Decided to dance a little deeper in life, and wow can spirit dance!

Sunrise

He Took It All!

I have never in my life ‘projected’ any sort of religion or belief around except my own ‘belief’ of what I feel is there. In fact, in my early years I confidently rejected one and all religions in any form. But Spirit has rocked up and I have slowly through my life realised the importance of that journey so I now project the healing that this gives but never going beyond that…until recently. I have had another quite profound ‘touch’ by God/Spirit to show me something. And the foundations of what I believe are becoming quite fragile. You cannot be touched by something like this and not be moved.

Now I’m still trying to understand this but in my last post ‘Life’ I explained the pain of having all love removed from me and the terror of that feeling. It is the blocking we all do on a much smaller scale in our day to day life by our fears and how we face them and the love that it blocks in blocking those fears. But in that moment on my kitchen floor when all that love was removed from me and the terror of that feeling was upon me, it left me desolate. And I mean desolate it was just that painful.

Well God/Spirit a few nights ago came to me again and said…’What you felt, Jesus took in on himself on the cross…but that time was for all!’.

I can’t stop crying each time I think of it. I know you can’t fully understand because you haven’t had that ‘love’ removed to such a degree…but let me put it this way. When you are in the middle of a divorce or the loss of a loved one, imagine multiplying that loss of love by the millions and taking it all into yourself like a empath, feeling every little nuance from all around. It is only when you ‘feel’ and understand the pain of all those emotions that you are set free and become that ‘unconditional’ love.

I think He’s now very free…and I thank God if I never have to feel that ever again ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½

Previous

Life!

Next

Another Life!

52 Comments

  1. Dear Mark I appreciate your sharing with all of us for it happens often that after I read one of your posts, I feel your words, your feelings and the profoundness of it all. Your loving heart shines through in such a healing and magical way. I am always changed from each reading and interaction and I feel very blessed to have your friendship and kindness in my life. Thank you for being you xo

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you kind lady, it is indeed a magical journey. And I think that is its whole point, I had asked God what purpose was there in this world with all its pain and hurt. I was in the middle of a divorce, the uproar and emotional upheaval was the beginning of that dark tunnel, and I dared to ask my purpose. So He showed me, and I could do no other than express what I discovered as I did. And dear lady, beneath all this mayhem is indeed something wonderful. It took much plodding along the path to even see something I could remotely say was ‘different’ for many years, but it wasn’t until I looked within instead of ‘wanting’ everything out there that it all began to change. And slowly an appreciation of that pain took hold, it was talking to me and asking me to look at me instead of just pointing my finger at everything else. And the rest was a slow understanding that yes, it is painful…but it also delivers something very heartfelt. It finds us, the true us we had covered over in our fear in that childs heart so many years ago…and slowly asked us to find it again. In that very act an appreciation of just what love is, is found…as are we. Thank you beautiful lady, you also were a part of that journey. The horse lady with many animals around you was a peaceful place to visit…often…to bring a smile on those days where one didn’t live. So I thank you too, even as you went through your hard journey, your gift in just being you is a blessing indeed too xo πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • I have tears in my eyes for the kindness you have shown me Mark. I have appreciated our connection consistently and the wisdom you bring to my being is amazing. Always a smile and a deep feeling of kindness, love and light come from our writings to and fro. I’m so sorry for your divorce. Having been through the same, I understand. We learn. We grow. We find ourselves again slowly through the process of healing. God bless. Stay centered. Be you – in all your infinite beauty. We are blessed. xo

        • Mark Lanesbury

          We are blessed indeed kind lady, and thank you for sharing those blessings in this journey xo ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  2. This is so beautiful, Mark. True love is freeing! And the only real and liberating love I have ever felt was from God. I was at rock bottom and I cry to think of the overwhelming lifesaving net of love and hope he caught me with. Bless you my friend. You’re such an inspiration! Peace, love, and hugs in Christ. β€οΈπŸ€—

