Sometimes it Hurts
April 29, 2017
And sometimes you can ‘hear’ a post in your heart.
This is one of those posts! ❤️
Reblogged from Cristen Rodgers
Sometimes it Hurts
The thing about spiritual awakening is that sometimes it hurts.
We talk a lot about the way that everything gets a little brighter and how the world transforms before your eyes. We relish describing how there’s this bottomless well of love hidden right inside your own chest and the way that your relationships – with yourself, with others, with the earth, with god – suddenly and drastically change for the better once you learn how to tap into it. We take joy in sharing the beauty of the journey; but what we often fail to mention is all of the pain that must be endured along the way.
We neglect to talk about how much your feet start to grow tired and eventually bleed as you learn how to walk through rather than around the thorns and barbs in your path. And we forget to mention that courage doesn’t just happen; that you have to face your deepest fears and stand in the darkest of your inner shadows before you learn how to become the light. We don’t talk much about the way that your concept of self is shaken until the meat of your identity begins to fall off; or how, even after that, your bones continue to rattle until even they turn to dust lying at the feet of your naked soul.
Perhaps it would be more accurate to call the process emerging rather than awakening. Awakening deceptively illustrates the process as an effortless transition from the dream landscape of the unconscious to the sharp brightness of reality, wherein the closest thing to pain is a few stiff muscles easily alieved by a short stretch. The word emerging, on the other hand, implies struggle. You don’t emerge effortlessly; emerging is something that must be done in steps, each of which can only be taken because you grew stronger by taking the one before it.
The first step is perhaps the hardest, because it requires the kind of bravery that one only develops in the face of immense fear, the kind of fear that comes from challenging core assumptions. When your foundational beliefs are questioned, the ground beneath your feet begins to tremble and shake. Up and down begin looking eerily alike and the only certainty is that you still exist somewhere in between them.
This is how we learn courage.
It’s not by avoiding fear but by walking into it that we learn how to rise above it. Then you discover the courage of your spirit – it’s not your mind or your muscles that put your feet in motion, but something far stronger, and deeper, pulling you forward from the inside until you finally crack the inner layer of your shell.
But this is only the first step.
Emerging requires more than just growing tired of confinement. You have to break free; you must strip away layer after layer of who you have learned to be before you can get to the truth of who you really are. Stripping away layers of self can be painful, and it can be frightening. We deposit our beliefs, our assumptions, expectations, and definitions over our souls one layer at a time until they harden into a sort of shell behind which hides our true self – that wild, free, formless, beautiful energy that we call the spirit. The longer that this shell remains in place, the more it begins to attach itself to the tender spirit beneath, so that peeling it away tests and pulls at the spirit. It can hurt but it also makes it that much stronger.
Usually these layers don’t just fall away easily like dead skin. They have to be pulled away, like ripping flesh from the bone. But, with each layer that gets pulled away, the light within shines through a little more. And if we keep tugging at all of the things that we thought we should be, eventually we strip away that final layer to discover the true intensity of who we really are.
That’s the truth of it. It hurts. It’s frightening. But it’s the most worthwhile challenge that you will ever go through.
Once all of those layers have been stripped away, you discover what it means to breathe. You marvel at how you didn’t know that you were suffocating; and you can imagine no greater purpose than to help others find their breath. You no longer fear shadows because you have become the source of the light. You can be truly happy because you aren’t always fighting against unhappiness.
This is what it means when we say that if you run from the shadow you also run from the light, or that to know love you must be willing to walk through fear.
A flower cannot bloom without first suffering the darkness of being a buried seed. A bird cannot learn to fly without first facing the fear of falling. And you, my friend, cannot emerge without first suffering the process of tearing away at what confines you.
©2015 Cristen Rodgers
Absolutely beautiful, Mark. Thank you for reposting it.
How are you, my friend? It feels like I’ve been in and out of consciousness in the bloggy-sphere.
