God spoke to me and said ‘I AM THE GIVER OF LIFE’
So I no longer had to worry about that
All I had to do was find that purpose of the life He had given me
Become the love that it leads to, especially myself
Many say that is selfish, self centered
But they are the words of fear
If I become that unconditional love it is just that…unconditional
I give out exactly what I become within
And that is our journey, find that beauty inside
And like anything that is alive, it continually changes
Let that inner seed sprout, let it grow
Until it becomes the beauty that it is
Like a rose beginning in the dirt, it needs it also
Just as our conditional love is needed to become unconditional
And a bloom so far beyond where it began to be almost another being
You already have the seed, plant it, nurture it
Believe in your journey….He does ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
God spoke to me and said ‘I AM THE GIVER OF LIFE’
When we are raised as children we unintentionally take on the fears of those we love and look up to in the way they treat us. We know no other way so take on what we are taught and how we learn from that treatment. Don’t get me wrong, they love us to bits too, in their own ways. But those we look up to have not dealt with their own trauma so unintentionally ‘pass it on’, leaving us feeling rejected in some manner. Usually left feeling unloved (as they were), belittled (as they were), rejected as a person (as they were), in some way and so that anyone, be it friends, lovers or whoever treats us similarly will bring those emotions up that are connected to this.
That is what fears are, a constant treatment and our reaction to it condensing it into those negative reactions that can become very, at times, overpowering (remember you were only a child and your only coping strategies was to emotionally block that pain, build an emotional wall). And in the depth of that we are afraid to think that there is something wrong with us and try to hide it from everyone, even ourselves, simply because its pain, the hurt it gives is beyond words…it is…us.
But there is a key, to which you can apply to all those ‘fears’ in your life. It may be difficult but we would not appreciate it if it were not. It is only after we work hard at something that we fully appreciate it for what it is.
Fear in anything is basically not understanding something. If you are thrown into a situation that you have never been in before, say a new job, we are very nervous, unsure how we will go. And this will stay for a while but as you understand all of its workings it becomes easier and easier until you barely give it a thought.
Emotionally, with a fear, you are being asked to face something that continually upsets you because it always has, because you didn’t truly understand why. You think you do and point the finger at everything else but one…you. Yes, you…it is only you ‘reacting’ from your fear. Yes, ‘they’ are treating you a certain way ‘from their fears’ but you need to break those actions from ‘your’ fears…or you will ever be bound by its claws. Once you understand your fear, it loses its power over you, like that new job above. You have understood it and it will no longer matter to you, so you will no longer need to ‘point the finger at anything’.
Now you have to understand your fear, go back to where it began as a child…and be that child again. How was the treatment making you feel, how did it make you think. Find what it meant personally to you in those feelings, did it make you feel pain, rejection, unloved by the very people you wanted to love you. Understand it truly and it will set you free. That is the core of all of our journeys, understand that rejection AND how it made you feel about yourself and you will see you have carried this into every relationship you have had because that is what you have become because of it. Trust me, how many times has someone your in a relationship with do things that upset you? Many…because that is what your fear is built from, they treat you a certain way and you react to it. Yes, it is you that is reacting, your fears are triggered and you don’t want to go there so you demand that your partner never treats you like that again. And you will pile it with so many ‘reasonable’ reasons so that they cannot ‘see’ the pain beneath it. You curb and curb, project and stifle all around you because of ‘your’ fear. Break the chain, that negative loop that life has developed within you by understanding it, and it will set you free.
Now don’t get me wrong, this very lifetime action has much purpose. When you break free you will be able to truly see it all back through your life. All of your actions within those many relationships but more importantly the one you have with yourself. The belief in who you are and how you have felt because of that ever rejection in those many relationships. It has always asked you to look within and find that love you felt was denied you, and that is what you have always attracted to you in those people that make you feel that way so that you will look, hence those many people that have come out of nowhere and push your buttons. Trust me, that love wants you to look, wants you to be free, and does this with a great love so that you can see and appreciate what it has taught you after enduring such a painful, heartfelt journey.
Look at someone who has been through a very painful journey, see how they now act after it. They become a more loving, empathetic and heartfelt person…because ‘they’ have been through something very profound with ‘themselves’ and that journey has built something that they have never had…trust, and that trust is that belief in who they are and allows that self love that has never been there. It always comes back to how we feel about ourselves, that journey that has stripped us of that belief and that journey to find our way back to us, and realise in doing it, it has created something wonderful, something so profound that when we finally break through and see under that fear in understanding, it will break us into tears. Not fearful tears but big, beautiful loving tears…the one’s that set us free…forever…because we will see that it was all done for us, to guide us to that inner love ❤️
When you finally stop that painful, self denying journey you will see something unbelievable. The fear has made you into a liar (lots and lots of little white lies…and some big ones), to cover all that you do so that you don’t have to face its pain. But when it is understood it loses its power over you and for the first time ever, you trust…fully trust you, and can now speak from your heart, not a lie to be seen. And at that very moment you understand you will feel a huge tension leave your body and for the first time be at peace with you AND the world around you. You will drop…almost everything that you have ever held, inside and out. You no longer have to ‘be’ anything, no longer have to…have to anything. You can now see that freedom, see that it was in fact you who held the reins of that wild prancing mind, and in holding it, it fought tooth and nail back. You’ve let it go and in doing so have now truly found you. It has lost its power over you.
So grab a counselor, a trusted friend, one who you can ‘open’ to in all its painful bits inside and keep pushing yourself deeper, past that wall of emotional protection that has had a lifetime to build and believe in you, that you are good enough to ‘see’ who you truly are. And thank all those people and things who have turned up in your life to bring you home, be they helpers or hurtful things, they have all given you a guide to that love. Even you over time have felt that it was an unusual moment for it all to come together so many times like it has. Trust it, it comes with a love like no other, so that you can be that love too ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
In the beginning it is all we are…in the end it is what we become. We are down here to become that love ❤️
Just imagine you are given a gift from four different people. The gift is identical from all four.
The first gift is from your partner, someone you love very much and so you show your appreciation by giving a hug and maybe a kiss as well.
The second gift is from a parent, someone you love very much too but life being as it is you may give a quick hug and at the least a smile and a thank you.
The third gift is from a friend, not your best friend but someone you know a bit so you at least give a smile and a thank you.
The fourth gift is from a small child and in this your empathy almost automatically responds with an ‘Oh isn’t that cute’ with a thank you darling and big hug.
They are all different people, yet its the same gift. You are responding according to your circumstances with each of those people and what you have been brought up with. You have learnt over many years of these many different ways with people and how you respond in your love, compassion, empathy and for that matter all of your emotions you have handled in all those circumstances to become who you are.
You are ‘allowing’ through that love, you are measuring it, you are quantifying it, you are the gatekeeper to its doorway, you are even the captain of its river in life.
But you will only ever fully appreciate that love when you have finally stopped measuring, quantifying, gatekeeping and captaining it…because you will finally see that true love is a gift, unconditional in its giving or receiving. After many, many years of gifts, physical or heartfelt, you will finally remove the tape you measured it by, the weights you quantified it with, the toll your heart paid at its gate, and the flow your mind staggered with in its rapids so that after having endured such a bewildering journey you will finally see that you have only allowed that restricted flow because you could not love freely simply because you cannot love you.
Your life has taught you that you weren’t lovable because of those things you were taught by those you loved and looked up to, how could they be wrong. But they were, only because they too had not seen that their rivers were also blocked by all those things taught from those they loved and looked up to also.
We need to learn and experience it all so that slowly we will understand that no appreciation can be met until we feel and understand its many opposites, comprehend it is only our own hearts that measure this world and blocks it by that very same measuring tape. See everything you measure, especially within you, and understand we cannot do anything but by what we know. How can you build love if you’ve only learnt hate. How can you give a hug if it has never been given to you.
Dare to break your heart free, dare to throw its measuring tape that is fear, away. All it takes is that one urge to go beyond what has held you. You don’t have to do it all at once, that is what life is for, to give you time to become that unconditional within you. Grab a friend, partner, cute child and just dare to do something. Even if to just talk, it too has great loving power. Even a child speaks to us without a word being said.
So, what is love? It is all we do…everything all comes from it, to it, and beyond. Eternity has very big, loving arms. Ask God, He will tell you all about it in each breath you take ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
I’ve mentioned a little visitor gracing our area in some comments and decided to share the experience. The whale appeared to just be having a rest or contemplating maybe giving birth on her migratory run up the coast. Either way it was delightful to see such a beautiful creature up close and personal for the three days she wandered around the entrance to the Great Lakes Area. Amazingly most of the time she was swimming in very shallow water and had passed under the bridge which wouldn’t have given much ‘breathing room’ through the pylons either side as she came underneath. Who knows, maybe she had heard how lovely the area is and just had to visit 😀
The following image and link (to video) below is from the 9News site. If you put ‘Forster Whale Australia’ into a search it should bring up many more images, videos etc.
It is such a beautiful feeling isn’t it, that intensity that lets us feel something so intense and magical and wonderful! ❤️
But why is it that we can love so many but never all the same? Why do we love our brothers or sisters, mom’s and dad’s and even some friends, but all differently. Some more intensely, some as distant as the stars. And just to show the differences in intensities, everyone who has a pet is very, very connected to it. Why? Because their are no conditions on it, we are not on guard when it romps, flies, scuttles or slides up to us, we are always open armed , smiling and happy to see them.
So why the difference? Why that hesitancy with some and not others, that ‘on guard’ with some, not others. It is simply our ‘conditions and expectations’ we place on each person. Our love shielded from hurt or pain or maybe even worse, totally blocking what we feel will come from that person.
Ask yourself why, what is it that you feel from each person that makes you hesitate, restricts those bits or…dare I say it…is in you and not them at all. Look at what you feel is a way they treat you…and ask yourself why do I react in that way.
Dare to look, dare to feel and dare to be free. There is a love there that is nothing like any of the above. This love feels the same for them all, not needing to hold anything. Understanding it is only our fears that split our feelings in many pieces, guards what love we give and feel from the pain we think they hold. See it for what it truly is and understand that you are in fact loving yourself the same. Those very restrictions you place on yourself, YOU are only loving each one by those very restrictions you have.
Now find yours and open them. Set yourself free from those bars you hold and you will finally know a love that is no longer a bit but a bounty. Not a ripple on its surface anywhere, simply because you have ‘let go’ what you are holding in you, for yourself, and towards others. Be that love that is struggling to get out, set it free, and finally you will be too ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
In all those things we ever do in this world, nothing comes close to a greater happiness than when we discover something. Let’s say you’ve never painted before and someone says let’s give it a try. You have never done it before so it doesn’t really mean too much but your prepared to give it a go. You start off dripping paint, splashing the un-splashable and outright smearing reality across surrealism right into abstract in five easy strokes…but…you had a ball.
You couldn’t believe how much fun it was to learn this stroke and that, and the ability to really create something from such a few lessons. Some are easy, some are difficult…but they are the ones that make you the most happy because you have understood them and done fantastic things with them. You don’t fully understand it all but as you do it, the more and more the brush feels like an extension of your hand. You can’t wait to do it again, and again. You’ve found something that truly makes you happy. Rembrandt look out, I’m here 😀
Now apply that to your life…all that dripping, smearing and even experimenting all over, again and again, finding rough bits but getting better and better and astounded when you have one of those breakthroughs and create something that truly feels like you. Especially that love that is one of life’s masterpieces, even if it has a tiny flaw that only you can see. And because of that you put it in the backroom because you want to do better. In fact you will do better because that is just practice till you do get it right, do get it perfect, and this won’t be from rote and teachings but a style that is all your own. And it will answer you the day you create that masterpiece that is you.
You will be mesmerized by what you have created, like a dream on canvas it will glow it is that perfect. You have created unconditional love. You don’t even have to touch it anymore, you have achieved life’s purpose and now you can be that gallery of perfection and be on display as the masters always are…you now know that this could not have happened unless all that went before led you to this moment, teaching your heart exactly how to be…just by being you ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
I have just read Eddie’s post, of which I hope he doesn’t mind me repeating here…
“Those who are not attached to life will not fear death. They are more fortunate than those who give life too much meaning. Tao Teh Ching”.
I thought I too was not attached to life and had no fear of death…until on the floor gasping for breath I felt what it was to lose it…and there sprang to life, literally, what it was to actually have that life.
An appreciation was born at that very moment to what it was that I had all around me, a love so profound that it met every need that this conditional world has, so that I could understand its very nature…and in that one act…accept it, and let me go. Yes me.
For I, I of the ego cling to so much so that I can see, not realising that this very act keeps me blind. But that blindness has a purpose, it will truly allow me to appreciate that light when it comes, and understand it in a way no other way can. It is only when we lose something we love that its meaning becomes apparent. Losing ‘life’ is a very profound love not fully understood…until taken.
Appreciate this life, it is a gift indeed ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
I have never in my life ‘projected’ any sort of religion or belief around except my own ‘belief’ of what I feel is there. In fact, in my early years I confidently rejected one and all religions in any form. But Spirit has rocked up and I have slowly through my life realised the importance of that journey so I now project the healing that this gives but never going beyond that…until recently. I have had another quite profound ‘touch’ by God/Spirit to show me something. And the foundations of what I believe are becoming quite fragile. You cannot be touched by something like this and not be moved.
Now I’m still trying to understand this but in my last post ‘Life’ I explained the pain of having all love removed from me and the terror of that feeling. It is the blocking we all do on a much smaller scale in our day to day life by our fears and how we face them and the love that it blocks in blocking those fears. But in that moment on my kitchen floor when all that love was removed from me and the terror of that feeling was upon me, it left me desolate. And I mean desolate it was just that painful.
Well God/Spirit a few nights ago came to me again and said…’What you felt, Jesus took in on himself on the cross…but that time was for all!’.
I can’t stop crying each time I think of it. I know you can’t fully understand because you haven’t had that ‘love’ removed to such a degree…but let me put it this way. When you are in the middle of a divorce or the loss of a loved one, imagine multiplying that loss of love by the millions and taking it all into yourself like a empath, feeling every little nuance from all around. It is only when you ‘feel’ and understand the pain of all those emotions that you are set free and become that ‘unconditional’ love.
I think He’s now very free…and I thank God if I never have to feel that ever again ❤️ 🙏🏽
As many are aware I recently had a rather abrupt health problem a couple of months ago which I posted about earlier in a few posts as it progressed…’As Above, So Below’, ‘To Live, First Allow Yourself’, ‘A Perspective Of Life’, ‘Hope’, ‘The Last Day’ and now this post. Each time I thought it had touched what it needed to for my understanding and resolved itself, but no, another event would take it a step further so that I could ‘see’ properly. Each moment was a step. Each time I thought that this couldn’t possibly go further or I would die. But it did. And in fact the post on this (‘Hope’), touched something that I haven’t spoken of yet as it has done the one thing that I thought wasn’t possible. I have been shown over the years so many things by Spirit that my confidence in my journey is beyond words, simply because I thought that all my fears had been dealt with, leaving me in such a place that I thought even death no longer worried me in any way.
Ah, the minds and ego’s of men. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. I haven’t done this post till now because on the night I almost died I was shown something that I literally could not fathom at all, it went against everything I knew up until now, of what I believed of myself. It was so powerful that Spirit left me to digest it, this was somewhere I had to go on my own because what I saw and felt tore my foundations of ‘self’ completely out from under me. It left me in shock because of what I initially saw, to me, I did not think was possible. In hindsight…I needed to see to understand, to see so that I could appreciate just what is there.
Let me explain, and I will say now that I have had to debate long and hard to even be putting this into words as it can be quite abrupt to many because of what I experienced. But remember, THIS WAS SPECIFICALLY MY JOURNEY and what I needed to see…and possibly because it is what I believe happens in all else in our lives. So remember these following next two sentences as you read further below.
‘All events in our lives have their opposites so we can understand. We cannot know and appreciate happiness unless we know and appreciate our experiences of sadness too, as with all of our emotions in our lives.’
So to now go to the ‘event’…I had waited too long in calling the ambulance and had reached a point where I could no longer speak to do so anyway. (IMPORTANT NOTE: I did not know this but (in Australia at least), I found out later that even if I had my ‘location’ turned off on my mobile phone you CAN still call an ambulance anyway and they will track it back to where you live (or where your currently located at), if you cannot speak for any reason).
So I was on my hands and knees on the floor of my kitchen, I couldn’t breathe but for a very tiny gasp in and out due to my lungs inflaming (from the emphysema), to the point that even the gasp of air had to be forced in and out. It is such a pronounced moment that you can barely think of anything but trying to get some air. I first tried to reach my hand out to ‘something, anything’ to help me…but there wasn’t anything there. What do you reach for to help you breathe? I started to even move out of the kitchen towards its doorway…seeking…what? And in that instant two things happened. The first was…I was thinking this is it, I’m going to die and all I could feel was this incredible loss and dare I say it (this scared me more than anything else that happened)…it was like every piece of love that ever existed was taken from me and left me absolutely rejected and tossed into hell. It was the most horrible thing I have ever touched in my life, I felt that I had not been good enough and there was no other chance at anything. I was done, had my chance and lost it. It was just so terrible I can hardly put it into words.
I do not know how long this lasted for but it must have only been seconds when the next instant hit with even more force than the first. And it was in that moment that God (and I do mean God), touched me with a very profound touch and thought of…I am the giver of Life…and left me stunned as He moved away. Spirit was there but this moment gave such a feeling that I was to understand that the gift of Spirit had shared so much with me but only God had the gift of Life.
Trying to absorb such an incredible moment while barely able to breathe was hard enough but I think the important part was understanding that, like all else in this world there are always two sides. Like happiness and sadness, neither can be appreciated for what they are unless they are both experienced and felt for what they truly are. I have experienced life in so many ways over the years and to now have that ‘life’ taken away has stripped me bare of any attitudes of confidence or knowing or what’s important or not. It leaves you KNOWING that down here is one of the most incredibly beautiful gifts we will ever be given…so that we can see truly the gift of unconditional love. We must touch this conditional side in all that we do down here so we can know and understand unconditional love.
And just so that my ‘condition’ was understood properly, I had very, very slowly begun to breathe again, slowly getting a tiny bit more and a tiny bit more until I felt I’m ok. So I sat up on my heels and went straight into another coughing fit to take me back to no breathing again, even worse than what it was before. To which Spirit said…you are being shown this a second time so that you do not ‘justify’ this event as ‘chance’…life is a gift, appreciate that gift.
Again, I very slowly regained my breath till I eventually dared to attempt to sit up again. After a long time I got up as it appeared that the emergency medicine I had taken earlier had finally began to work (or maybe God’s compassion), and went and sat on a chair and could do nothing but try to understand what I had been shown. Yes, it was terrible, but as I say, on its other side is something so profoundly beautiful. It has taken me a long time to digest something that most never get to see…except those that have survived ‘their’ encounter with death from accidents etc. And even they may not touch these things but I do know this…you are forever changed by touching its doorway, and in that I believe is its purpose. Like all else it gives us an understanding of what we truly do have down here, and will appreciate even more when we go up there.
Please believe me, I now understand better what life is, and what its like to have it taken away. Down here may seem like a hell some days, but truly it is a place in our hearts that we change each day as we experience it in all its ways. It can do nothing but change us each step we take. I was blessed…yes blessed, with seeing and touching something beyond words. I will never be the same…as you will also each step you take. Yes, it does hurt, but its opposite is to heal in a way that opens and allows us to appreciate that love hidden behind our walls. I thought I was impervious to life’s pain…Life had other ideas, so that I could see the beauty that God has given us with a great love, an unconditional one so that we will take those steps to feel and touch that love and happiness we have always looked for ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
It is an interesting thing that fear we hold, and for something that controls so much of our lives it is something just built from a child. For all those inner walls that we build ‘back then’ are only a lack of understanding. Seriously, once you understand it or anything for that matter, it loses its fear for you.
Try it. You get one of those furniture packs…a simple chair for instance…it frustrates you, it can be so difficult to put together, but you understand that ‘this goes with that’ etc. We can get more serious with say a cupboard pack, it tests us a bit more and we can get a bit testy with this one and it will take a bit longer, a weekend or two to understand its ‘five easy steps’….but we understand that it is a beginning and an end. And we will do it, and also because if we read the fine print it says…’This product has been very carefully put together for your enjoyment!’. Hey, what more could we want 😀
But people, wow, they are the hardest to understand. There is a beginning but which bits go where. How can someone think like that, hurt like that, attack like that? Are they seriously wanting me to do that. I can’t relate to all these button pushing, mind wrenching, heart crunching creatures that project themselves in everything that they do.
Hey, I’m glad I don’t do that…I’m just an ordinary me!
But they too we understand eventually, and mostly accept them for all their quirks even though we avoid one or two just to be safe.
But us…yes us. What is it that we don’t understand about ourselves? Never seem to go beyond that fear that lurks at every corner, on guard for its tentacles that seem to appear out of nowhere.
I’ll give you a hint…that child that felt terrified by the way it was treated, that rejection, the pain of not being loved…didn’t know what to do. Could only realise that it must be them, something wrong with who they are…and in that time could only face it by not facing it, covering it over so its pain would no longer hurt so badly and slowly grow into that covering. Not wanting anyone to see that they have this ‘thing’ wrong with them, become someone else than what they truly are, a mask for the world so it cannot see what is underneath even as it too pokes and prods that tenderness that always seems to be in great pain.
And we do it so well that eventually we ‘mask’ like its second nature and even believe that is now us. But we now don’t know why we do this, we have done this living so well of forgetting and denying that hurt that it is now just the actions that we are fearful of. The ‘why’ is barely remembered, if at all.
This is your furniture pack.
Yes, it’s frustrating. And yes, many the time I’ve thrown the screwdriver away in disgust. But the instructions said it was so easy. Five stupid steps and it was done!
Ok, I’ve taken a deep breath, picked up my screwdriver, thrown the 4lb hammer away so that I ‘don’t’ use it instead, and attempt number 25 of reading those five easy steps. Trust me, if you do persevere, do believe in yourself, do think that you can do this…you will. And yes, it does say at step one to undo the strapping first…in our case the emotional ones that bind it. So now you ‘can’ use the screwdriver properly, just take your time. You have your whole life to achieve something wonderful. You know that moment, the one where you tighten the last screw and stand back and finally see it all put together like the magic packs that they are. (ok, I had a yellow bit once where it should have been red 😂).
And you will…if you face it. Inside that wall is the answer, and you don’t need a 4lb hammer either. Tucked into your instructions is a line that says ‘believe in who you are’, and that you can do this…because you can…900 billion people before you have done this. Yes, they sometimes scream, sometimes they do crazy things. But IT IS THERE waiting for you to look, ask yourself why these same painful things always happen in all those relationships, and finally take that step of asking your heart why it cries itself to sleep, hides when those horrible situations arrive or face what it thinks is that place of pain. For in there is the answer, waiting for you to ask it THAT question.
Why do these people make me truly feel so hurt? Why do I react this way? And yes, the answer is in why ‘I’ feel this way, what ‘they’ do is actually done with great love (even though they may not be aware of that), so that you can ‘see’ why…in the ‘I’. When you do finally see it truly, it will leave you speechless because it is all done exactly as is needed for you to find that truth, that love and happiness you have always looked for.
Yes, in there is your freedom, and believe me it is much more than admiring your handiwork after a ‘furniture-pack’ episode. It will give you a love beyond words, finally a total acceptance of what and who you are. This one won’t bite you, hurt you or even think anything odd…because this one is unconditional, you have finally understood it and you can put your emotional screwdriver down forever…your free 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
Our lives are always filled with a ‘need’. You know the one, we try to fix it when we buy clothes, chocolate, holidays and even the big one, that absolute ‘need’ to be loved. But never seeming to remove that empty feeling. Many relationships have been sought to assuage that need. But all those needs have great purpose. That ’empty’ that is a constant in our lives is always asking us to fill it. And as we go through life we are taught the good, the bad and the ugly. Each and every one of them point our hearts to that inner truth that is gently waiting inside us.
If the ‘need’ was not there we would wander aimlessly and not ‘become’ something greater, something wonderful. Simply because we will find that all those things we thought were needed are then put into the ‘experiences’ of life and we don’t have to go there again…er, except for those times where we forget to turn the repeat off. Mind you, I have to admit our fears really keep those repeat functions in full swing…but we do avoid the fears a lot.
But I tell you this, the day you finally see through all those needs because you have finally broke through the fear, the one thing that keeps us in that full swing of ‘need’, is the day that our hearts finally touch a love and peace that lets it all go. Our needs just no longer matter because we have found what was beneath it all, that ‘need’ to be loved, wanted, happy and all those other things that our fears stir within us. When we finally see that our fear was us blocking our love, our belief in ourselves, all because the fear is our inability to believe in who and what we are. That negativity (fear), of ourselves, no matter what it is built on, will not allow us to give us that one thing we have missed and ‘needed’ all our lives…acceptance of who we are. The fear is a condition we place on ourselves, and in understanding it that condition is finally removed and we can then love us ‘unconditionally’ and it is the most beautiful thing we will all touch in this entire journey.
It takes a long time, but that too has great purpose. After enduring a life of ‘need’, when that inner ‘need’ is finally met, the release, the let go, the absolute appreciation of what we have achieved in its true understanding, will allow us to see its true purpose and understand it is all done with a love like no other…by us, for us…the one ‘need’ we have been missing all our lives ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
Merry Christmas everyone, and many blessings to your journey, be it with friends, loved one’s or even on your own. Each and every one of us are indeed being showered with much even though at times we struggle to believe it. But slowly this journey does ask us to keep taking a step, just enough to see around the next corner, discover that we do in fact have a bit more courage, a bit more strength and even realising we have a bit more love of ourselves, the reason we do in fact take those steps.
May that love show itself in each and every stride you take, in each hope that you can do it, and in the faith that each one brings to the next. For beyond it is something wonderful, a touch so beautiful to be beyond words, for as you take those steps you change you…and become that hope.
Believe in you and be free! ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋 🎅🏽 🌹 🌟 🌈 🕊 ❄️ ⛄️ ❤️
A reply to Erika’s post at What if…I only had one day left!
I began to write a reply Erika but spirit ‘touched’ my heart to see something that this moment ‘What if…I only had one day left’ would bring…….
Slowly I touched those many things that I thought mattered. Slowly I released each one as they were accepted as what I had achieved, arrived at or were even created.
But at the end, after touching these things, only one thing remained. An acceptance of myself. Yes, I wanted to live…especially after truly realising what ‘life’ really was and could now appreciate it all the more because of that. But I have no control of when or even how I leave this world except by living it consciously with the love I have discovered in living this life.