    • Mark Lanesbury

      It was the most powerful event I have ever touched, as He ‘touched’ me. I was not truly ‘seeing’ exactly what we have down here. We just ‘do’ another day, one after the other, not realising that what we have here in ‘life’ is a gift beyond words. When He took my ‘life’ away it was the most terrible experience, to touch something so devoid of love was such a shock. It allowed me to see that we do indeed have a very profound place to see and feel that love within us. Yes, it is hard, but underneath it all is something beyond words. Something created to allow us to find that love He wants for us all. We must first go through those hard conditions in life to discover the empathy, love and compassion that we are creating as we go through it all. Without this journey we are just living and going nowhere. It is designed so perfectly that in finally understanding it, it shines like a light, a very loving one to set us free and understand what unconditional really is…the birth from those conditions we all travel through. It’s like getting a tooth pulled, it is very painful for quite a long time until we get the courage to see the dentist. A short painful extraction…but the relief and peace in the end is just wonderful. So is our journey, we will endure its pain until we can bear it no longer and face what we need to…and come out the other side finally understanding that pain and being set free in the very understanding of it. Fear is only not understanding something, once we see what truly built it, it loses its power over us. Love and light to you also dear lady, may your heart find its peace also ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • Your words are touching, heartfelt, and beautiful. β€οΈπŸ’›πŸ’š

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Words are so powerful. He but spoke six words to me… ‘I am the giver of life’ …and they will echo with me forever. And my words are built and given by the love given me dear lady…unconditionally πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

          • Just beautiful my friend. ❀️ he saved me. Literally. And your words hit straight to my heart again. Unconditional love~what a gift. β€οΈπŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ€—πŸ™πŸ»

  3. When you become so empty so bereft, so alone in your inner pain… As you become that empty vessel… As you see all that IS…. When you release, and Let Go… Only then can we Let back in what was surrounding us all along..
    And yet we were so full of ourselves.. We never realised it was walking by our side all along just waiting for us to allow Unconditional Love to Enter our Hearts..

    Beautiful words Mark…
    Happy to once again be reading them..
    Sending Love and Blessings my friend.. ❀️ Sue ❀️

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you dear lady, it did indeed make me look up and see what had always been there. Even for me I thought I had a good handle on ‘life’ but the night that He took it away it was the most horrible thing I ever want to touch ever again. If there is a hell, that was it. I cannot put words to something that just isn’t in our vocabulary. And then be told Jesus took it all in upon Himself just staggers the mind. I thought I had died, and I don’t just mean die to breathing and living down here, it was way beyond anything I can even compare it to. But you are very right in that right now I have an appreciation like nothing else for what we do have here, virus or not there is a beauty entwined and moving within us that is incredible in its complexity but simple touch all around us. May it never end, trust me, it isn’t something you even want to touch in curiosity.
      Love and light to you also Sue, I do hope your family is all well after your journey too, these things do come along to show us an appreciation of what we do have indeed ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • Your experience something else Mark…. I am so pleased how ever you emerged stronger and more enlightened for it… But something I wouldn’t wish to experience…. And thank you… Mending slowly….. Love and well wishes returned dear Mark ❀️

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Seems to be a lot of this ‘mending slowly’ going around dear lady, much love to you all πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  4. Beautiful blog

    • Mark Lanesbury

      I found you in the spam folder, machines have become judge, jury and executioner. But thank you for sharing πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • Please read my post

        • Mark Lanesbury

          I have in fact read and ‘liked’ a post in my wander over your way. Your site says I ‘liked’ it but isn’t showing up my icon. There has been many problems with sites where many people are literally not able to comment as the sites are blocking for some reason. My site has had a lot of people not being able to comment on my site either.

  5. Oh wow, Mark!! When I read what you wrote everything around me seemed to stop. To imagine taking upon himself all that pain of all people upon that cross, is a darkness I do not ever ever wish to experience. What a powerful insight and what an empowering connection to your experience. I’ve told you I’ve had NDE’s but only felt love, not lack of. But. Between that conversation and one I had with my neighbor, I admitted in completely falling over the cliff and not caring if I lived or died. In fact, I would have preferred death then feeling the crushing loss of so many I love one right after the other. I broke. Completely. I let go completely. And I didn’t care where I landed or if I ever would. In loosing everything with this experience, I gained life to such a depth I to this day am still unable to form words to describe. I am totally changed. I feel different yet I don’t know of what or why. Just yesterday as I was sun gazing I became connected to ALL around me feeling such a magnitude of power that I knew YES this is me! Can you imagine what Jesus must have felt when he resurrected? I’m beginning to and I know you are too. What an amazing journey! Keep on viewing the photographs that I will be posting for in them you will find you. Mark! We’ve both been transformed into something I still am not sure about. I just know. Powerful things are happening!! Just powerful!! OH I am walking away from this post soooo moved!!! Much love to you! xo

