Decided to dance a little deeper in life, and wow can spirit dance!

Sunrise

Life!

As many are aware I recently had a rather abrupt health problem a couple of months ago which I posted about earlier in a few posts as it progressed…’As Above, So Below’, ‘To Live, First Allow Yourself’, ‘A Perspective Of Life’, ‘Hope’, ‘The Last Day’ and now this post. Each time I thought it had touched what it needed to for my understanding and resolved itself, but no, another event would take it a step further so that I could ‘see’ properly. Each moment was a step. Each time I thought that this couldn’t possibly go further or I would die. But it did. And in fact the post on this (‘Hope’), touched something that I haven’t spoken of yet as it has done the one thing that I thought wasn’t possible. I have been shown over the years so many things by Spirit that my confidence in my journey is beyond words, simply because I thought that all my fears had been dealt with, leaving me in such a place that I thought even death no longer worried me in any way.

Ah, the minds and ego’s of men. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. I haven’t done this post till now because on the night I almost died I was shown something that I literally could not fathom at all, it went against everything I knew up until now, of what I believed of myself. It was so powerful that Spirit left me to digest it, this was somewhere I had to go on my own because what I saw and felt tore my foundations of ‘self’ completely out from under me. It left me in shock because of what I initially saw, to me, I did not think was possible. In hindsight…I needed to see to understand, to see so that I could appreciate just what is there.

Let me explain, and I will say now that I have had to debate long and hard to even be putting this into words as it can be quite abrupt to many because of what I experienced. But remember, THIS WAS SPECIFICALLY MY JOURNEY and what I needed to see…and possibly because it is what I believe happens in all else in our lives. So remember these following next two sentences as you read further below.

‘All events in our lives have their opposites so we can understand. We cannot know and appreciate happiness unless we know and appreciate our experiences of sadness too, as with all of our emotions in our lives.’

So to now go to the ‘event’…I had waited too long in calling the ambulance and had reached a point where I could no longer speak to do so anyway. (IMPORTANT NOTE: I did not know this but (in Australia at least), I found out later that even if I had my ‘location’ turned off on my mobile phone you CAN still call an ambulance anyway and they will track it back to where you live (or where your currently located at), if you cannot speak for any reason).

So I was on my hands and knees on the floor of my kitchen, I couldn’t breathe but for a very tiny gasp in and out due to my lungs inflaming (from the emphysema), to the point that even the gasp of air had to be forced in and out. It is such a pronounced moment that you can barely think of anything but trying to get some air. I first tried to reach my hand out to ‘something, anything’ to help me…but there wasn’t anything there. What do you reach for to help you breathe? I started to even move out of the kitchen towards its doorway…seeking…what? And in that instant two things happened. The first was…I was thinking this is it, I’m going to die and all I could feel was this incredible loss and dare I say it (this scared me more than anything else that happened)…it was like every piece of love that ever existed was taken from me and left me absolutely rejected and tossed into hell. It was the most horrible thing I have ever touched in my life, I felt that I had not been good enough and there was no other chance at anything. I was done, had my chance and lost it. It was just so terrible I can hardly put it into words.

I do not know how long this lasted for but it must have only been seconds when the next instant hit with even more force than the first. And it was in that moment that God (and I do mean God), touched me with a very profound touch and thought of…I am the giver of Life…and left me stunned as He moved away. Spirit was there but this moment gave such a feeling that I was to understand that the gift of Spirit had shared so much with me but only God had the gift of Life.

Trying to absorb such an incredible moment while barely able to breathe was hard enough but I think the important part was understanding that, like all else in this world there are always two sides. Like happiness and sadness, neither can be appreciated for what they are unless they are both experienced and felt for what they truly are. I have experienced life in so many ways over the years and to now have that ‘life’ taken away has stripped me bare of any attitudes of confidence or knowing or what’s important or not. It leaves you KNOWING that down here is one of the most incredibly beautiful gifts we will ever be given…so that we can see truly the gift of unconditional love. We must touch this conditional side in all that we do down here so we can know and understand unconditional love.

And just so that my ‘condition’ was understood properly, I had very, very slowly begun to breathe again, slowly getting a tiny bit more and a tiny bit more until I felt I’m ok. So I sat up on my heels and went straight into another coughing fit to take me back to no breathing again, even worse than what it was before. To which Spirit said…you are being shown this a second time so that you do not ‘justify’ this event as ‘chance’…life is a gift, appreciate that gift.