So what is left…just me. And it is an unusual thing to not ‘attach’ to something in this world as we usually do. And it is then that I feel a very profound moment…I have always been a part of ‘everything’. This sudden ‘let go’ of ‘here’ is that moment of change, that creating a vacuum to allow something else to come forth. Become something that cannot be achieved ‘as is’, but be created from it.
A new journey, a new way of being, a part of something that has been created in each journey we make. Something evolving…that love, like any love, becoming more beautiful and profound each experiencing and understanding of it within that we feel regardless of that ‘moment’ that touches it. And becoming a part of it again and again, each time more refined.
So…is this that step…into that vacuum. In fact I think it calls me as love always does. It is only this way of being, that holding on to ‘life’ that holds me here…do I dare to ‘let go’…for that is what love is…unconditional. My holding on is in fact a condition. Dare I?
I have touched that moment when I felt there was nothing left, fighting for breath when I couldn’t breathe, realising that there was nothing left but that will to live, fight for ‘life’…and it is a very profound moment. I have a few times now come to this moment where breathing becomes harder and harder and I call an ambulance, each time a little harder as any medicine used seems to struggle a little more.
Emphysema has no master.
But I do…life, and the love that creates it! ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
…continued from ‘A Perspective Of Life!’
‘Another ‘event’ has visited and shown me my foolishness in allowing myself to become that spirituality above this physicality. They are of the same master, in that love we seek, even in the very simple act of breathing does great things come. I had it taken away, my physicality, to make me realise, appreciate, be grateful for that poor creature I have abused, maimed, scarred and even poisoned in my pursuit of happiness. And like those great words have said ‘it is only in losing something does its worth sing the loudest’.’
The above comment was to one of the many beautiful bloggers and others who had been supporting me through my ‘rebirth’ if you will, a very large change that many are going through as we let go the old and bring in the new. Realise our worth is so much more than the fear that bound us within them, and take a step on that new path.
Now most of us may require a little ‘nudge’ onto that path. It may be a meeting of minds that sets us thinking, a new relationship or even a little more impact by facing those fears directly by those very relationships we surround ourselves with. Even when we become ill does our minds seek our worth, asking that age old question ‘why am I like this, what did I do to deserve this?’ etc. And in my instance, and many, many others, we can bring into our bodies those negativities and self worth issues, coming out as disease or even an emotional holding pattern.
My lungs were where I held my past as a child, that connection I broke with my parents as I felt rejected and abandoned to carry it ever onwards so that it would indeed be tested in every relationship I had. Only in that can it be faced or we would forever hide it beneath our beds.
In my 2nd last post (To Live, First Allow Yourself!) I thought I had faced what I needed to see and felt my ‘event’ had been achieved. I gave a reference at the bottom to ‘my connection with God’ not sure what meaning it had as nothing seemed to offer itself as an answer so I was just going to let it go with the flow and it would come in its own time…until now.
So as I have written so far my lungs were getting worse by the day, so rapidly in fact that my breathing was becoming distressed from just walking half a dozen steps. I had called an ambulance on the last two nights and on the third night they took me to the hospital but that just turned into watch and ware exercise. So now I have just purchased an adrenal nebulizer to reduce inflammation and allow easier breathing. This gave me confidence that it would help me to ‘live’ while I waited for the medical reaction to die down.
God had other ideas…notice I say God, not spirit (even though to me they are one and the same).
I was getting a bit ‘chesty’ so I thought I would test out the new nebulizer before I went to bed and hopefully actually get some sleep. Half way through it I could feel a lot of fluid building up higher in my lung than normal and the urge to cough became too much so I did. And went into a spasm of coughing because the fluid just kept coming up. But at each cough the ‘tickle’ urged another and another until my lungs had blown up so bad I could now barely breathe. The coughing just would not stop and I was becoming very scared because it was so bad I could not stop and focus on my breathing at all, it was just a mess and I could feel I was losing the fight. So much so that I turned desperately around to grab something, anything to help me but there was nothing there.
At this moment I realise I am in big trouble, not like in the other post where I can focus and slowly bring myself out of this situation (which I think now was a lesson for what was to come), but in a place where I am now only getting air to what feels like the last inch in my throat. My breathing and heartbeat is so rapid that I fear that neither can keep this rate up or something else will let go.
And it is at this point that I suddenly ‘feel’ that this is a direct link with God, that ‘life’ is a direct link with God, that like all other things they have their opposites so that both can be understood. I was having my understanding of ‘life’ taken away so that I could finally see that horror and truly appreciate what ‘life’ does indeed mean to me without it. I burst into tears (and trust me, I didn’t think that was possible), and let out a sound (and I didn’t think this was possible either), that was so primal, so base to be an acknowledgement or answer to that very question. I then fell to my hands and knees and knew that if I didn’t relax now I was dead. It took forever to even admit that there may be extra air in my breathing and it was very slowly coming back..I was given Hope. And almost broke into tears again and lost all I had done.
At the point where I was almost relaxing another coughing fit hit me and I was back where I was before, but this time I stopped breathing, there was no sound, my eyes were almost popping and I was losing my vision and my head hurt from lack of oxygen and I began the fear all over again. But spirit nudged me with ‘Hope’ and ‘this second time is a confirmation of what happened’, so I began to relax and focus again. Nothing seemed to happen at first, so it tested my resolve to believe, but finally a sound came out and gave me confidence to find that ‘life’ again. It took so, so long, my lungs were on fire, I ached all over. But slowly I breathed.
I will be the first to admit it…I have never been so scared in my life. I cry on and off this day because it has taken that hardened confident ego away, and beneath it is another presence. But this is different, the new that has been created and will now test an even newer heart. What do I now want…if at all. All urges are gone, how could they compare to what I have received. Just, finally, an acceptance of who I am.
I have been through many things in my life, been shown many things by spirit…but to be ‘shown’ something by God will never leave me…how could it. This was His territory, ‘He is the life giver…and He taketh away’ and allowed me to see, understand and appreciate just what life really is…a Hope for us all ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
….continued from posts ‘As Above, So Below!’ and ‘To Live..First Allow Yourself!’
Is it that moment you look into your newborns eyes and feel a connection way beyond words. Cheer on a friend who has finally stepped into their dreams after so much work. That moment your standing at the alter watching your partner in life walking down the aisle or maybe even just by being happy because at this moment life is good…just as it is.
To achieve all of these, and many, many more of these magical moments we must experience what it took to bring them into being. The struggles, the sweat, the physical and emotional toll that they all take in some way as we build something. A hope, a dream, an expression of something that gives us meaning in all that we do.
I have spoken of these in many ways, how we must experience and know these meanings to understand them truly. One cannot truly understand and appreciate happiness unless they know and understand sadness, and on through those many emotions. They are all a ladder that we climb to see higher and higher, that beauty we can see further and further in life with the wisdom that they show.
I am currently sitting at my kitchen table, among the mess that the ambulance officers had swept away to help me through another quite abrupt ‘life’ experience. My body is still reacting to the medicine I had been on until it decided an allergic response was necessary, careening my immune system so wildly that most symptoms I told the ambulance officer left him shaking his head. My lungs are now filling with fluid and barely enough room left to breath. And after our little chat and a nebulizer to ease my breathing I could feel his empathy as he obtains a promise from me that I will ring my doctor first thing in the morning. I shake my head as I realise I’m being blocked again and need to step through this on my own. And no sleep for at least 12 hours as the adrenal rams my heart up, eyes wide open and a shaking like tree.
In the last two hours this had rapidly reached a point where this emergency call had to happen. To even move about I’m literally gasping like a fish out of water and as I had earlier looked up I see I have to go 30 feet to unlock the door to let them in. Do you know how far 30 feet is? And I am amazed at the next thought from spirit…’it just depends on your perspective’.
And in hindsight life is definitely like that..all of it is our perspective. If your just ducking out for some milk, it does not even compute. But right at this moment and your at your last breath, it has all the meaning in the world. If I don’t unlock that door, they can’t get in.
So my beautiful friends, life does indeed come right down to you, what experiences you get from those many millions of miles you travel, and is indeed in return giving its all to you. Each moment changing that little barometer within to seek that ultimate goal of unconditional love we all look for. And yes, it will step on your toes because you only have a lifetime…this lifetime…a bare 60 odd years to achieve so many things so that the beautiful flower within you will blossom and reach for the sun.
And just to make sure I was listening spirit asked me ‘now that you have perspective, what do you want to do with this time that is left you?’. I sit there and ponder…and each and every thing I come to is summarily dismissed as it no longer has meaning. Until I reach one, one thing that had automatically gone to the bin in that first instance because it just didn’t register but now in hindsight it has more meaning than all that went before…this post.
How many people really get a chance to say thank you to all those that gave him perspective, gave him a love profound in their words and care. Told him of hopes and dreams so that he could indeed find perspective in his own. And I have too, in that few feet to my door is a perspective I didn’t know I had. In feeling I was losing life I had in fact gained it, and in that one magical moment realised that it all was built on a love profound, the one that touches us all.
So remember, all it takes is perspective…your perspective to share that love. Each and every moment a jewel is being formed, a black coal pressured into a majestic diamond sparkling to the world. It takes both sides of every moment to see the heights of that beauty and realise the wisdom it shares with us truly.
So my friends, I love you all…each and every perspective of you, the ones you shared with me to make me exactly who I am. You shared something so profound in each moment we were together in heart, mind and soul. And for that I am ever grateful. Even if for but a moment…for there are worlds…even in those few steps.
Oh, and just one more perspective…in all that you do, hold your heart in your hands. It is amazing how much more gently we become in making a life with it out in front to see and feel. Could you be angry at someone who was holding their hearts up to you? Lead with your heart and this world will change beyond what you could ever imagine, and trust me, it is much, much more than 30 feet! 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
…continued on from post ‘As Above, So Below’.
WARNING: DO NOT do the following.
I am an experienced spiritual healer and this ‘event’ was meant literally for me and my circumstances. Yes, it can be done but not without guidance as spirit gave me…otherwise I would be dead. Learn to release your inner pain…and live. The outcome of this and its beauty is beyond words.
The ‘event’ Part 2.
Day 5 after my allergic reaction to my emphysema medication and I begin to feel the tightness in my chest as the inflammation begins and my lungs begin to fill with fluid. The benefit of the anti-inflammatory medicine is diminishing.
Day 6 is the same but now as I try to sleep there is a dehydration happening, dry mouth and throat and the alveoli (sacs) in my lungs are bubbling as the air passes through trapped fluid. The noise my wheezing is making and the vibration at each breath is also keeping me awake. The emergency asthma puffer becomes necessary and more often. And I have found in warnings that the medicine I was on should not be stopped suddenly as it can have an exacerbation rebound effect like asthma attacks (can’t breath, more inflammation and fluid) and because the medicine I’ve been on for so long gives my body the signal that my adrenal gland is not required, it has ceased to produce cortisol and no longer work properly (adrenal insufficiency), which reduces hormones for many functions in the body. It is used in almost everything and it leaves your body in an extreme fatigue. The medicine must be very, very slowly reduced. Well, that won’t be happening after the reaction I’ve had.
Day 7 and I’m really beginning to struggle as I cannot sleep, I have to manually breath out on each breath as the air is trapped in the fluid in my lungs. My heart rate is becoming quite pronounced and because it is straining the odd missing heartbeat is felt quite strongly. The medicine I had been on can cause a slight irregular heartbeat, nothing dangerous but uncomfortable when in my current circumstances.
Day 8 and I have reached a point where I can barely breathe and have resorted to being on my hands and knees on the floor to open my lungs and just breathe. Each time I get into a coughing fit now there is specks of blood in it.
I am feeling spirit around me quite strongly now and I know this journey is going somewhere…but is it I ask myself? For the 100th time, ego wanting a share of the debate. An argument erupts about calling an ambulance, stop being so stupid and go. Spirit calms me by saying ‘this is done with great love’, and I realise that this is what I have been waiting for, my approach to actually face death and what does it mean after all is said and done. And trust me, this is so confronting…life is wanting me to win…but which path is life? I was born into this world fighting, kicking, screaming to partake of it…but now it asks that I release that fight, a lifetime and way of being let go for…for what am I asking?
Day 9. Even just walking from my chair into the kitchen is done at a 95 year olds pace. I puff and wheeze on arriving and the headaches and sickness from lack of oxygen is beginning to be felt. It is now night, I now dread this time from the moment I lay my head down (against the wall, as I can no longer lay flat, I feel like I’ll drown). I am wide awake from the asthma puffer filling me with adrenalin, bug eyed to counting down each minute as the night passes me by. But I suddenly find myself awakening from a fitful sleep and can’t breathe, I go onto my hands and knee’s but its affect is not working. The pain and pressure in my lungs has increased badly and I just cannot do this anymore, I am so, so tired and exhausted …I just can’t. I…just…can’t…do…this…anymore…and finally let go.
And that is what ‘life’ has been waiting for. I had been grasping desperately to hold it inside me, keep it close so that I could breathe and like all I tell everyone…we only create what we fear and in my grasping I had in fact been pushing life away…so that when this moment came and I emotionally let go…life would finally come rushing in and speak to me in words that are built on love, not the one branded by our fears nor the one we guardedly give to the many we do try so hard to love. No, this one is as pure as life itself because I’m going to do the one thing that we all struggle with down here, that ability to love ourselves, to trust our hearts absolutely in something where a fear of failure at this moment is to die.
So I breathe…not the panicked, struggling, fearful, I’m going to die breath, but one where my trust in me is total, and I slow everything down with that belief and it all begins to change, my rushing heart and its syndicate of triggered body reactions change to a calmness of that belief.
And then it happens, I am impaled by a great spear down from above through my lungs into the ground, almost like a personal Calvary(*** see below), and an image appears…and in that one image everything that is my life come together so that I can ‘see’. I am with my mum and dad, and he has hurt me again by his unloving attitude so I turn to my mum for help and she also rejects me by waving me away and acknowledging that my dad is right. And in that one instant of time I bring everything that a seven year old can bring together to reject them both, close off that connection that bonds us all and isolate from that pain. Folding my arms in front of my chest as a sign of that closure and the isolation it portends.
The power in that one action I took and its reverberations is…unbelievable. We are forever a part of everything…but in that stream of life we add something, a rock in a stream, a tree blocking the wind, even a wall to protect our hearts so that we may experience its loss. And in that one action I took on its loss into my lungs, my life giver, the breath that keeps me alive but now distorted by the pain of that grief in the loss and rejection of love that I had had all my life. It slowly took years and years of that grief and pain from that one moment and each time that followed, where I held my breath so see if they said yes to a date, yes to my acceptance and yes to who I am. Each time holding tighter as ‘no’ was created by that very fear I projected.
Yes, I created it with great power. And the body kept its stress at bay physically as it was designed to. But my battle was getting weaker, my body was responding less. All because my fear drove it to its destination, that address we avoid as it lives in the wrong part of town. But now I had arrived. And I could see everything I had built from when I was born to where I now crouched in sickness on hands and knee’s finally allowing life to have its say. So with a great sigh in finally understanding the building of my heart in this journey, its completeness in that understanding so that I could release that pain as it had now been changed, I let it all go because now that I could see and understand it, it no longer had power over me… and incredibly in doing so I felt a firm pop in my lungs, and then a huge in rushing of sweet, sweet air and the let go of pain and tightness and fell to the floor in shock and tears.
I didn’t understand at first, just to breath was such a blessing and I savored it for long, long minutes before my brain engaged and questioned what had just happened. So I sat up and wished I hadn’t…it stopped, the wheeze was back full swing and I almost panicked but I now knew I had been touched by my destination, in more ways than one. So I let ‘life’ live by ‘letting go’ again and relaxed…and a trickle of air came in. So I tentatively moved in a few directions until I found the sweet spot. It wasn’t nice, God most certainly didn’t design me this way, my right arm straight up, twisting around to the right while leaning to my left (and I am not kidding), gave me a flow unlike anything I have ever felt before. The inflow was beyond anything I have felt since I was a child, a seven year old one. Somehow in that one powerful moment of blocking my parents I had shut down a lung. As most people would know, if a lung shuts down it is very painful but I did not feel its pain, just the emotional tightness that the moment gave forever after. I have always been restricted in sports etc and just thought I wasn’t ‘good enough’ to be like others so I just avoided those physical things that required air and just lived with it. And in this one moment of time my whole life has come rushing back to speak to me. My miracle credits had found me, I hadn’t given it the wrong address after all.
And the words it spoke were this…yes, it is all meant to happen because all of it speaks to us. It appears in our lives whether physically or emotionally so that we can ‘see’ who we are and adjust our paths accordingly. It all has something to say from way back whenever, until you die. I could not ‘see’ until it is all done. But at times in our lives it will give us a loving hold of our hearts and say well done for achieving another mountain peak. But I could not be totally free until it is fully understood…but after enduring such things in our lives, only then will its magic be shown and an appreciation of your beauty in doing it for ‘you’ can it be seen. And it is all done with a great, great love.
As spirit told me a long time ago…’as spirit they know everything…but they do not ‘know’ it’. I can tell you what its like to climb Mount Everest so that you will know it, but to actually experience it and ‘know’ it coldness, its altitude sickness, its frostbite…and the great elation of attaining its peak…is beyond words because it can only be achieved by ‘experiencing it’. And as spirit said, coming down here into this ‘conditional’ world is that ‘experiencing it’ to achieve an understanding that unconditional love is. This great trip, stumble and emotionally blocking of those we love and share this journey with does indeed have great purpose, to obtain that summit that life has for us, that incredible touch inside that we are creating inside us as we experience it all and become something so profound to leave you in tears…big, aware, happy tears…and a breath of fresh air, no sweeter thing is that purpose of life ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
This has taken 7 years to build to this moment (well, maybe a lifetime), so many things came together for this ‘rebirth’ to let go of a way of being and to ‘see’ what had actually been in the mists of my fears. I thought I had resolved so many things but in hindsight ‘thought’ was just ego dancing in the rain. But it too was needed to keep me blind so that all would come as it should in its ‘time’ and set me free. At the moment I’m a bit floaty (must be all that oxygen I’m not used to), but it has changed me forever in meeting myself at that one moment when I gave myself in complete trust ‘to myself’ and realised that this is truly what love is. An unconditional one where there is a complete surrender in that trust and accepted me for who I truly am. It is quite difficult to truly explain what happened in that moment…but very simple…as all of love is. It is that undeniable acceptance of who we are, no longer hampered by ‘I can’t do this or that, I’m not good enough etc’, where there is nothing left but our truth, that one that says unreservedly ‘I love you’ ❤️
Do I have emphysema still? Who knows! My breathing is still very ragged but my lung has been shut down for a very long time, I think I have to retrain it to live 😀
Do I still want chocolate? Funny that, when you realise you could be dying…all of these things I thought were important soon left the building and lost their meaning 😀
How do I really feel after this ‘event’? Alive…just very alive! And very, very appreciative of it! And confirms to me more that everything we touch, good or bad, ever guides us to that love! 😀
There is in fact much more was shown in this ‘event’ but will take some time to digest. At the moment I’m just trying to get my breath back 😂 🤣
And to those many, many lovely people out there who have commented at the last post, helped, cheered, prayed, healed, sent blessings, emails and just downright been beautiful…I thank you all from all of my heart. It has brought me to tears knowing this and that you all had my heart. And also to know that you guys are all building this new world, and in that I know it is in safe hands. Thank you! And a Namaste to you all! 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
An important note: I have never been able to tell my mum I loved her until the last few years. My dad had passed away many years ago so I was not able to face that moment with him. And after finally seeing that it was not in fact their fault for their actions, they were just living out what they had been taught by those they loved and looked up to, and also find that love within themselves. So I took great courage one day and said ‘I love you’…and she almost went into shock, the tears were from somewhere very, very deep and I could see the terror in her eyes of what my rejection had caused. It left me with so many emotions it took a long, long time to digest, for us both. And as time went by I can say it now without that nervous lump in my throat and a guilt that fear brings. And more importantly, a very big emotional healing and stress release of all that was bound within it. For many this is a moment to see if indeed your heart has been opened to your truth, regardless of how you feel they may still be acting towards you. It is a defining moment in ‘our’ lives as well as theirs. If a first step is not taken then that is how it will stay and keep you bound within it.
And one last word…it is hard our journey, but the beauty in the rewards is beyond it to such a degree that in hindsight you will see that it was so, so worth it all ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
*** in hindsight spirit wants me to look closely at this particular imagery to see something. A meaning? …in our connection with God? 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
Hey guys, I’m just going to put my soul on the table for a minute or two. Not the real one, just the figurative one 😀
The ‘event’ that I could feel coming on has finally arrived. It has caught me out a bit as I knew it was something to do with the physical side of me but this was ‘out there’. I have emphysema (C.O.P.D) from working in the coal industry and I’ve had a very large allergic reaction to a medicine I was on and it has really sent my body into a spin. The more amazing part has been where I am being blocked in all aspects of trying to heal from the outside ‘medical’ world. Spirit only said I need to ‘see’ something within myself…as in, I am going to have to deal with it myself to go where it needs to.
I’ve had three trips by ambulance in the last year with regard to this as this medicine has made my immune system go haywire and they just observe you for an hour or two and as soon as you say yes to the magic question ‘are you feeling better’ they push you out the door. Even my specialist I made an appointment with has totally disappeared (I thought it was just the covid-19 virus distracting so many at this time so us ‘normal’ sick people just got shuffled down the line but a phone call would have been nice). There is no medicine to replace what I had been using, my doctor has been ignoring me (simply because he can do nothing), and my questions must go to the local chemist to find what the cause is below the obvious ingredients. And it appears my allergy to sulphur (its a preservative in everything (especially food), as well as sometimes part of the healing in medicine), is in my medicine but for some strange reason it has only now decided to react. But strange I think not, as I ‘feel’ it has been waiting for its time in my journey.
And just to really ram home the timing of this event, I had caught pneumonia in june and as I’m also allergic to all antibiotics (most groups have sulphur in them), the only way I could heal myself besides my own hands on healing (and a thank you to Rhapsody for her recent distance Reiki, I slept like a baby 😀), was to reduce that medicine so my immune system could restore itself and fight off the pneumonia (the medicine is a steroid and an immune suppressant to stop my immune system attacking my lungs, emphysema is an autoimmune disease). And you wouldn’t believe it, the really bad constant headaches I had suffered from for years from crushed disks in my neck…stopped. So I went on and off the medicine over the next six weeks and sure enough as soon as I stopped it, the headaches went, as soon as I restarted back they came. I was so stunned that I had in fact been feeding the headaches because of this medicine, not because of the injury. And then to really make sure I was going to go through something and face it bare bones, over the years I found that I was allergic to all over the counter and some scripted pain killers and couldn’t even fight the headache pain. I stopped testing the script ones because the allergic reactions were so severe I just wasn’t game to keep killing myself. For 4 years I have been bringing my brain to the boil for nothing (grrrrr, while shaking head). They kill you while trying to heal you…go big pharma ☹️
Actually that isn’t true, I’m now about to face something that is very important in my life and couldn’t have got here without this journey….I have to remember that. It is what this world gives us so that we can find us, and that love we so diligently search for is in fact through that pain, emotional or physical…otherwise we will never appreciate the beauty that we are, in that very discovery ❤️
I can feel specifically that this is a rebirth, a letting go of the old to bring in the new. I am effectively allergic to the 21st century and I am letting so much of it go and it is an interesting experience to lay at night not being able to breath and ‘feel’ that you could die at any moment as the emergency ventolin is working less and less. Spirit showed me death so that I could see it truthfully and it holds no fear for me (‘The Death’ up on my menu bar at the top)…but I have never actually experienced it (there is a very big difference in its totality), so I’m being shown my mortality as ‘The Death’ did in a way that leaves nothing to question but the way I am facing it by who I am within.
And amazingly, as I am ‘clearing’ myself physically, my spiritual sensitivity flows more smoothly. My inner ‘sense’ feels more balanced. It is like I’m stepping out of my own way even further. Even physically my sense of taste and smell has increased dramatically. Hey, I can smell the insides of a chocolate wrapper from a thousand yards…go figure 😂 🤣
So at this point dear friends, I am doing as I tell all others…I follow my heart, the love that I know I am, and going where my highest good shall be found. In this I am being shown a deeper meaning to the beauty that I have seen and felt. But I do know this, and amazing as it may sound…after seeing so much pain in life but understanding that it does have a great purpose in the love that we all seek, I know that if I was to die (and I do not know if I am), I will go to an absolutely magnificent place…but…I now know that ‘down here’ holds just as much beauty and I would miss it totally, simply because…with no fear it all changes and down here is just as majestical as heaven is…and as I ‘feel’ this a tap on my shoulder from spirit says ‘as above, so below’…we just have to understand it, to see it in our journey. We are given this with so much love because that is its design. It can do no other but gradually show us its beauty, that beauty that is love and within us all…wherever we are.
P.S. I’ve probably built up enough credits for a miracle or two so who knows, I’ll ‘see’ something amazing and heal myself. And shoot, speaking of miracles, I’ll probably get ‘un-blocked’ and can comment everywhere again…see, there is always a rainbow in our circumstances somewhere…and no, I think the chocolate may have to go this time, wherever I am 😂 🤣
P.S.S. If I go quiet for a while I may be having a little chat with spirit for a bit, somehow I don’t think this is going to be a quick journey. Maybe I’ll get to do another trip up to heaven again. I wonder what varieties of chocolate they have, I must ask 😂 🤣
P.S.S.S. If it is my time, keep an eye out for a white feather. I’ll be whipping around somewhere to show you all I can still tickle your heart and bring a smile 😂 🤣
Take care my friends, may your journey give you a few cloudy days so that you will appreciate the sunshine that our world is…above and below 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
Unconditional love is the opposite of total fear.
We cannot ‘know’ and appreciate one without experiencing the same with the other.
We understand and can give love only by the very measure that we understand our fear, and its hold over us.
The day we fully understand our fear is the day we understand unconditional love.
And on that day…something wonderful will happen, something that mere words cannot even express.
But at the very least of all that will happen, we will truly see our purpose…and in knowing it we will allow ourselves to be free.
And it awaits us all. Each step we take, even those ones we think we failed, are for a purpose…your purpose.
Believe in you…have faith in you…it is already there within you, just waiting to be understood…and set free ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
Is it a monster, that dark thing in our closets? Or is it just a pathway through an unknown forest?
That ‘thing’ that we think that we can hold, bound, locked inside from the light…is fighting to break free.
That ‘thing’ is trying to tell us something.
That ‘thing’ is asking us to see something from a completely new place.
That ‘thing’ is a Yin to our Yang.
That ‘thing’ is our life in denial.
That ‘thing’ is a ‘condition’ so that we can learn to see.
That ‘thing’ is showing us how to appreciate life.
That ‘thing’ is helping us build courage, hope and faith.
That ‘thing’ is a series of very profound events.
That ‘thing’ is in fact given with a great love.