I’m always happy to see that you’re still here 🙂
Cristen’s post touched lots of places within Michelle, regardless of where we are within ourselves 😀
I am well thank you, and it is good to see you too Michelle…but your heart is always here kind lady, singing and dancing (and jogging), from your blog always <3 😀
xoxoxo
😀 xox
You know how I can relate to this post Mark.. Many thanks for sharing it.. 🙂 xx
Yes my friend, I do. It is the journey of journey’s. And a destination like no other. Cristen’s post was so on the money I just had to repost 😀
And thank you for sharing your journey also <3 😀 xo
Yes so spot on.. I am happy you did.. 🙂 I enjoyed reading both her posts.. 🙂
Cristen does speak from within, and is very easy to read and ‘feel’ her words 😀
🙂 it is.. 🙂
Oh boy, this one hit the nail on the head. Thank you, Mark, for posting this. <3
My pleasure Amy. Cristen’s words are straight from the heart. The lady has ‘touched’ what we all seek, and you can ‘feel’ that truth within her words <3 😀
I followed her, Mark. I “feel” the Truth from her. I really again thank you for showing me the way to her blog. 🙂 <3
My pleasure Amy. Just remember, you are exactly where Cristen is, gradually removing those things that block your truth so you can also be that ‘clear’ 😀
Your recent journey has removed a very big piece of your wall. Now be gentle with yourself as you ‘adjust’ to the new you, that is also a part of the journey <3 😀
Believe it or not, I still am recovering, Mark. Little by little I am beginning to feel the semblance of the “new normal”. 🙂
Well done Amy. To understand where you are at, is a large part of the understanding of self. Feel the change, understand what it means to ‘your’ truth, and begin to live from that light <3
In my journey, it had taken many years to slowly realise it was always up to me, to begin and create that change because I knew that was where the love was. That belief in who I really was when I saw why the fears were driving me. And in that understanding I finally 'let go' and truly stood in my heart space. And then a beautiful thing begins to happen…I began to build that love of me…and the universe responded in kind. It had been waiting gently, with a great love, to embrace who I really was within. And many times since, it has brought me to tears…from the beauty and power of that love. I see things that are so incredible in the simplest of things. But most of all, I see us…all of us, struggling and fighting our way through those fears, not understanding truly why, but slowly reaching for that profound connection within. And in that touch, a light comes on…and a love like no other begins to shine from the eyes of each and every soul as they are set free.
Your journey has begun kind lady, seeing and understanding a worth like no other. Follow that light within, it will enfold you like a blanket of love <3 Namaste <3
Fears … ah yes. Fears we don’t even know we have stored within ourselves. A memory came bubbling up from when I was about 6 or 7, one that I finally let go of. And in seeing that memory some of what I do makes more sense. As for me stepping more and more into Who I Am, I have one person in my life who resents this and is continually resisting and attempts to tear me down. And still the tests come. I must learn due to life circumstances this person is probably my Greatest Teacher who is teaching me no matter the environment or the “illusions” life shows me, I must maintain a firm hold on Who I Am. Easier said then done, Mark. When I am out in Nature, I too have cried for the Beauty and the Bliss that is now mine to embrace. Soon, very soon, when the rain and the chilly pass, I am headed out to my fav park with my cam to walk into a world of new green. THAT is where I almost pass out from the Bliss I feel. I get so high that my feet barely touch the ground. It’s amazing. Some day, dear friend, this resistance I now experience will no longer be, and when that day comes I will know I have learned all that I was meant to learn. Bless you for your incredible words of Wisdom you pass on to me. You give me great Encouragement to continue this Path that at times is the most challenging aspect of my Life. So Much Love to you!! <3
And to you also kind lady. Your words show me you have accepted your path and can now ‘see’. This world will keep prodding, but in your understanding it slowly will no longer hold you in its patterns, and affect you as it did.
It takes time, but in truth, time also loses its hold. Much love to you Amy, may your ‘touch’ in nature be your power source, with the love that you now see in us all <3 😀
Well curated, Mark! Really enjoyed this one:).
Thank you kind lady. They are the words of truth and can be heard for what they are…a recognition of our own pathway 😀
Thank you for sharing this post, Mark 🙂
My pleasure Michele, she has an amazing heart, and ‘touched’ that place within <3