Decided to dance a little deeper in life, and wow can spirit dance!

Sunrise

Tag: Anger

The Safety of Awareness

Such a beautiful world. So balanced in all its ways. Yes, even the mistakes have purpose, for now we swear upon our hearts that we will never do it again, like so many other things in our lives. But we do….why?

It seems we have this insatiable need to have control of our lives, be in a place where we can handle most of what is thrown at us. And that ‘security’ is the basis of how we can face the world, even though we still find that many things throw us off balance. And we react to those things because they are the core issues of what we are afraid of, even if we don’t see them clearly all the time.

We spend so much time hiding in fear from the bully up the street, building and building this 30 foot monster until the very thought of going out the front door is abhorrent. But the bully is still the kid up the street that only knows that control of his life by what he thinks is ‘his’ safety. And probably totally forgotten about you unless you happen to be his current weaker opponent to make him feel better about himself.

And as our lives go on we build these safety places, places where we feel in control….falling in love, marriage, a home and even some ‘munchkins’ to build that inner peace (ok, the kids may be pushing that a bit 🙂 ).

But in amongst this we get tested. A button pushed here and there, just so we can feel the other side, see where we are not feeling that safety we are trying to build. In general we go through it and feel relieved that we have passed through this and can move on.

But sometimes we really get something prodded so that we are losing that safety zone. Something won’t let go and reaches a point where we have no choice but to face it and go through, what we feel, is one of the most stressful times of our lives. A life issue…divorce, break ups, a death and even a job loss can take us down this path…because they all point to that one thing inside us all that we all avoid as much as possible…that negativity, our sense of worth in whatever form it takes, about ourselves that has been hammered home all our lives by, originally, those we love, but kept alive by those we attract to us.

Attract I say…yes…how many people have you pointed at and said, “she/he is doing it again”, “they never learn”, “I can’t believe this”, about someone else who is going through, for the tenth time, something that you can see is not right and know the outcome because you have been there. But that is the whole point, it is now no longer your fear, it doesn’t have that fearful hold on you any longer because you have gone through it (or never did because you had no fear of it).

But again, that is the entire point. Each and every time you understand that ‘knowing’ inside because you have felt that pain, that terror of going through something that has tested you beyond what you think you could handle, has raised your awareness, given you the wisdom to see and understand that what was underneath was something that you alone had built to protect yourself, but in truth blocked you from seeing the truth inside. The understanding after you go through this is huge.

And it has been given to you in this way for one reason only…to show you the beauty that is you. Underneath all the uproar and that feeling of, “I can’t do this”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m going to lose it”, you show the strength that is really inside and you DO go through it, and finally see the truth of what you are inside…and you begin to stand in that awareness. You reach a point of, “I’m not doing this any more”, “I’m worth more than this”, “I deserve more than this”, and you slowly begin to break free.

Yes, it does take time, but that time is needed so that this very situation retests you, and each time you reinforce those words of worth and deserving a little more. Always more tears and even anger. But this anger is because your heart is asking you step past what you thought WAS your safety zone. That place that kept you in control of where you were at. But it was removed and the change was a serious asking of yourself to step out of that safety and move into a scary and strange world, one where you have never been before. And you will even find that you hold on desperately to this situation as it crumbles around you, out of the fear of losing that safety. Especially if it is a love for another.

Those people we give our hearts to are the one safety anchor in our lives that we think we can rely on forever. But it is also the one place that tears our hearts out. And it must or we will never step through those fears in our lives. We will use our love as a shield, to not see something within ourselves we don’t wish to, or even distract us so that we think everything is ok. But it is the power of that love that will take us on that journey within. It eventually makes us see that place we have avoided and suddenly our safe place is gone.

It is a tough journey, but it must be or we would never face what is buried inside. And after all is said and done, we do begin to love ourselves because of it. We are more deserving, we are worth so much more, and this event will bring this realisation and bring us closer to that heart within. Even the anger of being hurt and what we feel by being treated so poorly by those we loved will slowly subside as we realise that we are in a better place, much wiser, much more loving, because we have loved ourselves more and no longer need our love as a shield to protect us.

Our love for self is enough, we no longer need to rely on another’s love to be safe. And that understanding then allows us to give from that place of self love…and attract the same. We no longer ‘need’ to be in a relationship. We begin to understand that by loving ourselves we naturally give that love out. If we are angry, fearful or unhappy…that is what we give out and attract to us. When we love ourselves truly, go past our fears, we then give from an unconditional place, and attract that unconditional love….and no longer attract a situation where it asks us to go through something within.