That ‘thing’ is the very thing that will guide us to our light.
That ‘thing’ is the gateway to our freedom.
That ‘thing’ is asking us to recognise our way home.
That ‘thing’ is an emotional map, we cannot truly ‘know’ what love is, without first ‘knowing’ what fear is.
That ‘thing’ is the pathway to unconditional love’s true understanding.
That ‘fear’ is enfolding us in its arms, so that we can ‘know’ the beauty that we are.
Know it, respect it, but most of all…listen to it. It has a secret to tell, and its wisdom will set you free.
❤️ 🙏🏼 🦋
When you are younger and trying to learn to drive a car, you focus on it day in and day out. Studying the rules, practicing driving, nervous and unsure as you hit the wrong pedal or button…again. So focused on this are you that wrong turns are common place, missing the odd stop lights or pedestrian crossing, and even forgetting to put petrol in your car, engine suddenly conking out. And always on guard for that ‘other thoughtless driver’ that may crash into you. But as time goes by you get better at understanding all those rules and regulations, you can see why they are all in place, and it all becomes second nature. And as time goes by barely a thought is needed now, as it is fully understood.
Fear is the same.
This world will give you many nervous moments as you learn to drive ‘your’ car, it will put you in many situations so that you will get better. A stop light here, a corner there. Many other drivers crowding your road who are all trying to do the same. Blocking a movement this way or that, and sometimes cutting us off. We will even forget to fill our car occasionally as we focus on so many things.
But they will all give us something that will bring about something very, very loving and powerful. They will give us understanding…of us. And because you have understood fear, you have changed it. And we too will barely give it a thought…ever again ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
Hi to you all. I’ve had a few hiccups with my site so I’ve just grabbed a new theme to see if it ‘shifts’ anything.
This may happen a few times over the next week or so, so don’t panic if you suddenly can’t even find my site, I may just turn it off a few times to get to the problem.
If not you will find me on the beach watching the dolphins 🐬 and whales 🐳 , word is out that the albino whale (Migaloo) has been seen coming up the coast ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
For anyone wishing to see Migaloo and read of his details, go here . The video’s are down the bottom of the fact sheet 😀 🐳
The short video’s play one after the other and I think in the 3rd video there has been an albino baby spotted around our central coast area. I think Migaloo senior has been…ahem…busy 😂 🤣 🐳
This post was triggered by a post Mary’s Room over at SaaniaSparkle the lady of philosophy. Her story asks us…what are the ‘senses’ really within us. And I went to reply but my answer soon turned into a post so with thanks to the young lady…
The ‘senses’ are most certainly beyond mere words, the brain is wired with so many personal individual associations as well as that inner being who is a ‘sense’ organ all within itself.
The ‘I feel’ that we all use 24hrs a day is so much a part of us that we give it no heed, not realising it is the very thing we use when we ‘feel’ uncomfortable when we are somewhere but no obvious reason or feel danger but nothing is there.
We are a ‘feeling’ radar and sense so many things, hence why there is so much pain in a relationship breakup. Hey, its just two people going there own ways, why the pain. Simply because we have integrated who we are with another. We aren’t a contained unit, pack our bags and walk away. We have ‘become’ something that is shared in so many ways.
Our energy of senses and feeling are who we are, the human ‘being’ who is built this way so that we can adventure, feel, sense and experience all that this world gives and become something more, something greater than what we were. By experiencing the conditions that this world is, we learn to release them and become something beyond the black and white of the books, we reach an inner place that is happy, at peace and a beautiful love because we have felt our own pain, understood it and in releasing it have completed the journey by finally loving ourselves in that understanding.
And in doing that we are now totally open and ‘feeling’ everything, no longer any fearful walls to snag on anything and hold its pain because we have cleared any blockages and can now ‘sense’ everything…and glad to because everything before was filtered by those fears.
And once cleared another world opens, and it can ‘sense’ a hundred times more than what went before. The colors of a butterfly now become amazing, its fluttering takes on new motion…and the integration that we are now becoming…is a whole new world because we can now ‘sense’ the butterfly AND the flower AND nature AND us, all a part of an amazing, beautiful sensory organ that to put into words would belittle it.
I never used to understand the ‘I AM’, it was always the…I am tired, I am running, I am singing etc, etc. But once I experienced my journey and found and understood the fear that held me back, I finally realised it was a very profound acceptance of who I had become…because of all that.
I now ‘feel’, and that really means I have become, the ‘I AM’…it is an amazing adventure from the beginning to the end using all those ‘senses’. To be so conditional in so many things which actually creates the unconditional we always ‘feel’ drawn to, that constant feeling of wanting to be happy, to be loved and at peace within ourselves is the ‘I feel’ that is as natural as breathing.
I suppose it is like being madly in love with someone, putting that into words is not as easy as it sounds. Our words explain much, but our feelings, our senses, are so much more.
Wait till you love yourself…that ‘feeling’ is beyond words ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
If the wind didn’t blow…how would the tree’s grow stronger?
If the fire didn’t burn…how would that renew much of nature?
If the rain didn’t flood…how would those pastures restore their fertility?
If the earth didn’t break down…how would the mountains crumble to build the land below?
If you don’t trip, fall and stumble…how are you going to, emotionally and physically, create that strength, renewal and restoration to build that love within you?
Have faith in your journey. Yes there will be very hard bits, and these are the one’s we always remember. But among the bruises, scraped knee’s and tears to bind them, will be some magic. Some we may not even recognise, but truly we are building something very profound.
On those days when nothing matters while we are looking lovingly into another’s heart, we can eventually do that when we are looking into our own…just by those bruises and scrapes.
How much more beautiful and profound will it be when we want to.
(This following post I shared with Barbara as a guest blogger on her topic of a Magical New Earth!)
This world is a magnificent place, many things coming together to create something so wonderful that we can go out in nature and immediately ‘feel’ its beauty and relax, ground ourselves in its energy and even come to a stop. If you close your eyes it allows a calmness, a serenity of what it is and if your not careful you will drift off into a sleep that Sleeping Beauty would be proud of.
And in this beautiful world is something else that on the surface cannot be seen. We get up each morning groaning about work and what the day will bring, let alone those things that are buried a little deeper and continuously worry us in all our waking moments. But what if I was to tell you that underneath all this is something so wonderful to be almost unbelievable.
It is true. I have seen and even touched it with my own eyes and inner being. It was beyond words it was so powerful. And had left me in tears because it had now built a new hope within, and begun a faith that this journey was not just a series of blind steps to nowhere, but a very beautifully crafted creation that had only one destination in mind. A destination that I had now seen with my own eyes.
But what purpose does this staggering around on this world have but multitudes of bumps, bruises (emotionally and physically), and an alarm clock only ever attuned to begin more of it each day. How can this be even in the same breath as what I had found.
And this was the part that staggered me when I understood. This very place is one of the greatest places to begin that journey and ‘become’ that destination. We begin it by just coming here to see and feel all that it can share with us, and each and every step will ask us a question, ‘who am I’, to which we will balk, run away or contemplate its meaning. Simply because that is our nature, the nature of a magic like no other. It wants to be found, but like all magic we must first believe in it, only then will it begin to show itself.
Each and every moment it is there, even in the simplest of things, to which can be the most profound moments as we realise what had built it. A smile will leave us speechless in its power, so much so that we cannot help but give it back. And this magic is entangled in everything…but up to us to use it in the faith it was given us.
If it is given with an intent that is wrong, by that very intent will it remove its magic and show us what we had now created. By giving from a positive intent it will increase and flow more freely. It is that balance that the entire universe is built on, understand that intent and your magic will be like an alpine mountain stream, clear, sweet and free.
And we will never understand happy unless we have experienced sadness so that we can see and understand them both. As we must do as we go through life in all those physical and emotional things that touch us in our life or with what would we compare them to. Experience is that understanding.
And in our journey we must experience this balance, it is the very thing that will allow us to truly understand the magic we have created within us. We will attempt many things that will build or destroy, and each of these actions build or diminish whatever we attempt. And in each of these movements will it create many magical emotions that will guide us to that inner place within us all. By how it has made us feel will it build within us a magic beyond words. And in each and every moment will it share so that we can become that very magic we have built. It is so natural that it will always be a part of us, and each time building on what went before.
Balance is in and of itself an understanding. You must understand who you are to find that balance. In the beginning your struggling to breath, eat and figure out who this lovely smiling face is that gives you everything while changing your nappy. And it takes many years to begin to realise the many things that happen to you have two sides. Like taking the car without asking has another side that did not seem apparent at the time…but it will when you return the car.
And just to complicate it a little further, you will also realise you are ‘different’ from everyone else, and I mean everyone. Because this very magical environment you live in is also very different from everywhere else. And this is where the magic comes into its own. You will try to integrate and balance who you are in any circumstance. It will juggle, pull, poke and prod so that you can fit…into ‘you’. Even though it feels like we need to fit into ‘them’. More magic.
You will attempt the ‘them’ for many, many years wanting to go with the flow of that mountain stream. But something keeps building dams on it and blocking forward progress. And this too is the magic of the universe. You are still too unknowing and unbalanced to go with that flow. You have to understand what you are doing isn’t going to fit. After attempt 462,837.
So, after many years, you become disillusioned, tired and just plain had enough (and remember this bit because this is where the true magic is). Your heart feels empty after all this work and nothing seems to have happened that remotely feels like magic. But this is where the magic gets serious and can see that you are now ready to attempt something that only belief can give.
An event will now stop you in your tracks, ask you look deeper into those old bits that you had covered over as not working. That place that you have avoided as useless as all it did was the opposite of what you want. The universe taught you that, if it diminishes you it doesn’t feel good and doesn’t open your flow. But here is the dilemma, you have in fact avoided it because it didn’t work…but never understood why.
Let me show you the secret of the universe…just because a car doesn’t have any fuel in its tank doesn’t mean its unusable…’understand why’ it doesn’t work and it all changes, so much so that a whole new world is open to you when you understand it just needs fuel and you can then travel far, adventure far, and touch and feel so many new things…all because you understood it.
Now when you go poking around in this ‘painful bit’ that didn’t work, like before you will feel those bits that aren’t very comfortable and want to bury them again. But be patient, this has been sitting there interfering with everything that you do. You know that because of the weight it has given you to carry because of you not understanding.
Now remember this bit, each and every thing you do understand…you let go of it. You don’t have to do anything with it because you now truly understand it. Its weight is no longer a yolk around your neck. An example…you realise the car has no petrol. You ‘understand’ that if you put petrol in it you can go anywhere to your hearts content. So you no longer give it any thought. You understand it. But if it is broken down half way to your favourite restaurant, it now becomes a weight, simply because you don’t understand why it has broken down. This can be applied to every single thing in your life.
Now back to the painful bit. Dig. And I mean dig because you have used a shovel in your coping strategies to give it a decent burial because of the pain that it caused. You know the pain, one of those magical emotions so that we can ‘see’. It’s just that this particular emotion you put very dark sunglasses on. And for the life of you, you cannot pinpoint the ‘why’ behind it, but that is only because you don’t want to remember because of its pain.
Now here is another piece of magic, the time factor in you burying it and you refacing it is intended to be a very long time. This thing has been holding you down, back and every other thing you can think of for one very good reason. The magic wants you to see and appreciate all that you have been through for this moment. It wants you to understand that this very painful journey is in fact for you. No one else, no ‘them’, no anything…but you.
The weight has made you feel inferior, lower, ungainly, and just uncomfortable as you have chipped away at it for so long. Remember the disillusionment and empty feelings, those negative feelings of self worth that held you from yourself. Well this moment is where all that magic you have created is about to come together and put so much petrol in your tank that you will now be able to travel forever.
Now I will give my ‘dug up’ bit here as an explanation. Everyone’s is different even though they all lead back to the same place in our hearts.
I had as a child ‘feared’ that my dad didn’t love me, and all through my life I ‘did’ so many things for people so that they too wouldn’t ‘not love me’. But what I didn’t realise was I had buried this, I was just being nice to people because it felt good to me and the responses from others. What I didn’t understand (and remember this fear is blocked by a very young immature mind), was the ‘why’ I had it in place. As I got older I didn’t understand my fear or why I would react to anyone who treated my ‘un-lovingly’.
Find your ‘un-lovingly’ in all your relationships. Find that common denominator and you are standing at magics doorstep. Be courageous and take that final step. Allow it was a long time ago and the X on your map may be a little off. But you are in magics ground now, and it will lead you to your X and begin your dig for something that will change you forever, as any treasure will.
And when you finally uncover that last piece of dirt, allow light into this very dark place, you will for the first time in your life ‘look back’ at what created it. And it will shock you to tears because you can finally, truly see what it is, and the why behind all that you have been in this life. And in that one moment you understand. You see why you have blocked it, why you have become what you are, and why it was needed so that you can now understand fully this journey and why you are here.
I have seen faces so profoundly moved in this moment. Hearts suddenly opened beyond words. And the flame…a flame finally lit by a magic that sits quietly within us all, just waiting for this moment to open that treasure and sing. It will from this moment on shine very brightly, beautifully showing what we have become because we have dared this journey to find something so profound…and finally become what we had always sought…that magic within. It is then that we begin a new journey, this time on a very well lit and loving path home.
Barbara asks what it is that I would envision as ‘a new you and a new life’. Actually I know that we will all become a new us and a new life from this magic that is a part of all we are. It will not matter what happens ‘on top’ because underneath it all is something that will renew all that we are regardless.
But if I was to envision anything, it would be that an event has occurred to ask us truly what has meaning for us, to look deeper in our ‘life’ and see that many things that we held no longer seem to have the importance that they once did, and many other things that didn’t have meaning, now do. That is the magic that we have created within us, it is asking us to look just a little deeper and dare to take this step towards it…for us…and for us all to become the change that we envision ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
Just Erick (his story in the post below), and I chatting eye to eye about our magic! 😀 🦜
A few weeks ago in the midst of this ‘nesting’ (Amy’s lovely new word instead of ‘lockdown’) experience, I had a visitor who arrived with great fanfare…and by the back door I might add. His arrival was noisy and I could feel a little distress, so on going out onto my balcony I was confronted (and I use that word deliberately), by the most beautiful bird I have ever seen. And he let me know it by coming straight to me and asking the question…food, wheres the food?
We had had a storm the previous night so I can only assume he had escaped from his cage and decided out here was much more to his liking. And as he had been captive bred he didn’t have a clue how to fend for himself. So I could not see him starve.
I could see on his leg a breeders band so he obviously wasn’t afraid of us humans but I got such strange looks because I didn’t have in my hands said food. So I went in and retrieved some bread and honey as he is a Rainbow Lorikeet even though I have never ever seen these magnificent colors before, and they are a pollen and nectar feeder. And it wasn’t until later that I learned that honey as a food is an absolute no, no. It is the equivalent to letting a child into a lolly shop with lots of money. You are returned with a very sick child…who will then do it again at every chance you give it. They have a brush like tongue to get among the nectar producing flowers to eat the nectar and pollen within them, and eating honey (or seeds) is actually bad for their digestive system and the seeds can actually damage and destroy that ‘brush’.
Well before you knew it he had ‘moved in’ and took over the place. In that one action of feeding it, it now chose to alight on my railing each morning at 6am (and many other times throughout the day), screeching to be fed. They have a very distinct call (screech) that would not only awaken me but every neighbor within half a mile so he had me over a barrel as I had effectively told him I was the chef.
Well after two days of this, one morning I had forgotten some clean water so I went back inside and left the door open. Well, that’s an invitation isn’t it? He came straight in and landed on my shoulder to see where I was up to…is it ready yet? And his inquisitiveness was astounding. Everything within reach was chewed to be tested for food, fun or festivities.
The only time I saw him really come to a stop was when I went into the bathroom to grab some toothpaste one day and he saw his reflection in the mirror…he froze…then after a while a slow threat dance began to keep this intruder away from ‘his’ chef. It was so funny to watch but I thought I had better not do that. He was in a strange world as it was without another intruder.
And during all of this spirit wanted him to be always let outside for what I thought was to hopefully let him learn the ways of the wild and fend for himself. One day he never came back and spirit said he had gone to where he was needed and I could feel this ‘knowing’ of this young child and the beautiful gift that was going to see them through this enforced isolation with the virus which made me feel grateful. I only named him Erick after he left as he was a little magic for me also. Naming him before would have built a stronger connection and made it harder for him to settle in his new home.
So I shall show this young man in all his glory below, just click on the arrows either side of the images to go forward or back, or click on each of the dots below the pictures to go through the gallery. Please excuse the mess and I’m afraid, the blurry shots. He wouldn’t keep still (well, that’s my excuse anyway, plus my mobile phone isn’t a great shooter while you have this fellow bouncing from shoulder to head to keyboard. Amy, now I understand your difficulty in taking pictures of moving targets 😂 🤣 ) 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
When we are in a situation with a friend, partner, family or stranger that we react to, it is only our emotional response to that inner pain that we hold onto so tightly. That bound wall to keep the pain at bay. But because this is so sensitive we react quite strongly or hold it in so no one can see we are affected but eventually explode in anger or tears because it has reached through our walls to touch our fear.
If you respond in anger or tears (whether just internally or externally) THERE is where the fear is. Ask yourself how did that person make you feel. You were obviously hurt but in what way. Did it make you feel rejected…worthless…unloved. Pinpoint exactly how it made you feel…and then take it back to how you felt your parents or those you loved and looked up to had treated you in your childhood. It is there you will find the connection.
Deep inside that child a wall was put up so that this pain could no longer be felt, but it will still hurt on up into adulthood. But we block it so well we forget the ‘why’ because we didn’t want to face it, and as a child our emotional handling capacity has not been developed yet so the only thing they knew how to do was block, put up a wall because it was just too painful. Dig deep, be totally honest with yourself and in there is your freedom.
Now for the nice bit…the day you see and understand that fear will be the day that you realise it wasn’t ‘them’ at all but your reaction to your fear. Once you understand it, it loses its power over you forever. You will see why you did it and realise that it is only your response to a childhood fear that now no longer has any meaning to you. You will also see that your parents brought you up in the best way they knew how…with ‘their’ fears still intact…and treating all those around them through those fears.
When you see and understand that, you forgive them, forgive yourself and all those around you because you realise that they are all only responding to their fears and at that time can’t help it. But you now will understand yours and let it all go, no longer reacting to those things from before.
Out of habit you will now still react but you will ‘feel’ that it has lost its purpose and in fact makes you feel uncomfortable because you now know it is not your truth to act that way and you will begin to change into the truth you have become. And in fact, our fears are so ingrained from a lifetime of ‘being on guard’ to the world, that you will even begin to walk and just plain old talk differently because that old ‘holding pattern’ no longer holds sway.
When I discovered the meaning behind my fears I actually had to learn to walk again. No, I’m not kidding. Once you let go, everything lets go. You become a new person. And you can see that in others, the ones that have been through a very big emotional event and have had to face their fears. And they are so changed even you cannot believe the change in them. That is what is meant by being reborn. Shedding the blocked heart of that old person and taking on the cleared heart of the new, reborn to that truth of what you have now become, no longer living the lie of a fear.
And the thing that still amazes me is, it is only in going through this very thing that we will understand unconditional love. We must first go through a ‘conditional’ love by those very fears. Those conditions that says…I’m not good enough…I can’t do this or that…they don’t like me…feeling rejected, hated, unloved or a million other things.
You cannot know and understand happiness truly until you have felt sadness…cannot know and understand fear until you have felt anger, and as with all of our emotions. None of these can be appreciated until we have felt and experienced their counterpart.
This world is designed perfectly so that we can experience them all. Even now the virus is asking us to look within and touch many emotions that we have never felt before. It is showing us a journey, a much deeper one that will now bring out what has laid beneath the level of this world and ask us…who am I…what do I believe…and face the real things in our hearts instead of the many so called ‘important’ things that are now shown to be just a mask on our feelings.
To touch something so profound can be unsettling but to see the truth of how we have been living all our lives can be a freedom indeed.
Choosing those next steps you take after this event will begin something new. What path has meaning for you? Where do you really want to be? And as you are now beginning to see, even love has a new meaning without a mask.
We have seen this world for all of our lives, now a new one begins. Take those steps that your heart wants, not those that you ‘always did’. You have a choice now, and an understanding of why if it feels threatening and you feel that you are reacting to that choice.
Find your heart, the real one underneath that fear and I give you my heart that underneath it all is a love like no other and it will set you free in soul and mind like nothing you have ever touched before, and this old world will be changed forever…simply because you have ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
We have many reasons for the things we do. Justifications for our many ‘bits’ that we carry in our lives. And they are built from our lifelong fears, those things that hinder our paths in many ways. All of our relationships are built with them, until we finally understand the reasons that they are there.
And once understood our reasons lose their power, on love as well as hate, and we finally balance and become the natural state of unconditional. Once understood it is like discovering love for that very first time, a very beautiful, enamoring of our hearts, but this time of self. Which it is because we have spend our lives being negative of ourselves, to finally remove those ‘reasons’ and love ourselves truly.
We cannot love another truly unless we can truly love ourselves. How can we love someone when we don’t know what it is. Our love to another is always ‘conditional’ of our fears, like ‘do they really like me, will they leave, they’re looking at someone else, and a million other ‘bits’ that are held in our hearts’. Hence all those arguments in our relationships because we project them onto another.
Ask yourself why do I have this ‘reason’ for those many things that I react to in my relationships. What reason do I trigger when this or that occurs almost every time it comes up. And if I am courageous enough, look back at all my relationships to see the common denominator in them all, be strong to want to be free of the hold those ‘reasons’ we have created to justify our reactions. Look behind them and see truly the ‘why’. It is there waiting to be understood, breaking free of their emotional bindings.
Once we see and understand the reasons we hold those negativitie’s of ourselves, we truly see what has hindered our lives. Then we will see it in others and our compassion, and now unconditional love, is given to ourselves and others because we now have removed our ‘reasons’ ❤️
In reply to dear Amy’s heartfelt post Mirrors 🙂
I hated my dad because of the way he treated me as a child. So I put up my wall of fear to block those painful feelings whenever I encountered them in all my relationships as I grew up. I would love them all to bits so that they would treat me the same and not hurt me. And when they didn’t I would blame them all for my breakups. But the truth was…I was petrified in being treated like my father treated me so I projected that by loving everyone ‘with’ my fear by putting all those expectations onto them. And that very thing made them pull away, they couldn’t respond because it was so overboard, so artificial, because it was built on fear…not love.
And we all do this in our own ways, in how we react to those events from our childhood. This we can see in how we have felt hurt, raged with anger or left in tears by those many relationships. They will all have a common theme of what actually triggers them. Not all are the same as mine but they will all be built from a way we have felt we have been treated by those we love and look up to, and the emotional coping strategies we put in place to handle them.
When I was asked by a friend to look deeper and try to understand the ‘why’ I was doing this in all my relationships, I finally saw the ‘why’ after many attempts to understand. And in doing so I went down in a screaming heap. A lifetime of acting in fear, which goes into everything we do, I had finally seen what it had done, what it was always doing, in all of my life. I cried from somewhere so deep I thought I was going to die, it was like the release of a lifetime of grief.
And then I understood, I had blocked everything because I thought my dad didn’t love me. And that was the thing that lay hidden inside me, the thing that as a child was so terrifying that the only thing this child could do was block, put up a wall so that it didn’t hurt so much. Even to such a degree that we actually forget the reason why because we are so immature at that age, we just want the hurt to stop. We just don’t want to look at it because of the pain that it causes.
Our journey has but one purpose, to find that inner truth through that fear. Because in there is an appreciation of what we have endured, an acceptance of the fact that we are in fact lovable, are beautiful exactly as we are and in removing the conditions of those expectations, will finally find that love and happiness we have always looked for…in ourselves. We had thought all those unloving and negative thoughts of ourselves obtained from out childhoods and brought them kicking and screaming all through our lives, and in finally seeing that they were actually built on a lie, an accidental reaction to those we loved and looked up to, we are finally set free of their bindings and allow our hearts to finally love unconditionally…especially to ourselves.
And I say accidental for one very important reason…those you love and look up to ‘still had their fears from their upbringing in place when you were born’ and could only love you with their fear twisting how you were raised. Imagine what you have accidentally passed onto your own children simply because you know no better. How many times have you heard that comment ‘you are just like your mother/father’. It may be terrible but remember, it is through that oh so hard journey that you will allow your heart to be set free, find that unconditional love and happiness we have so longed for all our lives. It must be endured to appreciate who we have become ‘because’ of that very journey.
I asked spirit about a solution I had come to, to repair this situation to bring the world to a much more loving and beautiful place without all this fear emanating from everyone. I thought that if I could bring into every school a counseling to all children to heal all of their pain and fear so that all could have a balanced life. And the silence from spirit was deafening. I thought, I must need to see something here, understand something that isn’t quite so obvious. And after a while it dawned on me, could you actually imagine going into a school to heal the children but not the parent’s. Could you then imagine going to these same ‘fearful’ people and saying you are not bringing your children up properly. Imagine having that said to you, that your child raising isn’t good.
It was then that spirit finally spoke and said, ‘This journey is like all else in this world, you must see and understand hate so that you can understand love, see and understand sadness so that you can understand happiness, and so with all of your emotions. That balance must be felt, experienced and understood so that finally unconditional will be your world.’
It was then that I felt the meaning of life had been opened in my heart. I had been given something so profound that I was at a loss for words. Truth does that, it touches so deeply that we ‘know’ we have been touched by it.
So my friends, may that angst, that so hard emotional journey finally set you free. But remember, at the peak of its pain you are standing at that light of understanding, it is almost within your reach even though you may wish it would just stop. It is pushing you so that you can ‘see’, can reach a little further and touch the one thing that will bring you out of that darkness and in its understanding break through that emotional wall and finally see what is truly on the other side…an unconditional love that any words would belittle, simply because its beauty is beyond words. And it will now be all yours ❤️ 🙏🏽
My return reply to Scottishmomus’s bullshite-and-empathy
It is very simple Anne Marie, and also quite profound. You have been brought up to be a caring, loving person. Simply because that was what you were shown or its your reaction to what you felt was the opposite of that, being brought up by those you love (sometimes mum, sometimes dad, or both), who you feel have treated you rather poorly and so you try to compensate for that.
And then we project what we are out into the world. You want the world to be a caring, beautiful place…but along comes those that (and as the song says), ‘shat’ on everything they touch and practically force you to live in it.
Your life steps into what it loves to do, teaching, caring, showing and even writing that what you express deep within.
The kids, even though they can be quite draining, leave you with a hope that they have heard you. Will grow up into a world with at least your empathy and care so that you can feel you have achieved something by giving them a start in this world. And they do the one thing in your ‘communicating’ that is an absolute must, it is the other half of communicating and probably the most important bit…is that they ‘listen’.