Again, I very slowly regained my breath till I eventually dared to attempt to sit up again. After a long time I got up as it appeared that the emergency medicine I had taken earlier had finally began to work (or maybe God’s compassion), and went and sat on a chair and could do nothing but try to understand what I had been shown. Yes, it was terrible, but as I say, on its other side is something so profoundly beautiful. It has taken me a long time to digest something that most never get to see…except those that have survived ‘their’ encounter with death from accidents etc. And even they may not touch these things but I do know this…you are forever changed by touching its doorway, and in that I believe is its purpose. Like all else it gives us an understanding of what we truly do have down here, and will appreciate even more when we go up there.

Please believe me, I now understand better what life is, and what its like to have it taken away. Down here may seem like a hell some days, but truly it is a place in our hearts that we change each day as we experience it in all its ways. It can do nothing but change us each step we take. I was blessed…yes blessed, with seeing and touching something beyond words. I will never be the same…as you will also each step you take. Yes, it does hurt, but its opposite is to heal in a way that opens and allows us to appreciate that love hidden behind our walls. I thought I was impervious to life’s pain…Life had other ideas, so that I could see the beauty that God has given us with a great love, an unconditional one so that we will take those steps to feel and touch that love and happiness we have always looked for ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

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52 Comments

  1. Oh, Mark!!! Tears are in my eyes! What a powerful event you had. Wow!! It is SO true you cannot understand until you experience the opposite. The extremes you experienced …… you really must have a tough head to knock open, that is all I can say. Yes life is a Gift, a Gift most do not appreciate. I am so glad you are alive so that you can share what you have learned. Every time I am plunged into the death pit, it is horrible beyond words and at times wish I were dead as well rather then to feel this depth of heart pain. Yet every single time I come out on the other side, I am higher, lighter, and able to love even more. I too have had NDE’s yet in them I did not experience hell. I only experienced a deep sense of relief that I was out of here. Thank you for sharing such a deeply profound event. I understand perfectly for your “death throes” reflects mine when I lose one I love. You have cleared a huge block of “something” that was preventing you to achieve all you are meant to in this life. Phenomenal!! xo

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Ah dear Amy, I almost wet myself laughing with your ‘tough head to knock open’, it really got me going, thank you. It must be the ‘male’ aspect, a bit ‘slow’ up top to sink in. That was a start to my day I could do every day πŸ˜‚ 🀣
      And you most certainly faced not just a physical death but a heart felt one…so many times lately. Those little angels are in a beautiful place now but their ‘mom’ needs this journey to find what you now have, the beauty in realising they gave so much to you, in life and beyond. They will always be in your heart dear lady, they have created a part of it in your journey, that love cannot be broken. And most certainly ‘yes’ to that gift that life is, to have it removed was something I never wish to experience again…but…in doing so it did indeed give an appreciation of what we really do have down here. All those things we take for granted, not realising just how much beauty is here. Just like your pictures dear lady, your awakening from having the courage to face and speak to your mom has allowed your heart to open and ‘see’ what truly is there. Many will see into what is there as they also deal with the blindfolds that fear is, and as they are set free they can live, really live with a love that has been gently waiting inside for those moments of freedom. My ‘block’ was those inner fears I had not seen in this way, it was a a very profound sight to have it all lunged at in an instant so that there could be no other path but its truth. And that resultant opening clears our sight to another world, the one that has been always here waiting for us to step through. Those last pictures were just that my friend, a share of what you can now feel and see. It is a pleasure to ‘feel’ that opening and realise your on that path home. Hopefully I’ve stepped clear of the rubble on my pathway and it’s the last path towards home too. Thank you for sharing kind lady, much love and light for that pathway! xo πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • Oh my goodness!!! Your response was so honest and so funny I in turn laughed so hard picturing you almost wetting yourself. As my husband knows, I say what I mean and mean what I say. Teehee ….. Ah so I did speak a wee bit of truth. Hmmmm ….. Yeah I do know a thing or two especially when “Spirit” gets my fingers going. Fear will blitz us, will stifle us, will suffocate us, and eventually kill us. Profound indeed your sighting was, my friend, for in almost dying you perceived a lens on life you never before saw. GRIN! Truly good stuff! I don’t recommend your way of healing, um no. But as you say it was your journey. Terrifying and liberating all rolled in one! No worries about me stepping on your rubble. I’ve learned what is mine and what is others and only stumble on my own rubble, thank you. I feel strongly this was your last stronghold, hence the reason why it was so drastic. Spirit didn’t know what to do anymore to get you right on your path for all other “chances” were ignored by you. True? I relate, believe you me. Now when I’m “called” I listen!
        I KNEW before my heart knew Whispers’ end was drawing near. Why? A cat I still to this day don’t know who, walked across my bed one night about a week before he left, a cat I KNOW did not want me to identify him or her. My messenger came to me giving me the knowledge there is no death and that Whispers would soon be going to another realm. I’m handling this loss in a completely different way. Your transformation will be life altering. So will mine. Death is only an illusion, one that most of us fear. Both of us know LIFE goes on yet LIFE now is what matters the most. I am just so thrilled for you that the Way has been cleared and you are about to embark on a Journey that shall dazzle you. I am so happy for you, Mark. xo

