart, from your soul, and you always make me proud!! So happy to have met you here and to have been able to share our thoughts and hearts. Bless you, friend!
Thank you Lorrie, it is amazing those things that speak to us. At the right time and place, almost like love ‘knows’ our hearts journey and just keeps dropping them in like a house call to check we are ok ❤️
Our path does indeed begin with those friends of fear, trying to obtain that acceptance of love but through something that leaves us struggling. And as you said, never receiving that validation because of it. That monster lurking always runs a cover over us so nothing gets through but what it chooses. A slippery slope indeed kind lady, never seeming to gain any traction because we can’t see the steps at our feet, blind to anything but that need to feel that love…but on the wrong path…well, no…on the right path but having to understand that it is only us blocking those steps. But we have to understand those steps so that we can appreciate what it took to find them, use them, and go beyond what ever held us back. Only then will it open to a gateway we finally open in our hearts.
You have done well Lorrie. I’ve watched you open that gateway after many a struggle, dared that path to stand up and speak who you really are, even if in the beginning it was fears territory. But you told it ‘no’ and did it anyway. That breakthrough regained who you really were, broke through life’s wall of negativity, low self worth, pain, and feeling unloved. To then find in doing so there was a love waiting for you, opening another land inside that had been there all along but couldn’t be felt because of that wall we had.
And the instant I read about your art and you had hung it behind you, I ‘knew’ the heart that had been opened was free. And yes, be very proud, that journey is one of the biggest things you will do down here to really find you and the love waiting to be free. When it first happens I was so amazed at how profound this moment is for each and every one of us, to finally find us, the truth of us, that thing we have always looked for. That love and happiness sought seemingly forever, finally found. In the beginning it is so strong, but simply because we had never touched something so beautiful, and we sing it from the rooftops. But slowly it becomes us and adapt it into a very loving, mature, but still exciting place we will never let go of.
Glad to know my ‘timing’…loves timing…is truly now a part of your world that ‘you’ have found Lorrie. Enjoy the beauty you have discovered and realize that mountain top has been reached. Now is learning love’s life, no longer struggling up that mountain side but cruising at another delightful, level playing field. Don’t get me wrong, bad bits still happen but they are no longer dragging you by fears doorway, it must now come past your doorway. Loves doorway.
And yes, my path was to guide after having experienced it so that others too would dare that step to find that love they had been ever looking for. We all have our own unique path, through some crazy things…but…we all have our fears, our pain, and our courage to go beyond them. And we will. Glad to be able to share your journey kind lady, and see that self love open in a heart that dared to go beyond it all…and be free, truly, lovingly free. Much love and blessings returned in kind to you my friend, now enjoy this path that has butterflies, flowers and fun all around 🤗❤️🙏
My dear friend…I don’t know how I missed this incredible response! But I am in the middle of traveling…and I need much more time to sit with your words and respond. So please know you touched my heart just now when I read this, and I will think of your response often as I am going to Calgary again to attend the Monologues (the event I spoke at last year.) I have so much to tell you…and I am certain will have much more after this trip. So till then…I send you lots of love and light…and beautiful knowing ☺️💜
Oh that’s great Lorrie. Sending big hugs, lots of love and blessings for a great time. May your heart speak, your love glow, and your courage know no bounds kind lady. Go for it! 🤗❤️🙏
Thank you, Mark! It was incredible!! ❤️
Yay! That is fantastic to hear Lorrie, and an angel has appeared where once stood a rose waiting to grow. Glad to see that light kind lady 🤗❤️🙏
Thanks, Mark! I couldn’t me more grateful for all the Universe continues to offer me! Sending so much love and light <3
Bravo!
Thank you Mariner lady, from someone who dared those waves and went beyond what most would do. My children bought me a trip outside fishing for Fathers Day so I wasn’t too sure if I would even get seasick. So I bought some anti seasick tablets that you took the night before and again on the day. That night they said I talked to the coke machine for an hour while my wife at the time did the shopping. Alas, I don’t remember any of it. But I had a great days fishing though 🤣 Yes, definitely take a bow kind lady, adventures out there under those circumstances do take a courage on their own. Be very proud of that 🤗❤️🙏
Aww, wisdom from the heart precious Mark! Just do you! Climb your own wall! I could highlight SO many lines in your article ~ but….we all here get it!
I’m proud of you, dear friend. Finley and I send our love across the big pond!! ♥️🙏🥰💚🙌🏻🍂🐾☀️ 🐬
Hey, thank you Karla. It is a very powerful journey we take, and each and every step is held with a love beyond words. And we get to see that as we slowly come from behind our lives to within, and in doing so reach a place that words can barely express ❤️
I wish I could express that love I touched ‘up there’, give everyone courage to sing and dance (you sing beautifully, but do you dance too Karla? I think I have two left feet 🤣), but it is there waiting for us to open to it all. And those moments takes us a little closer each time as we dare, then appreciate us, in each of those heartfelt proud moments in daring to go beyond them 🤗🙏
Love gratefully received and returned in kind to you and Finn dear lady (sent by big pond water courier as normal (I saw two out front yesterday, they must have been waiting for the message 🤣)).
You are doing well my friend, your belief in it precedes you like one of those magical waterfalls you suddenly come across in the forest. I am proud also of what you share with us, that journey of a soul to find itself. You too be proud of that, sharing such a journey does indeed take courage…for its depth, meaning, and the discovery of what love truly means in experiencing it 🥰❤️
Many hugs to you, and thank you for sharing that love found 🤗🥰🤣😎🛵🥾🐾🦓🎶🦢🦋🕊️🐬🐳❤️🙏
Haha I’m in love with this whole post. You’ve really spoken your mind and heart, and I love it so much. It definitely relates to me internally and to the mission I have to climb those walls within and bring them down, ultimately. Thank you, dear Mark!! Keep going. I’m so so glad you did the first time, and now; and, that I got to meet you!
Why thank you Ka. I’m glad it spoke to that place in your heart you could relate to and remember those proud moments you touched as you grew, in heart and soul 🤗
It is a very powerful journey, a heartfelt moment to every now and then know we have gone beyond ourselves and become a little more free in that love that we are. Glad to have met you too kind lady, another proud heart to share with the world. Thank you 🤗❤️🙏