Decided to dance a little deeper in life, and wow can spirit dance!

Sunrise

The Key To Freedom!

When we are raised as children we unintentionally take on the fears of those we love and look up to in the way they treat us. We know no other way so take on what we are taught and how we learn from that treatment. Don’t get me wrong, they love us to bits too, in their own ways. But those we look up to have not dealt with their own trauma so unintentionally ‘pass it on’, leaving us feeling rejected in some manner. Usually left feeling unloved (as they were), belittled (as they were), rejected as a person (as they were), in some way and so that anyone, be it friends, lovers or whoever treats us similarly will bring those emotions up that are connected to this.

That is what fears are, a constant treatment and our reaction to it condensing it into those negative reactions that can become very, at times, overpowering (remember you were only a child and your only coping strategies was to emotionally block that pain, build an emotional wall). And in the depth of that we are afraid to think that there is something wrong with us and try to hide it from everyone, even ourselves, simply because its pain, the hurt it gives is beyond words…it is…us.

But there is a key, to which you can apply to all those ‘fears’ in your life. It may be difficult but we would not appreciate it if it were not. It is only after we work hard at something that we fully appreciate it for what it is.

Fear in anything is basically not understanding something. If you are thrown into a situation that you have never been in before, say a new job, we are very nervous, unsure how we will go. And this will stay for a while but as you understand all of its workings it becomes easier and easier until you barely give it a thought.

Emotionally, with a fear, you are being asked to face something that continually upsets you because it always has, because you didn’t truly understand why. You think you do and point the finger at everything else but one…you. Yes, you…it is only you ‘reacting’ from your fear. Yes, ‘they’ are treating you a certain way ‘from their fears’ but you need to break those actions from ‘your’ fears…or you will ever be bound by its claws. Once you understand your fear, it loses its power over you, like that new job above. You have understood it and it will no longer matter to you, so you will no longer need to ‘point the finger at anything’.

Now you have to understand your fear, go back to where it began as a child…and be that child again. How was the treatment making you feel, how did it make you think. Find what it meant personally to you in those feelings, did it make you feel pain, rejection, unloved by the very people you wanted to love you. Understand it truly and it will set you free. That is the core of all of our journeys, understand that rejection AND how it made you feel about yourself and you will see you have carried this into every relationship you have had because that is what you have become because of it. Trust me, how many times has someone your in a relationship with do things that upset you? Many…because that is what your fear is built from, they treat you a certain way and you react to it. Yes, it is you that is reacting, your fears are triggered and you don’t want to go there so you demand that your partner never treats you like that again. And you will pile it with so many ‘reasonable’ reasons so that they cannot ‘see’ the pain beneath it. You curb and curb, project and stifle all around you because of ‘your’ fear. Break the chain, that negative loop that life has developed within you by understanding it, and it will set you free.

Now don’t get me wrong, this very lifetime action has much purpose. When you break free you will be able to truly see it all back through your life. All of your actions within those many relationships but more importantly the one you have with yourself. The belief in who you are and how you have felt because of that ever rejection in those many relationships. It has always asked you to look within and find that love you felt was denied you, and that is what you have always attracted to you in those people that make you feel that way so that you will look, hence those many people that have come out of nowhere and push your buttons. Trust me, that love wants you to look, wants you to be free, and does this with a great love so that you can see and appreciate what it has taught you after enduring such a painful, heartfelt journey.

Look at someone who has been through a very painful journey, see how they now act after it. They become a more loving, empathetic and heartfelt person…because ‘they’ have been through something very profound with ‘themselves’ and that journey has built something that they have never had…trust, and that trust is that belief in who they are and allows that self love that has never been there. It always comes back to how we feel about ourselves, that journey that has stripped us of that belief and that journey to find our way back to us, and realise in doing it, it has created something wonderful, something so profound that when we finally break through and see under that fear in understanding, it will break us into tears. Not fearful tears but big, beautiful loving tears…the one’s that set us free…forever…because we will see that it was all done for us, to guide us to that inner love ❤️

When you finally stop that painful, self denying journey you will see something unbelievable. The fear has made you into a liar (lots and lots of little white lies…and some big ones), to cover all that you do so that you don’t have to face its pain. But when it is understood it loses its power over you and for the first time ever, you trust…fully trust you, and can now speak from your heart, not a lie to be seen. And at that very moment you understand you will feel a huge tension leave your body and for the first time be at peace with you AND the world around you. You will drop…almost everything that you have ever held, inside and out. You no longer have to ‘be’ anything, no longer have to…have to anything. You can now see that freedom, see that it was in fact you who held the reins of that wild prancing mind, and in holding it, it fought tooth and nail back. You’ve let it go and in doing so have now truly found you. It has lost its power over you.