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Thank you Amy, it was indeed a heart stopper…so I could start it again…but this time on the right path. I knew what it was to understand that we cannot know happiness truly until we had experienced sadness too. It give much more appreciation of them both to see them both. But the one I stumbled with was ‘life’. I thought I understood life…but even I took so much for granted, so when it was ‘removed’ it showed so, so much that it left me like a fish out of water. It has now taken nearly three months and I can still barely get my head around what I felt and saw. And as you so well know dear lady, yours are not ‘pictures’ like everyone thinks they are, you can now see the ‘life’ within them. I too can now see from a much clearer window, and this one has a lens like nothing else. And I do hope that I don’t have to ‘heal’ that way too often, it rocks the boat somewhat. Yes, it was needed…but to be ‘touched’ like that truly removes those old shaky foundations severely…to everything. I thought I could see…but only the blind could truly appreciate a light never seen before, and I had been blind. Don’t get me wrong, I just had my sunglasses on which took the edges off everything. And I hope you are right dear lady, I so hope that was the last stronghold. We are a tough bunch, fighting to hang on thinking it is survival…just the wrong life jacket is all 🀣
          Thank you for sharing my friend, and your blessings which are returned in kind. And thank you for encouraging the laughter to resurface, it will heal anything xo πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸ˜‚ 🀣

          • Mark, you are going to find out now that your eyes are open that you will have to learn how to shield from harsh energies. The more sensitive you become and the more open you become, the more harsh energies hurt. Picture a duck that allows water to flow off its back. Be like that duck. Step into flow and stay there. The moment you drop into lower emotions that flow ceases.
            I wasn’t walking for nearly 2 years. THAT was my death throes scenario. It took me many many years later to cherish life in every moment. I take nothing for granted now. Nothing. I cherish all I have and have gotten off the boat chasing the new and better. Nope. I love my life as is. When my heart guides me to get new equipment for example, I shall. I’m content with what I have and have no desire for anything else. When you see, really see, the magic and majesty and true wonder in all of life blows you away. I can actually see energy now. I have this way of gazing outside to see what I term tadpoles zooming with light. I see them. Amazing what you can see with eyes wide open. Now you can see the life the divinity in my photography for that is how my heart connects. I am so so happy for you! What is in store for you is unlike anything you could have dreamed of. I wouldn’t trade my peace for example for anything in this world. It is solid and it is true. May your day be glorious and filled with magic that leaves your mouth dropping wide open. Fear fear go away, do not come back another day. SMILE!! xo

            • Mark Lanesbury

              Thank you Amy. it is indeed ‘another place’ after such a connection. The ego has been relegated even further back and allowed a more serene life where I’m just flowing along, so many things are melting away and left me in a more peaceful way. And yes to those energies dear lady, it took many years to realise it was only my holding onto my fears was also holding those energies. The more I resolved the fear the more I could ‘let go’ of the energies around me. The flow took some doing but I thankfully no longer take on from others and became your ‘duck’. That is a very good analogy Amy, it truly gives a vision of that action. I don’t have your tadpoles my friend, I think that they are your gift that God has given you to do your magic with your pictures. I get to ‘feel’ hearts, mind you I haven’t really tested that since the ‘event’ as my own has taken quite a hit and needs a rest. But the oddest thing…my missing my horse friend that I did a healing on up north. The urge to ‘connect’ with another again is very strong. And just to reinforce that I had a Shetland pony walk past my place here yesterday, a lady leading it with a young child on its back. And I do ‘feel’ something coming quite strongly. But this time it is strong but I feel I am in a better place to face it. We shall see what we shall see Amy, it all happens for a reason so that we can indeed cherish the beauty we have been given. And thank you for sharing the beauty you hold in your lens Amy, it is a lovely gift to touch and share with us all. May they always be our normal and fear but a memory xo πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