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Dear lady, your words are everything I’ve been trying to articulate these last few months. It touches you in such a profound way that nothing is ever the same again. And to realise that below all of this is something so powerful and amazing to just leave you with mouth open, stunned to be a part of something that you can barely put words to. And yes, there is nothing you can do within it but to let go and accept what is being shown. In my case, yes, it tore me to shreds but with that understanding of Jesus it made me realise that this journey here has been made possible by that great sacrifice. I can still barely think of it without the tears flowing so freely and not embarrassed to do so.
      I think, as this is so early in this understanding, that all before me is truly another path. Time to really listen, by letting go and really get out of my own way. This part of the equation will not allow anything but that realisation I have, like you, been given a gift. Something that can do no other than open that love we have always searched for dear lady, and let His light shine where it may ❀️
      Thank you Amy, for sharing something that you understand was a great gift, and even now you have stood in it with the love that it gave. Enjoy those photos, but beyond that, the gift to see what is really there. Love and light to you also my friend, let it shine with an understanding smile xox πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • Mark, will answer tomorrow. I hit the wall today. Still dealing with exhaustion from all I’e been through. xoxoxo

        • Mark Lanesbury

          That’s ok dear lady, just go with the flow πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • Jesus is one of my Teachers, probably my main one. He is teaching me to live as he lived. Believe me, I am humbled and thrilled that my heart is open to him. I’ve always had a special relationship with him all of my life and it has nothing to do with religion.
        Present day ….. not sure of where I am or what to do. Today for example after hitting the wall yesterday, I feel like a kid with so much to choose from …. what do I do? I have this gift of a day ahead of me and OK(!) which direction do I go? Walk comes to mind and of course I have many flowers to capture and since my cats are content and quiet today that gives me more me time. I do not know where I am heading and it matters not for that will take care of itself as it unfolds gently and passionately within and without me. Yes oh yes listen I do ….. and the excitement and optimism I feel bubbling up is like French champagne. I am standing strong in my convictions, my truth, and as truth and love prevail in this world, which it is, my world and this world will finally merge as ONE.
        I will close with a short story to exemplify the space I find myself in. Yesterday I saw a Red tail Hawk perched on a pole about 2 houses away. I began to talk to this bird looking at him as I did, inviting him to our property for you see we have an overabundance of mice and rabbits. I offered our property to this bird as a food source but I told him there is one rule. NO birds. Birds are off limits. That hawk after I finished talking flew directly towards me, low and I mean low, and when he arrived to where I was standing, hovered in the air, looking down at me and I knew he was saying thank you. I stood there with my mouth open. My connection to Mother is getting so strong that birds of prey are understanding me AND without fear coming near me. Amazing!! My energy is changing, Mark, and even though I don’t understand fully yet, I am SEEING the ramifications of that change. Just wow!!! xo

        • Mark Lanesbury

          You have had a life of being one way dear lady and when the change comes through, you have had a lifetime of ‘habits’ to let go. As you so wisely said, just go with the flow, they will ‘feel’ wrong and you will slowly ‘be’ what you are becoming. I think my biggest hurdle is I have had a lifetime of ‘no religion’ and settled into the ‘new age’ view and locked in, but the more Spirit tapped me on the shoulder with so many things it has slowly changed my outlook because of so many things that I have been shown. But when God taps you on the shoulder and sits you on your ‘ass’ and shows you something so profound you can no longer deny His existence, all of those foundational things I believed got knocked out from under me. Don’t get me wrong, I ‘knew’ He was there but I have this ‘father’ thing that just said…ok, your there, but I’m busy doing spiritual things…and practically ignored Him, even though He is that spiritual side of everything I do as well. Ah, the human being is a wonderful thing, we can be so many things and we haven’t even got out of bed yet as far as life goes πŸ˜‚ 🀣
          And a big yes to nature, when we change they ‘know’ it, they can sense the change and that we are no longer a danger to them. I have a bird, a magpie with a piece of string tangling around his foot that I am feeding and have him almost to my hand. If I can just get him a little closer I can untangle the poor thing as it is blocking the flow in his foot and he has begun to limp. And I keep getting ‘horses’ in my head and everywhere I go there are horses bobbing up all over the place. A close friend rang me two days ago to let me know her mare has had a foal and sent me pictures of this beautiful creation and shared the journey. Like you, it is a wonder to now ‘see’ so many things that before were blinded by ‘this world’ and its fears. It will go where it may dear lady, it has a purpose to teach us…and somehow I think we may have passed our test and the teacher has shared His apple with us afterwards xox πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸ˜‚ 🀣