But here’s the 1st rub, ‘they’, as in those that like to ‘shat’ everywhere…don’t ‘care’ like you do, won’t ‘listen’ to anyone like you, will not ‘try’ like you do…simply because they have not been ‘taught’ as you have or are reacting to their upbringing. In fact, that pride of the world, that thing they call governments etc only attract one type of person…the controller, manipulator…to achieve only one end, to become everything for everybody while feathering their own nest. Every person that I know does not trust them because of that falseness. It is an instant signal they show that puts us on guard…they smile.
The 2nd rub is also very simple, they have been allowed to set up this ‘government’ in a way that they imply your absolute right to make choices by voting. And as soon as you do they then counter that by ‘party lines’ and ‘your choice’ has to follow those lines, even if they are the most honest person in the world. The system is corrupt and I don’t mean just the feathering the nest, I mean morally it is a cesspit.
So you are in fact beating your head against a wall, splattering your hard built sanity into a void of idiots that have absolutely no idea how to apply ’empathy’ because they fear it. They have been brought up in such a way that they wall it up and block its appearance, the exact opposite of you, and focus on ‘their’ ideas.
The only way to ‘live’ in this environment is to come from where your heart is. But to do this you have to let go all of ‘their’ stuff. Just focus on what you believe and give it out. Ignore where they are at…totally. Just give you out to those that want to listen.
And the reason that they win all the time is simply because they browbeat you into submission, screaming and yelling absolute garbage to drown out something that they are afraid of. The only thing that will beat this system is to run for a position that will do one thing and one thing only. Allow the people to have a direct say on decisions that go through parliament, whether by computer once a year on the main topics (that must be stuck by like a referendum). Which can only ever be changed by putting it out to a referendum.
And trust me, the howls from those parliamentarians would be heard from around the world, you would be removing the one thing that keeps that control in their pockets. The money ‘outside’ would no longer have anyone to corrupt to get through their needs and wants (they can’t pay off us millions of people). Hey, for me even suggesting such a thing I might suddenly disappear they are that afraid of this.
Now some sanity. And this can be a little confronting my friend. Those fears that we hold (and I mean all of us), are the very things that drive us in all that we do.
An example: (and I make a great crash test dummy here 🙂 ). I hated my father because I thought he didn’t love me. Fullstop. (I, and everybody else in their own way, lock in whatever their fears are by about 8 or 9 years old. This you can find in all the text books).
I thought I was unlovable so to compensate for that, and in all my relationships I wanted my partner to show that love, I expected them to respond to my overtures (pull out chairs, give flowers and poetry etc), so that I could feel that love…but all it ever did was reach a point that they felt smothered and pushed me away. I had in fact ‘created’ my fear. And we all do it. We ‘project’ our fear by trying to not have it happen.
I had spent most of my life ‘projecting’ because I knew it was everybody else’s fault. How could it be mine with all that I was doing. And this is what we all do in our own ways.
In your case you know you have a great idea, it is fair and gives a real opportunity to everyone to be part of something wonderful. But your great idea for everyone does what my wanting love (also my version), does for me. It puts a lot of people ‘against’ what I am after because it also presses their ‘fear’ buttons.
Now the hard bit, I’m asking you to find that bit in your life that keeps upsetting you. All the ways you feel that you have been treated badly and upsets you more than anything. And this will be in all your relationships, mum, dad, partner, your children and maybe even especially those children you teach.
Your trying to give something but you are not being heard, trying to show something but are being ignored, trying to help but are being shunted, pushed, and relegated to the background.
Which part upsets you, what relationships reject who you are. In there is your answer. That very rejection is the very thing that drains you. You are trying to give from who you are but what you are giving is being shunned. That very thing you are trying to give is that inner core of who you are, it is the love you have built forever and it is being rejected. It is upsetting, it is painful, it is very distressing because you have opened your heart to share something that you ‘know’, and it is given with that love. But to have that ‘love’ slapped back in your face is a shock.
And the drain goes on. While ever our fear is with us, we will always react the same way. It is something that we have anchored into who we are. And each time it rears its head we go on the defensive and it drags us downward some more.
A second thing I will mention here is we are all nervous when we try something new, it is natural to be fearful of ‘new’ circumstances, it is a safety mechanism so we don’t do anything dangerous. So new job, new adventure, new relationship…we tend to be on guard until we get our answers to the circumstance and this allows us to relax, be at ease and no longer worry about that circumstance. It becomes second nature so we no longer give it any thought.
But our life fears have had no answer for years and years, we don’t understand the ‘why’ simply because they were locked into place by a very immature, childish emotional mind. And the only way that mind could operate was to block that horrible fear, put up that wall so that we had a coping mechanism in place to handle those moments that bring it into the open.
But each time that fears raises its head we will do some of the most crazy things…it is the child reactions that we have put in place all those years ago and reinforced as we grew up…but still not understood. So each time we enter that fear, regardless if its a life fear or scared from the first time jumping out of a plane…they all do one thing.
They put us on guard, they stress the body, they trigger the fright or flight syndrome which all does one thing…it begins to fire the adrenal gland. And how do we feel after being frightened or stressed (physically or emotionally), it tires us out, it drains us and leaves us in almost a state of shock if it is a large enough scare.
Combine that with a circumstance like your fight to get some sanity into a governing system that is built like a brick wall, and most certainly your heart and mind will become drained and leave you with a feeling of hopelessness.
Just remember there are ‘natural’ fears and there are ‘built’ ones. The natural ones are more brief, easier to get over and leave us wiser because we see and understand them. It is the built one that constantly drains us, as we never understand the ‘why’ of our reactions.
Now my fear, once I understood what drove it, became like the natural ones…because I understood it. And like those other natural ones, once understood they no longer have purpose and they lose that power over us. I can see that I don’t have to hold them anymore because they are no longer a danger to me.
My dad did love me…in his own way, simply because it was all he was ever taught. And even if he was the biggest heathen on this earth, he still did not know how to love any other way but what he was shown by his parents and his environment. It didn’t mean he was wrong…I thought he was. It didn’t mean he couldn’t love…I thought he couldn’t. It didn’t make him not my dad…I thought that. And I dragged it all kicking and screaming into my adulthood trying to make everyone else fit the bill. It is always at ‘my end’ that I have to deal with.
Note: After ranting and raving about how bad my father was to a friend one day, she slowly turned to me and said: ‘he’s been dead 13 years, who’s holding onto what and causing you grief?’
(I wouldn’t speak to her for weeks….but dammit she was so right 🙂 )
Once I finally understood, everything changed. And I mean everything. After seeing what I had blocked all my life, after that final admittance to myself that he did in fact love me, the ‘let go’ of so much that I had held inside, I began to ‘see’ the truth around me. I was so focused by eyes that were shuttered by my fear that in that ‘let go’ I finally saw things that were tarnished by those beliefs and realised I was living a lie in everything I did it was that profound.
And once I saw that I also realised that there was soooo much stuff that I was holding onto that was just rubbish. Worrying about this or that and now realising it was a safety mechanism. Gave me something to focus on…so that I wouldn’t have to face those things I didn’t want to.
And over the years afterwards I have become new. I have ‘created’ a new life, something so much more natural because it isn’t forced, no longer built by those fears and the reactions that it triggers. Shoot momus, I even had to learn to walk again because of that ‘let go’. You relax for the very first time afterwards but your legs (and the rest of your body) is so used to being a certain way that it now ‘feels’ so different.
Oh, nearly forgot, because of that ‘let go’ the rest of the world no longer matters. Yes I care very much about it all and those in it…but…I did me first (finally), found what was wrong with me and healed it…otherwise I am only giving out that bent fearful version and actually adding to the cacophony that is already there. Do me and then I can give out that healed loving version.
Once you see and understand those fears that we hold, we then realise that this conditional world is here for a very important reason. We must experience and feel each opposite feeling or to what can we judge each of those individually by? It is that journey to touch, feel and understand all those opposites so that the good and bad, the happy and the sad, the joy and the anger and many other opposites all have one very distinctive purpose. They show us…us. They allow us to experience, feel, reason and argue until that wall we hold loses its argument with us and it comes crumbling down. And we finally see a love and empathy that it has blocked forever…inside of us. And in doing so we realise that much of what went before was a great teacher but the wisdom we have now gained no longer needs those things so they are released.
And with that wisdom, and because of all that has been experienced, we can now see it within others because of their thinking and actions. And in the beginning we try to help them through this world to reach where we are (like the children in your classes…you know, when you finally see that light go on in their eyes when that type of math’s problem gives them that aha moment), but the beauty of it is that they can only hear what they are ready for so that the adventure is a very personal, achievable, and oh so loving thing to break through and realise that it is you and you only that has created this beauty inside. No one else can be blamed or interfere because of that…and that only allows one thing to happen, a love and belief in yourself.
That ending is perfection in itself. And all because you have endured a great journey, achieved something against some of the most tremendous odds, believed when there seemed to be no ending, and found a treasure that when you finally see it, will bring you to tears. Not painful ones from a tearing heart, but ones that finally are built from a love that finally see’s a light where none had been seen before.
Become that light and it will shine out as a beacon of truth forever and attract accordingly.
I look forward to Prime Minister Momus and finally someone I would vote for gladly, someone who has that light that gives hope for the future, simply because I can see her heart and know where she has been to find it 💜
After reading a post on empathy called Opinions from a lovely lady across the big water, I decided I would throw in my journey with empathy and how it affected me over the years.
Empathy…it conjures thoughts of being at one with another, ‘feeling’ another’s heart by connecting and understanding what they are going through…and sometimes whether you wish to or not.
For those sensitive people a ‘connection’ can be like someone pulling a plug and that feeling of being drained with each step you take when you are with someone.
Now personally, because I can feel the energy of another, it was like that plug pulling exercise. Each time that I gave a massage to a client it would range from a zero to crawling out of the room at the completion feeling like I had been hit by a truck (they of course felt fantastic).
But as time went by and as I faced and understood my fears, that draining empathy while connecting to another receded until it now very rarely raises its head.
Why? I can still ‘feel’ another, in fact it is now very high. But as spirit guided me through my fears it soon became plain that those very fears were the culprits. They act as a magnet. We project those fears and actually create them by our actions, whether physically or emotionally. And in doing so we automatically attract that very energy back to us.
We open ourselves to others to help and guide which in itself can be quite emotionally draining, but while ever we are holding our fear we never quite truly ‘open’ . There is a reserve, a protection by that very wall we build to keep us from our fear, and that very thing is amplifying the drain we feel.
Now I must jump forward to explain that last remark. It is when I finally faced my fear, saw it and understood it, that it was finally let go. It had lost its power over me. And then a strange thing happened. Because I was no longer ‘holding onto’ those fears…I opened…and I mean opened. Each time I faced something that used to ‘hold me’ in its pattern, it now had no hold at all. To start with, out of habit, I would go into my old ways of dealing with things…but it was just that, a habit. Each time now I am not ‘holding’ anything, so each and every time I face anyone who is stressed or emotionally upset…there is nothing for it to hold, I am no longer a magnet to those emotions.
I, after so many years, was set free. I had released myself from that emotional pain by becoming fear free.
It is an amazing thing to stand with someone, feel the upset and emotional mayhem…and no longer be touched by it. Don’t get me wrong, my heart does go out to them, great empathy is generated from sharing such a moment. But it is now unconditional. I removed those conditions we place on ourselves from those fears. Those very things hold us in so many patterns so we cannot be hurt by them. But those very actions draw them, with great love (even though it is painful time), to break us free from their hold so that we too can be free, free to give from a well that is now always full, no longer restricted and fully open.
Let me put it this way…while ever we are carrying stuff, physically or emotionally, we will struggle even though we can do many other things at the same time. But while ever we are free, we will relax, be more at ease, more open simply because there are no other distractions draining our focus.
While ever there is a restriction in our lives it will act like those plugs and drains…restricting all that we do. When we clear those blockages, remove the plugs we have built, it becomes an open channel with nothing to hinder any flow that comes through.
Be free, clear and flowing…your heart will thank you for it ❤️
This is in reply to a lovely post by Trini, Come into the light and her beautiful energy drawing many to her that not only take advantage of her but can cause great pain in their actions.
Mind you, she has a heart of gold so why wouldn’t everybody be attracted to a calm in the storm, someone who made them feel good about themselves even though they are in great pain emotionally themselves.
And being attracted ourselves to people we admire is the other side of that balance, to have someone who inspires us, gives us heart to take those steps to achieve our hopes and dreams.
A trick I learned, is in being brave enough to stand in your truth around everybody, only then will we attract like people. All else we attract will only test those fears we hold deeply. But that has great purpose, to break those walls of fear and set us free. Without those ‘bad’ people we stay in that cocoon of fear forever.
It is with great love (even though it causes great angst), that they are attracted to us so that we can, with great courage, face them, slay them, and become that beauty that unconditional love is.
We just have to crack that cocoon, become that transition to a butterfly and become the beauty that it creates. When we finally see and understand what is beyond that wall…it will amaze, bring us to tears, and in its understanding we will love the beauty we have now become…because we can finally ‘see’ why we had to go through what we did, and what we have become because of it. A balance of that inner light.
May that inner love always call you, regardless of its disguise ❤️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝
“What you seek is seeking you”
“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form”
“There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don’t you?”
“Start a huge, foolish project, like Noah…it makes absolutely no difference what people think of you”
“When the world pushes you to your knees, you’re in the perfect position to pray”
“Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open”
“The universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you already are”
“Forget safety. Live where you fear to live”
“Take someone who doesn’t keep score, who’s not looking to be richer, or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality: he’s free”
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
“And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?”
“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.”
“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes.
Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.
It will not lead you astray.”
“The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don’t go back to sleep!
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep!
People are going back and forth
across the doorsill where the two worlds touch,
The door is round and open
Don’t go back to sleep!”
“In Silence there is eloquence. Stop weaving and see how the pattern improves.”
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
“What you seek is seeking you.”
“Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”
“Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.”
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
“Silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation.”
“Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.”
Our awareness can open on us at any time in our lives. Those times when we are working on something and that light bulb moment will touch us and give us that feeling of elation and happiness because we have understood and completed something, especially if it has taken considerable effort and been very difficult to achieve. And there are many moments in our lives where these wonderful things have happened, giving us more confidence in ourselves and an ability to set our goals even higher, to test us further in our journey and the happiness we seek.
But there is another awareness in our journey, one that may not be as obvious. One where it will touch us but we may only realise it as a happy moment or ‘just one of those things’ and let it go. They can be a ‘moment’ where we seem to come to some point in our lives where we feel this ‘synchronicity’ or ‘coming together’ of an unusual set of circumstances, leaving us feeling quite emotional in some way.
Like the moment where you meet someone for the first time and their energy on meeting can be quite profound or helping someone out even though it may seem something simple but will leave you feeling touched by it in that moment or even days later. These are those times where we are ‘touched’ by something else but tend to let them go because we are not sure of their label.
And as our lives go on and we are faced with more profound and quite difficult things to go through, those awareness’s take on a more subtle but also more lasting place in our lives. As each emotional battle is raged in our lives from breakups to facing the walls that they leave, something else is taking place in our hearts. The emotional turmoil asks us to judge and weigh our every decision, to find that balance so that we can become that happiness we have always sought. But with what do we judge it against? With what do we compare those emotions to?
Those many scars inside are an encyclopedia of those many things we have faced, and among them is the love we have built from those broken places mixed with the delight and wonder in those happy times as well. And our awareness created from this, is life in the many parts that we play. Each and every time we are faced with something that love is brought forward to ‘see’ if it has worth and measured against our own hearts to see if we find ourselves worthy…or not. To test it against where we are now at within our journey, especially that wall we hold to stop the pain in our life, in those many trials and encounters we face. And in those times we struggle, each time covering the scars with a new layer trying to find a way past what didn’t work before.
But the measurement is fixed, even though we have changed in so many ways before. It is asking of us to see but one thing and one thing only. To ‘see’ the awareness of what our love is built on, to really look deeply into those many scars and appreciate what our journey has entailed and built stronger and stronger within. To ‘see’ that we are in fact worth so much more than the walls that we build, understand that those many scars are building an unseen pathway in the beginning, one that is leading us slowly towards that very wall we hold between us and life. Until with much courage, we are finally at its front door, hand raised to knock and ask ‘why’ are you being held out, blocked from the truth of life being held behind its walls.
And in that very moment an ‘awareness’ will descend and touch us with an understanding of all that went before, from the love and awareness that had been built to now raise a blow to open that wall and finally see the truth that had been blocking each step in our lives. For in finally seeing and understanding what created that wall, it becomes powerless, rendered from concrete to dust in that moment of recognition.
And after that wall is removed by the courage, scars and love we have built, a new awareness will have been created, one where we will no longer have to measure anything, because we are now beyond that fixed conditional wall that we had before. For in its removal is created something that has no measure, has no boundaries and is as unconditional as the love it now represents. You have now become that ‘awareness’, no longer being ‘touched’ by it at different moments, but now living and breathing it in its entirety.
The peace and love that you have now become is no longer tempered by any hammer or blow because they no longer have meaning, for love is a shield by the very understanding of its nature. It is a total giving, rendering all negativity powerless.
You are now that beautiful awareness, no longer held back by anything. Standing in its truth is the achievement of enduring life’s meaning…to be conditional, so that you can understand it, bring its walls down, and becoming the unconditional we are meant to be ❤️
I find that if I’m with someone I trust, I can talk about my fears. This has the purpose of helping me to find out why I have these fears in place, understand what is the driving factors behind them, try to resolve them, and release them so that my life is more balanced and not being driven by those fears. (You will be surprised just how a fear really integrates itself into your life 🙂 ). But in doing this you must be gentle with yourself. We have small fears and big ones. The big ones are usually what is called ‘life’ issues and should be dealt with, with someone who can really support you through such a big event. (Mind you, the universe will put exactly who you need in front of you, to go through it).
They are very life altering on going through these events and should be approached with that in mind. My biggest event that I went through was with a nice lady that I had only just met…but she was the right person for it…and she helped me to look deep inside. I ended up on the floor crying my eyes out and releasing the most incredible grief, of a loss within myself, of actually not loving myself because I didn’t believe I was worth it. (And on the surface my fear didn’t seem to have anything to do with that.) And the result is something like, suddenly finding out that your parents aren’t your real parents or without warning, your partner, the man/woman of your dreams, has just run off with someone else.
Your whole life suddenly seems like a dream, no reality, because you have believed something so solidly for so long which has now been pulled out from underneath you. You begin to try to rationalise it within yourself, but initially it is very difficult because you have nothing to now pin your life to. The foundations have been removed and your walking around in a daze. It is then that you realise that this ‘fear’ was holding up so much of your life, in such a way that it was totally a part of who you are…and it is now gone.
You are left with this emptiness. A part of who you were. But…in its place…is the realisation that it is gone…that ‘on edge’, ‘on guard’, ‘always ready’ feeling that has always been a part of who you are…is gone…left the building. Your left feeling quite tired, emotionally spent and not very focused. And a period is now needed to digest this, and balance yourself with a long period of rest, and I’m talking months, or even longer here. We’re talking about the removal of something that has been a large part of your whole life, something from childhood, and to recuperate from something like that takes quite a while.
But in that process you will come to understand what that fear did to your thinking and actions in your life. And in its place will be your decisions based on what you now want out of life. What now has meaning, and what doesn’t. Allow yourself to find ‘you’ again and begin what you will now find is the ‘truth’ of who you want to be. Find what has meaning for you…and release those things that were only propping up the fearful you. The change can be quite dramatic, and most people find they now swing a bit hard in the opposite direction to where they were, but this is usually only to find a balance from where they were previously coming from. This will gradually come back to a ‘middle ground’ for you.
These events always teach a very big lesson. And they will nearly always come back to how you feel within, about yourself. They are put in place and built on, even though we avoid them, and really integrate them into our lives. (In reality this is the Law of Attraction, we are always thinking about them, as far as the universe is concerned, THAT is the sign we hold out in front of us all the time so in the total love that the universe is, it gives us what we need, the love to go through those fears). And as such their impact is quite strong, so that when we finally go through them it is a very big event. But there is a reason for this…if you go through something and it is easy or doesn’t test you in any way…you will forget it by the next day or the one after…but if it is a serious test in who you are…it will leave an imprint…and that imprint is to realise your connection with that love within and the total self worth that you have now discovered.
It is that realisation of that love, and the realisation of that connection within, that now builds that new relationship with yourself. Which in turn is now how you relate to everyone else around you. You are no longer coming from a place of fear, an untruth, a complete projection of something you are not. You have now reached a place that is clear, and can now build from a place of truth, a projection of the real truth within, with the confidence that creates. The change is quite dramatic and you will see it in people who have changed around you because of what they have been through to come to that understanding.
If you find it hard to believe me…(and I mean this seriously), go up close to your bathroom mirror, look into your eyes and say ‘I love you with all my heart!’. You will look or swing away, laugh or even just pull a face. Even not be able to do it at all…especially if someone else is around.
And that says it all. The day you can do that, and believe it, is the day that all your fears have been dealt with and you are now free, and understand what unconditional love truly is within.
May you find that place within, and be the beautiful being you are, for all the world to see.
But most of all…let it be for you! ❤️
The following is something that I found in my draft folder in my move across to my new site here. I had tucked it away 3 years ago because it was missing something. I know it looks like something I would write but I have this strange feeling that it is something I have copied (or at least a part of it and I’ve added to it), and was waiting to get copyright to it. From a spiritual sense these words have come through from a ‘knowing’, those words that come through us , I can feel that depth in its words. I had hunted all over the net to find even a piece of it but it would not be found. As soon as I found it in my folder again spirit said it should not be hidden in the darkness but see the light of day. It’s words are too profound to be silenced.
If this is someone else’s work please let me know so that I may obtain proper permissions and attribute copyright to its rightful place.
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
And out of the mouths of those few in the world who have great fear and ignorance in their heart, came forth a greed that is insatiable.
In constant movement, forever seeking to sate that fear within, but only building it bigger and stronger in each morsel it takes, only satisfying an instant in time before wanting more.
And in each movement it takes, the rope gets longer and longer, slowly becoming a weight that we all must hold.
For that rope is our acceptance, whether consciously or not, allowing them more and more room for their fear.
And our fears hold us from standing in our truth, allowing the ropes in this world to extend further with each denial we give ourselves.
And as each second goes by, we are tested, as that balance within asks of us our truth.
Must we stay in this pain of un-love, this life of subservience to the fears of ourselves and others.
Or do we love ourselves enough to stand, release the ropes that bind us, and in doing so, find a truth that we deny ourselves.
For in our hearts is a key, to love ourselves enough to stand truthfully and deny what binds us by those fears.
Choose, for in that journey we can become what they project, be subservient to their greed, and allow that weight.
Or love ourselves enough for us, our children and our future, to become our truth by denying their fear.
Ask your heart, is this me?…or the wishes of another?
What is my truth?
This will always be the question until that love within is released, by being that love to yourself…and finally you will see.
By beginning to create a world that no longer accepts their fears, by destroying ours, no longer holds the ropes of others, by releasing our own rope.
Stand in that love, it will save you, others, and a world that deserves that freedom too, no longer controlled by the fear of a few.
Stand and I will stand too, together we can build what we have forever looked for within. Break that cycle and stand in your truth.
Become the beauty that you are, and re-build this world from the discovery of that love within.
Believe in you and what you want to become…a rope less world, and a freedom like no other.
Be that love…your love!
Ok, this is my first post at my new blog address. Welcome to all that have followed me over, and to those that have just popped in 💜🙏
It is a little clean over here as I was unable to transfer the ‘likes’ , ‘like’ counts on comments and ‘followers’ for some reason. But I was happy to at least get all of your comments on the posts. And I’m still trying to get all of the heart emoji’s to work, which are still coming out as <3 (short code) everywhere. I’ve gone into the settings and ticked to convert the short code into graphics but it refuses to do the heart. I’ve now loaded a plugin for the emoji’s so I will at least be able to add to future posts etc. Maybe I have to look into my own heart a little deeper to express it more clearly ❤
And I pray fervently that this post does not end up in some place ‘out there’ ( unless my higher self wishes to have a peek ) 😀
My old blog site was wobbling quite a bit, to the point that I couldn’t answer a comment, like anything or even sing from my mountain top.
Please let me know if anything isn’t working as I’m still getting used to this setup.
May this journey be with much love, happiness and a ‘like’ click that works 💜
To understand our lives. It is one of the most simple and exquisitely beautiful things we will ever touch on our journey. When achieved we will stand in amazement as its meaning washes over us and the bars of our self built cages will break and set us free.
All of life is a cycle, whether it be our first time at something and the nervousness and fear of facing up to it, to our very laid back approach because we have now faced those things and now understand them because of those experiences, slowly building a confidence each time they are faced.
First time at a sport, driving a car, climbing mountains, singing (ok, it never was my forte 😀 ), being a Mother or Father, and on and on with those many, many things that we face through life to eventually be better, more understanding and even a pride at achieving those many things.
And life is that very thing, to dream, to attempt, experience and achieve so many parts that are of this world. And even some of these things will be a bit rough around the edges, like my singing, because it will not be our forte, but we will have attempted it in their doing. And as each and every bit is added to the mix of understanding a wisdom is achieved, an acceptance of who we are because we do understand our limitations and excellence in all that we do.
But in the beginning this world is very conditional with all of these many things that we have never faced. And as we have been taught from birth by those we love and looked up to, that those very people are struggling with ‘their’ early experiences, not fully understanding as yet that wisdom achieved from many years of experience and unintentionally ‘passing on’ those early understandings that are woven with many conditions as they struggle to find that nirvana that never seems to be achieved as each mountain peak is climbed.
Like that first job, all nerves and afraid to do it wrong, we will face life exactly the same way, slowly building an emotional understanding and confidence and be tested in many ways as time goes by. And when we feel that we have failed at something it leaves us disappointed, a mark on us that keeps niggling us to look and see why. A dent in our emotional armor for all to see.
And slowly that ache inside that holds us will keep entering our lives because it never seems to be resolved, the pain of it a reminder of some inability within ourselves that never seems to break free and become that love and happiness that we always seek.
But it is asking of us to find the key, with many hints of what this pain is built of, but never seeing it for what it really is. Even to the point of asking us to look deeper because a particularly traumatic time asks us to uncover that pain once more, see if we can break through ‘this time’ and finally understand. It can be such a painful journey but the very thing we seek at those mountain tops requires it of us. An appreciation of something that it has taken our lives to find and understand. That last peak, the big one that will finally be the tallest so that we can ‘see’ all around and appreciate what it has taken to achieve this wondrous view…finally seeing the forest…because of the tree’s.