And as that awareness grows, the more shadows in your life you go through and the more light you let in, the more that unconditional love shines out!

May your heart find that awareness.

Mark

The Heart’s Journey!

Event’s…they all teach so many things about ourselves…bring us to that one truth within ourselves that is unconditional love. Ask yourself…which event in your life did you go through and not learn anger, pain and fear…and on completing this event, eventually feel the forgiveness, compassion and love (of self and others), because you began to realise those harsher energies were keeping you in that negative space. Too painful to bear within so you begin the process of change, with all of its mistakes and false starts, until you finally realise that it is in forgiving yourself that true healing begins.

All eventually lead to this place, all events allow us to create that beautiful understanding within. Painful….yes, but that is the journey or it would have no point. If you go through something that has little effect, you forget it the next day. But if you go through the pain of these things you feel, they are forever a part of who you become.

Especially from those heartfelt places like the loss of a loved one. The compassion and empathy that they create are immense. When you see another go through what has touched you so deeply within, your compassion is awakened and you now give from that place. You now understand, you ‘know’ their pain, so give from that place. If you have never been in that space before, you can give empathy, but it is not from that total heartfelt place from ‘knowing’.

So in going through that loss, that beautiful soul has released its earthbound body and deliberately helped us to understand the love within. They wanted to be a part of that creation and understanding within us. They loved us so much, they gave totally so that we may become that unconditional love, as they now are.

They have only released that body. They are still that beautiful soul that is eternal and infinite. They will always be a part of us, as we are of them.

This journey in all its extremes only leads to one place. Self realisation. We can struggle and fight it but we tire of this struggle, and when anyone is asked ‘what do you want?’, the answer is always the same, ‘just to be happy!’.

We all yearn to be in that place, away from those things that only bring pain and hurt. So an answer to all of our struggles is always sought, to find that ‘thing’ within that can bring us to that place of peace, of happiness and the love that we so wish for. And it is found, when we finally understand that what we project out into this world is only a reflection of ourselves. We project our fears and in doing so we actually create them, so that we can go through them and create that self realisation, understand why we have felt this fear within, and release the wall that has stopped us from loving ourselves.

And in that understanding, the wisdom, the empathy, the compassion and love, are also then mirrored out into the world, a reflection of what we have become.

May your understanding be a true reflection of who you are within.

Namaste

Feeling your way Home!

I know underneath that all of our paths shape us by that one immutable law of attraction, and we bring into our lives the very thing that is needed to teach us its wisdom. We deny it, struggle with it, dance around the edges till it’s time to face it.

And in saying that, you would think this world a terrible place, hardship after hardship grinding us down in ever changing ways. The day in and out of seemingly endless times of tears and pain, and at times becoming unbearable.

But it has purpose. Much purpose for it is the one thing in this world that constantly teaches us about ourselves. A journey, as painful as it is, to reclaim that beauty within.
It does not matter what we do on this planet, they all point back inside us. Whether it is a walk in the park, we feel good, a day earning money, we feel secure, an argument with your partner, we feel angry, a loss of a loved one, we feel grief.

Everything, and I mean everything, is a reflection of our constant feelings within. And we must feel each and every one of them, these feelings, to understand who we are. To truly know ourselves we must feel the anger, hate and jealousies of this world so that we can really appreciate those opposite things of excitement, happiness and love to allow an understanding that completes us.

To be complete is the wisdom to understand something within ourselves, an awareness of our journey that is built on as we go through all of these things. And in that wisdom is the understanding of that duality within, that treating of ourselves as being unworthy or not good enough for an assortment of things in our lives, so we put up walls, wear masks and deny these things of fear within us as they are too painful to confront.

But it is not until we face these things within, and accept them as something we had to go through for that understanding, do we realise that they are all something that was put there so that we could learn from them, see that what we had put in place does in fact allow us to see that non love of self, a belief of not feeling good enough, loveable enough, to be all we can be.

And on facing these negative beliefs, we then recognise they are in fact something that we no longer want to be. We no longer wish to be in a place that creates a place of no love, no belief and a constant reminder of that place. And so the struggle begins, to look inside and understand why we feel this way.

So the universe with all the love in the world realises it’s time. You have put it out there that you no longer wish to be that person, no longer wish to feel that pain any more and become something beyond that. Be something of value and worth within. Become what your heart has been yearning for, for a very long time.

You now attract the very thing that will allow you to face those fears, those negative aspects of self and become what your heart so desires. You face the one thing that will take you to that deep place within so that you can feel that depth of all those negative feelings so that when you emerge from this time, everything changes.

