Compassion! (The Post)

‘Our love, our compassion is in understanding the tears of another, and sharing that moment with them…our hearts cannot connect in a more truer way, hence the power within that moment’

What an incredible word. It brings so much feeling to whatever it is applied to.

But…why is it that some people have it, and others appear to have none. Where is this switch that it can be on or off at the drop of a hat?

And that my dear friend’s is where the secret of compassion is.

We all have compassion because it is built on our ‘experiences’ in this life. And if we aren’t shown compassion in our journey, we find it difficult to show others. But it is very difficult to have true compassion for someone when they are struggling with something that we don’t truly understand, because we haven’t experienced it.

I would feel compassion for a man who is married, lost his job and has fourteen children and struggling to make ends meet…but, when I realise he sits around all day drinking and chatting to his friends with not a care in world, my compassion diminishes…why?

Because my upbringing in life tells me that I should put effort into things, to achieve by that effort and within those struggles to create what I want, is the path I should take. And I measure everyone else by that, realising that everyone does have different dreams and hopes in this world, so shouldn’t be judged by their different dreams or their efforts. But to actually sit around and not really try to do anything lowers my compassion because I only see laziness or a lack of effort.

So in judging this man, I confront him and say ‘what a life! I wish I could do this, lazing around drinking and chatting to friends all day, it would be fantastic’. To which he burst’s into tears, shows much emotion to this accusation. And then begins to tell me of his journey where as a fireman he had rushed into a building to save four people, two adults and two little children. He had brought them out but heard their calls for their pet dog, to which he went back in but was caught in a collapse and badly injured by breaking his back and burning his lungs. Hence the sitting around drinking and chatting was just his friends giving him compassion for what he had gone through. And the fact that he could no longer contribute to himself, family or community because of what had happened.

I would be stunned, my compassion going through the roof for this man that had put his life on the line for the safety of others.

So because of what I had seen and experienced in life, I was judging another, when in truth I had no idea.

My compassion has changed five times in relating the above story. But why?

Well, in saying the above, there is one more thing that drives our compassion more than any other thing in this world.

Yes, our experiences are a big driver. To experience something means we can have true compassion because we relate to it directly, and can then truly understand what another is experiencing. But even then there is one other thing that will affect our compassion, and by its very nature it is a block to all that we do.

Our world is built on ‘conditional’. Loaded with it. And as we grow up it will implant its fears in such a way that we become that ‘conditional’, avoiding many things because of their pain. And in doing so we ‘hold’ much emotion within…because of that pain, and the love that we feel we are losing or we don’t deserve. And those walls are a buffer to the one thing that this life is trying to teach us. To love ourselves!

We cannot give out what we cannot give to ourselves. We are a reflection of what we are. If you are angry, you give out anger. If you are sad, you give out sadness. You can cover it by ‘acting’ a certain way, but deep inside you are still the person that you are from your experiences.

So our compassion is built on our experiences and how we are able to reflect that into the world.

Now I’m going to rock your boat a little further. Spirit said to me…’We know everything, but we do not ‘know’ it!’. Meaning that as Spirit they too must experience this conditional world to understand ‘unconditional’ love. That is our whole purpose down here. It is the only thing we take back ‘up there’, the compassion and love that we experience and develop ‘down here’.

So I will tell you something that happened to me many years ago.

I was with a beautiful friend who was going through a very rough period with her diagnosis of being Bi-Polar. During this afternoon I was watching her escalate beyond anything I could even imagine, becoming angrier and more agitated as the afternoon went on…and as a healer I could ‘feel’ that struggle of this little frightened girl inside struggling to come out of this wilderness that she was in…and my heart just ‘opened’ with so much compassion, and my heart totally went out to her.

