Coming Out Party!
October 28, 2014
No, I’m not Gay. Nor am I 40,000 other labels that I could wrap around my name, put up in lights or even tack onto my door. I am that I am. A discovery we all make at different times in our lives as we wade through a multitude of things to ‘see’ if this fits or that resonates.
But it is in finally realising that what we are…is enough. After struggling, trying to find something ‘out there’ for many, many years, finding what at first seems to be exactly what we were after, only to realise that it still didn’t reach that fulfilment, that something that we constantly try to find in our journey.
I am that I am because I have now accepted that knowledge that what we had been looking for has resided inside this body always. But I had just been too noisy, trying to find something that would not be found till I let it go. Released this journey outside and listened within, instead of looking, I saw, instead of constantly worrying of my past or future, I became silent. And in that silence I began to hear something.
A voice I at first didn’t recognise. No, not a sound but a ‘knowing’ that had at different times come into my life and was fobbed off as ‘a fluke’ or ‘freaky event’. But this in fact was my centre, my spirit, my guide and myself within. It has been helping and assisting my journey with all of the love and beauty that it could. And suddenly I realised I needed to feel and experience all that I did so that when this moment arose for my understanding, it would be gratefully accepted and appreciated so much more BECAUSE of what my path had entailed.
That understanding is a watergate. A time to really understand the first part of my journey and now encompass what I have now become because of that. The first part must be experienced, felt and understood or the duality cannot be released. It is in that acceptance of what I really am within that removes the crutches, the helping hand of life’s many experiences so that I can stand within my truth and now give from that acceptance of the discovery within and be at one with myself.
It is an incredible experience to suddenly realise there is a completely new world within our own but beautifully interwoven so that it only becomes apparent when it is needed for our journey. And even ‘knows’ when we are ready to step into it fully so that we are not scared or reject it unintentionally thinking we are losing our minds. For it will only be accepted by those who are ready. The world will keep us distracted with life until that point is reached. It may dance at the fringes so that an awareness is gradually accepted but only enough so that eventually it becomes too apparent to be ignored any more.
So as I begin this next stage of my learning, and feel so much more within it, the urge to share from where I am at, is a natural by product of giving from a place that has become more open, more loving and more unconditional as I grow into who I have now become.
There are no words to fully describe this, ‘beauty, acceptance, embracing, seeing, knowing’ and a million other words to embody something that has no words. It IS of another world but one that has always been a part of us, and which with great love, has given us something that will help create the most beautiful and heartfelt soul on its infinite journey.
And in sharing such an incredible journey with the many blogger’s of THIS world, I felt it was time to embody the voice, visualize the writing and create this journey from a more balanced and open perspective. (Actually scottishmomus started this with her coming out party, and I’ve been threatening to do it ever since 🙂 )
So with respect to the many who were happy with that isolation, I will now integrate that balance with my mug shot below. May it not scare children or animals :), appease those with sight, and give love and understanding to those that only see my writings origins from the healing within my heart. Namaste
Me ☟
“I am that I am.” That’s all we are and all we need to be. The closer we get to this I Am and the more we can let go around it the more open we are to receive what belongs to that I Am without any distorting filters. This is so insightful. Although the matter itself seems so clear, your words revealed even more clarity about it.
Thank you for telling me about this post, Mark. Thanks for showing more of the I Am that you are 😊
My pleasure to share dear lady, it is a journey for us all. We are ‘marked’ by a very incredible and beautiful journey as we glow a little more in each step we take to understand again a part of the magic of this universe 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
So you now have seen my mug shot and my horror of horrors, standing on the roots of a very old wise tree. I hope he was sharing that day or I may find some roots crawling up the outside of my building coming to take his revenge 😂 🤣
Step by step revealing the layers of unawareness… and getting closer to our roots and therefore to our part of this universe. Yes, understanding its magic (at least a bit more).
You had me laughing when I read what you wrote about the tree and you… haha. Very metaphoric too… lol! You never know in which ways wisdome reaches out 😅
Yes, our roots do become firmer as life goes on. And those times of wisdom most certainly do grab us at such unexpected moments Erika, and the impact will leave a very loving place within in its understanding.
Thank you for sharing your name, I found your name (Erika) means ‘Noble’ (are you living in a castle? 😂), and its meaning for Erick is ‘Kingly, leader of the people’, so he must be going to lead this neighborhood to a better place 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋 😂
Oh, gosh, yes, unexpected for sure and therefore always at the perfect time… lol!
Really? Noble? I had no idea but I like it… haha. Sure, I am living in a castle… at least, to me it is (my home, my castle… hehe).
So, Erick has a wonderful name and his colorful appearance is fitting it so well.
Thanks for the inisghts, Mark. That was cool 😃🙏
And thank you dear lady 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
You are welcome, Mark 😊😊
Mark lovely to Meet you.. And this journey we are on, is so familiar as we all walk to find that which we thought was lost.. As we search else where to fill the gap within.. And it isn’t until we stop within the silence then listen.. We discover who we are.. 🙂 I did something similar Mark in a post in 2012 when I revealed who I AM to the World for the first time as I allowed my picture to be shown instead of the Native Indian girl I had on my Gavatar . 🙂 My post is here
http://suedreamwalker.wordpress.com/2012/05/30/finding-myself-i-am/
Blessings.. And have a great PARTY!
Thank you Sue. It feels good to ‘stretch my legs’ and be me. Not that I was deliberately hiding, mind you I think we all blog tentatively in the beginning 🙂 And it is part of our journey to finally stop and realise that beauty has always been within. I will go read your post, it is good to see and feel another’s journey as we will probably relate to the process of standing in our power 🙂
🙂
I have a body, albeit a temporary one 🙂
Beautiful! I am experiencing the same journey and I realize that it could not have happened any sooner simply because I was not ready. Namaste.
It is all so perfectly balanced Cindy. And with great love we are wrapped in its wings and become who we truly are. Enjoy the ride. Namaste
Nice Mark:-) As I see it, Your inner light is shining out very much and reflect the journey/experience of your soul..Wish you a nice weekend
Thank you Elaine, your comment is very much appreciated. Hopefully my soul is feeling all the love from my experiences. And wow, there’s been a few of them 🙂 Have a lovely weekend too. Namaste
Thank you for sharing your beautiful journey with us! These words of wisdom are much appreciated! Much love and light and have a beautiful and divine weekend 🙂
Thank you Voice of a Soul. It is in finally realising our journey, touching that beauty within, and we begin to express it from that place. Mind you, sometimes there are no words for something that is wordless. Our vocabulary just cannot do it justice. But the realization of its presence is enough. Thank you again, may your weekend be filled with love and blessings as well. Namaste
I absolutely agree, words truly cannot do justice at times – its magic and true value can only be felt within. Namaste 🙂
Very much so…so I just walk around with a smile all day for what is felt inside 🙂 Namaste
Reading your peaceful and calm words transmit a similar feeling right over to me. How wonderful to put a face with a name and I must agree with Skye completely…beautiful inside and out. I’m so happy that our paths crossed, Mark.
Thank you for your lovely words Michelle. I have spent many years calming the ego in my journey, only to have you and many other kind bloggers enhance it with your beautiful words in this post, I am beginning to have trouble fitting through the door, my head has become too swollen 😀 I am also very blessed to have crossed paths with a butterfly with a heart of gold. I look forward to seeing more of your journey as you move from beautiful flower to flower. Love and light, Mark.
You are exactly what I pictured….Beautiful. Now I know it is inside AND out. I am so glad you came out. lol I needed to read your words today. They helped me a great deal (as they always seem to). You are a blessing.
Thank you Skye, your words are lovely and very much appreciated. I’m glad those words have meaning, just as yours today on ‘Hands of Love’ was very beautiful. You always connect with that love inside because of the journey you have been through. To touch and feel that from within takes great courage. I bow to a master. Namaste
Great post “Welcome to the new you” I am guilty of searching outside myself to for identity and validation, only to realise it was accepting myself completely that I was able to find it!
Karen
Thank you Karen. It’s all part of the journey to go through the ups and downs so that we can see what is truth. The outside has great purpose. I can tell you that you will burn your hand if you stick it into a fire, but until the day you DO burn your hand…then and only then can you truly understand what I meant. And because you really understand it, you now have much respect for what has happened, you now care much more for yourself, and you can now guide others with this truth that you have gained for yourself. Love for ourselves is understood in the same way. We go through so much pain in our relationships, and they can seriously take us on journeys that we wish had never happened. But underneath it all, in hindsight, we know we have come a long, long way. Even as it scares us to attempt more relationships, that urge within to be held and loved and be a part of something that we can return is always the driving force above all else. The final understanding is that unconditional love within that is found when we finally, truly love ourselves. Once we accept ourselves we no longer judge, no longer fear, no longer put expectations on others, or ourselves, because we realise what we have been through to attain this love within. And realising this we understand others and their journeys are just as hard as what we have been through. It is the most liberating and beautiful sensation to be totally, utterly free…AND we no longer block that love for self by releasing all this, so we now are that unconditional love. There is nothing blocking us any longer. The thing that we try to achieve is in actuality held at bay by our fears, walls and pain. When we finally step through all of these…we are there. (Sorry, nearly turned this into another post 🙂 ) Thank you for your lovely comment, very much appreciated. Namaste
I’m glad you are there Mark. It is a gift.
Karen
Thank you Karen. And it is a gift, something that we all can achieve, as it is there waiting inside us all. Namaste
🙂 I love your smile 🙂 You have a very warm and loving aura 🙂 Your soul radiates out from your eyes. It is nice to see who the voice belongs too 🙂 I also like very much reading about your journey. 🙂 Thank you for sharing Mark! 🙂
Thank you Line. Your words are graciously accepted and appreciated. I suppose that is what has been lingering in the back of my mind…is that I can ‘see’ you, and feel what you say, in your writing AND in relating that image to someone as well. We are a very ‘visual’ animal and it helps to ‘see’ something as it is a part of that triangle of what we hear, feel and see. And predominately what I ‘see’ in you, is that lovely smile that goes on forever, just as your writing does 🙂 And I’m glad you like the journey, thank you. Namaste
🙂 🙂 You look so kind so that adds to your writing 🙂 I chose my smiley picture because I do smile a lot! 🙂 🙂
I cheat a little because I ‘feel’ another’s energy in their writing. Your energy is always up there with the angels because you ARE in that space 🙂 Thank you for your lovely comment Line, it reflects that energy beautifully 😀 Namaste
You are sweet! 🙂
As are you my friend 🙂
🙂
Words become so limited as we embrace the intangible and the unknowing knowing.
Great to “see” you Mark!
Thank you Val. And yes, it has stepped up a notch and it IS something that just IS. I think that is the next part of my journey, balancing and being in both places at once. Namaste
No balance required. That’s our thinking Mark. We are already there.
🙂
Val x
A lifetime of ego thinking leaves its mark 🙂 Thank you Val.
wow! that’s some great stuff. well written for something that usually eludes most words. The sense of knowing and solid fiber is such a powerful resonation. a coming out party for those that have gone in. love it and congratulations. enjoy the experience from both sides. mikey 🙂
Thank you Mikey, your words are very much appreciated. It is an amazing journey, and as spirit has guided me to my own heart, I have the blessing to share with others from that ‘knowing’. It is in bringing that love down to the physical plane to ‘balance’ the unconditional love within. As above, so below! Thank you again for your comment, I’m glad it has resonated with you. Namaste
Now, this is so strange. Whenever I was pregnant ( all those times!) I always wondered what my baby would look like. This was especially true of the first and I remember discussing it with my mum, whether I would recognise the face and just know my child.
Within moments of holding each baby I looked and thought, ‘How could I ever have imagned I would not know you?’ A weird sort of knowing and recognition after having carried the unknown for months.
That’s what it feels like to see you. How could I have imagined I would not know you? It’s in your face and smile and in your eyes. Lovely to ‘meet’ you, Mark although I feel I’ve known you for a long time. Very liberating, isn’t it? 🙂
Thanks momus. It is an unusual experience to ‘know’ someone you have never met. And that can be for two reasons. We chose to help teach each other on this journey down here and that recognition is an instant ‘knowing’, and/or we have danced the rhumba in other lifetimes elsewhen. I could just imagine you doing that as one of your previous posts was chatting about your ‘youth’ 🙂 Another Wild Child :D, but always done with great love my friend. And yes, that understanding is a very liberating and ‘knowing’ that goes beyond time. It has been a very interesting time since I connected with you, like we have known each other for a very long time so we have re-connected and just started where we last left off. Thank you momus, may there be many more liberations 😀
Wonderul, Mark! You appear at peace and very happy 🙂
Thank you Michele for your lovely comment. I think it’s like anything in our lives, we reflect what we are. And hopefully my discovery of self keeps me at peace and the happiness is now part of the furniture. Namaste