              • Listen to your heart, dear friend, and pay attention to the signs you are getting. Nothing is a coincidence. The relationship I have with Karma, the horse next door, is one I am unable to to put into words. We whinny back and forth and it thrills me so hear her talk to me like that. I’ve learned her “pitch and tone” so that I can pretty much mimic her. I get such a kick out of it. The flow that you speak of will become more evident as time passes. Hubby laughs at me sometimes because he knows I live by flow and he lives by blueprint. He’s amazed how I don’t measure when I make something or how I seem to know when and how to do something without talking about it. It just happens. LOL He’s gotten used to it but there still are days when he just shakes his head questioning how I do what I do. It’s called letting go and flow. It’s amazing. Your heart will NEVER mislead you. I have to do a 12 hour glucose check with Charlie soon and that means pricking his ears every 2 hours. NOT something I am looking forward to but something that must be done. I spoke with Charlie yesterday telling him when you are ready for this, you let my heart know and I’ll do it. And then I trust it will happen exactly as such. I LOVE living like this!! And you will too!!! My hubby’s engineering mind doesn’t know yet how to flow. Perhaps one day he will. Not holding my breath however. LOL xo

              • Mark Lanesbury

                Haha…I love the ‘blueprint’ analogy Amy, it is so how we all live on this earth…until it is time. And you are right, when it is time to really go with the flow…our hearts do just that…and it all comes together for a much different ride. And this one you can truly feel the love in all we do. It even has that inner smile…for no reason at all. I’ll have that with me when I go find my ‘horse’ energy, maybe my friend ‘Amigo’ has returned to share his energy once more. It is indeed something you never forget, as you well know with your furry angels around you. You do indeed speak with them and ‘know’ what they are thinking. I suppose that is why men are brought up with their ‘logic’ thinking to do everything mechanical in building etc forges a thinking pattern that is hard to break. But I suppose in our lives we have to ‘break through’ many things to understand that awareness and just let go and be that flow my friend. We will all get there dear lady. Thank you for sharing your heart Amy, it is good to hear a traveler come by with their heart in their words. May these times be a little more gentle with the health of your babies, and the flow of your heart, I think you have been tested and learned enough with all that has happened. xo πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸ˜‚ 🀣

  2. Dearest Mark… think IΒ΄ve found a way to comment via the reader on jetpack… commenting via your website just doesn’t recognise me! The I who I discovered behind my identity who truly appreciates my life as a gift, the light and dark as it is all part of me, to embrace and remember this great opportunity to live in a world of beauty and art AND experience it all. I didn’t have such a traumatic experience though realising the presence, the gift of life we all are and knowing how it is time to release everything that no longer serves and live in trust in each moment. IAM just thankful you are recovering now, able to write to us and share your experience that is now remembering how to be, to live without the identity and getting caught up in the mundane labels and restrictions presented to us. You are such an inspiration to us all, inspiring us to be our best ever Divine selves and focus on the magic birthing new earth from within before our very eyes. Sending you love Mark and look forward to reading more of your journey… with horses…❀️

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Barbara, I’m at least still getting your posts and sometimes it even allows me to comment like yesterday. God does indeed move in mysterious ways, especially when He has a message for us. It takes a nudge sometimes to ask us to look a little deeper and face those pieces that hold us in fear, but slowly we do take up that ‘knowing’ of who we are truly and step into our self worth in the process. And to be truthful, generationally, those steps are starting to spread from a few to show others that it is possible and allows it to become a ‘normal’ among us, as so many have realised they ‘are worth so much more than this’ in a life that is just driven by that greed and the ‘number’ we are marked with. I think God’s ‘the number of a man’ is becoming so much more apparent with our tax file, license, account numbers for this and that. We are just a number to those in power and treated accordingly. The rumble has begun as change comes through. And yes, it can all be done by just being ourselves and giving from that place, it is spreading accordingly. Just like my ‘meeting’ with those horses. They’re calling too because that is where I am at. We will indeed only attract where we are at. May it be a quiet revolution πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  3. A brave, wonderfully written, amazing account of a profound event. In 2012 I had a near death experience. Different from yours, but with striking similarities. We are all loved and held in such beautiful Light. And now we know that without a doubt. A true gift. Life will never be the same again, will it? Blessings to you, my friend πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ’•