And the most incredible thing happened…I was suddenly no longer there, I was ‘somewhere’ that could touch and feel everything. I no longer needed to ask any questions…I ‘knew’. Time was irrelevant, and the most incredible love and compassion I could never put into words, I would diminish it if I tried. But the one thing I did know was…I had ‘let go’ of my worlds fears and totally gave from my heart to this friend from a place I ‘know’ is within us all, a place that is all our destinations as we experience everything on our individual paths. And to reach this place we ‘need’ to have ‘conditional’ so that we can then truly ‘know’ and understand ‘compassion’, to achieve that ‘unconditional’ place within us all. We cannot ‘know’ happiness, unless we ‘know’ sadness. We cannot ‘know’ compassion, unless we ‘know’ fear. We cannot ‘know’ unconditional, unless we ‘know’ conditional. They are all our experiences.

So my journey has been built on that understanding, that all that we do is guiding us ever closer to that unconditional love that we all seek. To find that happiness within that is built on our ability to find that compassion within all that we do. And do it we will, because all experiences show us more and more of who we truly are within, the beauty that is only a wall away from a freedom like no other, and that happiness that we all search for.

I no longer judge anyone…no, not even a murderer. They too have their journey that affects them and all around them…but it all has purpose, to find that heart within by ‘seeing’ and ‘experiencing’ and find that balance inside, the one that says go past my fear, understand that it is just in place so that I can ‘see’ the truth within, release the duality of not loving myself because of that fear, and find that oneness that will make us whole once more.

My journey.

I have been blessed with touching something that is initially unseen by this world. And when I was ready, it came knocking to see if I was listening. And when I was ready, going through one of the most tumultuous times in my life, I was at a place where I asked God, ‘Why?… what meaning was there in such a ‘dark night of the soul’ experience. Show me, at the least, some purpose in what we do’.

And God did.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I had made the decision in my life to have meaning in what I do, so I became a Remedial Massage Therapist to help heal others. And it was within those healing’s that I began to actually ‘see’ myself within others as they responded to me. And as this grew, from each fear that I faced and understood, the clearer I could ‘see’ and understand others. The more I opened my heart to myself, the more I could share that opening to others. And as each step was taken, spirit would show me many things to understand what this journey really means.

I have shared what I was shown over the years here on my blog site. And with those incredible experiences is the one thing that spirit has always been very constant with…we are all here to find that self-love, it is what unconditional love is…that ability to no longer hold anything against ourselves, that negativity, self-loathing or fear because we feel we have been rejected by those we love and look up to as we have grown up. Always thinking deep down, ‘they don’t love me, there must be something wrong with me for them to treat me like that’ and not feeling loved because of those actions, and building emotional walls to block the pain that they cause. And we hold those doubts for a very long time, slowly simmering below the surface in all that we do.

Then along comes that event , a divorce or a death of someone very close, or a rejection from those we love, that will bring it rushing back up so that we can begin that journey to break free from our fear, a rebirth if you will, to finally understand and be released from its shackles…and touch that happiness we have always looked for.

And have that one compassion that always seemed to elude us…that compassion for ourselves.

Only then, in ‘knowing’ conditional, will we then ‘know’ unconditional, and a true compassion in all that we do.

( me 😀 )
I thought I better add a picture so everyone would finally ‘see’ who they were ‘listening’ to.


38 thoughts on “Compassion! (The Post)

  1. Finally got to ‘see’ the compassionate soul I am so inspired by. Kidding, I have always seen you with the eyes of my soul as a loving, kind and thoughtful person. Smiles yo

    1. Thank you kind lady. And it was because I was finally loving, kind and thoughtful to myself Himali. The day I faced my fears and truly went digging to find the meaning behind my fears, was the day I was set free. The understanding of those fears are the answer to life, disarming their ability to freeze us in an instant. Once free we begin to think again, no longer reflecting judgements back on ourselves or others, and see the world truly. It is amazing to finally actually see a butterfly on a flower, a bird singing its heart out and the sparkle in anothers eyes. Our fears block that. Yes we look and listen, but our minds are going zoom, zoom all the time. When the fears go, so does the racket, and we can finally see and listen, with our eyes, ears and finally our hearts <3