You really understand where you have been, you begin to see things from a new light, and you understand that it has changed you. You appreciate where you have been, so much so that many things that had meaning to you, no longer do. Your direction in life changes, and more so within, for you have now found that love within. You realise in time that you have found self, and it gives you a more peaceful, accepting and patient outlook. The understanding can be quite profound as it will alter so much that you held within.

Your now at the top of your hill. You’ve now come much further than you ever have…and…it is now up to you, your direction, instead of being pulled from pillow to post by the whims of the world around you. Yes, all these things are still happening around you, but they no longer have the pull that they did. They no longer have meaning as you feel you have stepped past this vibration of being dragged into everything.

You have in fact opened and now allow all to go through you, released the strings that held it to you. You no longer resist and attract. It is always the opposite to what we realise. Your journey has gone past it peak and that understanding within now shows you your new path, that path that takes into account that you are that love you have now discovered within, you do love that person inside with all that you are.

You are that unconditional love and you begin to treat yourself that way by accepting yourself for exactly who you are within. All the lumps, bumps and blemishes are irrelevant, as they are exactly who you needed to be on this journey, to show you the way home, to be that beauty within that is unconditional love.

It is a hard journey, but one of the most beautiful and heartfelt creations is its path.

May that awareness show you that self love and give you strength to endure.

Namaste

Two Wolves!

This post was triggered by a post by a lovely lady, Pat Cegan (Pat’s Pondering – evil), and it brought back a part of my journey where spirit showed me something we all partake in. Throughout life we have many instances of doing right and wrong in a maze of our day to day lives. This can be as simple as taking a toy off another child. Mind you, you are also a child, so the uproar from the other child, smack and scolding is seriously in your face, so it is an event you take on board because of its impact on us. And like most of life, our actions have much impact around us, and by their creation (good or bad), we feel their responses in many different ways.

Give a flower to a beautiful lady and the response (usually), is at the least, a smile and some lovely words for the gift. At the opposite end of the scale is abusing someone and in response getting abused back or at the least leaving that person upset or angry. In many of these examples we see every day, are from people who are only acting from what they have been taught or are unsure in how to deal with a situation, and can sometimes overreact or give a response that ‘seems’ to be out of context with whatever has occurred.

I see these things every day and I think that there should, at the least, be a very humanistic side to the teaching of our young in schools to make sure that they at least have something in their learning to show them there is another way, even though at home may not be very comfortable. For in that space at home are the people they love and look up to, want to be so much like them, even though those same people have probably grown up with circumstances that are less than favorable for themselves and can’t help but pass on what they have learned by their parents that they loved and looked up to as well.

But each time I think of these things, I am shown another element by spirit, whereby our lives are full of these things for a reason. We live within the context of these things in our lives to show us an understanding of what holds truth within us, and by experiencing these ‘good and evil’ things we come to know our truth, that release of our fears, letting go of our expectations and finally coming to understand what unconditional love is. And it is there…I have seen and felt it…is the absence of all these things. The understanding of why we hold onto many things in our life through those fears, IS to learn the empathy, the love and beauty that it holds.

We avoid our fears for one very big reason…they scare us. Why would we stick ourselves into a situation that frightens us. For one very good reason. That avoidance builds the fear to such a degree, so that when finally faced, the emotional impact is huge. It is an incredible release of all that we have built up against it, and the impact on us, and understanding of just what held that fear in place, leaves a big effect to such a degree, that we have great empathy for others who we now see in that same circumstance. We learn much by it.

Basically we feel a wrong within us each time we become fearful of doing something, or we only do those things because we know no other way. Whenever we step through that fear, or give to another, we feel that warm, open feeling of love because we have chosen that path. It is the universe just as it was designed. Whatever we put out there comes back in kind so that we do understand where we are at as we learn, realize and understand that journey to the unconditional love that is everywhere. Just waiting for us to understand good and bad, drop our walls of protection and release those fears we build, for we have known no other way.

Be that change. Begin to step towards that warm, open feeling within your life and watch it begin to change your circumstances. Don’t put any expectations on it, just be what you know within IS your truth and coming from that place within. It may seem difficult at first, but next time you become involved in an awkward situation, do not react, breeeathe…and show the other person there is another way, another outcome that is beneficial to all. And from that love within you, you are helping them on their journey, and yourself, starting a new learning experience, and creating within them a new path to that love that we all so dearly wish to reach within.

The following is something that I always have in my healing room. I must apologize as I do not know its origins, but its wisdom is priceless.


TWO WOLVES

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said,

‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.
One is evil. It is anger, envy, regret, jealousy, sorrow, greed, arrogance, self pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.
The other one is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, empathy, benevolence, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute then asked his grandfather,

‘Which wolf wins?’

