Finding our Happiness!
February 10, 2018
All of your life you are seeking that mythical place called happiness. Well…I found it…but not where I was looking.
This world will bring into our lives something called a fear, in our childhood actually, and we spend our entire lives avoiding it, on guard in case it jumps out from who knows where. And one day while I was going through the most horrendous time in my life, I had to look inside it because it had made me reach a point where I finally admitted to myself that I could not do this ‘pain’ thing anymore, I was worth so much more than this.
So I went looking at this thing that kept bobbing up in my life, those relationships that seemed to keep doing the same things to me…and in there was ‘it’. But I had to go digging because as a child my emotional handling capacity was very immature so I had just built a wall, you know, that block, block, block we do with the things we can’t handle emotionally so that it won’t cause us any pain.
But down behind that wall is something so amazing that when you see it, it will blow your mind. It will hit you like a steam train, simply because its simplicity will be incredible. But its power in that moment will awaken the slumberer, again simply because of the understanding of something that has held you at bay for many years. And in that moment the fear will lose ‘its’ power forever.
It will set you free…and a happiness we had searched for, for so long, will empower you with the one thing we have been missing for so long…that ability to love ourselves <3
Is there a 'happy ever after' in this world…you better believe it my friend…and its got your name all over it <3 😀
It is an inside job. Thank you for this and for your amazing comment before. You have a great way with words that help others see the truth. God bless you!
And thank you also kind lady, may your heart always follow your light, it will attract exactly as it needs…and yes, even the bumpy bits because we need to see them too to build that final love <3 😀
True happiness is internal, not to be found in extrinsic sources – which diminishes too soon!
Most certainly Himali, and built on our ability to face those internal fears that block that very happiness we have searched for all our lives <3
Thank you for sharing the opening you have found, its smile is in your words <3
You are most welcome, Mark 🙂
<3
… and the truth shall set you free!! Great post. Glad you found the truth, had the courage to face it and the wisdom and grace to overcome it. Happy journeying into the future.
Thank you for sharing Rose, it is a hard journey but underneath it is a beauty beyond our imagination and something we all can obtain. May your journey also find that inner beauty <3 😀
Thanks. I too went through a couple of tough years but I am thankful for them for I would not be who I am without them -nor would I have drawn closer to my Creator to discover my plan and purpose. Best as you continue to share and inspire ?
Thank you, and yes they are the making of us kind lady. We finally break through to that beauty inside and just want to share that discovery with others. Like coming to a hidden waterfall in a forest somewhere, no trail, no people, just you and the perfection of nature, and the one you now share with inside <3
Really very inspiring!!
I’m glad it resonates Moushmi. It is something we all have in our own ways, but it always comes back to that rejection or hurt from our childhood. And that is where the key is, find the denominator in all our relationships, the thing that always seems to come into our lives to cause that pain, and there is where we all must go to break through by understanding what drives it. Find the trigger, and in understanding it, it will set you free <3
Inspiring and true to the T! 🙂
It is a hard journey, but underneath all those bumps and wobbles in our lives is something very beautiful. And when found everything will change…forever 😀
Enjoy the journey because it is the builder of that happiness, you will appreciate it all the more ‘because’ of those hard bits <3
Absolutely! 🙂
😀
Hello Mark. Happiness can be quite a journey, and I am so happy you have found yours. You have moved from the journey to happiness, to the journey through happiness, which comes with wisdom and is everlasting. But this has been obvious for some time. We are all blessed on account of it, your wonderful journey, because you share your light and love with us all on account of it. Peace and
Blessings .my friend
Thank you for your kind words Craig. It is an incredible journey over much pain…but within that pain is a jewel, something hidden in the beginning but slowly the light begins to shine as we polish that tiny gleam until it can be seen for miles. And like any masterpiece, we must begin with one stroke, then another and another…and before long we begin to ‘see’ what we can truly create, by the love we see within, and the joy of that understanding begins 😀 <3
Thank you for also sharing your heart as well my friend, it ripples outward as you stand within it. May that blessing always be a part of your journey <3 😀
A very inspiring tale 🙂
Thank you Moushmi, it is a journey we all take, and in the end a beautiful freedom for us all 😀
Seriously loved this post my friend!