    • Mark Lanesbury

      It isn’t something that your life can experience and not be changed by it. Such profound truths are a shock, but thankfully like all truths it leaves a path open and your heart can do no other than follow what has meaning. We ever seek that love and happiness and when it touches, even in great pain, its love enfolds us to show us we are found, that our path has born fruit and a future lighter, brighter because we dared to inquire. I have had one other ‘experience’ of death ‘The Death’ up on my menu at the top, but it was given to me…this one I had to touch and truly experience to see a message, to truly understand that all we ‘hold’ of this world does indeed withdraw us from ‘Life’. Your experience I have no doubt has changed your heart also, a new path and with it a lovely peace as that new understanding has allowed a ‘let go’ of the old and with it an opening to just ‘be’. Thank you for sharing it here, many blessings to you also. And I hope your journey has now been blessed with the understanding of that moment, I am still digesting the ‘event’ but know that inner touch is a blessing in itself πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  4. Oh my goodness Mark, I am so sorry I had NO idea you had been ill and reading your words made be feel as if I couldn’t breathe……….I am so very sorry you had to go through this but I can tell that it changed you in a profound and positive way. Your words are calm and concise……..I don’t know if I could be a complete sentence together after that. Sending up prayers for you as I write this my friend………..praying God’s blessings over you.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      It was an interesting journey dear lady, in fact it floored me. Mr cool, calm and collected had his bootlaces tied together and pushed big time. BUT…on the way down I was given something so profound I keep bursting into tears…not the painful ones, the ones that touch you all the way inside. I’m still very messy as it has taken the foundations of who I am out from under me, but in that I get to rebuild and leave out the stuff that don’t really matter but we always seem to hold onto them. And talking about breath, the breath of God has since come calling in an incredible book (The Shack, Erika put me onto it, another guardian angel) I am now reading. I tried to read it many times last year but kept getting blocked by…Spirit? God?…until now, as my ‘event’ above needed to happen before I read this or much would have gone over my head because I would not have understood the ‘death’ side of its writing. It has shown me depth in so many ways, I can even ‘feel’ its truth, from a heart that could not speak it unless it had been opened first. Many thanks dear lady, may God also pour those blessings over you too…at the least on the ink stained carpet anyway πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸ˜‚ 🀣

      • Mark Lanesbury

        Actually, Spirit just nudged me, death is the wrong word in my comment above. And as God said to me, it is about ‘Life’, not the death that we carry with us by blocking that life. The book is in fact about a fathers loss of his daughter, but that is only the first couple of chapters. The remainder is about his conversation with God but it most definitely not one of those brow beating, holier than thou books but an incredible conversation that touches…well, everything we hold dear with his beliefs and the answers he had always looked for in his life…that love we always seek. It touches…much ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • Oh wow………just reading your words I can feel some of the power from your experience. I have had a few, where you wish others could experience it so they would know what you were talking about because words cannot adequately describe it. My heart is so happy for you and you will LOVE The Shack……..once I started reading it I had a hard time putting it down which is rare for me.
        Enjoy this journey………

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Thank you dear lady, it is such a moment that words seem to belittle it because the english language wasn’t written to encompass such an event. But the important bit is when you do share it with others, and as you said, with those that have been touched by its magic, allows your heart to stand in the truth of its meaning even more. Mind you, I have no doubt its truth can be felt by others and does the one thing that it is meant to…allow them to question who they are, the beginning of this worlds doubt and what awaits us all in our own way. And I, as difficult as it was, put the book down so I could absorb some parts that I needed to. My ‘foundations’ are a stubborn thing, they are a life’s work and it takes a bit to uncling their tentacles. It is amazing how one belief supports so many others, you take one part down and it snowballs into so many other parts that before you know it an avalanche has begun. Well, I get a new house out of this….and somehow I think the views of this one may be spectacular. Thank you for your share dear lady, it is lovely to hear another traveler on that path πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸ˜‚ 🀣

          • Oh my goodness……I cannot wait to read more and more about how life is going to drastically change for you for the better………what a ride this will be for you!!! And I am so very happy that this terrifying experience has turned into something so positive.

  5. Oh, Mark. You’re taking me back to when my father was ailing. Near the end, he felt he was gasping for air and it was so hard. I wish you didn’t have to go through the physical aspects of this. And yet, you always work to find the lesson–the revelation–and for that, you enrich us all. Wishing you peace and more ease in breathing . . .