          • Oh I do pray you can get that Magpie to let you undo that string, Mark. As for the horses, listen to your heart as where to place your feet and what to do.
            I’ve had a rough couple of days. I’ve been thrust into the valley where there I’ve had to again let go and just to flow. It’s just so hard for me to say goodbye and as you well know, it has not let up for me. I am getting back into flowers and birds and sky and ground. I communicate with God the most through Mother and Jesus, well, he is my main Teacher as is Life itself. Sending you much love!! xo

            • Mark Lanesbury

              It has been a rough time dear lady, we are going through these to allow us to see. Yes, they are the hardest things we can imagine but along the way is also the most beautiful in discovering who we are. Keep to the nature, she always speaks and nurtures your heart at this time, and your gift of photography with her will keep your courage high. Much love returned also Amy, as He will send too xox πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

              • Mark, my next post coming includes words in poetic form describing some of what I have recently been through. I receive healing, strength, courage, and love from both Mother and God. Just came in from crawling on a frozen ground just for you, and of course others who will see like you. Hope your day is going well!!! xo

              • Mark Lanesbury

                Going beautifully dear lady, and thank you. I’m looking forward to photo’s designed from frozen fingers, knee’s and a breath like the ‘Mists of Avalon’ from God’s country xox πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸ˜‚ 🀣

              • You made me laugh!! LOL Go stick your head in your freezer for a while and you tell me how warm you stay. Teehee …..

              • Mark Lanesbury

                We are starting to lose our heat over here and you lovely people (eventually), will go play in the spring sunshine dear lady. And I am so thankful that we don’t actually even get a frost on the ground at the coast so our average temperature in winter is just 14C. So I do appreciate your treasures as I know it took a great deal to get them. I take a bow to a heartfelt job well done Amy, thank you! xox πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  6. Mark, this post gave me shivers but not only because of the depth of the message. When I was reading your second paragraph I thought, that sounds like what Jesus must have felt and experienced. He had to leave everything behind and lose completely everything. Even his faith and all the love that was attached to it in order to set his spirit completely free. And in the next paragraph you wrote it. Wow! Still shivers. I always get shivers when deep truth radiates. Amazing, Mark!

    • Mark Lanesbury

      It was the most desolate, and I don’t use that word lightly, feeling to go through Erika. I’ve touched many things, as we all do, but that was in a league of its own. It was a bit hard to decipher at first because I was so stunned by what happened, especially the ‘touch’ on top of it. But the feelings that came with it were…our actions from our fears are those ‘sins’ that block our love. While ever we do things against or blocking that love is when we do or say negative or bad things and keep us from that love. It was like He took on all of what we do. When that love was gone from me all I could feel was all my fears come rushing up to devour me (times a thousand compared to our normal worrying) , it was something I hope to never touch again, it was terrible. And yes dear lady, it has left me in quite a state. Each time I think of it, it leaves me in tears. And to be truthful nothing is the same anymore. I’ve let go so much stuff that the day to day mind was always ‘worrying’ over. The ego is a noisy thing but it does have its purpose to make us question and find those fearful parts and break through them. We are built with it so it isn’t just a ‘left over’ but I think the actual thing that gives us our freedom to make decisions and then feel and test their truth within. We just weaken ‘occasionally’ and go the easy way instead of the love way. Fear does that.
      Thank you for sharing my friend, there was a lot more came through and I think there are a few posts still waiting in the wings. With love and light ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • That’s so right, and while reading your reply I thought the same. We fall into our “thinking or defending routines” when it comes to the ego. It is such a reflex which we only notice when it already happened. Still so much to let go on my side… so much. It is so important that you share this. Because although it scares the soul out of you it encourages since we see that you are still there. And actually, there is more you there than ever before. A deep cleansing experience. Thank you from my heart, Mark πŸ’–

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Somehow I don’t think we ever finish being ‘taught’ down here Erika, there is a lot of territory to cover. And yes, Spirit/God (there is another post in this Spirit/God thing that I have too. Still contemplating its meaning to me), did ask me to share so that others can feel the beauty behind it all, even though some takes us places we’d rather not…but those take some wrenching sometimes as we do lock our fears in quite solidly. I must have had some super glue in my youth πŸ˜€ But as you said, it is a cleansing like nothing else. Thank you for sharing dear lady, it is part of that cleansing process to share, be it from or to me ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸ˜‚ 🀣

          • I think with every time of discovering a piece that needs to be dropped I see even clearer how much more there might wait to be removed and let go. No, it will not be done in this incarnation and will need quite a few more … but it doesn’t matter. It is such an adventure (not always fun of course but amazing anyway). I agree, sharing is important for those who read and for the one who shares… yes, fully agree!!