Loving the journey you are taking and the self revelation that loving oneself is in fact your happily ever after. Once you conquer that then skies the limit. ✨
Hey stranger, glad to hear that lovely voice again. And yes, once we see and understand those fears that keep us treading the same ground over and over, the sky is the limit 😀
I hope your limits are a thing of the past too <3
We seem to have been on a little journey, new site and all. I'll wander over 😀
Good morning my friend,
Yes it’s been quite the journey. I fought fear and I won. I found my voice again and refuse to allow someone to have that much power over me again.
But with it all, I’ve found true peace within myself.
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Good morning young lady, and well done. It is a big journey and is something we will never forget. But in the end we can finally ‘see’ its purpose and the outcome is that self love, peace and the happiness we have always looked for.
Now the good part, in removing much of what has always held you at bay…what now do YOU want to do? Just take your time, your actually creating now rather than reacting, there is a big difference 😀 <3
I should just call you, Yoda ohhh wise one.
But Mark, since unblocking all my chakras especially my throat and crown, it’s hard not to “react” because for awhile there I just had to remain silent.
I understand what you’re saying though. ?
When our fears are finally understood we do in fact rebound from the ways they held us to swing back too far the other way, and in the process go through many emotions…surprise (when you understand it), anger and many others. These need to be felt so that our journey brings back that balance in our lives, no longer walking ‘on guard’ to everything in life. The fears, when we finally recognise them, are something that has taken a lifetime to ingrain into our lives. There is a switch, and that is understanding what created them in the first place, but it takes quite some time to let them go. You will find that fear keeps popping its head up, but as time goes by your reaction to them will get less and less until finally they no longer register as anything but a memory. And that has purpose so that you just don’t walk away and forget it, it takes time to adjust to the new way of being and your really being able to appreciate what it has taken to endure that journey and find that self love and happiness that we have always looked for <3
Take a bow my friend, to get here takes great courage and an appreciation of what it has taken to find you <3
So glad you found yours, Mark. What a blessing!
It most certainly was Kristine, a blessing like no other. When I finally saw it the relief was like I’d been holding a 30 ton block on my shoulders for years and years and finally let it go. It dropped me to my knee’s with the sheer magnitude of what it felt like to ‘let go’ something that had been a part of who I was for so long, and the flood of tears that were being held behind that wall like a dam, finally let go. And also for what took its place when I finally saw and understood exactly what it was…the ‘knowing’ at last of what had kept my life in a constant fever of negativity, unhappiness and most of all that ‘on guard’ that we don’t even realise we do for those fears.
The biggest shock of it all though was the fact that I realised because of the pain it had caused me when I closed it over with a wall in my youth, I could no longer see it as an adult. I ‘knew’ the fear and avoided it…but the why was so well hidden beneath my day to day living. I would have to say its impact had psychologically put up a blinder so that it would never be seen until it was time, it is that painful.
We will all reach it my friend, as that is what this world is designed for. The teaching of that self love, the unconditional one, as we find and remove those conditions of fear…and are free…free to truly be that love <3
Thanks Mark, nice post! It’s like when there is a splinter in the body – the body does all it can to reject the foreign body. When we make an intention to grow and love with our hearts, fear becomes the foreign body. It will be pushed to the surface to be witnessed and then released. Seems like when you admitted you couldn’t “do the pain thing anymore” your journey began! I can relate totally!! ❤️
Thank you Donna, and well written, your meaning of a rejection of a foreign body is a very good way to put it 😀
It is a big thing to face our fears, but eventually that turning point gives us that one thing we have yearned for all our lives, that love and happiness that we have looked for forever.
May your love and happiness be opening to that healing <3
So uplifting, Mark! Thank you for showing us there is light and love for ourselves at the end of the tunnel we find ourselves traveling through. Love always seems to be the answer doesn’t it. 🙂
Most certainly Michele…and then one day, after the pain of so much in our lives, something stirs. A little flutter, slowly touching our thoughts, agitating to be found. Unsure if it was our imagination or in fact been something to see. But inevitably it gives something that we can no longer ignore, a truth so profound it will bring everything to a standstill, because further direction is pointless…our destination has always been inward, the maps and paths we had been following had purpose but will now not lead anywhere. It is time to believe…and take that final step towards the very thing we have avoided in our negativity all of our lives…our love…and the one true path home <3
Thank you for sharing kind lady, may your love wrap you in that understanding heart <3
Its a most wondrous feeling when one lets go of that fear.. And laughs back at its grip.. 😀 And it is indescribable feeling.. When one finds that place inside of ones self.. 😀
Many thanks for sharing Mark.. Its been a hell of a journey at times.. But I am so pleased we discovered and dug down deep.. 😀 ?
It is an amazing journey Sue. After so much pain and thinking our life is a misery, a small light comes on. Tempting us to look and begin the one thing that has held us at bay…that fear in our hearts, and the belief in ourselves 😀
We realise we are worth so much more than that pain and hurt and finally stand up and face the wall that holds us. And in looking deep, we finally ‘see’ what drove it, usually from a childhood holding pattern…a rejection in some way that we built that wall to protect us. Not realising it will affect us all through our lives in so many ways…until we finally say ‘enough’, and begin to dig.
Just as you have in ‘your’ garden kind lady, overturning the lumpy bits, airing it out and watering it to re-make more fertile ground to begin something new. And flowers that will shine more beautiful because of that attention, as we will have done for our hearts <3
Take a bow young lady, it isn't an easy journey, but most certainly a very loving one in its destination <3 😀
Thank you Mark.. I am taking that bow, thank you, And loved your words in describing our digging and turning over the ground..
We got there.. And would not be who we are were it not for the Journey.. 😀 Thank you ?
Oh how I can relate to this post and then some! My happiness is peace within where once I knew only strife and anger. When we look at those things that scare us the most and see them for what they truly are, it is then we can overcome that fear to move on to greener pastures. Beautiful post, dear Mark! Bless you! Much Love to you especially on this day! ???
Thank you Amy. As you are now very aware, it is a journey of belief in ourselves. A hard one, but it wouldn’t have the outcome it does unless it was built in exactly the way it is. And we can explain it until we are blue in the face, but until each person finally steps into their own fear, only then can they realise its significance.
Glad to ‘see’ your path faced, your journey enlightened and your heart opened kind lady. Wait till this summer takes you into the woods, you won’t believe the beauty that you will now see because the blinkers are off 😀 <3
I’m seeing the Beauty already, Mark. All these years of such struggle I’ve had to one by one, get things right in my life. Some struggles I didn’t think I would live to see the next day! The only way I have done this is as you know, is to believe in myself and to see myself from a very Loving Lens. The more I step into that fear and see victory, the more Compassion comes alive within for those who are still trapped in hell. And hell it truly is, although they who are caught are so blind they don’t even know it (yet). If I could climb out of the pit, so can they. Much much Love to you this day, dear Mark! ???
And much love to you also kind lady, may your lens always be clear <3
Very inspiring, especially as you’ve lived this truth.
It took some time to do it Kitt, specifically because spirit asked me did I want to know the meaning of life. Now most people would be bouncing up and down screaming ‘Hallalueya’, yes please….until it is told in straight matter of fact wording that cannot be twisted, maneuvered or mishmashed in any way. Spirit said…’face your fear’. And I stuck my hand up and said ‘speak to the hand’, totally incredulous that this could even remotely be the meaning of life. The hardest, most painful place to go was face my fear…were they kidding me?
But then it was explained to me how we hold that fear up as a wall in everything we do…and block the one thing we are searching for…love…and the happiness that goes with it. So as I stumbled around facing the many places my fear resided, which was my fear of rejection, you would be surprised in how many ways you can get rejected. And spirit said…’find the why you react as you do each time you are rejected, and you are home free’. So I did. It took some digging to find this thing buried under my wall, but when I found it, the change was absolutely profound, it stopped me in my tracks, dropped me to the floor in a ball of tears…and a let go I will never forget.
Oh, it is there for us all Kitt, I can ‘see’ it now in almost everyone, but only because I have dropped my wall. We hold that wall up and it blinds us to so many things in others but especially ourselves, they are the masks we wear, and a different one for the many circumstances. One’s for our kids, others for friends, and more again for boss’s or acquaintances. But when that fear is found, a clearance sale the likes we’ve never seen is on to clear out what no longer works for us…simply because we can now ‘see’ what our hearts really look like, and the love that is now pouring into us because of the understanding it gives when we ‘see’ what that fear is built on. That truth, that understanding that has now dis-empowered the fear…it is dead…and my view now goes on forever. I could explain that too but it would need another post…as this answer nearly is 😀 <3
Thank you for sharing Kitt, may your journey find that beauty inside…it is waiting, I promise…but first the hard bit, it too has much purpose. But you can do it. If I can, anyone can 😀 <3
Trusting and letting down that wall can be difficult when you’ve been abused, especially as you were as a child. As an adult, one must learn who to trust, rather than replay old patterns.
Doing the work to learn to trust, to let go of that fear of rejection or fear of abuse, is well worth it.
Like you, I’ve done much work on that front. I’ve been in therapy on and off since I was 18 (mostly on), and I actually have been licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist in California since 1992. Haven’t treated anyone as a psychotherapist since I was 30 (shortly after I was licensed, actually).
You have done well Kitt. It isn’t an easy journey. I have not had child abuse per se, as in constant abuse, but I was raped by a man when I was 9. And because of the emotional turmoil it brings for many years afterwards I can understand (but obviously not fully because you have to experience something to understand it truly), how hard your journey must have been.
Trust is a big thing in our lives, and because so many people are held down by their fears, they always wear a mask or two so don’t ‘come across’ as being trustful, even though it is only the fear that is keeping them from their inner truth.
And your training has at least given you a ‘heads up’ in how people respond to different things in their lives, as well as guiding you on your journey.
Take a bow young lady, to face it you get a medal anyway…that ability to believe and trust in you with a love like no other <3
Inspiring and beautiful post Mark! Thank you for sharing!! ♥
Thank you Yvonne. Our journey can be a hard one but it will achieve something so beautiful, and leave us with that wonderful sensation like ‘connecting’ with a horse, that burst of happiness as you touch something within so unexpected <3
Oh yes! I heartily agree with you! ♥
<3
I love the wise simplicity of your words and how they describe the depth of our search… but if we don’t give up and trust this incredible knowing we will all indeed experience falling in love with ourselves. Thankyou for sharing Mark, happy weekend x❤️
Thank you Barbara, I try to keep it understandable otherwise it gets a little lost in the translation, and I find that if I can relate it to something it can be seen much easier. I think it is one of those things they teach where some need to ‘see’ something, others are better in hearing something, and the rest play poker because they have better things to do 😀
But it will touch us all regardless of where our hearts are, because our love is just waiting its turn <3 😀
And a great weekend to you also kind lady <3 xo
They say that happiness is a state of mind and it is a result of events and circumstances that have positive effect in our well-being.
Lovely thoughts!
Thank you Arlene. And that of course is very true. Our life long fears will hold us at bay a great deal of the time as they tend to be quite prominent in our lives. And because of that, when we do see the ‘why’ behind it all, it is such a relief to let go of that dragon in our lives and finally be so happy to do so. It will change us so profoundly that life will seem like a picnic after it has gone, and from experience, it will be so beautiful because at last we can smell the roses 😀
Nice post. Congrats that you have found happiness and beat the demons. We all want happiness. Probably more than anything else. Enjoy. Thanks for sharing
Thank you Lyn. It is a journey we all will make, and a love like nothing else we will meet. Those conditions (fears), in this world have great purpose, keeping us from that very love so that will appreciate them all the more when we finally understand them. That is their purpose, keep us in fear, doubt, negativity for a long time…until we see the lie that we held, and that they are built on…and break free, to finally see that happiness that we have always sought <3
With the courage of a lion…….well done, well said!
Thank you Liza, and as we will all find when we face that journey, it will take much courage. But more than that, a love of self to dare it <3
Its such a profound thing when we finally feel those walls that were so invisible to us and hidden, because the roots of why we had to block and deflect or protect were so deep. Its even hard to articulate it in words but you have made a valiant effort here. We can always change and when we start to accept its not the world that needs to change but our relationship to it, that is a turning point. <3
Well said kind lady. They are such a subtle thing, hiding beneath our vision because of what they are made. But gradually that inner heart asks us to look, know that we are worth so much more than this life of pain…and begin to crumble those walls that bind us. And as you have so well said, it is our relationship with ourselves that begin that change with the world…and suddenly that sunshine we have wanted to be a part of begins to shine all around because we have finally loved ourselves enough to break through the pain that causes it…by understanding it <3
Thank you for sharing <3
<3
Beautiful and encouraging post, Mark! ??
Thank you kind lady, it is to encourage and give heart that this journey may be hard, but there is much love waiting in its discovery <3 😀