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Kristine, it is indeed a difficult thing to do but it has given me something so profound in facing it. And just to top it off I had read about half of ‘The Shack’ but suddenly had been blocked from reading it for many months (I was reading it from an online library)…now I know why. I had to face what I did in my ‘loss of breathing event’ so I could truly understand the message in ‘The Shack’s’ writing. I re-read half of it last night and it has floored me in what was there for me to see. And I had read that part of it before my event and it would have been lost to me if I hadn’t read it again. Spirit guides the journey beautifully, even the parts where you think ‘this is it’, but brings through some incredible things to understand our journey.
      By the way, again, I tried to comment on your post (even after a log out and back in), and because it had refused it the first time, each time I tried to re-send it , it said I had sent that answer before and blocked it. So it is obviously receiving it but won’t ‘put it up’ so to speak. Lol, I must have bad breath or something πŸ˜‚ 🀣

      • Timed to the last second! For sure. The Universe is so wise. I need to remember that. And I’m sorry so many tech issues for you! Not sure why.

        • Mark Lanesbury

          It was a great post too. Oh well, I’ve probably had ‘too’ much to say πŸ˜‚ 🀣

  6. This has been quite an event for you Mark. I’ve never experienced anything like you have described. I believe you’ve been given a very special gift that few have ever received. I have a feeling that your breathing will start to improve now. It’s like you are starting life with a new canvas and all the past hurts are going away. I’m so happy for you my friend πŸ™‚

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Michele, it was an amazing moment to touch. I do feel that a long time ago I dared God to show me where there could possibly be any purpose in a world as crazy as this. I was in the middle of a divorce and all the associated craziness that those times bring. So He did. It was one of those ‘beware what you ask for’ moments. His Spirit made ‘contact’ in Spirits way, but first I had to trip and stumble through all those things or I would not understand them…and pass them on here and in my healing work. Thank you for your lovely blessings dear lady, it has been a long journey and I am breathing better…and interestingly enough…the world, again, looks so much different as I change. I have felt something was going to happen for quite a while but not what did. Now I can feel another ‘event’ is on the horizon…hopefully this is a little more gentle πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  7. This is very touching to read, and you certainly experienced an incredible awareness. πŸ’–

    • Mark Lanesbury

      It was an interesting experience at the least. And I will be the first to say it scared me, truly down to my core. But in saying that, the ‘touch’ from God did the exact opposite. It was quite profound in its particular point of the message was about the life we have. We moan and groan, trip and stumble but when it was being removed from me it was the most horrible thing I have ever touched. And its point was to really realise we are indeed being blessed to be here and be a part of this ‘conditional’ world. It is the very thing that leads us to that love and happiness we always look for, that ‘unconditional love waiting to be freed from the walls we wrap it in inside us.
      Thank you for sharing, and I pray that we all find us in this magic we have down here πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • Mark Lanesbury

        Oh, and I forgot to mention. I was at your site yesterday and I’m having a great deal of trouble commenting on many sites. I tried to leave a comment but alas, like many others, it ‘disappeared’ into the ethers. Quite a few are having the same problem, but at this point it is an unknown cause πŸ˜€

      • Your words are beautiful because of what you are conveying. I hold them close and take heed of what you say. I think you touched a very special place with your very scary experience. The way you expressed the opposites of experience here are needed in order to understand this, your experience of unconditional love & grace. When you say that we are blessed to be in this conditional world, I really want to receive that internally and know it in my actions. Thank you for sharing πŸ™πŸ½πŸ’– May you continue to be blessed and be well and breathe well!

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Thank you kindly Ka for your blessings, they are received with gratitude. Especially the ‘breathing well’ part, to reach a place where I actually think about the air going in and out of my lungs and feeling grateful for it is an amazing place indeed. Even to sit and watch a butterfly, and I mean watch it, not just a quick perusal and say ‘oh, that’s lovely’ and walk off. Everything has such new clean meaning to it, like almost my first ever visit to this planet.
          Clear our hearts and the windows of our souls can see so much better πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  8. I have tears streaming down my cheeks after reading your incredible post and account for your experience rang so true to the center of my heart. Thank you for sharing and for explaining and being so open to your experience. I am grateful you are still here to help us all to understand the experiences in our lives’ journeys. God bless you. May you continue to inspire, to connect and to be with us all in your very special way…I’m happy we’re friends. πŸ’—πŸ₯°πŸ™