So grab a counselor, a trusted friend, one who you can ‘open’ to in all its painful bits inside and keep pushing yourself deeper, past that wall of emotional protection that has had a lifetime to build and believe in you, that you are good enough to ‘see’ who you truly are. And thank all those people and things who have turned up in your life to bring you home, be they helpers or hurtful things, they have all given you a guide to that love. Even you over time have felt that it was an unusual moment for it all to come together so many times like it has. Trust it, it comes with a love like no other, so that you can be that love too ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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11 Comments

  1. I’ve been there Mark, and you’re so right. You have to get to the bottom of your fears in order to break the chain. It can be a scary hard journey but so wonderful once you do this because you finally can breathe and just be you. Wonderful post! xo

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Michele, I know I keep repeating parts of this but it is so important to dare ourselves to take that last step. It is indeed the breakthrough our hearts and minds yearn for, that love and happiness we ever search for. We just don’t realise where it is, always looking ‘out there’, not realising it is lovingly waiting for us to look ‘within’. Thank you for sharing kind lady, may your within always be lit with that light you found too xo 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

  2. Beautiful post, Mark. 💛🌼🪴Fear is such a liar. There’s a beauty in love that I finally experienced when I broke the chain of fear that came with my feelings of rejection. To truly love yourself as you’ve grown to be is such an amazing form of love~that which can be truly shared with others! 👏🏻🤗🙌🏻✨🌟💛 you are wise my friend!

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Karla, it is in hindsight a wonderful journey. When I looked back after my breakthrough I could see it all back through my life and understand that each and every piece was a beautifully crafted destination. I still shake my head at its incredible complexity to reach a single point…love…’ours’. And I ‘know’ that there is not a single thing I’ve been through that I would change, even those bits that I cringe in horror at my thoughts or actions. In fact they are the most important or we wouldn’t look within and cry for that change to go beyond them. A long, long time ago I dared God to show me purpose in this mixed up crazy world…and He did. And all during my journey Spirit explained (it’s a bit hard to describe this bit as it was before, during and after going through many pieces of my life), the wisdom that it held so that I could see what lay beneath each step I took. Painful…yes. Wise…yes. Very loving even among the pain and hurt…oh yes, yes, yes. It is hard to explain but it is so, so profound to see it all come together in such perfection, even to the point that each and every connection we make with others is exactly that connection that another needs in their hearts. From what I have been shown LOVE IS EVERYTHING. And I don’t mean just the love that we hug and hold and feel good about…it is that part that connects us, helps us, shares us and is everything that drives us to be ‘us’. I can barely put it into words but believe me, when you finally ‘touch’ that part your heart and mind just shift into another way of being. That’s down here let alone what is above. Sorry Karla, almost did another post. I get a bit excited for everyone after seeing the beauty awaiting 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋 😂 🤣

      • Mark, how beautiful! Have you written a book? I’m taking the segments of my life and trying to put together in a daily devotion type form. The awakening is such a poignant part of our journey. Love is everything indeed! Never apologize ~your words ring with truth! 🙏🏻💚✨🌟🙌🏻🤗

        • Mark Lanesbury

          It is all just coming together now, as in the last recent 12 month part was needed so I could see from a distance…see the forest for the tree’s, instead of not seeing them 😀. Plus, now along with you, a few dear friends have suggested it’s time to put it into a book so others can share the journey. Thank you for sharing yours 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

  3. We have the keys, we just need the courage to use them. Excellent post Mark.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      We do have the keys dear lady, and as you said it just takes some time to gain the heart and understanding to put the key into the lock. It will have taken so many experiences to finally reach that point but in the end when we do put those keys in, our hearts will turn over and begin to run as they were meant to. Thank you for sharing Pam 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

  4. Anonymous

    Beautiful words of love Mark, so grateful for your explanations to help us all come back home to love. Sending love to you x Barbara

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Barbara, it is a beautiful journey even though we get a flat tire occasionally. But then even that makes us stop, get a breath of fresh air and smell the roses 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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