Decided to dance a little deeper in life, and wow can spirit dance!

Sunrise

Tag: Pain

The Love in Time!

Many years ago I had an ‘event’ where I was with a friend suffering from a bipolar condition, and during the evening she was emotionally escalating and I could feel the emotional pain that she was beginning to go through. And as my heart went out to her because of the fear I could feel within her, something happened. In that instant I was suddenly no longer there, I had opened and given from my empathy so deeply that I ‘let go’ of this world and was in such a place that was so beautiful, peaceful and loving. One moment I was touching that place where you feel so heartfelt for someone else’s pain, and suddenly I just ‘let go’. My awareness knew no bounds and an elation beyond anything I could describe even though I could still ‘feel’ myself sitting on my lounge…but not.

And while I was within this place I ‘knew’ everything, I did not have to ask. And the one thing that did stay with me was the total unconditional love all around me…because I had ‘let go’ of me and given with such an open heart, no longer guarded and held by those things that hold us back in ‘this’ world. And that there was no ‘time’ as it did not exist in a way that I could measure or feel its progress, it just ‘was’.

Well since that ‘event’ I have noticed something quite interesting. Depending where we are at within ourselves time does some amazing things. Have you noticed that if you are in a beautiful place feeling happy and elated, that time seems to fly on by. But if you are in an unhappy, or sad place, the time seems to drag on, especially if it is a time of real pain like the passing of someone very close or going through a divorce etc, almost to the point you can feel each and every second that goes by. There are even times that when something really amazing in our lives happens, time seems to almost go in slow motion, like we’re trying to absorb every single second of something that has great meaning for us, and we look back and ask ourselves ‘what just happened?’ as we relive something that leaves a great impact on our lives. We even think it flew by, even though we can touch many emotions and feelings that went with each and every part of it. One of those events that we never forget because it touches us so deeply.

I feel that time is our teacher, coming here so that we can fully experience the many things that we go through, touching the feelings that they bring. Slowing down in those hard parts to appreciate just what message they bring, so that in understanding ourselves a little more, that self love is built a little stronger and our vibration speeds up, coming a little closer, clearer and quicker to our destination.

When we are so madly in love, we feel we can fly, time no longer has any meaning…imagine where we would be when we love ourselves unconditionally…and it IS there waiting for us, I have touched it, when I fully opened and let go of this world. And we are all capable of doing that because that is what this world is built on…finding more love and empathy each time we go through those many hard things, able then to give that empathy to another because of what we have experienced.

But most of all, they each show us our love, unblocking those many fears in our life, unraveling what holds us back. Those fears block time, almost making it go backwards as we go through them many times, asking us to relive their pain so that we can break free in their understanding. Finally letting go of that time loop that we always seem to be in.

Have time for another in their time of need, it will speed theirs up. But most of all, have faith and believe in yourself, that self love is the cushion of time and will soften and speed this flight of a lifetime and show you an amazing journey in each step you take.

How many times have you come close to ‘letting go’ and opening to that place within, touching something so profound in the depth of your many emotions, opening your heart to the beauty of love’s tenderness? It is there…waiting, for it knows your destination, using a timetable so incredible that you will look back and see the many visits where your heart did open and show you a new path, each one coming closer to that place we call home. That final time when we ‘let go’ to be that timeless unconditional within us all <3

To Live!

As many would know, spirit spoke to me about 5 years ago and said that I would die when I was 60. And as everything else that spirit spoke to me about has come true, I had no doubt that it would happen.
This left me to face some very big and entrenched fears in my life, and in doing so, thankfully, I have climbed and removed many walls in my life, understood the reasons behind those fears so that I am now free from their tyranny.
Don’t get me wrong, they have a very important part in our lives. In living them and enduring their pain, it shows us compassion and the ability to love ourselves as nothing else can.
So I find myself in a beautiful place in my life…so spirit decided it was time to look a little deeper…much deeper.
Spirit came to me and said (and I wasn’t even thinking of death or anything even associated with it)…’Who said you would not live again!’ And that was it.
It was so out of nowhere that I wondered if I hadn’t ‘seen’ something after all that death had so far shown me.

  1. Would I literally die, but come alive again. Like those stories you hear about people dying on the operating table but ‘coming back’?
  2. Would I truthfully ‘live again’ in the spirit world.
  3. Or would I ‘live again’ in another lifetime.

I have thought about it for a while and the one thing that it showed me promise for on my journey is…it doesn’t matter. And in realising that I’m comfortable that it no longer ‘holds me back’.
Maybe that was what it was for…to ‘see’ that we will all be alive again…once our walls come down <3

Joy…is it a myth?

This post is triggered by a friend, Leigh, who was wondering out loud in her post, ‘Joy, what is it?’ , and its part in her life. So I thought I would pass on what I personally found, and maybe it will help or give an understanding in something that we all ask at times in our lives.

In my own journey I felt a joy from what I was taught…lets say it was my birthday (as a child) was coming up, so I would get all excited and happy leading up to it. And children are much more unconditional until ‘life’ gets in the way. So it was my environment guided me in many things like this, from what I was shown and experienced as I grew up.

But the one thing that never seemed to be satisfied, was this ‘something’ that I never seemed to reach, a place where everyone said I would be happy when I reached it, but in finding this ‘so called’ nirvana, it left a lingering hollow that just didn’t touch what I thought would be ‘joy’. A career, home, partner, children and so on would bring it into my life, but never a lasting one to make you feel you had found ‘it’, that place we all search for.

Until I did ‘touch’ it, after picking myself up off the floor in a crying heap as I finally ‘saw’ what was truly holding me back. After a divorce, severe anxiety, loss of family and friends…I finally dared to look within and ask that question…’is this it down here, a life of misery and pain?’, as my fear dragged me kicking and screaming into changing what I had re-inforced my whole life up till that point.

Through my life I saw one thing, and one thing only…as a child it was my reaction to (I felt), was my dad treating me in such a way that I felt he didn’t love me, and that I couldn’t handle it anymore…so I blocked him emotionally (I was a grand old age of about 7 or 8). And anyone else who said they loved me needed to then ‘be’ a certain way to prove themselves, and I would drown them in some artificial love (because it had conditions tied to it everywhere), by sending flowers, invite them out, do grand things for them…all built on my fear of not being loved, being rejected by those who I loved and looked up to. Of which I carried on into adult hood.

So began my journey to find ‘why’, and once I saw what it was….I finally let go something that had weighed a ton on my life up to that point, physically, emotionally and most certainly spiritually as I had blocked it with all my walls.

My point being, once that fear was finally understood, you let go, and I mean really let go of expectations (of you and others), wants, needs, judgement, and a million other things that we don’t realise we do in avoiding that fear. The world completely changed overnight…well, actually I did…and without that one constant of fear affecting everything that I did…I began to ‘see’…and I mean really ‘see’ what had always been there, but I was blinded by my walls.

Let me show you an example of how it happens….your boss asks you to do something for your work, it is going to take some serious effort to get done so it will take over your life while you finish it. It is done at work, at home, in the shower and even sidetracks you in your family life. When you finally come back up for air at the jobs end, half your life has passed you by. A child’s birthday missed, a presentation for a family member or even friends invites are ignored.

And that is what fear does, it blinds you to life, keeps you on-guard and sidetracked in so many ways. But when it is finally understood, it is YOUR jobs end. You will release it because it no longer has power over you. You…are…free.

And in that freedom is a relief, release and self love because of what you have endured to see it for what it is, and break free of that life of drudgery.

And then something comes in that you weren’t expecting….you can now ‘see’ life (dancing under your tree’s Leigh 🙂 ), and it brings a joy like no other. It is a feeling that you have never had, simply because it has been blocked all your life. And there where it has always been is…your lovely tree’s on a roadway :), a butterfly with beautiful wings, flowers with color that you have never been able to really see before, even just a child’s happy face.

You can even now see and feel joy in others, because you ARE now joy because of what you now understand within yourself.

Yes, through your life you will feel bursts of joy in different events, simply because you have let your fear go, its overpowering reins on your life for just a while…until it slowly comes back in, reminding you of what you hold deep within.