    1. Compassion is the core of that love we have within, and being able to express it without our fears blocking it. We tend to give it to others but have great difficulty in giving it to ourselves, being a part of that self love we struggle with. But that is the journey, in breaking through those walls and truly ‘seeing’ the fear and why we actually have it in place. And we actually have a blind spot for it because as children we won’t look at it because it terrify’s us, to not be loved by someone because of how they treat us is something like that monster in our closets. If we don’t look and see it…it can’t really be there, and then taking that on into our adulthood.
      What we don’t realise is, it is the fears of a child being taken dutifully forward because it is a part of who we are. But it isn’t until adulthood where we have the maturity to analyse and understand our emotions that it begins to confront us harder. So we are no longer able to stick our heads under the pillow any more and need to truly see within our hearts the ‘why’ and break free from a lifelong journey and finally touch something wonderful. That love and happiness that always seems to be missing in our lives, and always searched for, that has been waiting for this moment to set us free <3

    1. Thank you Alice, our life is like an ‘Alice In Wonderland’ at times, but each step always builds that self love 😀
      May your journey ‘down the rabbit hole’ be as adventurous and healing to find that love within <3

  2. What a superb post. I know that unconditional love is what we came here to learn. We are not as judged as we imagine we are by all that is and when we project that judgement out due to ignorance we cannot be aware of we get the same back. I am learning all the time I dont know what really goes on in another’s heart and soul. I have judged and myself especially.

    1. Yes we are a very judgemental lot, but only through those paths we have already trodden. But thankfully as we find those fears inside us they show us a very magical thing…understanding, and in doing so it creates those other two magical things, empathy and compassion …and within those the secret of the universe, that unconditional love we have sought all our lives.
      And having seen these things I now also know that we cannot have ‘unconditional’ unless we have ‘conditional’ first (hence the judgemental to understand non judgemental), which because of what we have endured will give us an appreciation of what we have gone through, and now what we are becoming.
      Thank you for sharing my friend, may your darkness be that ‘conditional’ to find and appreciate your ‘unconditional’ light <3

  3. Love the picture! Compassion for oneself is so important and enables us to have deeper compassion for others. So many project their issues and insecurities onto others.

    1. Thank you Kitt, I thought I had better identify the speaker instead of this voice in the wilderness 😀
      And it is experiencing and understanding our own fears that we can ‘see’ them in others, and because of what we have endured in that understanding we can then give that compassion and love to ourselves, which in turn will give out what we have become. We always give out what we are…if we are fearful then this is what we give out, if we are happy, this is what we give out. The journey is to first find that love and happiness within ourselves by facing those fears that keep those at bay, and in facing and understanding them they lose their power over us, and we begin to release them and change into that love and happiness that those fears had kept away 😀
      Thank you for sharing kind lady, may your journey be an understanding of that love within <3

  4. Wow, Mark. You have been on an amazing journey, and I thank you for sharing it with all of us. Compassion is something we need to show and teach our children about. Maybe it isn’t something you can teach, but it certainly is something you can show, and the world would be better off if more could feel and show it.

    1. Most certainly Michele, our world has been so focused on the dollar that both parents are no longer home because it is financially difficult to ‘live’ without both incomes leading to that ’emotional isolation’ that it brings. And the stress that those working parents are under have made it more and more difficult to ‘give’ from a place that is constantly drained. Our world needs a re-design. And if they only realised the actual cost of running it this way they would turn it around immediately…money talks apparently…until they realise, in the end, it doesn’t really matter at all 😀
      The cost in to the community, let alone the upward effect to a country in the whole from children being emotionally stunted leads to crime and drugs at the deeper end to a range of emotionally distorted relationships that are then passed on to their children, compounded what went before. To the point that ‘life’ becomes cheaper and cheaper because the ability to show compassion is constantly being compromised.
      I do hope that by being that love that we eventually find in our lives gives a little hope to those coming through behind us, a light at the end of a long dark tunnel of life, a ‘spark’ to build our faith from 😀
      Thank you for sharing Michele, your spark is shining well <3

  5. Mark, this I can say with great assuredness. My Compassion aspect of myself has increased by leaps and bounds. What you said about conceptual knowledge needing real physical experience in order to understand it is true. That is why we are here as we are remembering we are but Love. I know I read this post somewhere else but it was an excellent read the second time around. Thank you for putting yourself “out there” with your Heart and your kindness. Much Love to you! ?