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Yvonne, it is an interesting experience to say the least. But of all that has happened to me it always leaves me with a quiet confidence that there is something else there behind it all. Even as much as to say that I am indeed a spiritual being just having a little wander down here. Mind you, its power of understanding of that unconditional love can’t be misread because of all of the tripping and stumbling that we do, in fact it is because of that that we do find what we are looking for ❀️
      And speaking of friendship kind lady, and your horse riding. I keep having this image and feeling of a horse on and off all the time. You haven’t been having the urge for a ride have you? πŸ˜‚ I haven’t been out and about much but I think it would indeed be lovely to ‘touch’ a bit of horse energy, they are lovely creatures πŸ˜€
      Anyway a big hug kind lady, I hope all is well with you and the guys. Sending love and light to you all πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • Mark, I just wrote a long response, but it disappeared as I hit send. Perhaps there’s something in the energies today…
        God bless you and as always, I’m sending heartfelt hugs. I loved the phrase ‘a little wander down here’ for it suits it perfectly. I wish more people would feel that way…
        No horseback riding for now although the cats keep me company with their purring vibrations and love (as do my sons). I do miss all of my wildlife during these winter months. I stare at the tracks left in the snow often, wishing I had seen the deer etc. as they crossed the yard. Hopefully in the springtime I will ‘get back on the horse’ for I do miss it.
        Big hugs to you and keep healing…and writing. You make such a positive impact on all of us. xo

        • Mark Lanesbury

          I have been having so many ‘hiccups’ in my system I’m actually beginning to wonder if there may be ‘higher’ influences at work. (I did get both, so I’ll answer both here thank you). And I think my interacting with others with what I know may interfere with their journey so a little disappear here and there may be part of the equation πŸ˜€
          Thank you for ‘your’ healing hugs to me, that is a blessing no one would interfere with as its built on lots of healing love. That’s the good stuff that makes the world go round and keeps our chins up in these trying times.
          And it is good that at least your ‘nature’ still lets you know they are there by leaving their signatures in the snow, I think I would get up each morning on my verandah and read who visited who during the night as I drink my morning coffee, it would be wonderful…if it maybe wasn’t so cold. I’m not sure where you are but parts of your country really copped a blast from winter. I do hope your ok and your toes are warm at the least πŸ˜€
          And I am getting itchy, the urge to go find a horse has got me to a point that I’m looking online for any horse riding or events of some kind are around my area. Not up to a ride yet but nothing wrong with a little meet and greet, never know who I will find ‘out there’ πŸ˜€
          Thank you for sharing Yvonne, sending lots of love, warm hugs and an urge for Spring to hurry along a little for at least your warm weather nature to arrive, especially the rabbits xox πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸ˜‚ 🀣

          • I will be happily anticipating hearing all about your meet and greet horsey style! That sounds delightful to me!
            Yes, I bundle up even on cold mornings to see who has left me a message (snow tracks)! I do so love the snow!!
            Spring looks as if it may be coming soon. There’s a little lift in the air, a freshness that has the birds chirping a bit more lately. It’s a subtle change here from the drabs of winter, but then again, I love all of the seasons so it’s not a problem for me. I love to experience the transitions from one season to another. It is so special!
            Well, I hope my answer finds you happily sitting on your veranda watching your animals (dolphins, birds etc) and enjoying this present moment of joy Mark!
            Big hugs and lots of love! ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

            • Mark Lanesbury

              I most certainly am enjoying my balcony coffee as we speak Yvonne. Even the baby magpie is whistling away to show me how its done πŸ˜‚ 🀣
              I’ll let you know if man meets horsey, I’ll probably be smiling in my words on here so you won’t miss it πŸ˜€
              You guys take care over there, and yes, the seasonal transitions are truly for us to enjoy the changing seasons and not get bored with a constant…like a job can do.
              Big hugs and lots of love and light returned kind lady, thank you. Have a great day! πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

              • I love that you have your baby magpie to share your coffee time with Mark! I can’t wait to hear about your horse too because I know I’ll hear the smile in your words for sure!
                Big hugs and lots of love to you too…enjoy the week ahead and stay healthy! πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

              • Mark Lanesbury

                You too Yvonne, your spring is upon you with a little heart warmth and hopefully some of your wabbits will return to share your morning coffee πŸ˜€
                Love and hugs returned in kind dear lady, take care πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  9. Oh, yes, I just happened to discover one of my gaps too (when even not half of what you went through) although I thought, I was definitely over that one. Our mind is quickly satisfied but the soul only gives us a break before it reminds us that we need to get up and get to work again. That’s ok… for some reason, we wanted this. So, I hope that you don’t need to go through this again, Mark. I honor you for what you have done here. Thank you!