Without the struggle it has no meaning, as all cycles have a beginning and an end. No part can be achieved without what went before. That understanding and appreciation of love ‘because of’ the pain, anger, struggle and fear that we have faced to achieve it. All those emotions brought about because of what we each individually needed to face to fine tune that understanding. And like that last step to the summit, an appreciation of what went before.
It is no small feat. A lifetime of trying to break free of this ‘thing’ that will not let us go until we understand. Fine tune each step so that whenever it holds us in its thrall we slowly understand that what went before was not that key we have been looking for so we try again. Sometimes blocking because we are not ready yet.
But one day all of those paths come together, all of those experiences and the wisdom that we have gained will push us to do the unknown, step beyond what we think we can do and like all masters challenge our beliefs to step where no man/woman has gone before…a belief beyond what had held us for so, so long and finally ‘see’ that what we have held in our hearts had great purpose. To ‘see’ that stairway leading up the mountain in all its glory, to understand that we had to follow our own paths exactly as we have to achieve that very understanding. To ‘see’ that by doing exactly as we have, trips, stumbles and falls guiding us to that very key to open a lock within to a beauty almost beyond belief as it shows us how it has all been done exactly as it is so that we can ‘see’ and appreciate that love like no other. There is no ‘wrong’ as each and every step has only one thing in its purpose, to guide, give understanding and find that thing we always seek. It is the only path or we would never finally ‘feel’ its beauty in our understanding of that path.
Climb my friends and understand that even if you do fall down, know that beneath it has great purpose, because behind it all is a love like no other. It wishes to show you someone, a someone who does know how to struggle, does believe enough of themselves to take that next step, and in doing so will find that nirvana of love and happiness that they looked for, for so long, is really there waiting for them.
Believe in you…climb and be free ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
‘When the heart speaks the conscious objections crumble in an instant, and there is nothing left to decide. There are no doubts and there is no insecurity. As long as there is doubt and insecurity, the heart has simply not spoken yet.’
I just read the above but it had no author attached so I went for look see on the internet and up popped a book called ‘The Enchanted World’ by Sylvia Hartmann. I read a part of it and it may be an interesting read 😀
Regardless the above is a very beautiful truth <3
Still here guys, just still a little sidetracked with some healing, my own and others 😀
I tried to individually give a little Merry Christmas message to everyone I follow on the reader but as I have followed in the hundreds that soon became ridiculous 😀
So hopefully this will still post and go out to the one and all beautiful people on this blog world and give a little cheer to join the many heart lights that this world brings <3
Thank you all for a very interesting year to say the least, and to those magical people who’s caring and love is always to the fore for each and every soul on here, and especially to those whose care towards my ‘journey’ showed that love also, thank you! <3
May the blessings of the season be returned in kind to everyone, show the beauty that a helping, guiding light can bring, and the love that is within us all shine on that path to our happiness <3
A New Year beckons a new journey, may yours be built on that love! <3
Mark <3 xox
I am walking down the middle of the main street of my town, many people on both sides. Each step I take shows me a different part of the street, a new shop, different people…even the energy can be felt at levels never before touched. I have started at the beginning of the street, slowly making my way along its length and the people are quite loud. It is laughter and becoming quite distinct, and for some reason I’m really affected by it, squirming at each step and afraid that it is at me.
Then I realise why…I’m naked…exposed physically and emotionally, and totally at odds with the environment and bringing myself to the attention of one and all. There is nowhere to go, nowhere to hide…I just have to keep walking. At each step I begin to hear voices now, but they are no longer laughing, they are now voicing their concerns, branding me with their shock at what I am doing, letting me know that this is not acceptable. Many emotions can now be distinguished, laughter becoming embarrassment, raised voices becoming more stern and touching on anger as their judgement comes to the fore. I try to disappear in plain sight but regardless of my direction I must face what is happening.
And in that humdrum of noise it is my turn to be shocked, and strengthened by a lone voice, one of praise for daring the un-darable and standing in the nakedness of my truth, no longer masked by my fears. It puts another brick into the foundation of the path I am walking.
I have almost reached the end of the street and an overpowering urge to stop and look back overcomes me. And in that moment I finally ‘see’ where I have been and realise this is my life’s path. Many judgements from all around, reinforcing beliefs that were never mine, but locking me into their owners. All of these built on the fears that they held from that very same process I now tread.
My walk has taken quite a long time and I now realise that as each step gives me these understandings my nakedness no longer matters, and in fact has built a quiet strength as my belief in self grows. The people back at the beginning of my walk have forgotten me and moved on. I can see everything that has been directed at me was only coming from their fears, their embarrassment, their inability to deal with a moment because of where ‘they’ were at within themselves as they deal with their own ‘naked’ walk.
So, what does this all mean. No, I didn’t dream the above, it was shown to me after a little wander into my own main street that lives within each of us. In fact spirit has taken me on a guided tour ‘back’, and I mean ‘way back’ into my past, the beginning of my walk up that same main street to a time of my childhood to where my fears of rejection were really being ‘locked in’ at around that tender time of 9 years old.
That rejection I felt was a lack of love from my father and my attempts at gaining it by doing so many things to please and being knocked back each time until a coping strategy was put in place to deal with its pain. A wall of fear. And each time I faced that rejection in the future it would raise its head.
I thought I had faced that life fear over the last couple of years and understood that journey…and I had as an adult…but that 9 year old was still lost and needed to touch that understanding and the reassurance that it brings.
Over the last couple of years I had met this very nice lady that had an incredible energy that always gives me a signal that something is about to happen. But as the years went by nothing seemed to be occurring so I thought that it was just something in the ‘connection’ and it was doing its thing. Little did I know I was being prepared for that event.
I have visited this ladies home out in the country a few times now, each time to mind her home while she was away or on a mercy errand to help with a healing with her animals. And to be truthful, an enjoyable re-connection with her and my childhood love of nature growing up in a similar place.
But on the second last visit she had given me some Bowen Therapy that released something very powerful within me. And as I was minding her home while she was away at a workshop I was left to fend for myself, not realising I was about to re-enact those childhood fears in a big way.
When I was a child in those moments of rejection I would go out into the nearby forest, lay down in the long grass and just close down and hear the nature all around me, wind blowing through the tree’s, and an intense loneliness would envelop me. The first night at this ladies home after the Bowen Therapy felt exactly like those moments in the forest. Her home buffs against a state forest, so wind in the tree’s, birds and other animals calling…and that loneliness descended like a blanket, to a point that I was almost in shock because of my reaction.
At first I wasn’t sure of what it meant, an emotion that seemed to touch me and leave me drained, but with no understanding to follow. But the next journey to her home months later now finally opened that door, allowed that 9 year old to touch a missing link but with the wisdom of that hindsight above, and look back into my journey to ‘see’ a time traveled and why I reacted as I did.
I’ve seen that my dad had also been treated that very same way by his father and it was all he knew. He could only be what he had become on that journey, given to him by those he loved and looked up to, just as I had through my life. But understanding changes us, and that wind in the tree’s showed me that I have come a long way indeed, so far that I can now see, forgive, release and become the nakedness of my truth, no longer held back by thinking it was ‘others’ and uncovering those things that I had buried through fear.
It was a raw touch of those past feelings of a 9 year old, but for that 9 year old to see those truths and finally understand them released a way of being that had held him for way too long, no longer stealing life by living within those shackles that we mold because of our journey.
The road has cleared a little more, the light is extending further on my path, and an acceptance of myself has shown me that even though these paths are pretty rough, beneath them all is a love like no other, under those muddy steps there really is a yellow brick road for us all. The peace that has descended on me is quite profound, even though I feel I am still in shock dealing with these understandings. So much so that on arriving ‘home’ I feel very disjointed like I no longer live here and feel that I’m in a strange place. But the overall feeling is one of change, the releasing of the old so that a new path can be built. No longer ‘reacting’ to life but one of building a future of wherever I wish to go.
There may be more to add to this story yet as time goes by but its like going through any event, when we look back we see it with new eyes and understand it in its different pieces until an acceptance of who and what we have become because of it settles into place.
And in fact, and to be totally honest…at the moment I just feel like sitting in the sun and eating an ice cream…I wonder where that 9 year old really is right now, do we ever really leave them behind, no longer a part of what we have become? 😀
A wonderful understanding of that search for the love in our lives <3
Reblogged from Unfiltered From the Heart
Becoming The Love You’ve Been Looking For
Fantasies about knights in shining armor started at a young age for me. I wanted a man to save me from my miseries; to whisk me away on his stead into the sunset. Fairytales, it seems, were a vast part of my psyche.
Then in my late thirties when my marriage dissolved and I was left to face my life, with my miseries and messes, I turned away by looking for the knight in shining armor again; and to no avail. In seeking, I upped my misery. Yet while I sought, I also began to look inward. This blog, in all of its iterations, reflects a good part of that journey.
Today, I am seeing that the love and acceptance I’ve sought in others was quietly waiting…right here, inside of me. Yes, I’ve read in books this concept of self-love. Yet, it was only recently that I began to experience it as a regular part of my daily life and reality.
How has this come to be, you may be wondering? It really is more simple than you may want to believe. If you’ve been following my story, you may see the pattern. It is about the consistent application of self-love and self-compassion in the face of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
To be more specific: The places where we have built walls must be torn down. Those walls are the thoughts and beliefs that block us from our own light, our own love and in maintaining those walls, it eats up our energy.
This place of self-love is behind those walls. It can feel scary to “walk into” those blockades, for each brick is a thought we have taken the time to place and mortar together to form these walls. Then we take to painting our beliefs of who we are, like murals, on these walls. So to look closely at any of the murals or walls is to question our very own self-concept. It can feel like death to question who we are. In a way it is: it is the death of who we believed we were.
Furthermore, we feel vulnerable when we take those walls down. As each of those bricks was formed in the belief that life or love hurts us. Yet the reality is that those very walls keep us locked in with the pain, while the love we seek remains on the other side of the keep.
The very thing we seek is within us. It is up to us to break down the walls that separate us from ourselves and hence from others. We can be so busy blaming others for our pain that we avoid seeing how we are hurting ourselves and creating the very things that keep us locked in that hell.
So go to those walls. Breathe through the fear, the heartache. Write, cry, dance and be moved by the emotions that you’ve been keeping locked up. In freeing them, you free yourself. With each wall you break down, you will find another measure of love for yourself.
It is in “feeling the rainbow” of human emotions that we become who we are here to be: ourselves unlimited, ourselves being free.
People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty…
To provide you with guidance and support…
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually…
They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die…
Sometimes they walk away…
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand….
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled…
Their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON.
Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.
Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life…
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime
~ Unknown author ~
They are guiding us towards that self love those many people in our lives…the good ones, bad and in between…they each show us…us!
May those that you meet see the truth and beauty that those before encouraged us to stand in ❤️
All of your life you are seeking that mythical place called happiness. Well…I found it…but not where I was looking.
This world will bring into our lives something called a fear, in our childhood actually, and we spend our entire lives avoiding it, on guard in case it jumps out from who knows where. And one day while I was going through the most horrendous time in my life, I had to look inside it because it had made me reach a point where I finally admitted to myself that I could not do this ‘pain’ thing anymore, I was worth so much more than this.
So I went looking at this thing that kept bobbing up in my life, those relationships that seemed to keep doing the same things to me…and in there was ‘it’. But I had to go digging because as a child my emotional handling capacity was very immature so I had just built a wall, you know, that block, block, block we do with the things we can’t handle emotionally so that it won’t cause us any pain.
But down behind that wall is something so amazing that when you see it, it will blow your mind. It will hit you like a steam train, simply because its simplicity will be incredible. But its power in that moment will awaken the slumberer, again simply because of the understanding of something that has held you at bay for many years. And in that moment the fear will lose ‘its’ power forever.
It will set you free…and a happiness we had searched for, for so long, will empower you with the one thing we have been missing for so long…that ability to love ourselves <3
Is there a 'happy ever after' in this world…you better believe it my friend…and its got your name all over it <3 😀
Many years ago I had an ‘event’ where I was with a friend suffering from a bipolar condition, and during the evening she was emotionally escalating and I could feel the emotional pain that she was beginning to go through. And as my heart went out to her because of the fear I could feel within her, something happened. In that instant I was suddenly no longer there, I had opened and given from my empathy so deeply that I ‘let go’ of this world and was in such a place that was so beautiful, peaceful and loving. One moment I was touching that place where you feel so heartfelt for someone else’s pain, and suddenly I just ‘let go’. My awareness knew no bounds and an elation beyond anything I could describe even though I could still ‘feel’ myself sitting on my lounge…but not.
And while I was within this place I ‘knew’ everything, I did not have to ask. And the one thing that did stay with me was the total unconditional love all around me…because I had ‘let go’ of me and given with such an open heart, no longer guarded and held by those things that hold us back in ‘this’ world. And that there was no ‘time’ as it did not exist in a way that I could measure or feel its progress, it just ‘was’.
Well since that ‘event’ I have noticed something quite interesting. Depending where we are at within ourselves time does some amazing things. Have you noticed that if you are in a beautiful place feeling happy and elated, that time seems to fly on by. But if you are in an unhappy, or sad place, the time seems to drag on, especially if it is a time of real pain like the passing of someone very close or going through a divorce etc, almost to the point you can feel each and every second that goes by. There are even times that when something really amazing in our lives happens, time seems to almost go in slow motion, like we’re trying to absorb every single second of something that has great meaning for us, and we look back and ask ourselves ‘what just happened?’ as we relive something that leaves a great impact on our lives. We even think it flew by, even though we can touch many emotions and feelings that went with each and every part of it. One of those events that we never forget because it touches us so deeply.
I feel that time is our teacher, coming here so that we can fully experience the many things that we go through, touching the feelings that they bring. Slowing down in those hard parts to appreciate just what message they bring, so that in understanding ourselves a little more, that self love is built a little stronger and our vibration speeds up, coming a little closer, clearer and quicker to our destination.
When we are so madly in love, we feel we can fly, time no longer has any meaning…imagine where we would be when we love ourselves unconditionally…and it IS there waiting for us, I have touched it, when I fully opened and let go of this world. And we are all capable of doing that because that is what this world is built on…finding more love and empathy each time we go through those many hard things, able then to give that empathy to another because of what we have experienced.
But most of all, they each show us our love, unblocking those many fears in our life, unraveling what holds us back. Those fears block time, almost making it go backwards as we go through them many times, asking us to relive their pain so that we can break free in their understanding. Finally letting go of that time loop that we always seem to be in.
Have time for another in their time of need, it will speed theirs up. But most of all, have faith and believe in yourself, that self love is the cushion of time and will soften and speed this flight of a lifetime and show you an amazing journey in each step you take.
How many times have you come close to ‘letting go’ and opening to that place within, touching something so profound in the depth of your many emotions, opening your heart to the beauty of love’s tenderness? It is there…waiting, for it knows your destination, using a timetable so incredible that you will look back and see the many visits where your heart did open and show you a new path, each one coming closer to that place we call home. That final time when we ‘let go’ to be that timeless unconditional within us all <3
Reblogged from Boundless Blessings by Kamal
A little boy aged 8 years old told his mother that he wanted to meet God. His mother very sweetly told him, ‘Okay, dear but where will you find him in this vast Universe.’ The little boy insisted that he would set out to look for God and come back safely once he did.’ His mother knew that was not possible and did not seem to argue with him. She knew he would come back home so she packed his suitcase with two sets of his dress, a water-bottle and some packets of cakes for him on his way. The boy very happily started his journey, he walked a long distance and found a park! He was feeling tired so he decided to sit in the park and take some refreshment and water as he was feeling thirsty too. He opened a packet of cake to eat.[…]
I read these words by Ram Dass over on Grief Happens blog, and like her I thought it appropriate for the season too…
‘When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees.
And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever.
And you look at the tree and you allow it.
You see why it is the way it is.
You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way.
And you don’t get all emotional about it.
You just allow it.
You appreciate the tree.
The minute you get near humans, you lose all that.
And you are constantly saying ‘You’re too this, or I’m too this.’
That judging mind comes in.
And so I practice turning people into trees.
Which means appreciating them just the way they are’
And at the bottom of her post she simply says…
‘Who are you turning into a tree this holiday season?’ 😀
‘Our love, our compassion is in understanding the tears of another, and sharing that moment with them…our hearts cannot connect in a more truer way, hence the power within that moment’
What an incredible word. It brings so much feeling to whatever it is applied to.
But…why is it that some people have it, and others appear to have none. Where is this switch that it can be on or off at the drop of a hat?
And that my dear friend’s is where the secret of compassion is.
We all have compassion because it is built on our ‘experiences’ in this life. And if we aren’t shown compassion in our journey, we find it difficult to show others. But it is very difficult to have true compassion for someone when they are struggling with something that we don’t truly understand, because we haven’t experienced it.
I would feel compassion for a man who is married, lost his job and has fourteen children and struggling to make ends meet…but, when I realise he sits around all day drinking and chatting to his friends with not a care in world, my compassion diminishes…why?
Because my upbringing in life tells me that I should put effort into things, to achieve by that effort and within those struggles to create what I want, is the path I should take. And I measure everyone else by that, realising that everyone does have different dreams and hopes in this world, so shouldn’t be judged by their different dreams or their efforts. But to actually sit around and not really try to do anything lowers my compassion because I only see laziness or a lack of effort.
So in judging this man, I confront him and say ‘what a life! I wish I could do this, lazing around drinking and chatting to friends all day, it would be fantastic’. To which he burst’s into tears, shows much emotion to this accusation. And then begins to tell me of his journey where as a fireman he had rushed into a building to save four people, two adults and two little children. He had brought them out but heard their calls for their pet dog, to which he went back in but was caught in a collapse and badly injured by breaking his back and burning his lungs. Hence the sitting around drinking and chatting was just his friends giving him compassion for what he had gone through. And the fact that he could no longer contribute to himself, family or community because of what had happened.
I would be stunned, my compassion going through the roof for this man that had put his life on the line for the safety of others.
So because of what I had seen and experienced in life, I was judging another, when in truth I had no idea.
My compassion has changed five times in relating the above story. But why?
Well, in saying the above, there is one more thing that drives our compassion more than any other thing in this world.
Yes, our experiences are a big driver. To experience something means we can have true compassion because we relate to it directly, and can then truly understand what another is experiencing. But even then there is one other thing that will affect our compassion, and by its very nature it is a block to all that we do.
Our world is built on ‘conditional’. Loaded with it. And as we grow up it will implant its fears in such a way that we become that ‘conditional’, avoiding many things because of their pain. And in doing so we ‘hold’ much emotion within…because of that pain, and the love that we feel we are losing or we don’t deserve. And those walls are a buffer to the one thing that this life is trying to teach us. To love ourselves!
We cannot give out what we cannot give to ourselves. We are a reflection of what we are. If you are angry, you give out anger. If you are sad, you give out sadness. You can cover it by ‘acting’ a certain way, but deep inside you are still the person that you are from your experiences.
So our compassion is built on our experiences and how we are able to reflect that into the world.
Now I’m going to rock your boat a little further. Spirit said to me…’We know everything, but we do not ‘know’ it!’. Meaning that as Spirit they too must experience this conditional world to understand ‘unconditional’ love. That is our whole purpose down here. It is the only thing we take back ‘up there’, the compassion and love that we experience and develop ‘down here’.
So I will tell you something that happened to me many years ago.
I was with a beautiful friend who was going through a very rough period with her diagnosis of being Bi-Polar. During this afternoon I was watching her escalate beyond anything I could even imagine, becoming angrier and more agitated as the afternoon went on…and as a healer I could ‘feel’ that struggle of this little frightened girl inside struggling to come out of this wilderness that she was in…and my heart just ‘opened’ with so much compassion, and my heart totally went out to her.
And the most incredible thing happened…I was suddenly no longer there, I was ‘somewhere’ that could touch and feel everything. I no longer needed to ask any questions…I ‘knew’. Time was irrelevant, and the most incredible love and compassion I could never put into words, I would diminish it if I tried. But the one thing I did know was…I had ‘let go’ of my worlds fears and totally gave from my heart to this friend from a place I ‘know’ is within us all, a place that is all our destinations as we experience everything on our individual paths. And to reach this place we ‘need’ to have ‘conditional’ so that we can then truly ‘know’ and understand ‘compassion’, to achieve that ‘unconditional’ place within us all. We cannot ‘know’ happiness, unless we ‘know’ sadness. We cannot ‘know’ compassion, unless we ‘know’ fear. We cannot ‘know’ unconditional, unless we ‘know’ conditional. They are all our experiences.
So my journey has been built on that understanding, that all that we do is guiding us ever closer to that unconditional love that we all seek. To find that happiness within that is built on our ability to find that compassion within all that we do. And do it we will, because all experiences show us more and more of who we truly are within, the beauty that is only a wall away from a freedom like no other, and that happiness that we all search for.
I no longer judge anyone…no, not even a murderer. They too have their journey that affects them and all around them…but it all has purpose, to find that heart within by ‘seeing’ and ‘experiencing’ and find that balance inside, the one that says go past my fear, understand that it is just in place so that I can ‘see’ the truth within, release the duality of not loving myself because of that fear, and find that oneness that will make us whole once more.
I have been blessed with touching something that is initially unseen by this world. And when I was ready, it came knocking to see if I was listening. And when I was ready, going through one of the most tumultuous times in my life, I was at a place where I asked God, ‘Why?… what meaning was there in such a ‘dark night of the soul’ experience. Show me, at the least, some purpose in what we do’.
And God did.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I had made the decision in my life to have meaning in what I do, so I became a Remedial Massage Therapist to help heal others. And it was within those healing’s that I began to actually ‘see’ myself within others as they responded to me. And as this grew, from each fear that I faced and understood, the clearer I could ‘see’ and understand others. The more I opened my heart to myself, the more I could share that opening to others. And as each step was taken, spirit would show me many things to understand what this journey really means.
I have shared what I was shown over the years here on my blog site. And with those incredible experiences is the one thing that spirit has always been very constant with…we are all here to find that self-love, it is what unconditional love is…that ability to no longer hold anything against ourselves, that negativity, self-loathing or fear because we feel we have been rejected by those we love and look up to as we have grown up. Always thinking deep down, ‘they don’t love me, there must be something wrong with me for them to treat me like that’ and not feeling loved because of those actions, and building emotional walls to block the pain that they cause. And we hold those doubts for a very long time, slowly simmering below the surface in all that we do.
Then along comes that event , a divorce or a death of someone very close, or a rejection from those we love, that will bring it rushing back up so that we can begin that journey to break free from our fear, a rebirth if you will, to finally understand and be released from its shackles…and touch that happiness we have always looked for.
And have that one compassion that always seemed to elude us…that compassion for ourselves.
Only then, in ‘knowing’ conditional, will we then ‘know’ unconditional, and a true compassion in all that we do.
( me 😀 )
I thought I better add a picture so everyone would finally ‘see’ who they were ‘listening’ to.
The lovely Barbara Franken at ‘Me My Magnificent Self’ has asked me to do a guest post on compassion at her website.
To which I firstly say thank you for thinking of me to contribute, and secondly for your site, a wellspring of so much positivity and love with an attitude of finding our own hearts so that we can bless those around us by being the healing and blessing that this discovery brings.
And of course in that discovery is found much compassion as it blossoms from within because we have now understood the meaning of those fears in our lives, and in breaking through them we realise what others are still going through. And in now understanding each side of the equation of fear and compassion, it now opens that love within, for ourselves and in our dealings with those around us.
To this day it still amazes me just how powerful our love and compassion is, for the strength and courage it has taken to step past many painful things in our lives. But the biggest wonder I ever see, is that beautiful recognition I see in the eyes of another as that understanding reaches its final destination…their hearts. The tears begin to flow in an acceptance of exactly who they are as the walls come tumbling down, and a glow like no other begins to shine from within.
To read this guest post on compassion at Barbara’s site, please click here… ‘Compassion!’
And thank you Barbara for allowing me to share my journey on your lovely site, and be a part of that compassion you share with all.
And eventually we do put ourselves first…not as we normally do in life, forcefully…but by understanding our fears, and giving a love to ourselves that we initially did not dare because of how we felt about ourselves. It is in putting us first instead of our fears.
Our fears have to be lived to be understood, and in their outcome is the wisdom of that love. We always give from where we are at. And that is mirrored back to us in our lives by those around us. And as we grow up we give from those fears, a place where we feel unloved and unwanted. Each time we give a flower or argue with a friend, those actions are reflected back to us so that we can ‘see’ where our hearts are, giving out a curved version of who we are because of the expectations of ourselves built from those walls of fear.
And we can never see or understand our fears for many years because we avoid them because of their pain…but as life goes on, those around us keep reflecting back who we are, so that we can ‘see’ where we truly are inside. You know, those situations in relationships that always seem to keep repeating themselves, leaving you totally amazed at how these events keep happening. Making you feel like the universe is picking on you. Until you reach that point where ‘I can’t do this anymore’ becomes your mantra.
But once the fear is understood, it loses its power, and we then see that it has only been us that is blocking our love for ourselves…because we didn’t feel worthy of it.
Our negativities and low self worth from childhood hold those walls up until we are forced to step through them. As we have done by going through the many ups and downs within our life. Slowly we have been able to ‘see’ those walls and with great courage and strength, dared those fears to find that belief of who we really are within and become that love we always seek in our lives, that happiness that we look for but never seem to find.
It is there, gently waiting, prodding us to take the next step, to at last find that love, and be that true freedom within. And to be totally happy, for we have finally found what we have been seeking all our lives…to love ourselves unconditionally. For those fears ARE the conditions we had placed on our journey, and in defeating them we totally appreciate what it has taken to break through and find who we really are within.
And in doing so, we are finally free. Because that happiness is the love we dared to give ourselves, releasing the conditions that held us in chains, to find an unconditional that will leave you in tears…tears of love and gratitude because of what you have now found within.
May your journey dare those fears, for through them is a light like no other, and a beauty beyond measure…….your light <3
As many would know, spirit spoke to me about 5 years ago and said that I would die when I was 60. And as everything else that spirit spoke to me about has come true, I had no doubt that it would happen.
This left me to face some very big and entrenched fears in my life, and in doing so, thankfully, I have climbed and removed many walls in my life, understood the reasons behind those fears so that I am now free from their tyranny.
Don’t get me wrong, they have a very important part in our lives. In living them and enduring their pain, it shows us compassion and the ability to love ourselves as nothing else can.
So I find myself in a beautiful place in my life…so spirit decided it was time to look a little deeper…much deeper.
Spirit came to me and said (and I wasn’t even thinking of death or anything even associated with it)…’Who said you would not live again!’ And that was it.
It was so out of nowhere that I wondered if I hadn’t ‘seen’ something after all that death had so far shown me.
- Would I literally die, but come alive again. Like those stories you hear about people dying on the operating table but ‘coming back’?
- Would I truthfully ‘live again’ in the spirit world.
