Understanding!

Mark Lanesbury

July 22, 2020

When you are younger and trying to learn to drive a car, you focus on it day in and day out. Studying the rules, practicing driving, nervous and unsure as you hit the wrong pedal or button…again. So focused on this are you that wrong turns are common place, missing the odd stop lights or pedestrian crossing, and even forgetting to put petrol in your car, engine suddenly conking out. And always on guard for that ‘other thoughtless driver’ that may crash into you. But as time goes by you get better at understanding all those rules and regulations, you can see why they are all in place, and it all becomes second nature. And as time goes by barely a thought is needed now,  as it is fully understood.

Fear is the same.

This world will give you many nervous moments as you learn to drive ‘your’ car, it will put you in many situations so that you will get better. A stop light here, a corner there. Many other drivers crowding your road who are all trying to do the same. Blocking a movement this way or that, and sometimes cutting us off. We will even forget to fill our car occasionally as we focus on so many things.

But they will all give us something that will bring about something very, very loving and powerful. They will give us understanding…of us. And because you have understood fear, you have changed it. And we too will barely give it a thought…ever again  ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

 

 

97 thoughts on “Understanding!”

    1. Thank you Cherie, it is indeed our very own steering wheel to go wherever we wish on this journey down here. And gradually we do create the courage to tackle those tougher trails and it builds an inner confidence so that what used to be an inability now becomes a open road, footloose and fancy free. May your trails find that freedom.
      Thank you for sharing 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

      Reply

        1. Then dear lady, take a bow and well done. It is a very hard journey to defeat the bullying, especially in years past and it was a lonely trail indeed. But thankfully there is more help available these days even though the insidiousness of it still lives. A heart that takes this trail will face a depth within beyond words 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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            1. Take heart Cherie, as hard as it is, it will create something inside very magical. To understand specifically in how it has all made you feel and your reaction to it…will set you totally and beautifully free of its pain so that you will no longer react to those actions. It will no longer mean anything because in that understanding it will lose its power over you 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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              1. Absolutely! I’m already there- already free. I’m a published author of 4 books, all of which have the theme of bullying and I advocate for those who are bullied today. I also have an anti-bullying blog as well. And I enjoy it all immensely! Feel free to check out my blog. I discuss the mindsets of bullies, why they bully, and what victims can do to better protect themselves against bullies.

                In trying to bring me down, my bullies only set me on my path. ❤❤❤

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                1. Then you have taken the gift that is inside us all, the ability to break through our fears and find the love and happiness we have always searched for…our own.
                  And to write and express your journey is gifting others the ability to find that place within themselves also. Again, take a bow Cherie, that is indeed a true love to share your journey 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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                1. It most certainly can motivate my friend, in that need to feel better of ourselves, and others, it does indeed bring out the best in us. A hard journey it may be but only then can we test the binding of our fears and finally free ourselves 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  3. Thanks again Mark for sharing your learned thoughts. Am overwhelmed.
    I was actually making my husband read your comments and asking him to find his cruise control. 😀 He loved your writings.
    Thanks so much from both of us.
    Take care
    Samreen

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    1. 😂 My pleasure Samreen, and I hope you both share the driving. It is a beautiful road we travel and like any road there are always many beautiful places to visit and share together.
      And may those visits within be with that cruise control and the discovery of that self love that drives it. Much love to you both 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏼 🦋

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  4. Such a great and beautiful analogy Mark and the way you explain getting into the insight is really commendable. It’s as if you have mastered the art of loving our own selves in a world where we really forget to do so. Fear is all in your mind, you have to just think and act at that one particular weakest moment and you win otherwise you are held captive by your own mind and you lose.👍
    Take care
    Regards
    Samreen

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    1. The beauty that we eventually see is that we never do lose. It is designed so perfectly that it is all a lesson. If we ever take a ‘so called’ backward step, it is to show us how we feel in taking it so that we can adjust who and what we are. And eventually that beautiful feeling within becomes more profound as we step into the inner truth that guides us.
      I have had the privilege to see beneath the waves of our journey and understand its beauty. In the beginning we just feel like we are wandering in the darkness with no purpose, but at that moment in our lives when a little light will come on, we will hesitate, ask ourselves what meaning can this have when an event or synchronicity occurs. And the beginning of a most beautiful journey will start as we, with hope and faith, dare to ask ourselves of that meaning. And because it has taken great hardship and courage to face this part of our journey, it will be such a profound discovery when our hearts finally break free of the wall of fear we had built around it…and set us free to finally touch a love beyond words…our love, the unconditional we have found by breaking through the conditions we had placed on ourselves.
      Understand that childhood fear that we carry on into adulthood, see why we had placed it there as a fearful child to try to protect ourselves, and in understanding it will lose its power over us forever. We change it in that instant of understanding and finally ‘see’ the love that built it. The most profound love that we will ever touch…is our own.
      Thank you for sharing Samreen, I hope that love is beginning to shine ❤️ 🙏🏼 🦋

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      1. I must tell you Mark, you do have such a great in depth knowledge and understanding of life, it amazes me. Such a positive attitude towards life. Even I do have but yours is much much more. Thanks for sharing your beautiful thoughts through your blogs. I will sure keep them reading. Would be my pleasure.
        Stay safe 😊
        Samreen

        Reply

        1. Thank you Samreen, it is just like this post of learning to drive a car, after a while it becomes second nature. But first we have to believe we can do it. And I do have confidence in my journey because I have found I can drive this body even better than before because I have found I have a cruise control and can relax and enjoy the ride, where before it was a struggle to be constantly aware and on guard. The more I understand me the more I understand others. But first I have to ‘see’ who I am, and in there is that love and happiness I had always looked for ‘out there’. I just needed to find my inner map 😀
          Thank you for sharing, I do hope it gives you confidence in you too 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏼 🦋

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  5. Oh wonderful I haven’t missed any new posts Mark… and yes I can access your blog ok….. I thought you had updated again since my last visit in July…. Glad I have not miss anything LOL…
    Sending thoughts your way my friend.. Know my thoughts are with you …. Stay Positive… ❤️
    Much love ❤️

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    1. Thank you kind lady, my blog seems to have calmed down even though its still clashing with Barbara 😂 🤣
      The universe is poking and nudging where it will kind lady, may it ever be so ❤️ 🙏🏼
      Much love to you also my friend, and thank you again for your help 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏼 🦋

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          1. He arrived back late as you know to eat supper, and meow to insist on going out again. He came home this morning and has hardly moved all day. So yes Mark, my guess is he was smiling 😼😉😻

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    1. Thank you kindly for your thoughts dear lady. All going well as I have all of my lovely fellow bloggers to keep me company and I suffer from a lovely lake out the front that has so much of nature in all its forms moving around on/in it. Any time a dolphin or swan goes past I smile inside and out so I am kept very happy in my domain. May your world be as blessed my friend 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏼 🦋

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        1. Yes, it is an amazing place. And I also just love the water, it is so grounding. I am at the entrance to the lake so I have miles of beaches to walk on and watch whales as well that wander past. I still haven’t seen Migaloo the albino whale yet, and apparently he has fathered an albino calf who is wandering our coastlines. Hopefully they will come to visit me, it would be quite a sight! 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏼 🦋 😂 🤣

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                1. I pray that among it all, that change that hearts bring comes to the fore dear lady. It cannot be a very nice thing to go through at all but with the energy that I feel around it, can only bring a resolve for better after a very trying time that has been rumbling for many years. Sending love and light that it brings the hope that all hold my friend 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏼 🦋

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                  1. Thank you, Mark, for the hopeful and encouraging perspective. I agree, things are coming to light that have been rumbling and kept under wraps, that needed to come to light. A spotlight is shining on everything that needs to be exposed. No more secrets. Keep sending that healing energy our way!
                    💖💖💖

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    1. Ah dear lady, doesn’t that bring back memories. I had at least a small property and some back roads so my ‘teenage race car drivers’ could drive to their hearts content before letting them loose in a city 😂 🤣
      But sometimes in the deep end can have its advantages…but not the stress that goes with it 😀
      Thank you Kristine. I suppose I shouldn’t speak, our roads are ever changing so we must be aware of the many unknowns too 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏼 🦋

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      1. Oh, you lucky duck! I was just talking to a neighbor about how her daughter – while she was in the car with her and learning how to drive – got into an accident that totaled their car in the other car. I’ll take back roads any day.

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        1. Oh poor lady, that is really going in the deep end. Thankfully my two ripped around on motorbikes, horses etc so had good reflexes by the time they went playing in the traffic 😂 🤣

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    1. Thank you Saania, it does show our journey indeed. And in hindsight I found that it is in all that we do for the very first time. Some things easier than others but always in reference to our upbringing and the fears we are taught.
      This journey is so beautifully brought together by going through those many emotions, facing the many difficulties and laughing, even at ourselves. But always facing our hearts ❤️
      Thank you for sharing dear lady, may that unconditional love be on your map of destinations 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏼 🦋

      Reply

    1. It is a journey to empower us all in its understanding. And it takes the good and the bad to see it truly and set ourselves free.
      Thank you for sharing your road dear friend, may your road keep that truth as its destination 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏼 🦋

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  10. Happiness is not a wall like misfortune is not an exit from the road … It is just like when you go into bends in the road. There are some that you follow with delight (you are in the rhythm and the curve) and others where without really knowing why (Or knowing it too late too … Too fast, too hard, too abrupt, not enough anticipation, bad report, slippery pavement, fog … What do I know …) you hang on and you have to pass it in force and without elegance. Well, I think that good and bad are turns in the road, you shouldn’t try to differentiate things too much. What could be more like a bend than another bend? What could be more annoying than a long straight line? For the rest, it’s a matter of feeling and also, a little bit of the highway code. Experience teaches you to read maps and signs …

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    1. It most certainly does dear lady. Our experiences ask us to ponder what we thought we knew and understand ourselves a little better each time. Thankfully, or that ‘long straight line’ would have us asleep behind the wheel never to experience those inner journeys 😀
      Thank you for sharing your driving experience, may your travels be in that rhythm and flow 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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    1. Thank you dear lady, it is the one thing that is the key to all fear. Understand it and you have defeated it and freed your heart from its terror. Thank you for sharing 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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    1. Thank you kindly Taruna, may its understanding give power to us all 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  13. Such a good analogy–one that makes it all seem doable:). Thanks, Mark! Every time we create a new thought pattern, away from fear, we get one step closer . . .

    Reply

    1. It is most doable dear lady, as hard as it seems sometimes. And that analogy was to make it clearer so that anyone who thinks it is all too hard can see that, and have faith that they can step past those fears we all hold. Spirit nudged me that everything we do all boils down to being able to understand something, and it changes us and our attitudes towards it do change as you said. Our thought patterns and coping strategies are no longer a support structure, a reaction to those fears and now become us wanting to create a new way of being for us.
      Thank you for sharing Kristine, may your creations be the magic you wish to see…they are there waiting for us all 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  14. Great lay out on this post Mark, and so very true. Once we face what we fear and take it apart we find there really isn’t anything to fear and we go about our life never giving it another thought.

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    1. Thank you kind lady, and so true. Spirit said it is in fact in everything we face. Car driving, cooking, singing, it all must be a nervous beginning until we understand it and let it go. We change fear by understanding it. And fear just happens to want us to go deeper, simply because of that wall we build to emotionally ‘protect’ us from that pain, when in fact it does the opposite and keeps us from our truth, that understanding of who we really are. But we will most certainly get there, this journey is deliberately built this way so that we will appreciate that understanding when it arrives 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

      Reply

    1. Yes, it is our lives that we always feel we don’t have control of. Not knowing who and why we are. The day we understand a light comes on, you know it, the one where your driving that car and suddenly it all comes together no longer so many separate parts but a fluent movement and it then becomes a whole new experience altogether. That is awakening 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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    1. Thank you dear Val. It is all thankfully built on that love, even though we get it stuck in gear sometimes 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  17. Beautiful writing mark… helping everyone understand how important it is to experience our own life in all its details and colours… allowing life to share with us what is true, what is here beyond the veils❤️ much love to you🥰

    Reply

    1. And much love and light to you also dear lady. We most certainly do share our discoveries because that love we find asks it of us, to help those whose steps are still unsure ❤️
      It is like anything we do, especially those bumpy bits, there are signposts and guides along the way. And as we face those parts of us, the first steps are to see us, the last to become us ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  18. What a wonderful analogy Mark, when people wake up to the fact that there is nothing to fear except fear itself.
    So many fear what they do not know or understand.
    Take the gift of medium ship for instance, so many would think it Taboo. So much so than in my earlier years of rediscovering my gift as I developed it further, I would be fearful of sharing that knowledge with others being fearful of their reactions.

    Then once my own confidence grew, I shared who I was with those who were sceptical. And in my communications, along with evidence, knowledge, and truth, altered their perspective and original opinion.

    Sometimes fear is the lack of knowledge. I hold no fear anymore, because my understanding of who, what, we are comes from a different perspective.

    When people shift gears automatically, instead of thinking what gear they should be in, like your analysis of driving a car, and trust their own inner instincts, and follow their hearts instructions instead of their fearful head energy. Then we drive with ease. Because we are then in the Flow.
    Thanking you Mark.
    Beautiful thoughts.
    Much love and appreciation.
    🙏💚🧡💚

    Reply

    1. It does indeed hold us in its grip dear lady, but eventually we grow wiser and dare to face it. It is a growing time to develop that courage and faith in who we are.
      And as you said, eventually we stand tall and speak that truth we have found within. Simply because in that journey we have discovered what love truly is and stand in its truth by finally loving ourselves.
      Our emotional walls are broken by those discoveries and the fear loses its power forever because we have changed our understanding of it. And in that moment we are finally, truly free.
      And you are right, if we truly stop and listen our hearts are always speaking to us. It is just the fear making more noise that blocks our listening. But eventually we will see and hear the beauty that is gently waiting and allow ourselves to listen to that flow inside, to be as water as Trini and Ericka just mentioned in their posts…and know love openly, no longer filtered by our fears.
      Love and light to you, and thank you kind lady for sharing a beautiful comment, one built from that discovery, that inner flow from the heart 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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      1. Wise words again dear Mark.. and yes finding our inner courage to speak our truth…
        May our hearts and intuition win the war on consciousness that is being waged right now… … Our Hearts have never been in more need of uniting as we let go of fear.. ❤️ 💖🙏💖

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        1. Hopefully this current change will bring the courage of our hearts forward dear lady. And I must say, and I have heard this from others, that family that have been ‘distant’ are now touching base again. And more to the point it is bringing issues forward so that they can be released, resolved or seen for what they really were ❤️
          And you are winning your battle dear lady, I hear the courage in your words 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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    1. Most certainly dear lady. A painful journey but it does have a silver lining…no, in fact I would say a rainbow waiting within it 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  20. Powerful, Mark! Powerful! My post today reflects yours. I’ve been quiet for a reason as I went through a very painful episode of seeing fear and refusing it into my life. As all of us walk about in a world where fear is everywhere, and when we walk in love and calmness, we are setting an example how to live without bowing to fear. Just yesterday I spoke to 2 women with very heavy masks on in a park who were sitting on a rock unable to continue … of course they were having trouble breathing. I just looked at them saying how sorry I felt for them for there is nothing to fear outside. My words seeming fell on deaf ears. Yet, the words came so I believe my example of walking with no fear was seen. Bless you for this post, dear friend!! xo

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    1. Thank you Amy, and we did indeed go through fears door to see who we are beyond it. The world is going through some tough changes and it will have a rocky road to deal with for a while, especially for those who are not ready for it or deny it. And its aftermath will leave scars…but they will be very beautiful scars as you have found dear lady. After reading your post and feeling your heart within them, I think, like Sue, it may be time to think of you and have a rest. That self love you have found will ask it of you to heal, and this is a very big emotional drain to go through something this big. Give your heart a rest then come back with the beauty this journey has created 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋 xox