The old Cherokee simply replied,

‘The one you feed’.


Namaste

Fathers Day (Australia)!

What a day for Fathers everywhere, yesterday was a great day! But what does it really mean to all those children out there. Many have fantastic fathers who in their own way have lived their life in such a way that they are looked up to and cherished for all that they do. But some children, even on into adulthood, only remember the pain and anguish of being a part of a very disjointed family with the father figure being someone that was only remembered with loathing and hatred.

This I did, and only remembering the bits that I loathed my father for. Locking them in place so I always had something to rely on so I could always bring it out when I needed it in my life. Then one day a lovely friend of mine, while I was in the throes of a rant and rave about my father, casually mentions to me that, ‘are you happy with who you are?’, to which I replied ‘yes!’, she then went on to say, ‘if your father wasn’t the person that he was…you wouldn’t be the person that you now are…so which bit do you want to change?’.

I was stunned! I blustered and bumbled and then got angry. How dare she say…well, what was she saying…that I should ‘accept’ who my father was…no bloody way…I’ve invested a life time of hating that man…there was no way I was going to forgive that, not this side of hell freezing over.

For days after it I was angry, I couldn’t believe the turmoil it had created. And after I had cooled off after a while I began to realise something. She was right, and that got me angrier! I didn’t want to deal with it but the reality kept knocking on my door. She was totally right. I am who I am, because he was who he was. And he was only who he was because of how HE was brought up and only knew how to bring me up the same way. My dad was a part of HIS environment just as I was.

So I had (notice I say ‘had’, later on you realise that until you say ‘want’, only then does it truly happen), to forgive him…AND forgive myself for judging him for all those years. And I then realised something else. I was only hurting myself, keeping myself angry, keeping myself sad, keeping myself in a state of hurt and pain. And also realising I am only really hurting myself and those around me. Because I’m in that space of hurt and anger, I’m giving from that place, and that’s what everyone around me can feel.

And then the penny really dropped. I had also brought my children up the same way. You don’t really realise it until much time has passed and you ‘see’ the actions in their lives that imitate you. On how they are treating you because of how you’ve brought them up. How they begin to have their own children and the attitudes they use to bring them up. Even now I find it difficult to be close to them and even say those three little words ‘I love you’. All because of what I was taught and how hard it was to cross that wall that had been built up over the years which was now becoming very evident.

I began to feel guilty of all the things that I had passed on to them. The actions that cause so much pain and hurt and beguile their lives in so many ways. But after many years, and the understanding that life and the wisdom that you find along the way have opened your mind, you begin to realise that this is a journey of understanding so that I can now give from a much better place because of all that I have felt, understood and integrated into who I am.

No, the guilt isn’t an excuse, nor is it an open license to be a disjointed father. I now try to get past that wall by pushing myself past that fear of being hurt from someone I love by just being who I want to be and giving from that place. Yes, for a while it felt strange because I’ve never had that type of relationship with anyone but even I could feel the release from me AND my children because I was trying to be in that place.

An awakening is an understanding. An understanding gives a realisation. A realisation then allows you to change who and what you are. Now is that time to take in a deep breath, let it out, and be who you’ve now become. Release whatever is no longer needed in your life, the anger, the hurt and anything else that ties you to whatever you once were. Cry your eyes out, for it in itself is a great healing and a beautiful way to release what is no longer needed within your life.

Now look in the mirror and see what you have become. Love you for who you are. You are an incredible creation. You build on that creation every day. Be that creation. And be proud of what you have endured, but above all, understand the wisdom that it has given you and integrate that into who you are and build further.

My father’s day has a new meaning these days even though my dad passed away many years ago. It no longer drags me into that hurt and pain even though I do still remember it. The important bit is to just try to be your truth. What you know within is a part of you and how you want to be so that you can give from that place. A place that is changed and makes you feel at ease.

So for all of those fathers out there, who were once children themselves, and all the children out there, who will one day become fathers, eventually you will be able to forgive the actions, let go of the hurt and pain and realise that in all those actions is someone who from their learning didn’t know how to love, how to show their emotions and by that began a  journey to find the understanding that was missing in their lives. You were a part of that, and in that, with great love, you have contributed to their becoming whole once again.

Sometimes it may not seem like any change can be seen, but within it will be very different. They may not be able to express it, for change can be a frightening thing, but all it takes is one step, spoken from the heart, and the change will begin. Done with integrity and the truth within, that awakening to a new you will start.

To all the fathers and the children within, have a beautiful day, and may it be with the love and understanding of a journey that is always done from the heart!

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