- Or would I ‘live again’ in another lifetime.
I have thought about it for a while and the one thing that it showed me promise for on my journey is…it doesn’t matter. And in realising that I’m comfortable that it no longer ‘holds me back’.
Maybe that was what it was for…to ‘see’ that we will all be alive again…once our walls come down <3
I too would deny the ‘strange’ of this world…only then will our world become clear.
Reblogged from Cristen Rodgers
I Would Rather be Strange
To those who would call me strange, I say that I would rather be your kind of strange than mine because, to me, strange is denying the truth of our nature.
To me, strange is ignoring the pull of the moon’s tides in our veins simply because we can’t yet measure its influence.
Strange is pretending that our bones aren’t made of the same dust that’s beneath our feet, or that our bodies aren’t filled with the same water that crashes in waves on the shores.
To me, strange would be to deny kinship with the animals, even though we’re born of the same union between the earth and the sky.
What I consider strange is clinging to one identity, like a summer that refuses to concede to the coming autumn.
And stranger still is to reject our responsibility to one another, like a maple tree denying the birds and squirrels a home in its branches.
To those who would call me improper, I say that I would rather be your kind of improper than mine because, to me, improper is the desecration of our mother earth.
To me, improper is interrupting the natural flow of water through her veins.
Improper is poisoning her breath with pesticides while tearing down her lungs with tractors.
To me, improper is raping the land and forcing her to give birth out of season, while wondering why she seems to fight us every step of the way.
What I consider improper is the way we’ve drawn imaginary lines across her body for so long that we think they’re real and, even worse, that they will somehow prevent the cancer from spreading.
Improper is that no one seems to mourn a freshly stripped forest, as if its roots weren’t also our own; and pretending that what’s done to it isn’t also done to us all.
To those who would call me weird, I say that I would rather be your kind of weird than mine because, to me, weird is choosing an imitation over the real thing.
To me, weird is covering my feet with dead leather instead of walking barefoot on the living earth and feeling her heart beating beneath me.
Weird is covering ourselves with chemicals to protect our bare skin from the same sun that helped to create it.
To me, weird is needing entertainment when every evening a great invisible artist comes out to paint one stroke of color at a time across the entire sky until the day’s blue transitions into midnight’s black.
What I find weird is the way that we’re taught to fear the wild, as if we are not wild ourselves.
Weird is how we’re supposed to trust what comes from a factory but not what came before that factory existed. Even weirder is the way that we eat food from a bag while we bulldoze the forest, or we hide from the rain and then go home to take a shower.
To those who would call me naive, I say I would rather be your kind of naive than mine because, to me, naive is believing that the creator is separate from her creation.
Naïve is believing that the Painter feels no pain when you spoil her canvas. It’s pretending that the Great Writer’s soul doesn’t live in the poems she carves out in the rivers and the songs that she sings on the wind.
To me, naïve is calling for God’s help as we slay sparks of her soul that live in the fields and the forests, in the corals, the coasts and the clouds; and more naïve still is to convince ourselves that those sparks were never there.
What I consider naïve is the assumption that we can kill pieces of a body without its consciousness slowly dying.
Naïve is expecting that we can hollow out the ground beneath our feet and somehow remain standing.
To me, naive is incessantly talking to God rather than shutting up long enough to hear to what she’s been trying to tell us all along.
To those who would call me strange, I say that I would rather be your kind of strange than mine because, to me, strange is listening to the weather but not hearing the wind. It’s living under the sun but never seeing the light. Strange is drinking earth’s water but never swallowing the truth.
To those who would call me strange, I say let them call me strange; this is a title I will happily accept, because in a world that lives in denial, the truth will sound false. I accept it because in a society of conformists, authenticity will seem rebellious and because when it’s built on dualism, oneness will be frightening.
I say let them call me strange, because if it’s strange to live as my mother intends rather than according to what my brothers and sisters pretend, then I would rather be their kind of strange than mine.
©2016 Cristen Rodgers
And sometimes you can ‘hear’ a post in your heart.
This is one of those posts! ❤️
Reblogged from Cristen Rodgers
Sometimes it Hurts
The thing about spiritual awakening is that sometimes it hurts.
We talk a lot about the way that everything gets a little brighter and how the world transforms before your eyes. We relish describing how there’s this bottomless well of love hidden right inside your own chest and the way that your relationships – with yourself, with others, with the earth, with god – suddenly and drastically change for the better once you learn how to tap into it. We take joy in sharing the beauty of the journey; but what we often fail to mention is all of the pain that must be endured along the way.
We neglect to talk about how much your feet start to grow tired and eventually bleed as you learn how to walk through rather than around the thorns and barbs in your path. And we forget to mention that courage doesn’t just happen; that you have to face your deepest fears and stand in the darkest of your inner shadows before you learn how to become the light. We don’t talk much about the way that your concept of self is shaken until the meat of your identity begins to fall off; or how, even after that, your bones continue to rattle until even they turn to dust lying at the feet of your naked soul.
Perhaps it would be more accurate to call the process emerging rather than awakening. Awakening deceptively illustrates the process as an effortless transition from the dream landscape of the unconscious to the sharp brightness of reality, wherein the closest thing to pain is a few stiff muscles easily alieved by a short stretch. The word emerging, on the other hand, implies struggle. You don’t emerge effortlessly; emerging is something that must be done in steps, each of which can only be taken because you grew stronger by taking the one before it.
The first step is perhaps the hardest, because it requires the kind of bravery that one only develops in the face of immense fear, the kind of fear that comes from challenging core assumptions. When your foundational beliefs are questioned, the ground beneath your feet begins to tremble and shake. Up and down begin looking eerily alike and the only certainty is that you still exist somewhere in between them.
This is how we learn courage.
It’s not by avoiding fear but by walking into it that we learn how to rise above it. Then you discover the courage of your spirit – it’s not your mind or your muscles that put your feet in motion, but something far stronger, and deeper, pulling you forward from the inside until you finally crack the inner layer of your shell.
But this is only the first step.
Emerging requires more than just growing tired of confinement. You have to break free; you must strip away layer after layer of who you have learned to be before you can get to the truth of who you really are. Stripping away layers of self can be painful, and it can be frightening. We deposit our beliefs, our assumptions, expectations, and definitions over our souls one layer at a time until they harden into a sort of shell behind which hides our true self – that wild, free, formless, beautiful energy that we call the spirit. The longer that this shell remains in place, the more it begins to attach itself to the tender spirit beneath, so that peeling it away tests and pulls at the spirit. It can hurt but it also makes it that much stronger.
Usually these layers don’t just fall away easily like dead skin. They have to be pulled away, like ripping flesh from the bone. But, with each layer that gets pulled away, the light within shines through a little more. And if we keep tugging at all of the things that we thought we should be, eventually we strip away that final layer to discover the true intensity of who we really are.
That’s the truth of it. It hurts. It’s frightening. But it’s the most worthwhile challenge that you will ever go through.
Once all of those layers have been stripped away, you discover what it means to breathe. You marvel at how you didn’t know that you were suffocating; and you can imagine no greater purpose than to help others find their breath. You no longer fear shadows because you have become the source of the light. You can be truly happy because you aren’t always fighting against unhappiness.
This is what it means when we say that if you run from the shadow you also run from the light, or that to know love you must be willing to walk through fear.
A flower cannot bloom without first suffering the darkness of being a buried seed. A bird cannot learn to fly without first facing the fear of falling. And you, my friend, cannot emerge without first suffering the process of tearing away at what confines you.
©2015 Cristen Rodgers
A time to stand still and look within after a realisation of self…
Reblogged from Healing Your Heart From Within
A Moment in Time!
And you will never forget that moment…all has led to this beautiful point. All the striving and hardships to achieve some unknown yearning, some direction or path that has meaning. And suddenly a understanding comes within…just a flutter, you try to grasp it, and it turns away. Release it and it comes back, opening like a flower. Sometimes it is difficult, but I realise now, that was because I was getting in the way. The mind trying to grasp something by the good old fashioned way of logic.
Totally useless when you begin to realise this understanding comes from within. It has always been there but life just gets in the way. It has taken me many years to gain this understanding, and like any journey there is a beginning.
You read and read, listening to others around you, all the while taking some things on board and rejecting what doesn’t seem to fit. And even coming back to them because over time you have changed, and you now have some pull towards them. At this point you realise you had to go through something, which changed you, and you now understand what you had rejected. A little more is added to the mix.
This goes on, bit by bit as you gain enough wisdom to release those fears and that interaction with life that block that understanding within. It is perfectly balanced so that until you reach that point of ‘wanting something more’out of life, you will stay on that path of the world. Keep trudging until that guiding sentinel within gently shows you something, a moment of understanding that sits you up and allows you to realise ‘there is something more’, and the change begins.
You hold it to the side, not speaking of it for fear of being labelled as ‘different’, but this is also part of the understanding. As you realise there is significance in these ‘events’, your attitude begins to change. You start to feel a purpose, a reason for being who and what you are within. Even though this begins a struggle with the world all around. For until you step fully into this journey, it will keep you at bay. Law of attraction, you hold it at bay, it will hold you at bay.
You are now developing your truth and integrity because of what you are now feeling. You are beginning to understand that you needed to feel everything that you have, so that you will understand these events as they come. You are now beginning to accelerate by letting go of the world, your understanding increases because you are letting go of all those things in life that block your journey.
And then one day you are just being…nothing more, and an understanding will come forward within. It will be so incredible that it will stop you in your tracks. The world around you will disappear for it will no longer have any meaning as you feel the truth of what has been revealed. The tears will flow, and gladly, for the beauty in this understanding will wrap your heart in the most incredible love that you will never, ever forget. You are free, and open to this love now forever. You also see that this beauty within has always been there, just waiting until you are ready.
As more time goes by and you come from this new place within, you see the truth of all your interactions with your life, within others and the purpose that it holds for you. Yes, just you, so that you may realise the beauty from within, and in doing so, give to others from that place because that is what you have gradually attracted. A love to self. A release of that life long ‘I can’t do this!…I’m not good enough!’, that has kept that duality, that non connection within. And in that belief in self, that beginning of that love for you, you stop blocking the one thing that has been trying to gain a foothold in your life, that unconditional love that is all around.
At this time you realise, yes, you are still on this earth, but it no longer has the drag of life you have endured. Your lessons in life and hardships, have reached their purpose, and you now stand in your truth, giving totally and freely within, as the understanding of that unconditional love unfolds.
Welcome to my world fellow traveller, I bid you wel-come, for even though it is a journey of much pain, it’s destination is one of such incredible beauty. Be strong, persevere and know that this path is one of completion, and the freedom and love gained will far, far outweigh anything that went before. Be at peace in that knowledge, for it is with great love that our creator wants us to be a part of all that is, that unconditional love, forever.
A tag started by a blogger/writer called Sarah Brentyn, asking us to revisit our first ever blog posts! <3
I have been very nicely asked by my friend Carolina to visit my first ever post…and after 3 minutes of scrolling down the page…ta daaaa!
Here is my very first Blog Post:
THE JOURNEY HAS BEGUN!
Ok, I’ve created a few pages, rearranged a few things , and now getting used to WordPress and its particulars. The first four pages are up, The Journey, The Heart, The Beginning, The Reverse and these will be followed by The Fear, The Love, The Truth, The Dreaming and The Death (I hope to complete these over the next few weeks). And maybe more as I do this wander through life and the urge to ‘live’ and feel some of the most incredible things. I become more amazed as spirit shows me some of life’s ‘realities’ under our day to day life that we all lead.
For many years it has been a slog, as it is for most all of us initially, but that is only to show us one side of the coin, a familiar track that has been taught to us by our parents, family and friends and of course, let us not forget the ‘system’ of schools, law and community. Now I’m not being derogatory by the previous statement as they are needed very much to assist in the creation of who we all are. A lesson in this very physical world showing us how to live and be a part of this world we live in.
It’s when we reach those places in our life where we realise ‘there has to be more’, and then we start to look, to search, and try to understand just what it is we are missing. It can be frustrating just trying to come to terms, with what it is, that we seem to be trying to achieve. So the hunt begins. A clue here, a hint there, and sometimes we lock onto something that appears to be what we are after but it doesn’t quite fill the void. So we keep looking. And looking.
And then one day after some serious searching throughout your life, you finally begin to realise that the most happiest times in your life have been when you have actually given to yourself. Released any expectations of yourself, and just been in the moment with something you have enjoyed doing. Whether it was an occasion with family or friends or something you enjoy doing for yourself. After doing this it leaves you with a smile, even if not so much an external one, but one that you feel within.
It is then that you begin to realise that the more you give to yourself, the more you give from that place. The more happier you are within, the more you radiate that out from where you are at. The important bit is to be that Truth, live that way on a day to day basis. If you do this with integrity, and not selfishly, everything begins to change. You begin to change, and all those negative things that you seem to attract to you before, change to a more positive and happier outcome.
Yes, life can still throw things in your direction but the more you follow this path the more you realise that ninety nine percent of the time we keep this ‘what if’ going in our heads and ninety nine percent of the time…none of it happens. And the reality is you always put your best foot forward anyway. Tell me when you’ve deliberately done something wrong? Made mistakes yes, sometimes some doozies (me too), but never deliberately. Learn, take in the wisdom that it taught you, and let it go. The lesson is for you, no one else, just you.
It takes time, but hey, you’ve got the rest of your life to do it. Don’t make it a chore, just take one day at a time. Live now and let the world take care of itself. It will, and with that new attitude begin to love the most important person in that world. You are more important than you realise. You are starting a new you. You are beginning the realisation that you are a part of the most incredibly beautiful creation that ever existed, and ever will.
It all begins…with a smile…and another…and before long it just comes naturally!
Here we come to the rules:
No cheating. (It must be your first post. Not your second post, not one you love…first post only.)
Link back to the person who tagged you (thank them if you feel like it or, if not, curse them with a plague of ladybugs).
Cut and paste your old post into a new post or reblog your own bad self. (Either way is fine but NO editing.)
Put the hashtag #MyFirstPostRevisited in your title.
Tag…um…tentwotwelve five (5) other bloggers to take up this challenge.
Notify your tags in the comment section of their blog (don’t just hope they notice a pingback somewhere in their spam).
Feel free to cut and paste the badge to use in your post.
Include “the rules” in your post.
Completely silly rules that I’m making up as I type:
Transmute yourself from wherever you are to a nice tropical island for a two week stay at absolutely no cost,
and force yourself to enjoy it! 😀
Here there are my tag choices:
You are by no mean obligated to participate but if you do would be a fun way to look at your Blog growth and transformation!
My thanks to Carolina at Yesterdayafter for including me in her Tag, and it was fun to look back to the beginning and see where my blog’s travel began!
Love and light to you all!
P.S. No, I normally do not do any awards or such, but for only the second time since I’ve been on WordPress, I have dared, simply as it was different and ‘touched’ what I needed to see! 😀
Life and all its hardships, the rivers we do dare
Traveling dangerous waters, captaining its glare
The mastering of the winds, the swells of our pride
The holding of our tiller, for there is nowhere else to hide
But if I could but show, the beauty that dwells within
The reality in this path, built from where we’ve been
We see so much in our wake, but only through our fear
All the while on lookout, glancing to the rear
So grab that tiller firmer, know through this gale we go
That the sails of this journey, need this truth to blow
Find the hearts compass, point it as a guide
Hold it with gratitude, for in there you know you’ve tried
So seek out all your glory, venture to every port above
For within that travel far and wide, is a journey full of love
Happy New Year everyone, may it be full of adventure, beautiful waters and much love! <3
This post is triggered by a friend, Leigh, who was wondering out loud in her post, ‘Joy, what is it?’ , and its part in her life. So I thought I would pass on what I personally found, and maybe it will help or give an understanding in something that we all ask at times in our lives.
In my own journey I felt a joy from what I was taught…lets say it was my birthday (as a child) was coming up, so I would get all excited and happy leading up to it. And children are much more unconditional until ‘life’ gets in the way. So it was my environment guided me in many things like this, from what I was shown and experienced as I grew up.
But the one thing that never seemed to be satisfied, was this ‘something’ that I never seemed to reach, a place where everyone said I would be happy when I reached it, but in finding this ‘so called’ nirvana, it left a lingering hollow that just didn’t touch what I thought would be ‘joy’. A career, home, partner, children and so on would bring it into my life, but never a lasting one to make you feel you had found ‘it’, that place we all search for.
Until I did ‘touch’ it, after picking myself up off the floor in a crying heap as I finally ‘saw’ what was truly holding me back. After a divorce, severe anxiety, loss of family and friends…I finally dared to look within and ask that question…’is this it down here, a life of misery and pain?’, as my fear dragged me kicking and screaming into changing what I had re-inforced my whole life up till that point.
Through my life I saw one thing, and one thing only…as a child it was my reaction to (I felt), was my dad treating me in such a way that I felt he didn’t love me, and that I couldn’t handle it anymore…so I blocked him emotionally (I was a grand old age of about 7 or 8). And anyone else who said they loved me needed to then ‘be’ a certain way to prove themselves, and I would drown them in some artificial love (because it had conditions tied to it everywhere), by sending flowers, invite them out, do grand things for them…all built on my fear of not being loved, being rejected by those who I loved and looked up to. Of which I carried on into adult hood.
So began my journey to find ‘why’, and once I saw what it was….I finally let go something that had weighed a ton on my life up to that point, physically, emotionally and most certainly spiritually as I had blocked it with all my walls.
My point being, once that fear was finally understood, you let go, and I mean really let go of expectations (of you and others), wants, needs, judgement, and a million other things that we don’t realise we do in avoiding that fear. The world completely changed overnight…well, actually I did…and without that one constant of fear affecting everything that I did…I began to ‘see’…and I mean really ‘see’ what had always been there, but I was blinded by my walls.
Let me show you an example of how it happens….your boss asks you to do something for your work, it is going to take some serious effort to get done so it will take over your life while you finish it. It is done at work, at home, in the shower and even sidetracks you in your family life. When you finally come back up for air at the jobs end, half your life has passed you by. A child’s birthday missed, a presentation for a family member or even friends invites are ignored.
And that is what fear does, it blinds you to life, keeps you on-guard and sidetracked in so many ways. But when it is finally understood, it is YOUR jobs end. You will release it because it no longer has power over you. You…are…free.
And in that freedom is a relief, release and self love because of what you have endured to see it for what it is, and break free of that life of drudgery.
And then something comes in that you weren’t expecting….you can now ‘see’ life (dancing under your tree’s Leigh 🙂 ), and it brings a joy like no other. It is a feeling that you have never had, simply because it has been blocked all your life. And there where it has always been is…your lovely tree’s on a roadway :), a butterfly with beautiful wings, flowers with color that you have never been able to really see before, even just a child’s happy face.
You can even now see and feel joy in others, because you ARE now joy because of what you now understand within yourself.
Yes, through your life you will feel bursts of joy in different events, simply because you have let your fear go, its overpowering reins on your life for just a while…until it slowly comes back in, reminding you of what you hold deep within.
That is our journey, to find that joy, in the love we have of ourselves. It holds so much joy unlike anything in this world…but it is only blocked by that wall of fear. Beneath that wall is an indescribable beauty…a place that will bring a smile from within like no other, regardless of where you are, whenever you are…it is timeless, and very unconditional.
I wish I could just show you what I found…but then you wouldn’t understand, because you hadn’t experienced giving that love to you, and finding that joy…the most important part of this entire journey down here 🙂
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
“And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?”
“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.”
What can I say, that first encounter (First Love!) was over 12 months ago.
She crossed my mind often, in between life’s many wanderings…but not to make ‘that’ meeting again.
It felt like a loss, but not, because I was blessed with touching something so beautiful for what it was.
So I moved on, lived in a world somehow devoid a little because it felt so wonderfully close and personal, but never to be touched.
I had even tried to measure it against what I thought my life should be like, constantly a part of someone who made me feel that way.
Fool…expectations are a brace for the unwary, wanting of something that I couldn’t find in myself.
And because of that realisation, I let it go…gently, oh so gently.
And so in doing this, I allowed it to happen again…just by minding my own business, expectation-less and celebrating a birthday with a friend.
And there she was…I wasn’t sure what to do at first…a quick hello because of how unsure I felt, many people around us.
But the glow in that smile, the sparkle in those eyes could never hide this…this ‘connection’ beyond time.
We mingled with friends, always aware of a darted eye, a comment, and that smile that can only come from one place.
I also became aware my jaw was hurting again, like the first time, from smiling so much…but I didn’t care. I would recite a prayer 5 million times just to see her smile.
Many little chats began, but broken because we realised we were ignoring everyone else…but flowing so smoothly.
And suddenly we were by ourselves, wiping up the dishes, a chore by anyone’s standards…but we didn’t see it.
And even that came to an end, and my time was up, I had to leave…but never wanting to.
Unsure of what to say to end this day…I lifted my arms to show a farewell at the least by that embrace.
And it happened…….we gently embraced and joined together in the most beautiful serenity, melting into each other.
We floated in a sensation that when we met before was but a gentle flutter, now turning full force.
The world did not exist, nothing did but that beautiful touch within.
A moment as the ego wanted to know what it meant, but I released it and moved beyond it into acceptance. Just a perfect moment where everything was…was…just so perfect.
Not a word was spoken, it didn’t need to be. Not a movement was made, it was no longer required…we just were.
I have felt many things in this life, touched many hearts, experienced much love, physically and spiritually in the healing’s around me.
But this…words could not utter what was there in that moment…I was lost…and found…in the simplicity of that connection.
A singularity where all comes together in that one instant of time, to touch that perfection.
We finally released each other, very reluctantly, after what seemed like forever, and searched for a way to be together again.
And the universe opened and showed us a way…she would be back in two weeks.
I left. I smiled inside and out, my jaw hurting like crazy…by a pain I did not want to stop.
Two weeks?…14 days? Could I wait that long.
This is only day three…and look at what I have written.
Even my heart is beginning to ache…but it too is a pain I would gladly endure forever.
But above all that, is the one thing that is there above all else.
I ‘knew’, even before a word had been spoken…a calm ‘knowing’ that I was already there, a connection unlike any before.
Soul Mates? Or is that just the Universe opening a gate, to help us to walk through and find that truth within.
I’m reaching for the latch…hesitating…but I am lost already, and know it.
Smiling the smile of the heart, I follow my path…touching that place within us all, with a love like no other to guide us truly.
***Footnote: Well, a little time has now passed since I wrote the above, spirit had asked me to ‘delay’ putting it up. And I realise why now. I’ve had time to digest something that still leaves me amazed at this connection. But it wasn’t meant to be.
The lady in question is going through a very difficult time in her life so is in no space to be wanting a relationship at the moment.
So, what does that mean…well, I do now realise, because of the previous relationship that I was in, that if it didn’t ‘connect’ with the incredible power that it did, I may not have told myself ‘it is time to move on’, and wanted to. It isn’t until we are faced with these issues that we really look within and make those decisions. Don’t get me wrong, I have been quite happy in going where I have gone in life, but I think it may be time to ‘change’ my direction, hence the ‘contact’ with another beautiful soul.
But beyond that…I was allowed to touch something…feel and see something that is within us all. And I smile all the more inside for the ‘knowing’ of that beauty, and what is gently waiting as we step past our fears, and open truly to a whole new way of being 🙂
(An old, but important reblog for a friend)
But which one? The one that goes pump, pump…or the one we feel every little emotional vibration with? Or are they the same one?
The Journey we all make within, one way or the other, can come at any time in our lives. Usually at a time of deep emotional upheaval due to a loss of something…a partner through divorce, the security of a job, a death in the family or even from facing a fear …and sometimes all of them. And in response to this we often feel the pain deep inside with an emotional agony that we think will never leave us. We have all been there sometime in our lives and know this isn’t an easy time.
It takes a long time, going through the stages of grief, anger, fear, loss to finally reach an acceptance of what has happened. This can take years and in the final view, we look back at different times in our life and see that we actually change over this time frame and see we have actually changed in how we feel about what has happened. Why? Is it because we are not as close to the situation any more…or maybe we have reached an understanding that yes, we have lost something but now that the waves of emotion have finally settled to a more manageable level we can see that we have come to a point of accepting, and have changed in such a way that many of those things we used to worry about, don’t really matter anymore, are no longer important, and our direction in life has taken on a whole new meaning for us. We find that as our life progresses we are able to handle these situations in a much better way.
As a child when we lose something it is called a ‘spak attack’, as for them this is an absolute loss and the only way to express this is directly from the heart. Scream, yell and cry your eyes out. (And I might add it is a very good way to release tension and stress from the body…but you try and do this each time, as an adult, that you don’t get your way and watch out…the boss, wife, boyfriend is going to be loooong gone very quickly). As a child gets older this is…beaten, scolded and ‘learned’ out of them. They begin to take on the persona of those adults and people around them, mainly because they are people that they love and look up to, until such a time, usually around eight years old, that it is locked in, walled up, covered over and second nature to them, and these attitudes are carried on into adulthood. And of course how they act, to them, seems so right and correct, that they react so badly to all the other children and their ‘right and correctness’ that they close down that tiny little pump, pump thing, (or was it the other one?), so that they can no longer be hurt by it any more. They are all so sure that they are right in their attitude, (well, it was taught to them by their loved ones), and they might agree with the stronger children, (who wants to get taunted, embarrassed, abused or bashed?), but deep inside they still side with mum and dad.
So now we have the little problem of all those things tucked away inside, ready for those unwary souls that want to be a part of who you are. Boss’s, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, husbands and wives. And what a Pandora’s box! I’ll always remember my first girlfriend. How on earth did she make me do all those things…the guys would laugh their backsides off…but I came back for more, and more. What was this funny attitude I had…this gooey, intense, adoring, couldn’t stand to be away from her type feeling…ever. Where did that come from? Yes, I loved my mum and dad, brothers and sisters. But this, it was like a Bullet Train, so fast and POW, at the platform already and didn’t care where we went. Then she broke it off…the world came crashing down…I felt like I was dying. She had pulled out my heart and left it on the street to be downtrodden forever.
And as we progress into this world of pain, love, pain, love…we reinforce those things we are taught from youth by closing down our hearts from pain, opening it up to love, over and over. Until one day you just can’t do it anymore, your so tired and scared of being hurt, that you decide to close up shop and not let anyone come near that poor little pump, pump and its emotional connection to you.
But what if we knew, really knew, that we had actually put ourselves in this position in the first place? What if it was meant to be! What if it was needed, so that we could truly understand what it was like to be down at the lowest point in fear, anger, pain and hurt from our reactions to all those things that happen in our lives…so that when we ARE at the opposite end, and are happily ecstatic, madly in love…don’t you think we would be so much more appreciative because of what we have suffered and now learned what it was to be like at the bottom of the human emotional ladder? The learning we understand when we know that ‘opening our hearts’ is actually a beautiful place to be. Giving you great strength and fearlessness to deal with everyday life? The healing that takes place when we open, and in that healing being able to heal others? The ability to create on such a level that it amazes you, let alone those around you? This learning is so powerful that as each and every one of us interact it creates a wisdom within that is taken wherever we go and used as an encyclopaedia for everything we do. If you haven’t learned it properly, you do it again, (and even keep telling yourself inside ‘why did I do that again, I know better!’).