  7. Thank you Mark for sharing your journey. I feel the pain … and the awakening to love. Connecting to Source is the most wonderful part of the journey. You are not seperate after all πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ’•

    • Mark Lanesbury

      In the beginning it is something we all take for granted I think, but that is because we don’t ‘know’ any better. Being on this conditional world leaves us feeling isolated from that source and asks us to seek out that ‘feeling’ of disconnection, that being unloved and unhappy. This life is a teaching ground to find it, find us and realise what we are a part of…something wonderful. Thank you for sharing kind lady, may your journey find you too ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹
      P.S. Still can’t comment at your site…ah, one day…but I’m still enjoying the posts πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  8. He always walks beside you.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      And what a walk Pam! I keep feeling that absolute pain of that loss of love and seeing Him taking it all in for us. Now that is unconditional love ❀️
      Thank you for sharing dear lady, may it be your walk too ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  9. It is a definite learning curve, as you say. And I have felt β€œno longer as I was” as well. And at the same time more myself than ever before. Emptying everything out from our lives, and what remains is the revealing our true nature. Thank you, again! πŸ’•

  10. Again, you have articulated this all so well. I also had a remarkably similar experience (after my near death experience). Different, yes, but at its core, I feel it quite similar. I think you’re amazing and that you are heading somewhere quite special in your life. Thank you for sharing and blessings to you πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ’•

    • Mark Lanesbury

      It is indeed an amazing experience dear lady, it has moved me so profoundly that I have released nearly all that I am. Almost like I am here in my body…but no longer as I was. A learning curve if you will, like being dropped onto a deserted island and just told to ‘live life’ without all the modern world and its bits. And I am glad to hear your, and others, of their journeys into ‘another place’, it gives heart to begin afresh and know there is more to life. And also thank you for your blessings kind lady, they are appreciated and returned in kind ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

      • A quick aside, I tried to leave a comment on your About page. Not sure if it posted! Might go back and re-write. If I end up sending twice, oops and sorry in advance 😁

        • Mark Lanesbury

          Your ‘like’ came up but I didn’t get any comments. That is unusual that you can comment here but not there. Usually it blocks totally. Many people are having trouble with it and I’ve pulled it apart quite a few times and the only thing I can find is…I get blocked from commenting on other sites (up to about 15 now), and sometimes if I log out and back in it will allow a comment at another site but that is few and far between. And quite a few others have had the same trouble commenting here. The ‘like’ seems to be fine. And I also found that if I tried to re-comment after it disappears into the ‘ethers’ it always says it already has that comment and blocks it. So it must be ‘there somewhere’ because wordpress can see it. I’m beginning to think my deodorant isn’t acceptable πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸ˜‚ 🀣

  11. What an experience! I’m glad it’s behind you.

    Part of the process of my Kundalini awakening over the past four years was a period of several months when I felt completely disconnected from not only love, but from my identity. The thread of my essence as I know and recognize myself was temporarily fractured. And the pain of this was excruciating, lingering for months. These days I feel a much less intense version of this from time to time. Still not fun to feel, but tolerable.

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you kind lady, it is so very fresh and raw so it is good to hear others have trod this path. I’m still trying to come to terms with the shock of that ‘touch’ and all that it meant. The foundations have really taken a shaking and I think like you I find myself disjointed or separated somewhat at different times. And all this on top of reacting to the medicine which keeps me quite ill is stretching me in so many directions that it becomes even more difficult to just function every day. My heart goes out to you dear lady, and a wish that it all settles as it may to leave us with the healing that only that inner love can give ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  12. So true Mark. Until we have gone through that dark tunnel and have felt the pain we cannot know unconditional love. And like you have said, “Are set free and become unconditional love.” Painful yes, but a beautiful journey you are on. Safe travels my friend. xo

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you Michele, it has touched so many places and at the moment very quickly. But I suppose that is what change is all about, stepping through that last piece of the cocoon to finally be free I suppose.
      And thank you for your blessings kind lady, and they are returned in kind. May the love and light also keep you safe xo πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

Leave a Reply

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén

%d bloggers like this: