Decided to dance a little deeper in life, and wow can spirit dance!

Sunrise

The Last Day!

A reply to Erika’s post at What if…I only had one day left!
I began to write a reply Erika but spirit ‘touched’ my heart to see something that this moment ‘What if…I only had one day left’ would bring…….

Slowly I touched those many things that I thought mattered. Slowly I released each one as they were accepted as what I had achieved, arrived at or were even created.

But at the end, after touching these things, only one thing remained. An acceptance of myself. Yes, I wanted to live…especially after truly realising what ‘life’ really was and could now appreciate it all the more because of that. But I have no control of when or even how I leave this world except by living it consciously with the love I have discovered in living this life.

So what is left…just me. And it is an unusual thing to not ‘attach’ to something in this world as we usually do. And it is then that I feel a very profound moment…I have always been a part of ‘everything’. This sudden ‘let go’ of ‘here’ is that moment of change, that creating a vacuum to allow something else to come forth. Become something that cannot be achieved ‘as is’, but be created from it.

A new journey, a new way of being, a part of something that has been created in each journey we make. Something evolving…that love, like any love, becoming more beautiful and profound each experiencing and understanding of it within that we feel regardless of that ‘moment’ that touches it. And becoming a part of it again and again, each time more refined.

So…is this that step…into that vacuum. In fact I think it calls me as love always does. It is only this way of being, that holding on to ‘life’ that holds me here…do I dare to ‘let go’…for that is what love is…unconditional. My holding on is in fact a condition. Dare I?

I have touched that moment when I felt there was nothing left, fighting for breath when I couldn’t breathe, realising that there was nothing left but that will to live, fight for ‘life’…and it is a very profound moment. I have a few times now come to this moment where breathing becomes harder and harder and I call an ambulance, each time a little harder as any medicine used seems to struggle a little more.

Emphysema has no master.

But I do…life, and the love that creates it! ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

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21 Comments

  1. Oh my goodness Mark. May your breathing continue its steadiness and may the love that we send to you continue to heal you. When I began reading this post, I felt the ascension rising within you. The understanding of loving thyself and others grow and expand. When I read to the end, I realized that it was so much more than that…it is the encircling of a lifetime of wisdom and love that is now here for you. God bless. You are always in my prayers dear friend. πŸ’—

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you beautiful lady, the full story starts with my ‘As Above, So Below’ post and the couple after that. It has been ‘interesting’ to say the least. I am currently digesting it all and will write a post to ‘try’ to decipher all that happened. I have to admit it has seriously rocked my ‘confidence’ in many ways. There was a few lessons in there that I had been ignoring as well as a couple of further understandings that I thought I had wrapped. Not!
      I do realise that we are always taking on board so many things but this one rocked my calm little world beyond words…hence the hesitation in writing anything, simply because to understand it takes time to bring it all together. Plus I’m awaiting spirit to help me digest ‘life’. It has taken on a ‘life’ of its own. Thank you for your prayers Yvonne, gladly received from a heart that has learned how to smile πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸ˜‚ 🀣

  2. Know You are always Loved here in Texas Mark…
    more thoughts… more tangled webs, i wonder if i will ever untangle and learn to write again πŸ™‚
    Be Well My Faraway Friend..I need You, selfish yes, but then …

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you kind lady, your blessings gratefully received. And you will write as your heart desires dear mary, she is just having a rest because your love for family is taking precedence at this beautiful time. You, like us all, need some ‘you’ time to find that beating heart and its direction again. In the meantime just enjoy the beauty around you…and that pen in your heart will speak again as it wishes.
      I am currently being shown many things too my friend, and I think to shake free of an old way of being. May we both be reborn into the love that is awaiting us all πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸŽ…πŸ½ 🌹🌟 🌈 πŸ•Š ❄️ ⛄️

  3. I hope you’re here with us for a long time to come! But when we all go, I hope we have the last moment Steve Jobs supposedly had, in which he exclaimed, “Wow!” I’m not sure what he was seeing on the other side of the veil, but it sounds spectacular . . .

    • Mark Lanesbury

      I do too dear lady. Now that I have ‘seen’ life, it is a blessing beyond words. And all the harder to let go because of the beauty understood. It, like all else, is so much more appreciated when fully understood and seen in all its glory. Among the dirt and grime, smiles and laughter is something beyond words, a journey we are truly blessed with to find that love and happiness within it, the one we have always sought. May I see that returning traveler’s light too ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  4. Beautiful words Mark.. The moment you let go, of everything, and come to that realisation, then a new sense of freedom and inner-standing of knowingness sweeps into being. When you realise there are no last days…. Just New ones… πŸ™‚ filled with love and joy..