And that is just on the outside, physically. On the inside is just the same, you do the range of emotions and learn from that as well, with many an admonition to never do that again. But we do…why…because the urge to feel that one thing that we are missing in our lives, and comes closest when we are in love…is to love ourselves…totally and unconditionally. If you think I’m wrong, then why is it that we always put ourselves down, feel that we are not capable of something or avoid something through fear. Think about it, we act exactly how we think of ourselves. If you are angry, that’s how you act. If you are happy, that’s how you act. If you unconditionally love yourself, that’s how you act…how many people do you see that love themselves unconditionally. Not many, I’m sure.
What would it be like to live with people like that, no stress, no pain, no anger…sounds like heaven. Do you think I’m kidding you? You don’t think that we go along each day convincing ourselves that everything is ok and concentrate only on the good bits and ignore the rest? Yes, that works for a while, but I’ll let you in on a little secret…YOUR Higher Self, Guide, Spirit, God deliberately puts you into a position so that you face that very fear/problem you were so desperately trying to avoid. If you battle it out to get your own way and avoid it…it will roll back up down the track a bit further. Still think I’m rambling on…then tell me, which one of those fears/problems have you been able to avoid and it’s never come back? Zero, nada…not a one! Because that is where you wish to go…and you know this deep inside. And when you look back you will actually see some of the things that you do…the arguments, actions and things that at the time seemed the right thing,(and to your Self, it is), but looking back you cringe and think ‘did I really do that’.
And when you have time to really absorb this you will finally realise it has turned out for the best. There will be turns and twists that make you feel that the world is out to get you but in the end you WILL be able to smile again, you WILL be able to feel again…and above all, you WILL be able to LOVE again. And each time from a much better place. Yes, sometimes they create more fear, like scared to open up to someone again, but that is your journey that you chose, and you WILL get past that too, and each time be more beautiful inside as you realise you are coming home…to you…where all the love in the universe is…and always has been.
As you begin to understand this, be prepared to feel something…something that you know within is a deep truth…that could only come from one source, and learn to listen to what your Higher Self, Spirit, Guide or God is really saying…to show you a path that is eon’s old and as fresh as today…and a healing for that little pump, pump that you hold so dear!
The soul…eternal…connected…sharing…as one.
But just imagine being eternal…ageless…forever part of these multiverses.
A balance…at times physical…emotional…spiritual…independent, in the many forms taken.
A ‘life’ that goes on and on, forever seeking….something.
It cannot just ‘be’, for it is always absorbing, accepting from all around.
Otherwise it would stagnate, diminish and be absorbed into what ‘is’.
In all its ever journey’s it senses, touches, and experiences all around.
For a knowledge like no other, that thing that we all seek…even in our part ‘down here’.
All parts living a journey, to blossom, reveal and understand that path.
Cycles upon cycles, ever reaching to find that something, that meaning to sate that urge within.
Until our path is revealed, each time a blossoming in knowledge as that understanding is reached.
But where are we going? What purpose does a destination have in forever.
For if we found it, we would also stagnate, purpose released.
Then a traveler must be a purpose within itself, that constant journey, a journey to find self.
That place that is changing within, in each experience that we do.
Each time building self, that love within from those many understandings that they give.
Showing us ourselves in each passing moment…to be felt, realised…savored even.
We are travelers, moving, always moving…but within that movement blossoms a love,
even as a flower does, always changed, no two the same, but so beautiful within themselves.
So I bid you welcome fellow traveler, I greet you and share this moment in time.
May your travels enlighten, touch that soul, to begin another journey as each change brings a new love within.
In all that we do in our lives, the largest most meaningful act that we do…is to seek love. It is the one thing that drives us, above all else…to find a love that will complete us, give us that happiness we so desperately search for, and a smile that goes on forever!
But each time we think we’ve found it, through those rose coloured glasses (initially) that block out those bits that may seem a little rough around the edges, it slowly resolves to its truth. Those once overlooked parts slowly creep out of the closet along with a dose of reality that make us take a step back to figure out just where we are in this maze of feelings.
And each time it slowly pushes a button, which we ignore for a while but slowly it becomes three feet across and weighs a ton. Try doing that up on your jacket with a one inch hole.
So what does this all mean, this never ending search for someone ‘out there’ who will fulfill this lifelong attempt to find this place that is supposed to be the nadir, the elixir of eternal happiness.
Each time we ‘find’ that special someone we do go through that ‘rose coloured glasses’ period for a reason. It will show us, and hold us, in a very beautiful connection of love. Move the earth, walk on water and a happiness like no other. It is teaching us this love so that we understand that ‘oh so beautiful feeling’, and what is possible in this incredible journey that we are on.
But the button bit also has a purpose. The pain that slowly rises up among this blissful place asks us to look within. Yes, in the early relationships we always point the finger at the other party and know by how we are being treated that this is not love. And these things can test us like no other. A love that holds us there desperately wanting to be loved but constantly being pierced by this pain.
But this has purpose too. We don’t want to leave, but can’t stay either. This, push me pull you, constantly waging a war of attrition trying to find a way through. And as each battle is raged we look for a way out, to repair or finally give up the ghost on something that has so much meaning for us. Yes, we are afraid, petrified of losing the beauty that has so much meaning for us…because within that is the one thing that drives our hearts like no other. But it also has the other thing that tears it apart as well…fear!
And that fear touches a pain from our childhood, a feeling of rejection, a hurt that at that age leaves a very big mark in our lives. And the ones we love with an open heart later in life, also touch these places, and the feeling is so raw and painful. It is this that shows us our journey, to look within and find what that pain means within us.
It will hide deeply because we’ve had a lifetime of burying it, hiding it and avoiding anything that brings that pain to the surface. But it is only by looking within, seeing it in its true light, that we can finally understand what it was that we felt was so painful, and let it go in that understanding.
And then we are free…free to love ourselves, forgive others and move past those bars that kept us viewing life from a distance. It truly does show us within that we ‘do matter’, and very much so. It shows us, in understanding our fear, how to love ourselves.
When I finally found it I was in shock because even for someone with my awareness, I had hidden it, disguised it, and gave this mask to myself and out into the world. And in that understanding I was free, and I don’t mean just free to do whatever I wished….this freedom is like nothing else, because you see, my fear had bound me in everything I did, it was a part of every breathing moment in all that I was. It’s like wearing a helmet 24 hours a day, you slowly get used to it and it becomes second nature, but you can’t see properly, you can’t do things because it confines your natural movement, it weighs you down in all that you do. But when I truly ‘saw’ what it was…I broke into tears and a weight like no other left me, I literally floated for weeks after it.
And because it was gone, I viewed everything from a complete new way…and the incredible part was…I was no longer guided by this fear…I no longer needed to be guided, I could now choose my path, where before it was chosen by the fear.
AND, the part that has totally blown me away…I no longer ‘need’ to find that love ‘out there’. Yes, I would like to share my love with someone, but it is no longer driven by that ‘need’ that had always been there, ever driving me to find that love and happiness for myself within another. I can now see that it was all a projection, I was always sending my fear ‘out there’ and attracting accordingly so that I ‘can’ deal with my fear, understand and release it, to find that freedom and love within.
It is a very strange place, because of that lifetime of always seeking love with that weight on our shoulders, things all take on a new light. I can now truly see so many things that before were blindfolded to me because of my fear. I now have ‘time’, and lots of it. The urge to do something or be something is gone, it no longer matters. I matter, as another beautiful blogger, maryrose, has given me the key many, many times in her beautiful replies. And while ever ‘I matter’ and I learn that loving myself is the key, then that is what I will always attract into my life as a natural course, just as the sun rises and sets every day, displaying a unique and beautiful sight each time in its journey.
It isn’t easy to seek our love, that is why it has so much impact in our lives. But in finding it, it will leave a mark like nothing else ever will…a love that will never be blocked out by life again because we have loved ourselves to find it…and a love like no other…that IS unconditional love.
May you be the love that you seek.
This post below (Part 1) is from my original page ‘The Death’ up on the menu bar. It was an encounter that I was privileged to experience and feel with spirit in my journey to understand my fears as I go through life. It was also a very profound and life changing event that has changed me forever. I was shown just what happens as we let go of this journey of life down here, the emotions, feelings…but most of all, the understanding that what we have experienced down here, isn’t the end of the journey…but a profound learning in building that unconditional love in us all.
For others that have read this post, I’m also adding a new section (Part 2), at the bottom of this post for something that I found I needed time to digest and understand, as it was very much outside what we normally view as death. We usually view it from where we are now at, down here contemplating ‘is this it’, ‘what comes next’. But the view I am adding is what I was shown from our spiritual side and just what this journey means to us, as a spiritual being experiencing ‘life’ in our journey.
This can be quite confronting, depending on your beliefs and attitude towards death, but it also does something else that I feel needs to be shown, and that is a truth that will ease our fear of death and help remove that ‘unknown’ factor, at least enough to allow us to understand our journey down here a little better and how we view what we think is the ‘so called’ final act within it.
In removing something that we carry with us all our lives, it can do something wonderful…allow us to live…free from a fear that weighs us down like any fear, and be the truth within, no longer reacting to things around us, but acting from choice and choosing to live while we are down here in this beautiful place!
Um, let’s change the subject!
Why? Are you afraid of death? I was, and I have to admit something here, not only was I afraid of death, I totally swept it under the carpet and didn’t want to go there unless I absolutely had to. A family member or friend passes away and you have no choice but to bring it back into view and face that thing that hovers in the back of your mind to which we block nearly all the time. It’s healthy to respect our time down here and know it’s for a finite time. Our fear is only produced because of how we are brought up around it and that little thing called the ‘unknown’ when we finally go there.
Now if it was an easy thing to do we would give it no wisdom, no respect and end it all because things were getting hard and life was becoming quite painful. But that fear, that unknown, allows us to give it the respect it deserves. Like all other aspects of our lives, The Love, The Fear, The Heart, The Truth etc, we do not know or understand these until we go through that journey that relates to each and every aspect of ourselves. That hard and sometimes quite painful time so that we can experience each facet that is our true selves so that we can understand and gain that wisdom of all of these to create the balance that is as unique as it is beautiful. Like a diamond. No two ever the same but indescribably beautiful in their own right.
I felt this on different occasions and it wasn’t until I read a book called ‘Journey Of Souls’ by Michael Newton that I let out this huge sigh and felt this incredible release, and understood and realised I was holding in this absolute fear, ticking away underneath, of a time that IT was going to sneak up on me and drag me away. The explanation in this book had finally touched something within me and for the first time in my life I could let go of this ‘thing’ that had been a part of me, kept in denial, and affecting a lot of things I did, felt and understood within my life. It was amazing just how it affected my attitudes and directions I would take because of that fear. I felt almost afraid to do things that would appear to be simple to most people (then again for them, maybe they weren’t), but kept me from stretching out, and to put it bluntly, live!
So after reading this book about the journey of souls as told by a lot of people under hypnosis, explaining the different aspects of the soul and how it integrates with our bodies in its journey, I let this fear go. The relief and realisation that I had let this affect me in so many ways also let me understand that like all other aspects of our learning and wisdom, I needed to feel that side first (The Reverse), before I could move into that, release and understand where I had come from, so I could now move into where I wanted to be. So many things that had been affected by my holding that fear was now being looked at from such a different space like night and day. The let go, the release, and actually just be me. All this time I had thought I was me. Not even close. I could now see because I had let down that protection, the walls that I had around me, physically and emotionally, I had now let myself see further than ever before. Step out into life differently, freely and more accepting of just why I’m here. I could now see beyond the wall and realise I was deliberately choosing to live. And that fear, the fear of dying, was the wall, and it was keeping me from living. Always it’s the reverse of what we think it is, but with that understanding we begin to realise it’s always the fears that keep us from really going where we want to go. And when we finally realise this, the walls come down, the fear subsides and at last, with the blinkers removed, the vista changes to one of wonder. Of a new experience, a new attitude and a new way of being.
Now up to this point I had thought that I had a good understanding of just what death was, an end to a path that had given me the wisdom and knowledge to realise my truth by releasing so many fears and balancing out my life in such a way as to be able to come from a place within that was truly unconditional. Little did I know. Now don’t get me wrong, ALL I have previously said is my truth, and also very much needed to understand my path as I strive to live on this planet. Spirit in its wisdom let me absorb all that went before so I could truly understand it, integrate it within and be able to express it properly here so that others may understand. But there was one thing missing from the equation that I have mentioned previously, and that is true understanding, to actually experience and feel the action so that you really do understand what has occurred. Like my previous comment, ‘you can be told that if you put your hand in the fire it will hurt’, but you never truly understand it until you do actually burn your hand, and know the incredible pain, agony and hurt that is created by that act. Something you never forget and can describe in detail because of the physical and emotional imprint it leaves on you.
Well, to show you how incredible this journey can become, spirit came to me one night and showed me just what it was that I needed to understand as part of my sojourn on this lovely blue planet so that I can express it here and give you some understanding and idea of just what it is we are here for. Now again, I say that this is my journey, but having said that we can all go on a trip to the city or into the country but some will walk, some will take a bus or train and some will even go in a Lamborghini. The whole purpose is to realise what it means to you in doing this trip. I might not even like Lamborghini’s, but I’d love to go for a trip in one though! Just for that experience. Anyway, this is always about you and what you want to understand and feel that this journey does for you.
Now the following is an account of that incredible experience I had during that night, that brought together quite a few of the subjects that I have been writing about. I had been speaking to several friends about the subject of mortality because of the situation I now find myself in. I had been diagnosed with emphysema at the grand young age of 54 (take note of my smoking for 18 yrs, from 18 to 36yrs old, and working within a coal dust environment for the same period, give it up guys!), and was beginning to realise that this had taken place quite quickly. I had only noticed how serious it was over the last 3 years as I was getting quite short of breath and just thought my studies and writing at a computer was generating a lack of exercise and the relevant lack of fitness. So I now found myself realising that this isn’t what I really wanted out of life, I wanted more time, more quality of giving to life’s better things. What are those better things? I soon realised that when your mortality begins to knock on your door, those things I spoke of before, as in wanting to do things that didn’t seem important, and letting go of things that were important at the time, that no longer seemed important anymore, you begin to see your entire journey from a very different perspective. It lets you look back and understand where you have come from, what you have achieved within yourself, and then adjust accordingly to where your heart wants you to go. To give meaning to your journey and give a truth to just what it is that you wish to become within you.
Now at this point of time I had not had much sleep for three consecutive nights so was quite tired so I fell asleep quite quickly and solidly, but at about 4am spirit brought me up to ‘our’ conversation depth (explained in ‘The Dreaming’), and began to show me an understanding that quite literally took my breath away with it’s incredible inclusion of most of what I’ve written about before under the menu headings, and of how this all fits together. Spirit then also showed me something that left me so totally speechless that when I became aware enough to reach over and record this I actually turned the recorder on and just sat there with my mouth wide open and could not utter a thing. It was so profound that all I could feel was this total elation of understanding, grinning from ear to ear with tears running down my face. And after what seemed like ages I started to speak in a totally awed and quiet voice this vision that spirit had given me as an understanding of this journey that we all take, to find us, to create that beautiful creature that is inside each and every one of us, to finally reach that part we all yearn for and become…an enlightened being!
And this is how it works. All of our lives we have lots of fears that we create, cope with and adapt to within our day to day living. These fears are usually quite strong so they seriously affect what we do and so determine our journey by how much power we give those fears. When we go through a fear the huge release that is generated by this action allows the release of walls we have built, physically in the body as well as emotionally, and opens us up quite strongly to a physical release of endorphins etc and an emotional release by crying or screaming out in joy because you have come through such an amazing experience. This is an ‘enlightenment’, an understanding of what went before, what was endured and what you now feel afterwards. I don’t mean we are now ‘enlightened’, what is referred to as someone who has evolved to such a point that they no longer need the physical journey we are now on. But, I do mean it is an ‘enlightenment’ because it creates an understanding for that particular part of what you needed to understand in this part of your journey.
Now as we cover all these fears within our lives we become more ‘enlightened’ on our path to such a point that your ‘wisdom’ and ‘understanding’ has reached a place that allows you to impart this wisdom to those around you just by being who you now are. Those fears include all those things in our lives like The Love, The Reverse, The Truth so they are integrated into just who you are. You have reached a point that you are more comfortable in who you are, what has meaning for you and you integrate that meaning into your daily life. There’s just one more to go, the one thing that we joke about, avoid, deny, won’t talk about unless we have to, and that is our death. We say and give our condolence’s to friends and family and go through some of the most horrendous times in our lives due to the loss of those family and friends and this gets us the closest to it, but we still do not want to dwell on it in any way. And this is very understandable, who wants to die? Who wants this life to end, and more to the point….what ‘IS THERE’ when we finally let go of this path that we are now on?
I’m now going to put into words something that I find difficult to say in the least. I saw what spirit showed me, I understood what spirit showed me and most certainly felt what spirit showed me. But after all that…the experience left me in such an uplifted state of wonder that I feel I may belittle it for my lack of words or description. It’s like a beautiful sunset. You can say it was beautiful, wonderful and an amazing splendour…but when asked to describe it you say…well, it had oranges and purples and a blue background behind it with a yellow sun….and it just doesn’t do it justice in any way. So…here is my understanding of something that we all will one day touch, feel and understand so as to become that which we all wish to become. That ‘Enlightened’ being that has reached its nadir, its peak, it’s understanding of self.
So spirit says ‘You’re going to die!’. Now if you have read my story under The Love you’ll understand my reply of ‘Speak to the hand!’. And to top that off I already had the understanding that spirit had showed me (in November 2010), that I was going to die when I was 60 years old. At the time I was in the most incredible place of falling in love with the most wonderful woman in the world. I could have moved mountains, smiling like an idiot and loving every moment. And out of the blue one night spirit bobbed up and told me that I was going to die at 60 yrs old. Unusual because I always get a panoramic understanding of anything I get from spirit, a total data set that explains the what, why, where etc. But in this instance it was so abrupt and singular that it left a huge imprint on me by the fact that it was so direct and to the point. Now I know why. I needed to be in that space so that I could understand my journey, my mortality and be able to express this here, and now give this understanding for all that read this and take this journey as well.
Well, spirit thankfully thinks differently to me and with the most loving kindness, gently showed me my journey, how I was going to get there and the reason why I would experience this part of my life. After many, many years of dealing with my lower emotions of anger, hate, fear and balancing them with the happiness, love, and truth using The Reverse, The Heart, The Love, The Dreaming etc as my guide to understanding, and in that understanding releasing those fears that guided my life on an everyday basis, it was time for spirit to show me the final act. The one thing that must be faced that we obstinately refuse to touch, and for a very good reason. As I have said before, we only ever learn something when it has a big impact on our lives, affects us in such a way that we cannot but help to learn something from it, and because of that learn the wisdom that is a part of that lesson. Well this is no different. If it was easy, every time we hit a brick wall of pain, hurt and a loveless time in our lives we would just end it all…and miss the one thing that all this is trying to give us, that understanding, the wisdom, so that we can find the ‘enlightened’ and beautiful creature within that we are trying to become. And as life goes on after each of these hard times in our lives we begin to accept that this is an important part of our journey.
It is a very abrupt, to the point, in your face, meeting with death. You begin to realise that this is it, no turning back or maybe tomorrow is a better day. You have to finally stare it in the face. And it was then that I realised something, while I was seeing this ending, this last act….I was going over many, many things that I had said, did, felt and done with many people in my life, I was…letting them all go…releasing all that had gone before…understood that what I had given was the best I could do and accepting of that…and then another understanding came with that…this was in fact a grieving of that life…something that we never seemed to allow ourselves because society says ‘get up, keep going, be strong’. Which is fine for the support that we desperately need at those times in our lives…but do we truly grieve properly…let go of all those hurts and pain that are a part of this time in our lives…that release and acceptance of what we felt for the loss of that partner, friend or family that we were so close to. But in this instance it is the loss of ourselves…the releasing and letting go of who and what we are…that final thing because there IS nothing else…there is no life to turn back to…no getting on with our lives…trying to pull everything back together and begin again…it is the last let go…total and utter release…and just be.
Going into that grief is to totally let everything go. No hanging on to something to support us. The whole idea at the end is to ‘let go’, ‘release all’ to accept and allow self to come through. It’s a total embracing of death that allows the transition. It is giving to self ‘unconditionally’ and accept who and what you truly are within. The relief is incredible. It’s like the release of the entire worlds troubles and the acceptance of unconditional love all at once. It is very difficult to put this into enough words that it can be understood and embraced for all the different things that it means all at once. Like being in a fairground with so many colours, actions, voices and people all around. It gives such an incredible feeling of wonder, excitement and happiness from all that is around you, that you don’t need to understand it, it just is, and you accept it for what it is. Now, truthfully, that description of a fairground is not close, that is just an idea that may give you an understanding of what I’m trying to explain. When all is said and done, it is just ‘total perfection’. I think even a diamond has its flaws, but not this, this IS a total knowing and feeling of the love and beauty of this wonderful universe that we are a part of…eternally!
And this led to another realisation…spirit on its own cannot touch, feel or sense as is done from within this physical body…it is a total, unique sensation and understanding in its own right. It is a never before taken pathway to be shown and given wisdom for the understanding of unconditional love. It is then that I also realise that the actual journey within this body that we do here on this physical plane on Earth, is such an incredible blessing, to be part of such a beautiful creation to enable us to reach such a point within so that we may be complete. It’s a path that can be so painful, so lovely, so at odds from one moment to the next, that when it is that final time, that last step on your journey to finish who you are, and what you have become, the awareness and beauty that is finally understood, gives such an indescribable joy within as you realise it is all totally there in utter perfection for exactly who you are so that you may understand it and know it’s purpose. Regardless of all the mistakes, problems and horrible times that we have endured it is exactly what we needed to do, so that we can find and understand just who we are within.
It was then that I felt it…I’m wishing to cry at this very moment because of the beauty and love of what this moment means…the understanding of all that went before, the feeling of completeness, the truth of accepting the love that was integrated in all that I had done, the knowing that I can now let go, I am realising that it’s over. I’m coming back to who I really am. Returning to that instance of total and unconditional love. Truly a total acceptance of just being as one again. And as I let go and accept, I feel a release of my body, but there is no fear, no worry of ‘what if’, it’s a complete release of that Lamborghini that has seen me out for many, many years and release it with love as part of who I once was. I am now ‘coming home!’. Coming home to what I’ve always been and now realise, I am. The journey before is now the thing that is ‘not real’. Totally understood but now realised within to be an incredible experience and to add to something that is a completion of who I am. The love that is a part of us always, no matter where we are!
To finally understand this journey, that process of life and the many amazing things that we do within that life, I can now look back and truthfully see, feel and understand it’s purpose. All those things that we toss away in frustration, yell at in anger and even those moments where we really lose it and do some of those things that we totally regret forever are here for a reason. They show you….you! It makes you look inside and talk to yourself over and over and over. Trying to understand why, how you can change it and most importantly give you understanding as to whether you want to be like that or create something better that you do want to be. It’s a long slow process, even though sometimes you want to get off this crazy ride. But in hindsight you will realise that you are probably glad that it did take it’s time and you were able to really gain the understanding and wisdom that is needed for that journey. All of the things that spirit showed me were for my benefit, but for me to understand I needed to go through and feel each and every part so that I may fully understand it all. From the ‘dark night of the soul’ to truly look within after a horrendous part of my life, to understanding myself within so I could partake of life again, then give from each understanding I made as it was integrated into who I was. Each and every aspect I was given changed everything. Allowed me to drop more and more fears so that I could be who I truly am, and more importantly have the understanding that it all comes back to that one thing that everything is a part of…unconditional love! When you finally understand it, it’s meaning, it’s place and it’s part of creating everything by being a total process. The up’s, the down’s, the hate and the love, you then understand it IS a total part of everything. You cannot have one without the other. It is an incredible perfection that allows us all, with all our so called imperfections, to be totally loved and included individually within this beautiful place, and be helped and guided to reach that wisdom and the total love that is there for all.
Just remember, this creation we are a part of, this body that is helping you on your journey, your spirit within that whispers to your heart, is all here for you. It is your time, your creating expression from what you have learned and understood, and your building of that beautiful creature within so that you may reach that place that we all yearn for while on this journey down here. That place of total and unconditional love where all is in place within, the final and total acceptance and love of ourselves, makes us the perfect creation we are meant to be. And finally reach that place, that yearning to connect, and be a part of all that is.
The above post is everything that I was shown on that journey with spirit…bar one other ‘small’ event that has taken me some time to digest, simply because it is something I have never seen before. And I will be the first to admit that it rocked me, simply because this life teaches a very high understanding of our journey, but as for death, very little. And maybe it is for me to understand for MY journey. Like what I have written above, you may ‘see’ much within it or only confirm what is already known for yourself. Most information can be felt by the truth it portrays within you. You can ‘feel’ a truth by simply in how it makes you feel within. When you sit and speak your heart, totally open, to another, it is a very peaceful, releasing and positive feeling for you. If it is not a truth, it is felt as a binding, uncomfortable and negative experience.
WARNING: Please read all of this section in total or it can be taken out of context. Within your spiritual or soul form you are totally ‘aware’ of everything all at once. There are NO confusing ‘what if’s’ or ‘maybe’s’ or any hesitation whatsoever. You just are. I’m trying to explain something that is a very small fraction of what I felt as part of that whole. As I spoke above of that ‘fairground’ feeling with so much happening around you all at once, it is a million times more complex….but so very much simpler within that state.
So there I was…taking in such an enormity but total understanding of that process of letting go, transferring from that human relating of life to what I really am within, that all knowing, beautiful and peaceful soul that is my normal state. I was in such a loving place that I felt complete, I was home. And in that split second of letting go to start moving towards ‘whatever’ was next…I’ll never know…until I do actually die. Spirit had blocked any further understanding from that point. But in that split second before then, I had seen and felt an incredible understanding that shocked me, and I think that is what had broken my connection with spirit at that point, purposely, so that I could understand what I had been shown.
What I had been shown up to that point is all that mattered for now, it is all that I needed to understand and relate to for where my journey has been going. That split second held a wealth of information and it has taken me over two years to digest and come to terms with what had been shown. And not because of what I was actually shown, as it was a very small piece of that event, but by what it meant to me back down here. (By the way, my references to ‘up there’ or ‘down here’ is just for ease of understanding).