That is our journey, to find that joy, in the love we have of ourselves. It holds so much joy unlike anything in this world…but it is only blocked by that wall of fear. Beneath that wall is an indescribable beauty…a place that will bring a smile from within like no other, regardless of where you are, whenever you are…it is timeless, and very unconditional.

I wish I could just show you what I found…but then you wouldn’t understand, because you hadn’t experienced giving that love to you, and finding that joy…the most important part of this entire journey down here 🙂

Loving Ourselves!

Loving ourselves (unconditional), is our natural state, it is only the fears and walls that we build that block it. And as each fear or wall is removed we begin to ‘feel’ on a much different level.

It becomes easier and easier to understand and have much empathy for another, because of the love we actually give ourselves BECAUSE we have looked into those fears, had the courage to face them, and once understood we release them, they no longer hold us in the patterns that we give them.

Most people do not understand what it means to love ourselves. When we love another it is built with so many expectations (and I might add, a needed lesson like any other), because we look for beauty, attitudes, strength, and those other things like money, security etc. But when we give love to ourselves….there is no expectation, it is an unconditional love.

We don’t first look for something so that it is accepted when we face our fears, there are no conditions when we finally gain the courage to look within, see our pain for what it is, and finally understand what had kept our walls in place and then by removing them in that understanding, give that love to ourselves within that healing.

We remove the duality of feeling a low sense of self worth (by isolating ourselves by building walls to keep it at bay), and finally accept ourselves for exactly who we are. That is unconditional love, and not an expectation within miles.

Once we give ourselves that unconditional love, we then give from that place. It isn’t until we love ourselves that we truly can love another, with no expectations.

The following is a very profound and beautiful verse that a lovely lady (Christy) shared with me as a guest post on Michelle’s Lipstick and Laundry blog:


The Uses of Sorrow

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.

(by Mary Oliver, from Thirst, Beacon Press, Boston, 2006)


And yes, that box full of darkness has great meaning. We cannot know that unconditional love until we know conditional love, it has great purpose.

Be brave, be strong and believe in you…for through that darkness is a beauty beyond measure. It is the truth of what you really are.

Namaste

I’m Ok!

But if ok is enough, then you would never appreciate the discovery of that love within. It all leads back inside to finding your truth, that understanding that all your ‘looking’ for something out there, is really back inside your heart. And the only thing that is blocking it, is the fear to look within, that self doubt that we all have from years of having it drummed in that we aren’t good enough, not loveable which builds a wall of self doubt.
Look within, search for that part that upsets you the most, a switch that gets thrown when someone treats you a certain way and upsets you to the core, even creating an anger that you always try to suppress. And we all avoid looking because of that fear, who wants to go into something that makes us feel that way.
But there is your journey, because when you finally really look deep into it and for the first time ‘see’ what has been driving it for all these years….you will finally UNDERSTAND it…and it will no longer hold that fear anymore because you now see why it has held you fast…and you let it go, your life will change to such a degree it will feel like you have been released from jail after 50 years, it is that profound.
You will be changed forever….AND you will feel more closer and loving to yourself because you now see what has kept you in this unloving place. And in that love, you will find that thing that we all search for….happiness.
We had not allowed ourselves to touch that place within through those beliefs of ourselves….now there is no wall to block the truth of what we really are within. The duality that we all must face, to find that unconditional love within us all, can now be felt, seen and released, and we begin to stand in that truth….and just be glad and smile in that knowing 🙂
That is our path in all that we do down here on this lovely big blue planet. It is to find ourselves in the millions of ways that it is possible as we trip, stumble and sway to the rhythms of life. It all points back to how we feel about ourselves and how we express that out into the world.
We all seek that happiness, that well of love that will lift us out of all that we go through and save us from the pain and hurt that this life brings. But within it are great wisdom’s to find that self truth. How can we know and appreciate love unless we are treated poorly….how can we find our compassion and empathy unless we have lost and suffered. All we go through cannot be understood until we actually go through and feel them, the good and the bad.
This journey is filled with great pain, but also tempered with great love so that we UNDERSTAND what it is when we finally step into that love of ourselves….that unconditional love of self. And it is all given with a great love so that we CAN see that journey.
We all know when a truth touches us inside….follow that path…for it is the path home, to that happiness we all seek within.

Self Love!

It takes a big event in our lives to reach that place within where we finally stop, and sometimes after a very long time of persevering with something…a marriage, relationships with friends or family, a personal situation or even at work, and come to that place where we can see that enough is enough.

It is a very pivotal moment. It draws the fears to the surface but now instead of recoiling and trying to shove it down so it can no longer be seen as we usually do, we finally reach a place that we no longer wish to fight this any more and so we step through it. And it will push buttons that you have never tested before, a strange world where you stand up inside and take those first tentative, wobbly steps to reclaim a sense of self and a realisation that ‘I am worth so much more than this’.

And finally, in that realisation you will achieve something that a lifetime had not. The ability to give within…to give that self love from a truthful place and realise you ARE worth so much more.

So starts the journey to stand in that truth and become what this path seeks, the creation of a love that builds an understanding of love inside, but all starting from a place of fear so that we can see and appreciate what it has taken to find that place within. Both have much purpose, as one cannot be achieved without the other. Hard yes, but if it was easy it would be forgotten in a moment.

That relationship you have persevered with has given you the one thing that you have been seeking all your life…to find that self love and the true happiness that it holds.

Lets say your going through a divorce. And your ex-partner was to find another partner who makes them feel all happy, alive and excited with life…inside they will still be seeking their self love in that need to be with another…based on their fears. That happiness they seek can only be found in that self realisation. If you have found the reason that drove your fears within that relationship, you can now release them but not through anger or hurt, but from a place of understanding as you will now realise ‘why’ you were attracted to that relationship. This will allow you to forgive them (and yourself), now in your self realisation of what you have now understood…as they may not have found the beauty of what you have now become, and still looking to fill the pain and loss in their hearts.

This may take several relationships to ‘see’ that you seem to be hitting the same snags in your relationships, going through the same patterns, but this has purpose so that you ‘can’ see what is holding you back, the fear that will be underneath all your actions and keep you travelling that journey. Until finally it all comes to the surface and it cannot be hidden any longer. This is your moment, your chance to release something that has held you forever in a half truth of life, a place that had happiness but always marred by this thing that would pounce to always let you know that it was still a part of who you are.

And as that uproar settles you are now free to truly look inside and understand that the more you act in that self love, and I mean that with integrity and not a selfish way, your life will now slowly find a happiness, a true happiness where you no longer seek another based on those earlier fears of ‘not being loved or insecurity’ because you have now found that within yourself, the entire purpose of your journey.

Self love is an ability to truly look inside and realise what those fears were, and see how they have driven your life in so many ways and held you in those patterns. To face them IS self love for you will give to yourself something worth more than any other thing in this world. It is a freedom that is unbelievable when you finally step past it and feel that freedom for the first time, and in doing so you realise just how constrained you have been in all of your life. That fear constantly held ‘out of sight, out of mind’, not realising just how conformed you have become to living with it riding on your shoulders.

And as time slowly goes by you become more relaxed, more ‘seeing’ the world from a whole new perspective as you are no longer ‘on guard’ for the fear that was always there as you went about your life. This freedom begins to rebuild what you ‘want’ to be, rather than feeling ‘forced’ to be something by the world around you. A happier place where even if anything comes up in your life, your ability to cope is more at ease, relaxed and understanding….because you have been there, have much wisdom because of that journey and can now help others from now being in that place…and glad to do so.

The anger and pain that usually comes with these events are a part of being able to ‘let go’ from the loss of the security and love that we feel we are losing. And usually because it feels like a total rejection of who and what we are, and a very painful experience that hurts because we feel so unloved…and that is the key…it is a fear that is built on our own self worth. Our own inability for self love. And this is built from childhood and the relationships we have with (usually), our parents and how they were able to express the love that THEY were shown by their parents….and on and on it goes. We are always trying to find what we feel we haven’t got. And we feel we haven’t got that love, and the happiness within that, so we try to find that love in others…but it is in our self love that the answer is hidden.