    1. Thank you Amy. It is the guest post I did on Barbara’s website a few weeks ago (the link is in my last post). And it is a bit long but it needed to be fully explained (as best I could 😀 ) so that it could be understood 😀
      And you are becoming more compassionate because of all you have been through my friend, these things can never leave you untouched because of the beauty you have within you, they are the sign posts of what went before, and the self love you are creating in its understanding. Each time you are faced with looking within and realising the things that hold us back, we become clearer because of those understandings, and let them go. You are in that ‘washing machine’ stage of the clearing, still very painful and emotionally testing but slowly re-arranging the load so that it becomes more clear and beautiful, and a so much nicer feeling within 😀
      Just be gentle with your heart, she is scrambling with so much input, and asking you to just take your time. You are so worth it my friend. Much love to you also, for the courage of your journey <3

      1. Yiveh! Washing machine! GROAN! You just reminded me of two things … I don’t like being in the washing machine and I have a load in right now that needs to go in the dryer. LOL And YOU got me to laugh! How about that!! Hmmmm …. Things are definitely looking up! And yeah, I am worth every effort I put into me. Mark, I came from a beginning without a clue what Love was and was taught I was a nothing. Look at me today. I am so proud of my progress and seeing it, makes me just want ALL I can be and more! So much was taken from me as a child. I’m taking it all back, dear friend, and so much more at that! Much Love to you this day!! ☺️

        1. That smile is the beginning of becoming your truth Amy. After all you’ve been through it would feel like a sliver of light opening and shining through the long darkness 😀
          And sorry about the washing machine reminder, but it was a good analogy 😀
          You have been on a long journey my friend, especially in finding who you really are after being in a place that must have felt very emotionally volatile. We lock in our ‘way of being’ (read fears), by 7 or 8 years old and then spend the rest of our lives trying to understand what happened. You are breaking a big cycle Amy, and finally seeing the truth of what you really are inside.
          Much love to you my friend, you are coming to the mountain peak, and the views most certainly change from here on in. They become more peaceful, grander and appreciated on a level like no other.
          Big hugs and just take your time to understand what has happened recently. You’ve had a lifetime of entrenchment so give yourself at least a year or two to rearrange your heart, she has had a battering.
          Maybe a walk and a photo or two will bring your spirit forward a little more openly so that you can share from your discovery of this new way of being <3 😀

  6. This is such a beautifully written post Mark.. I was nodding my head through each paragraph in what you had to say.. I get told off many times by those who do not see the ‘Bigger Picture’ as to why we should hold compassion, even for those who at first glance may seem to be the last who should need it.. For within many violent acts it would appear they held no compassion at all for their victims.. Yet we do not see the whole..

    I hope Amy comes over to read your words Mark, I am sure they are just what she needs to read..
    And what a wonderful state to travel to, when one GIVES of themselves in such a way to hold someone with so much compassion and love one finds themselves transcending this realm.. Just wonderful

    Wishing you a perfect day Mark.. Now I have more knitting to be completed.. lol.. 🙂
    Take care..
    Sue 🙂

    1. It was an amazing experience Sue, something that I will never forget. And because of it I was shown just how much is ‘below’ what we can see and perfectly designed for when we are ready to look at it within ourselves. And each time I ‘see’ someone going through something and in great pain emotionally, and because I can understand their path, I can guide them to find the cause of their turmoil and begin that understanding so that they can truly find themselves and break free. And my judgement has gone out the door, simply because I ‘know’ everyone has their fears, and it is the driver of all that we do. We don’t even realise it is just sitting in the background, after so many years of hanging on to them, ready to react because it has become second nature to us. Always on guard to block the pain that they bring up in our life. Even a murder is a reaction to those fears or why else would they do it. But because they are in fear and afraid, or even from lacking compassion, is built on those very fears. No compassion is a dead giveaway of a wall, and a very deep one.
      I did this as a guest post initially over at Barbera’s site and wanted to share it here so I decided to put it up. It can have little bits of help even when it is re-read, it does have a fair bit to take in because of what it covers.
      And yes, Amy is going through that ‘dark night of the soul’ that really tests our hearts and makes us look deep within. And going through those many emotions while dealing with it can range from numbness, anger, feeling lost, rejection…until finally an acceptance of what has happened. And it does take some time to slowly reach that place. Time is a healer or else if we got it all at once we would be in much more turmoil trying to handle such an impact.
      Thank you for your wishes Sue, and sharing your heart as you always do. May your knitting be the warmth for your new season, in heart and mind <3 😀