    I am hoping you are recovering my friend, gaining strength and energy outwardly as well as inwardly.. I read your reply to VK and I send you healing energy via the grid my friend…

    Know you are loved my dear friend…. And yes we often put our health in other peoples hands, when in fact we are fully in charge….
    Sending you love and well wishes Mark …. Healing and Prayers..
    πŸ’œπŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ™

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you for your love, care and blessings Sue, they are all very gratefully received. I have tried many of this earths medicine, centered on my own and now accept that this journey has shown me so much in such a short time. It has taken me to its doorstep and in doing so can now truly appreciate this ‘life’ and that it all truly guides us ever inward to that love and happiness we have always sought. Yes, many bumps, but it is those bumps that ask us to look deeper and become the very thing we seek. I’m in a limbo for a while to appreciate Christmas, family and hopefully a bit of chocolate dear lady. Thank you again for your kind words, may your Christmas be that focus on the love of family and friends. Enjoy! πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸŽ…πŸ½ 🌹🌟 🌈 πŸ•Š ❄️ ⛄️

      • Thank you Mark I hope you have a beautiful family Christmas, I am more at peace today than in a long time. I feel a huge shift occurred both within and without. Much love my friend πŸ’šπŸ™πŸ’šπŸŽ„β›„πŸ₯³

  5. Beautiful Mark. Letting go, accepting ourselves and becoming pure love that’s what it’s all about. When we realize we are all we have, acceptance of ourselves comes alive and we realize that we don’t have to hold on to anything. No one can hurt us and we don’t really care what anyone thinks. we just flow on happily feeling and spreading joy. xo

    • Lovely words Michele, we will indeed step into our hearts slowly as we realise that truth. A little trial and error as life pokes and prods us. And that inner glow only gets brighter each time in its recognition. Thank you for sharing kind lady, may that glow ever light your path πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸŽ…πŸ½ 🌹🌟 🌈 πŸ•Š ❄️ ⛄️

  6. Be over later. BUSY morning!! xo

  7. I am so glad you made a post from your comment. What caught my attention most was the part that in letting go we become unconditional, like love is. You are so right. I never thought of this. As long as we hold on to anything we are conditional, even when it seems to be positive, we are conditional. I think the hightest level of being unconditional is to simply be in an judgementalfree state. Wow, I think, I have come a long way during the years, but looking at it from a distance makes me see that I there is still a long way to go. However, our journeys take us closer in our awareness and you sharing your profound insights is supporting everybody’s journey. Blessings to your journey, dear Mark, and thank you!!

    • Mark Lanesbury

      And thank you Erika, you always trigger these amazing parts of us that have something to say. I wrote a comment at your post and suddenly, after 15 lines, realised something more was coming through so I gave it its reign to a blank page.
      I think during my recent ‘events’ that I was being allowed to share something that we would normally not approach because of its subject matter but spirit needed it to be free so that the love of its truth can show itself and the fear conquered by that ‘knowing’. So for that dear lady your heart has spoken to mine to encourage this journey and for that I am eternally grateful…for to touch this is nothing short of a miracle, a miracle to see the love that is ‘life’ in all that we do, even those parts that seem so confronting. For it is those moments that we break free of our safety and dare to hold love in another way, be a love more beautiful simply by trusting ourselves to release what went before and become what we have experienced.
      Love and light for your journey too dear lady, and a thank you…a very big, profound thank you…you have encouraged that step beyond my safety zone indeed πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸŽ…πŸ½ 🌹🌟 🌈 πŸ•Š ❄️ ⛄️

      • Although, it is a “normal” development in th eyes of the universe, I see this as a miracle too and I am always standing in awe even experiencing smaller insights. Life is a miracle in all it is, the spiritual life, the beginning of the physical part, its laws, its teachings, physical life, spiritual life, and the transition when leaving the physical life behind. A big miracle.
        I couldn’t be more humbled by your words. What more could I wish for than inspiring and even encouraging a wise and highly spiritual being like you, Mark. Thank you for taking me along on your journey πŸ’–

        • Mark Lanesbury

          My pleasure, and thank you for the same πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

  8. Ohhhh….Good one Mark! And so true on all levels. On the journey I have been on as well I have found the hardest part has been learning to accept myself, to not see myself as broken, at fault, weak or spineless. It amazes me how easy it seems to look down on oneself, berate oneself yet to love oneself, care about oneself, believe in oneself is so mightily difficult. How odd. And so the work continues on.
    So glad you were able to write this post as that tells me you are holding your own and not on hands and knees! That is progress. That gives me hope and eases my worries. I pray for you and hope soon you can go back home and resume life but in a better space. Until such time hang in there friend and know you are not alone. Sending you love and inspiration to break free…VK ❀️

    • Mark Lanesbury

      Thank you VK, I am indeed still here even though ‘breathing’ has taken a new identity. Something we all take for granted…until it is taken away. Love is like that too. I have now seen what it is to have ‘life’ removed and it does give a very great appreciation of what we do ‘down here’, a journey of love like no other.
      I came home two days ago because they have nothing else to try, I am now officially a medical football because while they can poke and prod they are putting their hearts into what they love to do…but if that list runs dry the system cannot do any more so they are lost. It was that moment that I realised that we all rely so much on the medical system to ‘fix us’ each and every time we have a wobble…but to be told ‘go home’ while still ill is a shock to my system…and a realisation that I am indeed my own miracle, simply because it is still up to me to ‘be’ what I am in doing this journey. Ill or not it is always showing me what I have become.
      Confronting…yes. But it is only in touching these things that our true realisation is found.
      And that ability to find me.
      Thank you for your lovely support dear lady, it too has shown me love from another part of that rainbow that is life…and enriched me beautifully for it πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹ πŸŽ…πŸ½ 🌹🌟 🌈 πŸ•Š ❄️ ⛄️

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