    • Mark Lanesbury

      And thank you kind lady. Our journeys greet the many that share this in so many ways and your words are just that, a wisdom at the right time and place, thank you. I’m still ‘floating’ and to be truthful it will take years to adjust to simply because of the ‘let go’ of what went before and integrating what I’m now becoming aware of in this ‘new’ way of being. I had felt this coming for quite a while but did not have a clue of what it was. But that is its point, it asked me who and what I was. Normally I would say a ‘healer’ but for some reason I have stepped back from ‘me’ and touching something else. I think a new class has begun. Ah, school again…but do we ever not learn each day πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • Your words speak directly to my heart. We think we understood so much and although we feel like being aware that there is so much more to be understood we receive our wake up calls in depth we would never have expected. That also teaches us that we still are young students. Actually beautiful and comforting, if not the lessons were so taxing at times…
        Have a blessed day, Mark πŸ™

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Thank you Erika, I will have a blessed day. And I think I’ll have to get a bag of apples for the teacher πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸ˜‚ 🀣

  10. Reading your post only proved that everyhting that happens today, happens for the purpose to teach us something from yesterday. And what happened yesterday only happened that we learn from the experience of the oppositions. I throw karma here in too. Whatever bad thing happen to us, are only given for the purpose to heal. The challenge already holds the seed of healing. Only by taking the challenge healing can happen. You experienced it in such a depth which leaves the deepest understanding. I hope that many who read your post get inspired that they don’t turn away anymore or feel cheated by life or God but face the challenge through knowing that it represents a healing fire. Thank you, Mark πŸ’–

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Wow…and thank you Erika. If that isn’t an echo from that visit by God I don’t know what is. Those words are truly reverberating that visit and touching what I need to hear, thank you. It has been quite a disjointing experience to feel what you think you are being stripped (and I don’t use that word lightly), of what you think you are to see beneath the waves of this world and understand so much so quickly. To ‘heal’ as you said from so much emotionally and physically will take some time to re-adjust my total way of being. As I said, I thought I had a quiet confidence in my journey, had come to terms with so much. But obviously my ego had still much covered and this was needed to make even me look deeper at what ‘is there’. I knew so much…but did not ‘know’ it as Spirit so often says to me. We cannot truly understand something until we experience it. Hopefully I don’t have to have a re-run for that one…until its time of course. And I too hope that others can feel that there is indeed much hope for what is in this quite hard journey. Yes we trip and stumble, but beneath it all is something very wonderful.
      Thank you again my friend, your words pointed me in a different direction, your heart has spoken. I have faced my walk in the fire, now let me hear…and heal πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  11. This was an incredibly profound and deeply personal journey. Very few will ever experience it, certainly not to this degree. Now is the time for reflection and understanding. And that will take time. Thank goodness you came through to the other side, our side.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Pam, it has left its mark indeed. To experience something so powerful as to leave you in such a shock, and to take it all in is incredible at the least. And I am still, as you said, having to reflect on almost all that I am as it has truly stripped away so much. A gift like this is truly…well, a gift ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  12. Insightful experience! You have been blessed with a great gift, an experience like no other. πŸ˜‡

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Even though as painful (emotionally and physically), as it was, it has left me feeling so ‘touched’ that nothing is the same anymore. Those moments of great impact, especially where your life is threatened, will always leave you questioning your priorities in life. And with that moment with God to accentuate it beyond anything I have ever been through before, has left me a little lost to be truthful as it truly took away what I thought was me, those things we think are important etc, that foundation of what we believe about ourselves. As time has gone by I’m beginning to realise that I have indeed been given a great gift to release what no longer serves me and now have a very open path. A new adventure. Thank you for sharing this moment Astrid, at the least I hope it gives others a hope of what is truly there for us all ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  13. Wow Mark. What a revelation. So grateful you are still here πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ’•

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Me too dear lady, me too. It shook my cage severely at the time and I must admit to it shifting what I thought was me. When you see something like that from another angle, suddenly the story changes dramatically. It gave me an appreciation of life like nothing else ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

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