We have been through a childhood where we have felt either a rejection of love, a hurt or a denial by someone we loved and looked up to. And in that is built our self worth. Are we loveable or not? That self worth takes a battering at this time and we spend the rest of our lives trying to rebuilt that feeling of love and connection with another, to rebuilt that loss we hold forever in our hearts as a consequence of this hurt, and to find that happiness again that has so much meaning within it. But when each time we are with another and they do something that gives us that feeling of rejection again, it re-ignites that fear and we jump straight back behind those emotional walls to keep that pain out.

Holding onto the pain and fear will only hold us in that pattern. We must look within it to find why it makes us feel this way…deeper in your heart to find what you are afraid of, and seek its meaning. In that you disarm it, realise the truth behind your fear…AND LET IT GO.

In total truth the above journeys do have great meaning…those relationships that seem to be a horror at the time ARE done from a place of great love, so that we DO find that self love within. Those instances where the world seems to be crumbling around us DO allow us to eventually come to that place within, and in doing so we heal that hole that always seems to be in our lives, and completes us in such a way that we ‘let go’ and no longer hold onto so many things that in the end, have no meaning or worth and opens us back up to that love and eventually give back out what we have now become.

Because I have been on this journey from a healer’s perspective and actively searched for meaning within my journey, spirit has shown me a great deal of understanding as I step through my fears and see those fears within others. We all must go through them to find that self love within, and gradually we are shown where the love really is…inside us, not ‘out there’. And in that realisation we finally see that all the stress and pain in our lives are all built upon the foundation of our fears that we have held in place since childhood. It is our path…a painful one but with an outcome that will far outshine all that went before.

Some people come to us to teach us a lesson about ourselves. And this is the only way to find our truth, to look deep inside by going through a tremendous upheaval so that we can finally see the truth of what we are within and ‘know’ the love of ourselves. If we didn’t we would always be wandering around pointing the finger at the world for the pain that we are in. If you look around you will see this, but eventually they begin to realise that they are changing, and in that change they find a new heart, a new direction and a peace that goes with that understanding. There is a silver lining to all events, it is made that way even though at times it may not feel like it, and slowly we are guided to find that truth within.

This world has many things for us all…much beauty AND much fear, so that we can become what we all truly seek. It is a balance where we will attract exactly what we need to find that beautiful heart within and finally understand the love that we are.

Where is your heart now?

Look inside, find that self love…your happiness is there…that unconditional love that is who you are…you are so worth it!

The Walls of Jericho!

Yes, those walls of Jericho were an amazing sight to the enemies of those times. Never to be breached as they were so well built to only allow friendly passage and not those who were against what those within believed and lived. Well, until the spirit of God arrived within the Ark to bring it tumbling down.

A little like those walls we build within, to stop that invader that would dare attack us, try to invade OUR space and force their ways on us. And to test whether those walls are there for the right purpose. Enable those that think like us free access, and refuse entry to those that hurt us and cause pain.

And those invaders are there to do exactly that. They are showing you your fears and walls that we all build to protect ourselves, and they have great purpose.

As you test those walls you realise why they are there, and understand that they were your only way of protecting yourself from what you felt was a very hard, unloving and hurtful experience in your life, so you put up a wall so you no longer get hurt.

And that is usually done as a child when your coping strategies were very immature because you were so young, so a wall goes up because you know no other way to protect yourself, and you then begin to avoid those situations like the plague. But when you begin to realise why you put those walls up and you start to see those coping strategies for what they are and how they are blocking your life, you begin to understand how that blockage is affecting you. And in that understanding that comes from your spirit within, after many, many years, you finally release something that feels like the weight of the world (and to you, it is), has finally been lifted and everything from that moment on changes forever. The change is so huge that you feel a little lost in the beginning because you have never been in this place before. Your life has never had such freedom and an ability to stop and smell the roses….literally.

We don’t realise that this fear has been so integrated to our lives that we are always ‘on guard’ in everything we do…from when we get up of a morning, working, playing or even scratching our nose, it has always been a part of who you were.

Now you are free, and it can almost feel like you are in shock because of that release. But it will be like no shock you have ever felt before. And when reached, you slowly make choices for you for the first time…and not from a place of fear where you are always second guessing yourself so that you don’t have to face that fear. It is a magical place that freedom, as it gives you unfettered access to that beautiful thing inside your heart….you…the true you, that has wanted to escape to a happier place forever. And now you are finally there.

As you release that fear you are no longer giving from a place of fear. We actually project those fears out from us everyday.

As an example, and this is me personally, I always gave to a lady with everything that I was….I would take them out, give them flowers, be courteous by pulling chairs out for them to sit etc. I would smother them in love….but that was the problem, after a while they would hold their hands up and say ‘whoa, that’s lovely but please just slow down a bit’. And I would be all offended, thinking I was being rejected for giving that love. I would point the finger and say ‘it is their fault, how could they possibly not want to be loved’. And because all my relationships ended like this I would always think that they had been hurt by some other man and found it hard to accept that love from some one. Any excuse in fact, bar the one that mattered.
Because I felt rejected from my parents as a child, and felt that total fear of being unloved by the very people that I looked up to and loved, I would bury my loves, with love, so that I WOULDN’T BE REJECTED.

And there lies the rub of my journey. I projected my fear onto all those that I loved. I wanted to be loved so badly, and not be rejected, that I led with my fear.
It is such a subtle thing these fears, and we do the most incredible things to not go through them, not realising that they are there for all to see…AND that they actually attract exactly what we need to go through them. How many fears have you avoided? None, zip, nada!

With great love the universe wants you to understand…you. And within that understanding come back to your truth. Not a wobbly version that is trying to avoid the pain that is carried within your heart for what seems like forever. But the real you within that is a very beautiful and loving person entirely. And as you break free and release that fear, and those negative feelings about yourself that go with it, you finally find that thing that you have always been looking for. That journey of seeking to find that ‘happiness’ somewhere and finally be at peace.

And it can be found…where it has always been, but hidden behind a wall of fear. That fear has great purpose, for it has led you to find this place…and finally understand, and appreciate the beauty that is within each and every one of us BECAUSE of what we have been through.

You are a beautiful soul…something that shines out forever. Believe in that, for at each turn in life a little more is set free and you begin to shine a little brighter each time to stand in your truth and release what you know is no longer you…and be that love that is always there.

Your walls of Jericho will crumble at a shout from you, and a determination within to seek the fear that holds those walls up. They will crumble in an instant when you find that truth that is you…and release you from their bondage forever, to finally be set free.

Where is your love!

Giving love to another will touch that person within, and change them.
Who will then touch another, and change them also.
And as this change goes on and on, eventually this change will come full circle and be expressed as love back to you…but changed in its journey by the love expressed differently by each individual.
Each individual helping another in their journey, loving in their own unique way.
Graduating in its wisdom by the many emotional ways of pain, anger, fear, gratitude, faith and love that is experienced in all walks of life.
To eventually reach that beauty of unconditional love, that place within when all is finally completed.
No more karma, experiences or lessons needed….perfection within itself.

For each and every heartfelt motion given from within, is for you, even though it is given to another. And in its perfection, when giving love to another, it raises you even closer to that love within, opens your heart from the fears and blockages of life, and with a glow unmatched by anything else in this world, brings out much that is hidden….your truth within. Those things that you only ever say to one that you love and respect, to let them feel that truth within that is the true you, so that they may feel the beauty that is inside, and know that it is with great love that you are sharing something so deep within.

It is a connection that we all yearn for, a connection that only occurs a few times in our lives but drives us ever onward to find that thing within that always seems to elude us. But it is only when we can remove those walls of life around our hearts that we can finally see the truth that has been within us all the time. It is a needed journey, so that we can appreciate what is really there, a journey to understand what that love really means, and bring us to that final acceptance of self.

When understood, this is the perfection of love, all else is but a guide.

Where is your love for self?