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      1. I still am drained, Mark, and yes I was taking a chance posting today. I have been taking it easy, believe me. Coming back from such a deep and painful shock takes time. I picked up my camera yesterday for the first time in a week, so yes there is forward movement happening. What is happening to people I have to learn NOT to take personally, yet this too is so difficult to do. Yes my heart holds scars yet from out of those scars, new branches do grow. Sending you much love this day, dear friend. Hang tight for this ride still is not over. (((HUGS))) xo

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        1. I most certainly will dear lady. You take care also, I think some time for self in those forests with your camera and nature will heal all the more for you (((!BIGHUGS!))) ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋 xox

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  21. Thankfully we eventually come to realize that fear does nothing for us except steal our much needed energy! No positive purpose except maybe when we are running away from that tiger or lion or in this case when we are traveling icy roadways and need to stay alert. Thanks Mark. ❤️ VK

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    1. That is does dear lady, it steals much of our time, energy and love…of us. But we are ever guided to finally understand our fears on our road to unconditional where we no longer need to drive anything…we will fly instead 😀
      Thank you for sharing VK, may your journey have those wings 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  22. Wow, great analogy, Mark. Indeed, over time we grow some self-esteem and many things that made us nervous are not even noticed anymore and become a routine (also, in a new job). You find your own was of dealing with things and how to make use of a niche to squeeze in. You become more couragous.

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    1. Well said dear lady. And we do become more courageous as we step past those things that used to keep us at bay, slowly building that wisdom to face the most important part, that bit we always seem to be unsure of deep inside…us 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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      1. Funny, later when we went on a trip I thought, that over time you are losing a little bit of the necessary respect and becoming a bit more risky. You feel a lot safer and that can also mean that we are risking more and become a bit unreasonable. Also that fits your metaphor so well!

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        1. It is that contradiction you spoke of before dear lady. By acting one way but giving out another message. What I found that happens when I finally saw my fear, understood it and let it go…I would then realise I had been walking around on a leash by that fear. When someone would ask me to do something I would automatically go into the ‘yes’ mode to please them etc so I would not be rejected. But once you see ‘why’ you did these things, in my case so I would not feel that fear of rejection (afraid of them not loving me), you see it is a lie and no longer wish to be this way so you begin to stand in your truth. But when you do this you will begin to say no (or appear to be risky), respectfully, and it will make others feel as if you are rejecting them (because that is their fear). But you are now more at ease, simply because that one action of understanding why we had been led by our fears gives us great strength and courage to now stand in our truth (and now even do things we wouldn’t normally do because of our confidence), and this will not necessarily be understood by others ‘yet’ as they are still fighting to understand their own fear, so they cannot see it in others . So by now standing in my truth and loving myself it will appear that I am even selfish…when in fact (and here is the contradiction), I am doing the one thing that I had denied myself for a very, very long time, to be loving to myself 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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          1. That is an interesting point you are mentioning here. Indeed, others treating us badly or threatening us with rejection is only their way to keep them from rejection, pretending they have the power over you. That’s so true!
            Once we understand that love does not come from outside but from ourselves and is in ourselves it makes us independent from other people’s approval. Also the insight that everybody’s way is unique and needs to be unique. It all has to do with loving yourself and having faith in yourself. That is the knife that cuts the leash!

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            1. Beautifully put Ericka. I think most of my life I was trying to cut the leash with a banana 😂 🤣
              That rejection, regardless how it is built is the taunter of our lives. And as you said, once we change our attitude towards our fears, it will change and create that independence within us.
              There are many roads to travel, many reasons to do as we do, but eventually we just have to be truthful to ourselves. In there is our freedom, that love that will accept all ❤️
              Thank you dear lady for sharing your uniqueness, that road less travelled by listening to your heart 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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              1. I fully agree, that is the crucial point: Being truthful to ourselves (taking responsibility for us and our actions and decisions).
                Thank you for the inspiring post and conversation, Mark 😊😁😊

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                1. And thank you kind lady, for sharing your heart…even in the midst of sometimes dangling from a mountain top. Mind you, the view was astounding 😂 🤣 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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          1. Thank you Miriam, and well said. Thankfully it all has a very loving, beautiful purpose 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

            Reply

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