      1. Thank you Mark.. So loved your indepth reply.. And your words of wisdom here I am sure will help many who read your words..
        I often think we go through such emotions, just so that we can help others..
        And thank you Mark.. My knitting is progressing well, and will keep me warm in the winter months ahead 🙂 as your words warm many a heart that will take comfort when reading them..
        Enjoy your weekend
        Blessings Sue 🙂 <3

        1. My pleasure Sue. And we have finally has some very nice rain here, it has rained constantly for two days straight. Time for some nice green new growth, in heart and mind 😀
          Have a great weekend too, with your winter paying you a visit, may your sun keep you warm also 😀

    1. My pleasure Moushmi, it touches us all in many different ways because it means so many different things to us all because of our experiences.
      But within it all is the love we hold for ourselves and others, that compassion that has grown from within as we go through life and finally remove those fears that drive us. To finally become that unconditional heart from understanding and releasing those conditional walls that hold us back <3

  7. Mark, nice to see your smiling face. Thank you for adding your photo. I have tears streaming down my face, just thought you should know. Not because I am sad, but because your post was so very moving to me. I actually read it twice and felt the love that you poured into it. How blessed I feel that we’ve connected. Keep shining my friend.

    1. Many thanks Misifusa. I had originally posted this on Barbara’s site and decided to put it up here for any that may have missed it 😀
      And a photo as most people have only ‘heard’ the voice in the wilderness so I thought I had better complete the journey by ‘tagging’ it with my face 😀
      It is written with a great love Misifusa as that is how it was shown to me. And like you, it left me in tears and a wonder unlike anything I have ever felt. For weeks after it I was in such an incredible state of being, floating along and just smiling at everyone and everything. The world had become new…another place from what I had known until that time, to never be the same again. In fact it reminded me of a girl who was spiritually really ‘out there’ from an experience she had had. I thought she must have been on something because of what she was saying. But I realise now that as I had only been ‘touched’ very gently, and in my human form I realised that I couldn’t handle any more because I would have had to ‘let go’ of my body, that connection that is us. And as I realised that I came back into my body.
      It is a very big and beautiful journey down here, even though at times it must be a horror to many of us at different times in our lives…but underneath it all is something wonderful, an indescribable pulse within us all to find that unconditional place by giving us the conditional that those fears are. Like all else in this world they cannot be understood unless both sides of the coin is experiences so that we can fully understand what they mean to us and others. Compassion is built on the understanding that this brings.
      Many thanks for sharing Misifusa, may your journey show you that love that is gently waiting for that understanding, in the beauty that is your life <3 😀

      1. Mark, I am so touched by your story and by the infinite kindness in which you connect with all of us in the world. You are truly special and I am grateful for our connection ♥

        1. Thank you kind lady, and it is my pleasure also to find another who has ‘touched’ that place within. It is a confirmation and further compassion in that understanding of ourselves and the self love we strive for <3

  8. ” it came knocking to see if I was listening “. That is brilliant. So many of us close our ears to the “knocking ” without realizing that, that is our salvation.

    1. Thank you Pam. And I think the ‘blockage’ is to show us one side of life, so that we would really appreciate the good side when we found it. May your salvation be with ‘open’ ears 😀

    1. My pleasure Val. I told Barbara I would post it here after it had a while at her ‘guest’ spot on her site 😀
      A bit long but needed so that its ‘direction’ could be seen, I hope it was a good read 😀

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