This came to me after reading a quote from the lovely lady from Soul Gatherings. Thank you Theresa!

The Safety of Awareness

Such a beautiful world. So balanced in all its ways. Yes, even the mistakes have purpose, for now we swear upon our hearts that we will never do it again, like so many other things in our lives. But we do….why?

It seems we have this insatiable need to have control of our lives, be in a place where we can handle most of what is thrown at us. And that ‘security’ is the basis of how we can face the world, even though we still find that many things throw us off balance. And we react to those things because they are the core issues of what we are afraid of, even if we don’t see them clearly all the time.

We spend so much time hiding in fear from the bully up the street, building and building this 30 foot monster until the very thought of going out the front door is abhorrent. But the bully is still the kid up the street that only knows that control of his life by what he thinks is ‘his’ safety. And probably totally forgotten about you unless you happen to be his current weaker opponent to make him feel better about himself.

And as our lives go on we build these safety places, places where we feel in control….falling in love, marriage, a home and even some ‘munchkins’ to build that inner peace (ok, the kids may be pushing that a bit 🙂 ).

But in amongst this we get tested. A button pushed here and there, just so we can feel the other side, see where we are not feeling that safety we are trying to build. In general we go through it and feel relieved that we have passed through this and can move on.

But sometimes we really get something prodded so that we are losing that safety zone. Something won’t let go and reaches a point where we have no choice but to face it and go through, what we feel, is one of the most stressful times of our lives. A life issue…divorce, break ups, a death and even a job loss can take us down this path…because they all point to that one thing inside us all that we all avoid as much as possible…that negativity, our sense of worth in whatever form it takes, about ourselves that has been hammered home all our lives by, originally, those we love, but kept alive by those we attract to us.

Attract I say…yes…how many people have you pointed at and said, “she/he is doing it again”, “they never learn”, “I can’t believe this”, about someone else who is going through, for the tenth time, something that you can see is not right and know the outcome because you have been there. But that is the whole point, it is now no longer your fear, it doesn’t have that fearful hold on you any longer because you have gone through it (or never did because you had no fear of it).

But again, that is the entire point. Each and every time you understand that ‘knowing’ inside because you have felt that pain, that terror of going through something that has tested you beyond what you think you could handle, has raised your awareness, given you the wisdom to see and understand that what was underneath was something that you alone had built to protect yourself, but in truth blocked you from seeing the truth inside. The understanding after you go through this is huge.

And it has been given to you in this way for one reason only…to show you the beauty that is you. Underneath all the uproar and that feeling of, “I can’t do this”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m going to lose it”, you show the strength that is really inside and you DO go through it, and finally see the truth of what you are inside…and you begin to stand in that awareness. You reach a point of, “I’m not doing this any more”, “I’m worth more than this”, “I deserve more than this”, and you slowly begin to break free.

Yes, it does take time, but that time is needed so that this very situation retests you, and each time you reinforce those words of worth and deserving a little more. Always more tears and even anger. But this anger is because your heart is asking you step past what you thought WAS your safety zone. That place that kept you in control of where you were at. But it was removed and the change was a serious asking of yourself to step out of that safety and move into a scary and strange world, one where you have never been before. And you will even find that you hold on desperately to this situation as it crumbles around you, out of the fear of losing that safety. Especially if it is a love for another.

Those people we give our hearts to are the one safety anchor in our lives that we think we can rely on forever. But it is also the one place that tears our hearts out. And it must or we will never step through those fears in our lives. We will use our love as a shield, to not see something within ourselves we don’t wish to, or even distract us so that we think everything is ok. But it is the power of that love that will take us on that journey within. It eventually makes us see that place we have avoided and suddenly our safe place is gone.

It is a tough journey, but it must be or we would never face what is buried inside. And after all is said and done, we do begin to love ourselves because of it. We are more deserving, we are worth so much more, and this event will bring this realisation and bring us closer to that heart within. Even the anger of being hurt and what we feel by being treated so poorly by those we loved will slowly subside as we realise that we are in a better place, much wiser, much more loving, because we have loved ourselves more and no longer need our love as a shield to protect us.

Our love for self is enough, we no longer need to rely on another’s love to be safe. And that understanding then allows us to give from that place of self love…and attract the same. We no longer ‘need’ to be in a relationship. We begin to understand that by loving ourselves we naturally give that love out. If we are angry, fearful or unhappy…that is what we give out and attract to us. When we love ourselves truly, go past our fears, we then give from an unconditional place, and attract that unconditional love….and no longer attract a situation where it asks us to go through something within.

And as that awareness grows, the more shadows in your life you go through and the more light you let in, the more that unconditional love shines out!

May your heart find that awareness.

Mark

The View From Within Here!

And then one day I saw it…and realised all our journeys have great purpose. I turned a corner and died to the things of man, but realised that those things are made of great beauty. The pain, the emotional turmoil that we endure, all take us to that one place we constantly search for in our hearts….unconditional love.

But it can only be found by being born into this world with all that it is, and finally see ourselves, our fear’s, our journey and the love that we understand as each mountain top is reached. We will always attract what is required for that understanding, and then one day we are there…and everything can be seen for the truth that it is…and our hearts open, totally, fully, and we then give from such a beautiful place.

I no longer see what is on the surface of things, because I now see below. I no longer judge another, as I now see purpose. And because of that understanding, I now stand in my truth and give from that place within…unconditionally…for I am no longer chained by the fears of this world!


We begin this journey totally open, innocent and ready for such an imprint from our surroundings. This time is a barrage of emotions and learning, the good and the bad, to create a journey that will test us so that we may find that balance that is in all things.

We see a life of struggle and pain over many years, and even those things that many think small, like a silly argument, build and create so that you may reach great understanding. Slowly and over a great time we poke and prod to see a way out of those things that keep us bound. And finally after much heartache and agony, a crack appears. But it’s like no other crack…each time you look through it all you can see is the fear you avoid, that one thing that you ignore, hide and never speak it out loud, lest it come to life. But the pain from your journey allows no other path, and in trepidation you finally can no longer stay in your circumstances any longer and take that dreaded step that you think will be the end of your sanity.

And at that moment your practically in shock. You’ve done the one thing that you thought you would never do. You burst into tears, scream and even fall into a heap. Your mind is going at a hundred miles an hour. But you’ve done it! You’ve gone through the one thing that you thought would never happen. And you realise…you didn’t die, you haven’t totally lost it (even though it feels very crazy still), and you suddenly understand…you’ve never been in this position before. You have always had that ‘fear’ leading you around in everything that you do. This is virgin territory, never before circumstances where now YOU are in control and not the fear.

And it does take time to get used to. That fear has been there most of your life, it was a part of who you were. Now you are free…released from its servitude and are able to take the reigns and steer whatever path you wish. That in itself can be a little disconcerting to start with, but don’t put expectations on yourself. Give yourself time to adjust to this new place within. And above all be gentle on yourself. That is a very long time to be in a jail from a fear you’ve held within.

Looking back we see those things we’ve been through, but they no longer hold us at bay. No longer constantly in our minds because we’ve stepped through the fear that they created and released us from it’s bondage. Wiser and with more love for ourselves because we now understand that we are worth so much more than those fears and have become more confident in ourselves because of that. This is our healing of that duality that separates us from within at birth, the spirit and the ego, and the journey to find that balance of the two. And we gradually understand ourselves each time we go through those upheavals in our lives, we’ve been through many years of the one side of that balance, it is now time to feel and understand the other and no longer be driven by the fears of the ego. And when we see others go through what we have now experienced, our compassion will arise because we know and understand their journey. We understand that pain and suffering and with great love will help another to find their heart within and see what you now see.

Each time we respect and love ourselves more and more as we go through these things. We realise those many things that initially gave us a feeling of not being good enough or belittled were not true. We ARE good enough, and more than that, we are loving ourselves because we now realise it has taken great courage and love to face this journey and accept just who we are within. Exactly for who we are, warts and all. What is on the outside, in truth, has no meaning at all. For what has been created in the heart…is everything. And everyone is going through their journey, in their own way, to realise that truth within, just as you did. Judgement of another is only built on our own fears. Once released they no longer drive us.

That freedom is the compassion we now use, and is the beginning of that unconditional love we all seek. It is in us all but blocked by our constant struggle by those fears that drive us. When released it allows that compassion to shine through, and as each of those fears are removed there is less and less holding you to this world…and more and more love being expressed by that freedom. And the spirit within starts to shine through, and you truly begin to see much purpose in this journey.

Then you too will understand, and be what you truly are within, that unconditional love that is inside us all!

Life!


I sing a song, a song of life,
a rhythm from deep within
Ancient for its energy,
a tale of where we’ve been
Even to this very day,
our journey has never changed
We seek to find our purpose,
to find what was arranged
And as the road of life,
that bouncing bumpy path
Looks to find our inner heart,
amongst the aftermath
But the wisdom of our truth,
those pearls of yesteryear
Are bound to our destiny,
all of which we share
So hold your strength,
and face this world of stress
For even amongst its scary ways,
is a magic we are blessed
And when we feel the time has come,
to bid this land goodbye
We transform into another,
to begin again on high.

Namaste

The Power of a Hug!

Think about this for a moment. All those times when we were small and we had fallen over and busted our knee, cut ourselves doing something or bruising our ego’s in life’s tumbles, our mom was always there with a hug and cuddle and some amazing words…and all that pain would go away….vanish in a puff of…well, yeah, magic.

We were shown this magic in so many different ways as we grew up, even to the point that we do it for our own children, but alas, as they got older, and especially the male of the species, it became less and less. You know, I’m tough, I don’t need that sissy stuff…meanwhile quailing inside from the pain that life brings.

In a new relationship you see the young’uns wrapped around each other so much you don’t know where one starts and the other ends. They FEEL everything at that stage from the flutter of an eyelid to the meaning in a glance. They are so tuned into each other with their energy blending with the power of love. Remember that glow…that feeling that you can climb mountains and heal the world. Well, you can. Just by the simple affect of a hug.

No, not just throw your arms around someone for 1.3 seconds, pat them on the back and say ‘off you go!’. This isn’t a marathon to see how many you can give. This is an act in itself, an expression of who YOU are within. By opening your arms you are saying to someone…I’m trusting you, opening my heart to you, and I am giving myself unconditionally to you. Your body language with the expression you give with it….ie. a smile or loving glance speaks volumes. If it is done with a snarl, trust me, it would be the equivalent to being hugged by a tarantula. Actually, I think I’d rather the tarantula. (My apologies to the spider lovers, after all, they are also God’s creatures too 🙂 ).

So the next time you are with someone and you feel a hug is in order, GIVE them a hug, step outside your boundaries and say to them in your hug….I care, I’m prepared to be open with you, and I’m giving my love to you, unconditionally. And sometimes that is just exactly what they need to help them go through something…a grazed knee, a hard day or even just because. The healing in that one small act is immeasurable, but we avoid it thinking we are overstepping a boundary (usually our own), and it is usually exactly what is needed. If in a circumstance you thought about it, do it.

Sometimes others may react to it by shoving you away and that is usually because of how they have been brought up or even bad experiences in their lives. The best way to signal your intentions is to just open your arms toward them with a smile. They will respond accordingly. But don’t judge their acceptance or rebuttal by reacting in any way. Just be the love that you are within. You have given from that love and the best of who you are. THAT is the important part, that you are giving freely, without any expectations, from who you are within. They will see and feel that, and that is THEIR important part. To see and feel that there IS love in the world, even though they may not be able to reach out for it at that time.

The hug is the jewel of who we are within. It shines out, interacts and heals more than any other act. Your intentions, integrity and care are all wrapped up in those few moments when you embrace. Whether its a baby, a child or a lover it has great meaning. Stand in that truth, break through your walls and be in a space that says it all. And especially with someone you love very much and you feel you have been bogged down by your work or troubles, just stop for a moment, and instead of the usual 1.3 second hug as you walk through the door, put everything down so that you are free, open your arms and be fully present and giving to that beautiful person in front of you and hold it for however long it takes to say ‘I love you, and nothing else matters’.

And everything will change, right at that moment because it has meaning, and care, and love, and all those things that really do matter in this life that we live.

Even Dr’s and scientists are now discovering the beauty and healing in a hug. The following article shows just how powerful it is.


Fun Facts About Hugging (Article link)

By Dr. Mercola

Neuroeconomist Paul Zak, also known as “Dr. Love,” recommends at least eight hugs a day to be happier and enjoy better relationships. Psychotherapist Virginia Satir also famously said:

“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

This may very well be the “hug threshold” that allows your body to produce ample amounts of oxytocin, which is released in response to physical touch. The neuropeptide oxytocin, released by your pituitary gland, is a naturally occurring hormone in your body with incredibly powerful, health-giving properties.

It is also a key reason why the simple act of hugging is such an incredible way to not only bond with others but also boost your physical, and emotional, health.

How Hugging Makes You Healthier.

Hugging increases levels of the “love hormone” oxytocin. This, in turn, may have beneficial effects on your heart health and more. One study found, for instance, that women had lower blood pressure following a brief episode of warm contact with their partner.

A 20-second hug, along with 10 minutes of hand-holding, also reduces the harmful physical effects of stress, including its impact on your blood pressure and heart rate. This makes sense, since hugging is known to lower levels of stress hormones like cortisol. But research suggests there’s even more to it than that. As reported by Mail Online:

“The skin contains a network of tiny, egg-shaped pressure centers called Pacinian corpuscles that can sense touch and which are in contact with the brain through the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve winds its way through the body and is connected to a number of organs, including the heart.

It is also connected to oxytocin receptors. One theory is that stimulation of the vagus triggers an increase in oxytocin, which in turn leads to the cascade of health benefits.”

A 10-second hug a day can lead to biochemical and physiological reactions in your body that can significantly improve your health. According to one study, this includes:

Lower risk of heart disease
Stress reduction
Fight fatigue
Boost your immune system
Fight infections
Ease depression

Does Cuddle Therapy Work?

There’s no doubt that hugging, caressing, and cuddling feel good. As neurologist Shekar Raman, MD, said in the Huffington Post:

“A hug, pat on the back, and even a friendly handshake are processed by the reward center in the central nervous system, which is why they can have a powerful impact on the human psyche, making us feel happiness and joy… And it doesn’t matter if you’re the toucher or touchee. The more you connect with others — on even the smallest physical level — the happier you’ll be.”

Yet, many people are touch-deprived. One study found that one-third of people receive no hugs on a daily basis while 75 percent said they wanted more hugs. Findings such as these, coupled with the emotional and health benefits of human touch, have led to the emergence of cuddle therapy centers, where people can pay for a lunchtime cuddle.

However, the verdict is still out on whether or not cuddles from strangers have the same impact as those from someone you know and trust. While cuddling with a spouse or partner has been shown to boost satisfaction in relationships, at least one study showed that hugs are only beneficial if trust is involved.

The lead researcher actually cautioned against worldwide “free hugs” campaigns (where strangers offer hugs to others), saying that this may be perceived as threatening and actually increase emotional burden and stress. However, proven benefits have been found from cuddling with a pet, which shows hugs don’t have to only be between humans to be beneficial. Even cuddling with your trusted pet may offer significant benefits to your heart and overall health.

More Fun Facts About Hugging.

Did you know that, on average, people spend on hour a month hugging? That doesn’t sound like much, but when you consider that the average hug is under 10 seconds long… that’s a lot of hugs!

Happiness Weekly compiled even more fun facts about hugging that highlight just how incredible this act of touch really is. For instance, a full-body hug stimulates your nervous system while decreasing feelings of loneliness, combating fear, increasing self-esteem, defusing tension, and showing appreciation.

And if you had any doubt about the importance of touch, consider that children who aren’t hugged have delays in walking, talking, and reading. A quick hug has a near-immediate impact on health, lowering your heart rate and inducing a calming effect while also leading to a more upbeat mood!

