When we are in a situation with a friend, partner, family or stranger that we react to, it is only our emotional response to that inner pain that we hold onto so tightly. That bound wall to keep the pain at bay. But because this is so sensitive we react quite strongly or hold it in so no one can see we are affected but eventually explode in anger or tears because it has reached through our walls to touch our fear.
If you respond in anger or tears (whether just internally or externally) THERE is where the fear is. Ask yourself how did that person make you feel. You were obviously hurt but in what way. Did it make you feel rejected…worthless…unloved. Pinpoint exactly how it made you feel…and then take it back to how you felt your parents or those you loved and looked up to had treated you in your childhood. It is there you will find the connection.
Deep inside that child a wall was put up so that this pain could no longer be felt, but it will still hurt on up into adulthood. But we block it so well we forget the ‘why’ because we didn’t want to face it, and as a child our emotional handling capacity has not been developed yet so the only thing they knew how to do was block, put up a wall because it was just too painful. Dig deep, be totally honest with yourself and in there is your freedom.
Now for the nice bit…the day you see and understand that fear will be the day that you realise it wasn’t ‘them’ at all but your reaction to your fear. Once you understand it, it loses its power over you forever. You will see why you did it and realise that it is only your response to a childhood fear that now no longer has any meaning to you. You will also see that your parents brought you up in the best way they knew how…with ‘their’ fears still intact…and treating all those around them through those fears.
When you see and understand that, you forgive them, forgive yourself and all those around you because you realise that they are all only responding to their fears and at that time can’t help it. But you now will understand yours and let it all go, no longer reacting to those things from before.
Out of habit you will now still react but you will ‘feel’ that it has lost its purpose and in fact makes you feel uncomfortable because you now know it is not your truth to act that way and you will begin to change into the truth you have become. And in fact, our fears are so ingrained from a lifetime of ‘being on guard’ to the world, that you will even begin to walk and just plain old talk differently because that old ‘holding pattern’ no longer holds sway.
When I discovered the meaning behind my fears I actually had to learn to walk again. No, I’m not kidding. Once you let go, everything lets go. You become a new person. And you can see that in others, the ones that have been through a very big emotional event and have had to face their fears. And they are so changed even you cannot believe the change in them. That is what is meant by being reborn. Shedding the blocked heart of that old person and taking on the cleared heart of the new, reborn to that truth of what you have now become, no longer living the lie of a fear.
And the thing that still amazes me is, it is only in going through this very thing that we will understand unconditional love. We must first go through a ‘conditional’ love by those very fears. Those conditions that says…I’m not good enough…I can’t do this or that…they don’t like me…feeling rejected, hated, unloved or a million other things.
You cannot know and understand happiness truly until you have felt sadness…cannot know and understand fear until you have felt anger, and as with all of our emotions. None of these can be appreciated until we have felt and experienced their counterpart.
This world is designed perfectly so that we can experience them all. Even now the virus is asking us to look within and touch many emotions that we have never felt before. It is showing us a journey, a much deeper one that will now bring out what has laid beneath the level of this world and ask us…who am I…what do I believe…and face the real things in our hearts instead of the many so called ‘important’ things that are now shown to be just a mask on our feelings.
To touch something so profound can be unsettling but to see the truth of how we have been living all our lives can be a freedom indeed.
Choosing those next steps you take after this event will begin something new. What path has meaning for you? Where do you really want to be? And as you are now beginning to see, even love has a new meaning without a mask.
We have seen this world for all of our lives, now a new one begins. Take those steps that your heart wants, not those that you ‘always did’. You have a choice now, and an understanding of why if it feels threatening and you feel that you are reacting to that choice.
Find your heart, the real one underneath that fear and I give you my heart that underneath it all is a love like no other and it will set you free in soul and mind like nothing you have ever touched before, and this old world will be changed forever…simply because you have ❤️ ❤️ ❤️