It is an interesting thing that fear we hold, and for something that controls so much of our lives it is something just built from a child. For all those inner walls that we build ‘back then’ are only a lack of understanding. Seriously, once you understand it or anything for that matter, it loses its fear for you.
Try it. You get one of those furniture packs…a simple chair for instance…it frustrates you, it can be so difficult to put together, but you understand that ‘this goes with that’ etc. We can get more serious with say a cupboard pack, it tests us a bit more and we can get a bit testy with this one and it will take a bit longer, a weekend or two to understand its ‘five easy steps’….but we understand that it is a beginning and an end. And we will do it, and also because if we read the fine print it says…’This product has been very carefully put together for your enjoyment!’. Hey, what more could we want 😀
But people, wow, they are the hardest to understand. There is a beginning but which bits go where. How can someone think like that, hurt like that, attack like that? Are they seriously wanting me to do that. I can’t relate to all these button pushing, mind wrenching, heart crunching creatures that project themselves in everything that they do.
Hey, I’m glad I don’t do that…I’m just an ordinary me!
But they too we understand eventually, and mostly accept them for all their quirks even though we avoid one or two just to be safe.
But us…yes us. What is it that we don’t understand about ourselves? Never seem to go beyond that fear that lurks at every corner, on guard for its tentacles that seem to appear out of nowhere.
I’ll give you a hint…that child that felt terrified by the way it was treated, that rejection, the pain of not being loved…didn’t know what to do. Could only realise that it must be them, something wrong with who they are…and in that time could only face it by not facing it, covering it over so its pain would no longer hurt so badly and slowly grow into that covering. Not wanting anyone to see that they have this ‘thing’ wrong with them, become someone else than what they truly are, a mask for the world so it cannot see what is underneath even as it too pokes and prods that tenderness that always seems to be in great pain.
And we do it so well that eventually we ‘mask’ like its second nature and even believe that is now us. But we now don’t know why we do this, we have done this living so well of forgetting and denying that hurt that it is now just the actions that we are fearful of. The ‘why’ is barely remembered, if at all.
This is your furniture pack.
Yes, it’s frustrating. And yes, many the time I’ve thrown the screwdriver away in disgust. But the instructions said it was so easy. Five stupid steps and it was done!
Ok, I’ve taken a deep breath, picked up my screwdriver, thrown the 4lb hammer away so that I ‘don’t’ use it instead, and attempt number 25 of reading those five easy steps. Trust me, if you do persevere, do believe in yourself, do think that you can do this…you will. And yes, it does say at step one to undo the strapping first…in our case the emotional ones that bind it. So now you ‘can’ use the screwdriver properly, just take your time. You have your whole life to achieve something wonderful. You know that moment, the one where you tighten the last screw and stand back and finally see it all put together like the magic packs that they are. (ok, I had a yellow bit once where it should have been red 😂).
And you will…if you face it. Inside that wall is the answer, and you don’t need a 4lb hammer either. Tucked into your instructions is a line that says ‘believe in who you are’, and that you can do this…because you can…900 billion people before you have done this. Yes, they sometimes scream, sometimes they do crazy things. But IT IS THERE waiting for you to look, ask yourself why these same painful things always happen in all those relationships, and finally take that step of asking your heart why it cries itself to sleep, hides when those horrible situations arrive or face what it thinks is that place of pain. For in there is the answer, waiting for you to ask it THAT question.
Why do these people make me truly feel so hurt? Why do I react this way? And yes, the answer is in why ‘I’ feel this way, what ‘they’ do is actually done with great love (even though they may not be aware of that), so that you can ‘see’ why…in the ‘I’. When you do finally see it truly, it will leave you speechless because it is all done exactly as is needed for you to find that truth, that love and happiness you have always looked for.
Yes, in there is your freedom, and believe me it is much more than admiring your handiwork after a ‘furniture-pack’ episode. It will give you a love beyond words, finally a total acceptance of what and who you are. This one won’t bite you, hurt you or even think anything odd…because this one is unconditional, you have finally understood it and you can put your emotional screwdriver down forever…your free 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