Interestingly, hugging has just as much a benefit for the person doing the hugging as the person being hugged, revealing the reciprocal nature of touch. Touch is even described as a universal language that can communicate distinct emotions with startling accuracy. One study found that touch alone can reveal emotions including anger, fear, disgust, love, gratitude, and sympathy, with accuracy rates of up to 83 percent.

Even More Reasons to Give (or Get) a Hug Today.

Hugs are one of the most succinct ways to encourage your body to release oxytocin, and the more oxytocin your pituitary gland releases, the better able you are to handle life’s stressors.

Oxytocin decreases the level of stress hormones (primarily cortisol) your body manufactures and lowers your blood pressure response to anxiety-producing events. Oxytocin quite likely plays a role in why pet owners heal more quickly from illness, why couples live longer than singles, and why support groups work for people with addictions and chronic diseases.

Oxytocin has also been found to reduce the cravings of drug and alcohol addiction, as well as for sweets. It even has a positive influence on inflammation and wound healing. Even beyond this, regular hugs have the added benefit of:

Cultivating patience and showing appreciation
Activating the Solar Plexus Chakra, which stimulates your thymus gland (this may help balance your production of white blood cells)
Stimulating dopamine, the pleasure hormone, and serotonin, for elevated mood
Balancing out your nervous system for better parasympathetic balance

Do You Need a Good Hug?

Often making a concerted effort to hug the people close to you is one of the best ways to get more hugs in return. This can include your spouse, children, and other family members along with close friends. But even if you’re not currently in a life situation conducive to getting daily hugs and producing enough of your own oxytocin on a regular basis, the good news is there are some alternatives you can use to help you deal in a healthy way with your emotional response to stress and anxiety.

With the already known and still-to-emerge health and quality of life benefits to be derived from the natural release of oxytocin in your body, your best course of action is to make sure you’re cultivating warm, loving, intimate relationships, no matter what stage of life you’re in. Additionally, if you have a pet, just a few minutes petting your dog or cat can promote the release of your body’s “happiness” hormones, including oxytocin. Since touch anywhere on your body, as well as positive interactions and psychological support, are known to increase oxytocin levels, you might also consider:

Holding hands and kissing
Giving and receiving a backrub
Nurturing others
Getting a massage
Practicing mind-body therapies like breathing exercises and yoga


Well, all I can see is the positives about it, so what are you waiting for….hugs!…and lots of them!
And be happier, healthier and enjoy the connection. Namaste

Spirits day off!

The Bardess of Glascow has teased me again to adventure into my artistic side and play with my mind and produce some poetry using a set number of words. I thank you momus for bringing me back into the illusionary world ocassionally, and hopefully enliven it a little. I know spirit hasn’t really got the day off but just for once, I’m wagging school 😀

The Hydrogen Process of Life (Well I had to use the word somehow, a title will do)

The key to open that stone, built to cover a weeping heart
Spare fears for casual traffic, revolving for its part
Around the block, giving a souvenir to one and all
Chapped with pain and tears, that journey before a fall
And when that fever breaks, from that wall built within
A beggar no longer, only memories where you’ve been

Anyone keen to try their mind, go to a wordle as outlined here. http://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2014/12/08/wordle-38-december-8-2014/
Use at least ten of the twelve words selected to create a poem or story.

stone

casual

spare

traffic

block

beggar

chapped

fever

key

hydrogen

revolving

souvenir

‘Knowing’ !

After receiving a YouTube Your Emotion Matters from Eve, I realised why spirit had been niggling me to post a topic that may rock a few boats. I realise all paths are right regardless of the journey. Their purpose is to help that individual understand and gain the wisdom to realise that unconditional love that is the reason for our journey. So the following is in reply to that video and it will be more understandable after viewing it. It’s only a 10 min chat. if you wish to do that now, just click on the link above. Then continue under here. Thanks! 🙂


I don’t know what the final destination of what he says will do, but as it currently stands it will still take an individual to understand within themselves to find that true connection that brings that enlightenment and awareness of the unconditional love that is our destination. Maybe one day they will find it, and measure it, but it will still never achieve the connection that must be done from within.

Our journey is so perfectly balanced that all that we do comes together to achieve that end. We can have the process ‘discovered’ and taught to us, and that can have advantages, but it must always be experienced to understand it and achieve what is needed to realise that end.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is…to help our journey science may assist in that process…but what purpose does it to reinvent the wheel…AND…it would never gain the perfection that is already in place to attain that unconditional love. He is totally correct in the power we have within, that ability to understand and have control of our course in life by the power of those emotions and attitudes with integrity, and their use in our lives, but the final outcome is when we have felt and understood the lowest to the highest in our lives so that we can achieve that one thing that it always teaches…and that is the ability to discern those differences and realise the truth of the love within our journey. All elements of our lives have an emotional content, something that we hold within us as we go through the many things in our lives. These are finally tempered with the wisdom that we attain by going through these multitudes of life experiences.

Until eventually we begin to realise that underlying power within us, and slowly integrate that beauty we begin to discover as we go through our lives. We learn that we put out into this world comes back to perfect our journey so we begin to ‘see’ the love that is involved in everything that we do. We learn from our hearts the beauty of a hug or being pushed away, an act of kindness or deceit. This universe and all that is in it, has been so perfectly balanced so that we learn all the emotions that bring us to the destination of our hearts. And in everything that we do on this planet, the one and only thing that we achieve, and take with us when we let go of this world, is the love and the wisdom we have achieved in our journey.

Now I’m going to really throw a spanner in the works here. Spirit spoke to me and said, ‘we know EVERYTHING, but do not ‘know’ it’. I was stunned. All the spiritual books (that I’ve read anyway), all say that the spirit (or whatever name you wish to put in here), knows everything there is to know. But this is where spirit explained to me, and I’ve quoted before…

“I can tell you to not stick your hand into the fire but it is not until you actually do get burnt that you really truly understand and ‘know’ what is meant by it, and gain that wisdom. We as spirit, and all connected, know everything, but do not ‘KNOW’ it. That is why we are here, to experience and know all of those infinite number of things that lead to the many emotional experiences….that ALL lead to that final understanding of unconditional love. Of what purpose would it be to come here if we DID ‘KNOW’ EVERYTHING. We would all be acting in a play, on a grand scale, but have no purpose. It would achieve nothing”.

It felt so simple, but all things of the spirit are. And felt so heartfelt and, dare I say it…logical, to not be a truth. It didn’t feel wrong but because of all that I had learnt up to this point, it shocked me. But eventually I gradually realised that was why I could feel within everyone a heartfelt yearning to be that love. It drives everything that we do. Ask anyone the question, ‘what do you want out of life?’, and nearly all will say to just be happy, which nearly always entails to love and be loved in return.

Now spirit did not say this next bit, but I felt from the previous conversation that all of our journeys must be for an ongoing creation. An continuation of the infinite probabilities that could occur just on our planet with the billions that have, are and will be a part of humanity, contributing to that infinite source that is God. Like everything about our lives, it is always in motion, a constant change that also reflects exactly how the universe is constantly evolving. Never to be the same one moment to the next.

Anyway, that’s my understanding, and as I said in the beginning, there are many paths and these I see in the many, and they all lead home, not that we aren’t already a part of that by the connection that is within us all. I hope what I say has meaning, and at the least, an understanding of that journey that is our lives on this beautiful, big blue planet. Namaste

Change!

It’s time. This battle has been very big. The tide has turned, and I must go with it, face it, as the battle against the flow becomes too tiring. It is a journey we all must make. As each cycle in our lives takes us through so many things to create a more wiser, loving and stronger person within.

But in that cycle we become entrenched in our safety, our knowingness, even our routines that in themselves give comfort. But as each cycle is concluded we don’t want to release all that we hold, for it has been a big journey and we have gained much from it. And that is the point. We have learned much, and understood it. And we won’t go willingly because of that. But the universe needs us on another course, another journey to take our wisdom to, and guide us in our quest for that unconditional love within.

Things start to ‘fall apart’, our lives begin to wobble. The unmistakeable feeling of the build up of stress due to these changes are taking their toll and we begin to react in a way that only weeks before was unheard of. Responses from people around us goes into new territory, even close people, and our confusion becomes staggered as we deal with the many things on the radar.

Things that we felt WERE our security have changed. Lost jobs, lost finance, even lost relationships are all around. When everything seemed to be fine. The change, in hindsight, will be seen many months or even years ago. It is a gradual thing, though at the time felt like an avalanche. The universe is being gentle, but we hold on so tightly that what follows feels like a skydive. Everything rushing up to meet you.

Well, my friends, I am releasing the reins of this change and going with the flow. I had thought I was being pro-change by moving house and stepping into what I thought was my new direction. Little did I know. I have been tested from the core of my being. My belief in self, and giving from that core belief in what I thought was who I was within, has taken a hit. I gave from such a place of total acceptance, of that belief, only to have it thrown back in my face.

It stung, and very badly. It brought up much from the past and it was time to look within and understand why my reaction to this was so intense. After much soul searching it raised it’s head, and the mask that I had in place over it. We always wear masks when dealing with other people. Be tough around stronger people, gentle with not so strong. Even a different mask for those close to us. The real us only seems to be with those we are closest to. But in this case, and something we all do, I had hidden my truth from me.

I was giving from such a place that I thought was a genuine understanding of unconditional love…no expectations! Was I wrong. When a previous relationship had ended, it felt really bad, and I put this down to the obvious feelings of rejection, loss of that love etc, etc. And I did feel those things, even though they were quite tempered by what spirit had explained to me about that particular relationship. But when this new event occurred, it really stung AND brought back up all those previous feelings from before. I needed to go inside big time and search for an understanding of why I was feeling this way.

And it was a sneaky little thing. I kept re-adjusting the mask. Gave myself excuses for doing this or that. But I forced myself to come back to that original feeling of being so upset by their actions. And then it hit me. I WAS having expectations from all that I do. And I don’t mean I wanted bits and pieces…I WANTED to be accepted for what I was doing….my FEAR was in NOT being accepted…which all came back to my childhood years of feeling rejected by my dad. My thinking that if I did this or that…he would accept me for who I was. And here I was nearly 50 years later still in that time warp. The fact that my whole existence is given from a place of truth has suddenly been thrown out the door. I had been living a lie. Making out something that I was not.

It has rocked me totally. It may not have been intentional, but I believed in what ‘I’ was doing, and to realise it was done from this place of fear leaves a very sour taste. For me to understand that ‘I’ was lying to me, through my fear, really gives a feeling I’ve let myself down, let alone the others I treat. I know it has purpose, and like all else that we do, we put ourselves in these positions so that a healing can take place. And create a more truthful, loving and giving individual within.

Truth can be quite painful within, but I do know it brings a more open and understanding soul who can now be more empathic to others because of it. Time will tell if I have healed with no more masks on my path. Facing a truth of that magnitude has shaken what I thought I was within, lowered my confidence and taken some of the wind out of my sails. It makes you question yourself and try to understand what it means. In that journey I hope the unconditional love that I know is there in my heart, is no longer shaded by a fear.

I have been a little quiet, and I think I have a little more time to adjust to what I have learnt. For the wisdom that has slowly been reached also has purpose for my new direction. But for now I feel very drained and tired from going through this event. A part of this journey is to allow ourselves to heal, give ourselves time to adjust to a new understanding and become that new truth that we have discovered. It is only in denying this that reinforces the fear that kept it in place originally.

May your changes bring you closer to that unconditional love.

Namaste

Finding the Beauty Within!

My previous post that I reblogged from :

Endless Light and Love!

And click on this link for that post below:

Indigo Children, They are So Switched On to Life

was such an amazing thing to watch and feel, especially where it came from. (See this video first so that you may understand the rest of this post).

It was spoken straight from his heart with not a trace of this world to begin his doubt, fears and the journey back to that unconditional love. We can sense it from him, but this world, and the fears we have created within ourselves, block it in us for fear of being open to it, and being hurt. Just as his mum was eventually brought to tears because of what she felt in the truth that he spoke.

Our minds and ego’s have had years of blocking things to protect ourselves from those painful things in our lives, but the truth is, it is when we do face those fears, we are free. It is by doing that, that we are loving ourselves, and that duality we have had for so, so long, is finally let go, and we begin to truly love and accept ourselves by seeing ourselves for who we truly are, instead of convincing ourselves we are this or that because of those fears.

That truth when we finally see within ourselves, without the walls of fear, anger or pain, is so enlightening. You finally see the beauty all around for you are no longer on guard, no longer afraid of what may come next. You begin to feel all around you in truth, as it comes, instead of what you think may be there through fear, and prepare for the worst which does not allow you to feel everything as it is, because you are so concerned with the next ‘what if?’.

You begin to see and feel in such a way that you begin to smile at all those little things that you just didn’t have time for before, and now can be seen for what they really are, part of the beauty of life. You are no longer set in your ways to be ready for anything, you just appreciate what happens as it does for you are now beginning to realise that this journey, is a journey, and not a work routine.

You begin to live by ‘looking out the window’ of your holiday transport and relax and enjoy the views and the experiences of what is a beautiful, natural landscape that can be truly experienced for the wonder that they are.

I will make one other small comment here. For those that know, it has already been seen, but for others on their journey it is in the recognition of the power, and I’m not talking about worldly power where you have control in some way over another, it is the power that is given ‘unconditionally’ from within the child. When you recognise, without fear, where it has come from, then you have begun to answer your truth within and realise the potential of giving from your heart and understanding the journey of unconditional love. The power that the child has is simply the fact that he does not yet condemn himself for anything, view himself wrong in any way or have judgement of another. All is given from a place within that only knows that unconditional love.

You too can be that child within. May your journey and awareness, from your courage to look within and release those walls that you have built, blossom from the love that you give yourself to remove those fears. For in that knowledge and acceptance you then find that you are very perfect exactly as you are, and the understanding of unconditional love begins.

Namaste

Reach Out!

 

Reach out, reach out, I will always be your friend,
always in my heart, a strength I will send,
don’t let those fears, be your lonely guide,
don’t let your heart, be burnt away inside,
don’t ever think, the things that you feel,
are not so important, they are not so very real,
when it comes too much, and everything a task,
you hide it deep inside, always wearing a mask,
the days become a struggle, it’s hard to keep at bay,
to take another breath, one more time in the fray,
but here my beautiful friend, let me give a plea to you,
I love you even more, if you ask to help you through,
I see your every turn, that black dog is lurking deep,
testing every part of you, the climbs are very steep,
I see your silent agony, please just call out my name,
you mean so very much to me, to watch you in such pain,
I know it’s so lonely, not wanting us to know,
but please believe me, it is my love I want to show,
I know it isn’t easy, as many a test will be,
but as your friend in battle, I’m here till your free,
reach out, reach out, I’ll always help you through,
with all the love within, I always give this to you.

 

Many of our family and friends, or even strangers that we know suffer in silence with depression and such emotional turmoil in their lives that we are unaware just how deep this is. I wrote this for those people to show that they can ‘reach out’ and let us know how they feel, how it is effecting their lives, and know that we will care very much for they are a part of who we are. They mean so much to us, and any suffering for them should never be silent, because their silence is our silence. Ask, someone who understands will be listening!

And for anyone who does not have anyone to talk to, please go to these sites below, they are for anyone who feel they have depression or for friends and family who do not understand it or how to be able to help anyone deal with it. Please…reach out! Namaste

www.blackdoginstitute.org.au

www.beyondblue.org.au

Truth from an unexpected place!

I did it again. Pre-empting a night of ho-hum with my 83 year old mum out celebrating an early Christmas dinner with all her tennis chums, I assumed a night of conversation that would consist of the latest thrashing such and such gave to someone else, and how they got them in the final set would be the highlight of the night. Little did I know that the foreign gentleman across the table from me was going to fire a rocket across my bow and make me sit up and really take note of a truth from an unexpected quarter.

A general polite conversation had begun about the use of statin’s as a cholesterol lowering drug and the uproar that had hit Australian television a couple of weeks ago after a very respectable scientific show called Catalyst (Part 1: Heart of the matter, Dietary Villian’s, Part 2: Heart of the matter, Cholesterol Drug War), (these episodes have since been removed…I wonder why!), had done some serious research to show that the cholesterol came after heart disease, not before it. And the research that had determined that cholesterol was the culprit, was seriously flawed. As you could imagine that caused a sensation that is still reverberating around the country now. (By the way, I am not suggesting throwing your statin’s out the door, speak with your Doctor first, then do what I did and flushed the con job that they are down the toilet).

Anyway, this, believe it or not, wasn’t what threw me. The gentleman with the smile and twinkle in his eye quietly let the hubbub die down and he proceeded to tell us of his heart condition that he was going through at that moment. They had inserted a stent to try to repair the vein to the heart and reduce the strain on the heart wall muscle that, he had been told, the statin’s appear to have weakened. That went well, but his heart condition still left him quite weak. They also said that in his weakened condition they would not be able to operate again because he would not survive it. And he was still smiling.

A lady next to me said it must have been a terrible ordeal, to which he thought about for a moment and then said ‘Yes, it was. But while I was hovering above the surgeon watching him operate on me, it really didn’t matter, I couldn’t feel anything’. You could have dropped a pin, in the middle of a restaurant seating 150 people, and heard it roll over the floor. We all sat there stunned, myself included, by this admission from someone from the old school who usually kept those things to themselves. He went on to say it was peaceful and he could see exactly what they were wearing, what they were saying to each other and what everything looked like in the room. Even how they were doing the operation on him.

To say the least, he had all our attention. And finally spirit gave me a nudge (I was still sitting there in a daze), and gently got me to ask him, ‘after being a part of that, how do you feel towards life now?’. To which he replied, ‘everything has changed, things that were important, no longer are. Other things that didn’t seem to matter, now do. Life has changed’. (And where have I heard that before!). And as we all sat there nodding our heads and seeing the truth in his words, we all realised our lives were very artificial. Very keep up with the Jones’s. And full of stress for all the wrong reasons.

As I write this I even think that where I am coming from can still use a lot more changes. Changes in what I feel is important to me, and those things that I really don’t need. My attitude to a lot of things can still do with a lot of tweaking for the simple reason I still allow many things to come into them that in reality have no meaning. Yes, I need to learn those things but more to the point is in having the attitude of giving from a place that has meaning and truth. And I realise that I still have things that need to be expressed and let go to heal so that I can actually live the truth that I am, not the version that is giving, but with a layer of fear wrapped around my heart for protection so that my attitude is restricted by this layer getting in the way of everything.

So at the end of the evening, we could see that this gentleman was becoming quite tired, and even I was beginning to feel he was actually in quite a bit of pain, so with a little nod of his head to his wife they bid their good nights to one and all and made their way home.

I went out with the expectation of a dull evening, and spirit being spirit decided to show me what life was really all about. In the most unexpected place, from the most ordinary circumstances, life is alive and well. And from a place that seemed lifeless and coming to an end. He had a smile and a twinkle in his eye, and I know why. I now even feel that within myself because he was able to express his truth to us all. Life is what we make it. So what do you really want out of life? What really is important? This life is really but a brief sojourn, and in reality it is to those we love, ourselves included, that we should give from a place of truth and feel from our heart within. Too soon time has come and gone before we realise that maybe we should have done this or that. Now is the only time…forgive (for you may not be able to later), let go (for pain is the only thing you hold), hug (for it cares from within), say ‘I love you’ (for most of all, it means everything). Namaste

Fathers Day (Australia)!

What a day for Fathers everywhere, yesterday was a great day! But what does it really mean to all those children out there. Many have fantastic fathers who in their own way have lived their life in such a way that they are looked up to and cherished for all that they do. But some children, even on into adulthood, only remember the pain and anguish of being a part of a very disjointed family with the father figure being someone that was only remembered with loathing and hatred.

This I did, and only remembering the bits that I loathed my father for. Locking them in place so I always had something to rely on so I could always bring it out when I needed it in my life. Then one day a lovely friend of mine, while I was in the throes of a rant and rave about my father, casually mentions to me that, ‘are you happy with who you are?’, to which I replied ‘yes!’, she then went on to say, ‘if your father wasn’t the person that he was…you wouldn’t be the person that you now are…so which bit do you want to change?’.

I was stunned! I blustered and bumbled and then got angry. How dare she say…well, what was she saying…that I should ‘accept’ who my father was…no bloody way…I’ve invested a life time of hating that man…there was no way I was going to forgive that, not this side of hell freezing over.

For days after it I was angry, I couldn’t believe the turmoil it had created. And after I had cooled off after a while I began to realise something. She was right, and that got me angrier! I didn’t want to deal with it but the reality kept knocking on my door. She was totally right. I am who I am, because he was who he was. And he was only who he was because of how HE was brought up and only knew how to bring me up the same way. My dad was a part of HIS environment just as I was.

So I had (notice I say ‘had’, later on you realise that until you say ‘want’, only then does it truly happen), to forgive him…AND forgive myself for judging him for all those years. And I then realised something else. I was only hurting myself, keeping myself angry, keeping myself sad, keeping myself in a state of hurt and pain. And also realising I am only really hurting myself and those around me. Because I’m in that space of hurt and anger, I’m giving from that place, and that’s what everyone around me can feel.

And then the penny really dropped. I had also brought my children up the same way. You don’t really realise it until much time has passed and you ‘see’ the actions in their lives that imitate you. On how they are treating you because of how you’ve brought them up. How they begin to have their own children and the attitudes they use to bring them up. Even now I find it difficult to be close to them and even say those three little words ‘I love you’. All because of what I was taught and how hard it was to cross that wall that had been built up over the years which was now becoming very evident.

I began to feel guilty of all the things that I had passed on to them. The actions that cause so much pain and hurt and beguile their lives in so many ways. But after many years, and the understanding that life and the wisdom that you find along the way have opened your mind, you begin to realise that this is a journey of understanding so that I can now give from a much better place because of all that I have felt, understood and integrated into who I am.

No, the guilt isn’t an excuse, nor is it an open license to be a disjointed father. I now try to get past that wall by pushing myself past that fear of being hurt from someone I love by just being who I want to be and giving from that place. Yes, for a while it felt strange because I’ve never had that type of relationship with anyone but even I could feel the release from me AND my children because I was trying to be in that place.

An awakening is an understanding. An understanding gives a realisation. A realisation then allows you to change who and what you are. Now is that time to take in a deep breath, let it out, and be who you’ve now become. Release whatever is no longer needed in your life, the anger, the hurt and anything else that ties you to whatever you once were. Cry your eyes out, for it in itself is a great healing and a beautiful way to release what is no longer needed within your life.

Now look in the mirror and see what you have become. Love you for who you are. You are an incredible creation. You build on that creation every day. Be that creation. And be proud of what you have endured, but above all, understand the wisdom that it has given you and integrate that into who you are and build further.

My father’s day has a new meaning these days even though my dad passed away many years ago. It no longer drags me into that hurt and pain even though I do still remember it. The important bit is to just try to be your truth. What you know within is a part of you and how you want to be so that you can give from that place. A place that is changed and makes you feel at ease.

So for all of those fathers out there, who were once children themselves, and all the children out there, who will one day become fathers, eventually you will be able to forgive the actions, let go of the hurt and pain and realise that in all those actions is someone who from their learning didn’t know how to love, how to show their emotions and by that began a  journey to find the understanding that was missing in their lives. You were a part of that, and in that, with great love, you have contributed to their becoming whole once again.

Sometimes it may not seem like any change can be seen, but within it will be very different. They may not be able to express it, for change can be a frightening thing, but all it takes is one step, spoken from the heart, and the change will begin. Done with integrity and the truth within, that awakening to a new you will start.

To all the fathers and the children within, have a beautiful day, and may it be with the love and understanding of a journey that is always done from the heart!

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