I saw and felt the Earth (down there), but it was disappearing very quickly…but that wasn’t what rocked me…it was the feelings and thoughts that went with it. All I could sense at that time was…it is done…let it go, release it…it has served its purpose. Even the people that I loved and held so close…no longer mattered. I was shocked by my off handed manner. My journey had been completed and so what went before was now irrelevant. There was no longer anything to worry about, I had done what my soul needed to do. Now remember that this is instantaneous, everything is just ‘done’…if I thought I knew what living in the ‘now’ was, I really didn’t have a clue till I felt all of this…it just ‘was’. I’m trying to explain something so that you can understand what I was trying to come to grips with. And it was shown to me this way so I could understand it ‘up there’, and then relate it ‘down here’
Now, if you thought the above was in your face, that’s understandable. So this next bit I’m going to try to explain it in my way the best I can so that you can ‘see’ something and allow you to relate to it properly.
The above didn’t matter to me for a very simple reason…I ‘knew’ that I would see them all again. I didn’t need to think about them in any way quite simply because I didn’t need to worry about it. There were no thoughts of ‘what if’, ‘when’, ‘how’, ‘why’ etc. Remember, the soul is instant, that ‘knowing’ is all. We are only slowed down on Earth to absorb what we are experiencing in human form. Up here it just ‘is’. Now please, do not think that our loved ones are not within our soul/spirits thoughts…with great love they are FULLY aware of our journey back down here and what we are experiencing so that we will be complete in our understanding. I’m only relating this tiny piece for the simple reason that it has great meaning for us to realise ‘some’ of what is happening ‘up here’.
To give this more understanding, let me explain it this way. Let’s say that you are spending time with a friend, you’ve met them at your rendezvous, spent a good time together and you now decide to go to your place for a cup of coffee. Your friend says ‘I’m just going by my house so I can pick some flowers, I’ll meet you at your place in 20 minutes’. You go home and prepare the coffee. In that 20 minutes you do not give your friend a second thought. You have no reason to think anything about them, to worry or even think that they wouldn’t be turning up.
WHY….because there is no need to give it any thought….just as your soul/spirit is doing ‘up there’. They KNOW you will be together again, there is no reason to even think otherwise, it is a ‘known’ quantity. The time between when they have passed over and left the Earth, and when you will be together again, is but a moment.
And I think the reason it has taken me so long to digest all of this, and put into words, is because I have never looked at it in this way. Down here is a whirlwind of ‘what if’s’ of what is ‘up there’. A lifetime of not knowing, and to be truthful because of that, not wanting to look at it. Suddenly I’ve been shown something that really does affect a lifetime’s way of being.
So, what DOES this mean for us ‘down here’? Everything! It allows us to release a fear, you know, one of those things than we drag around all over. Those things that test us in so many ways so that we can go through them and find that love that is inside us all. This journey has so much beauty within it, even though those tough moments really test us to such a degree. I have seen something that has given me such a relief, release and such a greater outlook on life. It is a game changer in everything that I do BECAUSE of that understanding about death.
For most of us we have touched death in varied ways. Acquaintances, friends and those very heartfelt connections of our loved ones that have passed over. The grief is one thing that holds us so tightly because of the loss of that loved one and the beauty that was shared, within that loss. But grief has a huge purpose, it allows us to see and feel something that is built on a love like no other. It also allows us, by that loss and pain, to look within and find another love, one built on the empathy that comes from going through such a time, a healing love that leads to that love within.
I have written this above to give an understanding so that our journey may be a little less fear and pain, and a little more healing love inside so that our paths in that awareness will be built on a stronger love and empathy, and a knowledge that what is waiting, is a beauty beyond anything I could describe. We will miss those that we love, but we will also be with them again…the flowers they are picking as they drop in home…will be a love and beauty like no other.
Ask anyone who is in their sunset years knows how fast time really goes down here, it is much faster than we give it credit, and we can see that as we get older. It is a very short time, and within it is crammed a huge amount of beauty, all so we can find ourselves, that unconditional love that is a part of us all. All too soon this magic is swapped for another (up there). But down here, this magic cannot be experienced up there, that is why we are here. This is ‘our time’ to find that beauty within, not to be experienced in this way ever again. Our journey has great meaning for us all…and then we too will be sharing those beautiful flowers with those we love again.
May the Force be with you…and it always is…calling, calling, calling!
Many times in our lives it will knock, just a light brush to see if your ready yet. Those odd moments when it makes us sit back and digest this occurrence because it is an event that doesn’t gel with our ‘logic’ and ‘science’ that this world teaches.
It will be just enough to ask that question…is it true? Was I imagining it? And our awareness has now been nudged.
We will let it go…but with an ear cocked in case it flirts with us again.
And it will…because we want it too. By being aware we have told the universe we want to understand this ‘thing’, see what it means to us and how it will affect our lives.
And after each time it knocks on our door, we gradually build a belief…yes, we begin to believe because it has done that magical thing that even in this world tells us it’s true….it happens more than once, even twice or three times…but by then we ‘know’…and the ‘knowing’ within begins.
And it will be exactly what is needed so that YOU can see it in action within your life. You begin to understand that it has laws, just like this world (‘as above, so below’). And the more you walk in your truth, integrity and love, the more you attract those things that you have always hoped for in you’re life. Because this world is full of its reverse, the hate, anger and fear.
This world will test you in every way it can…so that now that this understanding of another world has been shown to you, you will slowly see the wisdom of that journey, and realise that to have that happiness in your life that we all so earnestly seek, you can now trust what you have now been shown within.
All it takes is that first step…you know, the one that says ‘no’ to the infidelities of this world, the one that finally shows that you are now going to be loving to yourself by standing in that truth and integrity, and no longer stand in the fears of this world and say ‘yes’ to everyone else but yourself.
Each time you go to do something that you are not comfortable with you will know you are not standing in your truth. And I don’t mean using it as an excuse to not do something, it is the integrity that your heart also shows you each time in any circumstance. By standing in that truth and follow what you know within is the right thing, you also begin to attract that beauty back into your life.
And it is all being done with love, because by standing in that truth within you ARE giving that love to you, and that is what you will now give back out, and attract accordingly. It is as natural as the air you breathe in and out every day. It is a balance like no other, and you have total control of the entire journey.
Take a step….I dare you 😀
Loving ourselves (unconditional), is our natural state, it is only the fears and walls that we build that block it. And as each fear or wall is removed we begin to ‘feel’ on a much different level.
It becomes easier and easier to understand and have much empathy for another, because of the love we actually give ourselves BECAUSE we have looked into those fears, had the courage to face them, and once understood we release them, they no longer hold us in the patterns that we give them.
Most people do not understand what it means to love ourselves. When we love another it is built with so many expectations (and I might add, a needed lesson like any other), because we look for beauty, attitudes, strength, and those other things like money, security etc. But when we give love to ourselves….there is no expectation, it is an unconditional love.
We don’t first look for something so that it is accepted when we face our fears, there are no conditions when we finally gain the courage to look within, see our pain for what it is, and finally understand what had kept our walls in place and then by removing them in that understanding, give that love to ourselves within that healing.
We remove the duality of feeling a low sense of self worth (by isolating ourselves by building walls to keep it at bay), and finally accept ourselves for exactly who we are. That is unconditional love, and not an expectation within miles.
Once we give ourselves that unconditional love, we then give from that place. It isn’t until we love ourselves that we truly can love another, with no expectations.
The following is a very profound and beautiful verse that a lovely lady (Christy) shared with me as a guest post on Michelle’s Lipstick and Laundry blog:
The Uses of Sorrow
(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)
Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.
(by Mary Oliver, from Thirst, Beacon Press, Boston, 2006)
And yes, that box full of darkness has great meaning. We cannot know that unconditional love until we know conditional love, it has great purpose.
Be brave, be strong and believe in you…for through that darkness is a beauty beyond measure. It is the truth of what you really are.
But if ok is enough, then you would never appreciate the discovery of that love within. It all leads back inside to finding your truth, that understanding that all your ‘looking’ for something out there, is really back inside your heart. And the only thing that is blocking it, is the fear to look within, that self doubt that we all have from years of having it drummed in that we aren’t good enough, not loveable which builds a wall of self doubt.
Look within, search for that part that upsets you the most, a switch that gets thrown when someone treats you a certain way and upsets you to the core, even creating an anger that you always try to suppress. And we all avoid looking because of that fear, who wants to go into something that makes us feel that way.
But there is your journey, because when you finally really look deep into it and for the first time ‘see’ what has been driving it for all these years….you will finally UNDERSTAND it…and it will no longer hold that fear anymore because you now see why it has held you fast…and you let it go, your life will change to such a degree it will feel like you have been released from jail after 50 years, it is that profound.
You will be changed forever….AND you will feel more closer and loving to yourself because you now see what has kept you in this unloving place. And in that love, you will find that thing that we all search for….happiness.
We had not allowed ourselves to touch that place within through those beliefs of ourselves….now there is no wall to block the truth of what we really are within. The duality that we all must face, to find that unconditional love within us all, can now be felt, seen and released, and we begin to stand in that truth….and just be glad and smile in that knowing 🙂
That is our path in all that we do down here on this lovely big blue planet. It is to find ourselves in the millions of ways that it is possible as we trip, stumble and sway to the rhythms of life. It all points back to how we feel about ourselves and how we express that out into the world.
We all seek that happiness, that well of love that will lift us out of all that we go through and save us from the pain and hurt that this life brings. But within it are great wisdom’s to find that self truth. How can we know and appreciate love unless we are treated poorly….how can we find our compassion and empathy unless we have lost and suffered. All we go through cannot be understood until we actually go through and feel them, the good and the bad.
This journey is filled with great pain, but also tempered with great love so that we UNDERSTAND what it is when we finally step into that love of ourselves….that unconditional love of self. And it is all given with a great love so that we CAN see that journey.
We all know when a truth touches us inside….follow that path…for it is the path home, to that happiness we all seek within.
It takes a big event in our lives to reach that place within where we finally stop, and sometimes after a very long time of persevering with something…a marriage, relationships with friends or family, a personal situation or even at work, and come to that place where we can see that enough is enough.
It is a very pivotal moment. It draws the fears to the surface but now instead of recoiling and trying to shove it down so it can no longer be seen as we usually do, we finally reach a place that we no longer wish to fight this any more and so we step through it. And it will push buttons that you have never tested before, a strange world where you stand up inside and take those first tentative, wobbly steps to reclaim a sense of self and a realisation that ‘I am worth so much more than this’.
And finally, in that realisation you will achieve something that a lifetime had not. The ability to give within…to give that self love from a truthful place and realise you ARE worth so much more.
So starts the journey to stand in that truth and become what this path seeks, the creation of a love that builds an understanding of love inside, but all starting from a place of fear so that we can see and appreciate what it has taken to find that place within. Both have much purpose, as one cannot be achieved without the other. Hard yes, but if it was easy it would be forgotten in a moment.
That relationship you have persevered with has given you the one thing that you have been seeking all your life…to find that self love and the true happiness that it holds.
Lets say your going through a divorce. And your ex-partner was to find another partner who makes them feel all happy, alive and excited with life…inside they will still be seeking their self love in that need to be with another…based on their fears. That happiness they seek can only be found in that self realisation. If you have found the reason that drove your fears within that relationship, you can now release them but not through anger or hurt, but from a place of understanding as you will now realise ‘why’ you were attracted to that relationship. This will allow you to forgive them (and yourself), now in your self realisation of what you have now understood…as they may not have found the beauty of what you have now become, and still looking to fill the pain and loss in their hearts.
This may take several relationships to ‘see’ that you seem to be hitting the same snags in your relationships, going through the same patterns, but this has purpose so that you ‘can’ see what is holding you back, the fear that will be underneath all your actions and keep you travelling that journey. Until finally it all comes to the surface and it cannot be hidden any longer. This is your moment, your chance to release something that has held you forever in a half truth of life, a place that had happiness but always marred by this thing that would pounce to always let you know that it was still a part of who you are.
And as that uproar settles you are now free to truly look inside and understand that the more you act in that self love, and I mean that with integrity and not a selfish way, your life will now slowly find a happiness, a true happiness where you no longer seek another based on those earlier fears of ‘not being loved or insecurity’ because you have now found that within yourself, the entire purpose of your journey.
Self love is an ability to truly look inside and realise what those fears were, and see how they have driven your life in so many ways and held you in those patterns. To face them IS self love for you will give to yourself something worth more than any other thing in this world. It is a freedom that is unbelievable when you finally step past it and feel that freedom for the first time, and in doing so you realise just how constrained you have been in all of your life. That fear constantly held ‘out of sight, out of mind’, not realising just how conformed you have become to living with it riding on your shoulders.
And as time slowly goes by you become more relaxed, more ‘seeing’ the world from a whole new perspective as you are no longer ‘on guard’ for the fear that was always there as you went about your life. This freedom begins to rebuild what you ‘want’ to be, rather than feeling ‘forced’ to be something by the world around you. A happier place where even if anything comes up in your life, your ability to cope is more at ease, relaxed and understanding….because you have been there, have much wisdom because of that journey and can now help others from now being in that place…and glad to do so.
The anger and pain that usually comes with these events are a part of being able to ‘let go’ from the loss of the security and love that we feel we are losing. And usually because it feels like a total rejection of who and what we are, and a very painful experience that hurts because we feel so unloved…and that is the key…it is a fear that is built on our own self worth. Our own inability for self love. And this is built from childhood and the relationships we have with (usually), our parents and how they were able to express the love that THEY were shown by their parents….and on and on it goes. We are always trying to find what we feel we haven’t got. And we feel we haven’t got that love, and the happiness within that, so we try to find that love in others…but it is in our self love that the answer is hidden.
We have been through a childhood where we have felt either a rejection of love, a hurt or a denial by someone we loved and looked up to. And in that is built our self worth. Are we loveable or not? That self worth takes a battering at this time and we spend the rest of our lives trying to rebuilt that feeling of love and connection with another, to rebuilt that loss we hold forever in our hearts as a consequence of this hurt, and to find that happiness again that has so much meaning within it. But when each time we are with another and they do something that gives us that feeling of rejection again, it re-ignites that fear and we jump straight back behind those emotional walls to keep that pain out.
Holding onto the pain and fear will only hold us in that pattern. We must look within it to find why it makes us feel this way…deeper in your heart to find what you are afraid of, and seek its meaning. In that you disarm it, realise the truth behind your fear…AND LET IT GO.
In total truth the above journeys do have great meaning…those relationships that seem to be a horror at the time ARE done from a place of great love, so that we DO find that self love within. Those instances where the world seems to be crumbling around us DO allow us to eventually come to that place within, and in doing so we heal that hole that always seems to be in our lives, and completes us in such a way that we ‘let go’ and no longer hold onto so many things that in the end, have no meaning or worth and opens us back up to that love and eventually give back out what we have now become.
Because I have been on this journey from a healer’s perspective and actively searched for meaning within my journey, spirit has shown me a great deal of understanding as I step through my fears and see those fears within others. We all must go through them to find that self love within, and gradually we are shown where the love really is…inside us, not ‘out there’. And in that realisation we finally see that all the stress and pain in our lives are all built upon the foundation of our fears that we have held in place since childhood. It is our path…a painful one but with an outcome that will far outshine all that went before.
Some people come to us to teach us a lesson about ourselves. And this is the only way to find our truth, to look deep inside by going through a tremendous upheaval so that we can finally see the truth of what we are within and ‘know’ the love of ourselves. If we didn’t we would always be wandering around pointing the finger at the world for the pain that we are in. If you look around you will see this, but eventually they begin to realise that they are changing, and in that change they find a new heart, a new direction and a peace that goes with that understanding. There is a silver lining to all events, it is made that way even though at times it may not feel like it, and slowly we are guided to find that truth within.
This world has many things for us all…much beauty AND much fear, so that we can become what we all truly seek. It is a balance where we will attract exactly what we need to find that beautiful heart within and finally understand the love that we are.
Where is your heart now?
Look inside, find that self love…your happiness is there…that unconditional love that is who you are…you are so worth it!
Whenever you put up a wall, for whatever reason, it is to protect your heart! And you will carry it around forever, constantly on guard.
Face it, resolve it…and there is no longer any need to carry around a wall that weighs a ton, emotionally and physically. And it free’s your mind so that instead of constantly being on guard, you now begin to see life differently.
Suddenly you see…a flower, a bird…even a friend from a whole new unworried perspective, and a peace that is so….truly peaceful! Life takes on a whole new meaning…and can finally be lived from a heart that is no longer weighed down and stressed with the pain of that fear. You begin to see the landscape all round, no longer only up to the wall.
Give yourself that courage to ask for help, and share your pain so that others can give you the support to bring that wall down. We all have walls, just because mine is orange and yours is blue makes no difference, a wall is a wall, and its affect is the same, it blocks our view. And our hearts.
If there was a law against emotional blackmail against ourselves we’d all be in jail. Oh, wait a minute, we already are in jail…walls within and all round and not a key in sight because we are afraid to look for it.
Well, it’s time to go past those things that hold us at bay from our truth, and sets us free to heal. Forgive ourselves and start again. Love, and be loved for who we truly are within.
Invite in the engineer’s, go through that emotional blockage that holds you to ransom, and set the charges.
This baby is coming down….
Yes, those walls of Jericho were an amazing sight to the enemies of those times. Never to be breached as they were so well built to only allow friendly passage and not those who were against what those within believed and lived. Well, until the spirit of God arrived within the Ark to bring it tumbling down.
A little like those walls we build within, to stop that invader that would dare attack us, try to invade OUR space and force their ways on us. And to test whether those walls are there for the right purpose. Enable those that think like us free access, and refuse entry to those that hurt us and cause pain.
And those invaders are there to do exactly that. They are showing you your fears and walls that we all build to protect ourselves, and they have great purpose.
As you test those walls you realise why they are there, and understand that they were your only way of protecting yourself from what you felt was a very hard, unloving and hurtful experience in your life, so you put up a wall so you no longer get hurt.
And that is usually done as a child when your coping strategies were very immature because you were so young, so a wall goes up because you know no other way to protect yourself, and you then begin to avoid those situations like the plague. But when you begin to realise why you put those walls up and you start to see those coping strategies for what they are and how they are blocking your life, you begin to understand how that blockage is affecting you. And in that understanding that comes from your spirit within, after many, many years, you finally release something that feels like the weight of the world (and to you, it is), has finally been lifted and everything from that moment on changes forever. The change is so huge that you feel a little lost in the beginning because you have never been in this place before. Your life has never had such freedom and an ability to stop and smell the roses….literally.
We don’t realise that this fear has been so integrated to our lives that we are always ‘on guard’ in everything we do…from when we get up of a morning, working, playing or even scratching our nose, it has always been a part of who you were.
Now you are free, and it can almost feel like you are in shock because of that release. But it will be like no shock you have ever felt before. And when reached, you slowly make choices for you for the first time…and not from a place of fear where you are always second guessing yourself so that you don’t have to face that fear. It is a magical place that freedom, as it gives you unfettered access to that beautiful thing inside your heart….you…the true you, that has wanted to escape to a happier place forever. And now you are finally there.
As you release that fear you are no longer giving from a place of fear. We actually project those fears out from us everyday.
As an example, and this is me personally, I always gave to a lady with everything that I was….I would take them out, give them flowers, be courteous by pulling chairs out for them to sit etc. I would smother them in love….but that was the problem, after a while they would hold their hands up and say ‘whoa, that’s lovely but please just slow down a bit’. And I would be all offended, thinking I was being rejected for giving that love. I would point the finger and say ‘it is their fault, how could they possibly not want to be loved’. And because all my relationships ended like this I would always think that they had been hurt by some other man and found it hard to accept that love from some one. Any excuse in fact, bar the one that mattered.
Because I felt rejected from my parents as a child, and felt that total fear of being unloved by the very people that I looked up to and loved, I would bury my loves, with love, so that I WOULDN’T BE REJECTED.
And there lies the rub of my journey. I projected my fear onto all those that I loved. I wanted to be loved so badly, and not be rejected, that I led with my fear.
It is such a subtle thing these fears, and we do the most incredible things to not go through them, not realising that they are there for all to see…AND that they actually attract exactly what we need to go through them. How many fears have you avoided? None, zip, nada!
With great love the universe wants you to understand…you. And within that understanding come back to your truth. Not a wobbly version that is trying to avoid the pain that is carried within your heart for what seems like forever. But the real you within that is a very beautiful and loving person entirely. And as you break free and release that fear, and those negative feelings about yourself that go with it, you finally find that thing that you have always been looking for. That journey of seeking to find that ‘happiness’ somewhere and finally be at peace.
And it can be found…where it has always been, but hidden behind a wall of fear. That fear has great purpose, for it has led you to find this place…and finally understand, and appreciate the beauty that is within each and every one of us BECAUSE of what we have been through.
You are a beautiful soul…something that shines out forever. Believe in that, for at each turn in life a little more is set free and you begin to shine a little brighter each time to stand in your truth and release what you know is no longer you…and be that love that is always there.
Your walls of Jericho will crumble at a shout from you, and a determination within to seek the fear that holds those walls up. They will crumble in an instant when you find that truth that is you…and release you from their bondage forever, to finally be set free.
I have just read a great piece, En garde by candidkay, about our journey through our relationships and the choices we make in trying to come to terms with the decisions we have made in our life. Stay or not stay, go and live in the unknown or stay and put up with…um, something that is not so bad…I think.
These can be one of the most difficult things to admit to…let alone face. And even if we do the dreaded question comes up about our self worth. ‘Can I do this’ and ‘maybe I deserve this’ and our fears running backwards and forwards arguing relentlessly for a reprieve.
But it is part of the magic, to realise ourselves and begin that trek one step at a time to find that beauty that is inside us all. Bring out that confidence that IS in there, but only seems to peek from behind the curtain occasionally.
It is in finding that truth within that finally brings forth a new found confidence, and more than that, a beginning of understanding that in doing so you are starting a love affair with the one person in the world that means the most. You!
When you finally understand that, you begin to build within that confidence and courage because you are worth all that, and more. And as you step into that truth within, you begin to give out that confidence and love that you are beginning to build…AND…begin to attract that same energy because that is how it all works.
Give with an integrity and truth and that is what you attract right back.
The universe, in this, can be seen in its workings by what you are attracting. With great love it gives you exactly what is needed so that you may go past your fears and that unloving that you give yourself, until eventually you begin to see the journey IS all about you, and what you require to find that beauty within.
Once that understanding is reached everything begins to change, you realise self is very important in your journey and slowly you begin a path that will be outside what the world thinks is normal, but inside you will see and feel the change and the truth of what you have been through and what you now wish to become.
And the smiles begin, because you have seen and felt what it took to get here…and your self worth is slowly taking this worlds last curtain call for the last time, and beginning a new call for you.
Reblogged from Chakra Center
Empaths Forgot Their Power
Empaths: Sensitive people whose primary mode of communication is vibrational – highly responsive to energy.
Conflict: Most have used this ability to hide or manipulate rather than feel and thrive. We call this “helping others.”
When I first realized there was a name for what I was, I read as much as I could about what it meant, and was immediately discouraged.
You’re basically the most vulnerable person on the planet. Good luck with that. Don’t forget to “buckle up” with your “shield of protection.”
Great. So I’m sensitive (already been told that my entire life).
But perhaps the most nauseating part of it all was reading the many blog forums and online articles where empaths and Highly Sensitive People (HSP) glorified their terrible boundary issues and blood doll status as if it were a badge of service to the planet.
I can’t say this is true for everyone, or that how I’ve learned to thrive as an empath will work for everyone. All I know is the prescribed classic remedy of “shielding/protecting/coping” didn’t work for me. At all. And in fact, it made things worse.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
I’m no more special than anyone else because I’m sensitive. Nor am I more vulnerable or weak. People develop acute empathic abilities for all sorts of reasons: some are born that way, others learn to read people’s emotions as a means of survival due to abuse. Whatever the reason, being an empath is no more special than being good at playing instruments or sports. It’s just part of the human diversity.
I’m not trying to take away the importance or power of this gift, but I also don’t want to elevate it as a super human ability, and here’s why:
Many empaths have a deep, core sense of unworthiness, and while it is important that we learn to see our value, it is equally important not to believe that being ultra-sensitive makes us more special than others. This only breeds further isolation and elitism, which is counter intuitive, really, because the mere fact that we are extra sensitive to other people’s energy is a reminder that at a fundamental level, we are all one – we’re all connected. Deep healing, then, comes from harmonizing with that energy around us, not creating separation from it.
Second, when empaths set themselves apart from the rest of humanity as the “sensitive” ones of the planet, we typically end-up glorifying co-dependent relationships and unhealthy boundaries because we falsely believe that everyone’s happiness depends on us and we develop a sort of “helper” complex.
Or we take the shielding/protection advice and hide ourselves from the world, believing the only means of survival is to go into the psychic’s version of the “witness protection program.” We disengage from relationships and “normal” life and call it “coping with our sensitivities.”
These are two of the most common pitfalls many unskilled and unhealed empaths stumble into (and I was no exception). The problem is, helping or hiding from the world is not thriving.
Those who take the “helper/light worker” title often end-up further blurring the lines with unhealthy relationships, creating a sort of dependency on other’s needing them and identifying their ability to disempower others (by creating emotional dependency) as their empathic “gift.”
Allowing others to suck your energy dry is NOT what it means to be empathic.
You can’t make your life better (and you certainly can’t get empowered) by trying to make others happy. Making others’ happiness your primarily focus doesn’t make you a hero, it makes you a blood doll.
What to Avoid:
Don’t become an energetic food source for others. Not only is it unhealthy and unsustainable for you, it is the equivalent of energetic suicide. If you make others believe you’re the only one who can make them happy, heal them, or save them, you do them a diabolical disservice: you disempower them.
Hence the drama with empaths and narcissists since the beginning of time.
It is not your job to change the world (or others) and you couldn’t even if you tried.
The only person you can ever truly change is yourself. Self-mastery is the greatest gift you can give to others, because when you do it, the world sees it can be done. You become an inspiration. You make empowerment attainable.
The only reason you would choose to come into this world with highly sensitive vibrational abilities is to learn how to USE them, how to navigate with them, in order to facilitate your own self-evolution. When you evolve, you “upload” (in a manner of speaking) the codes for self-evolution/mastery into the human consciousness grid. When others see it can be done, they have more belief that they too, can have self-mastery. Running around trying to fix the world will only give you more people to fix (and will drain you of your power in the process).
The world doesn’t need to be fixed. This reality works exactly as it was created to. It gives us what we put out. It perfectly reflects “us” back to us. This is why it is so useful for our self-evolution. And this is why self-mastery is so crucial. The only way we will ever truly have enough power in the world to make a difference is through mastering our own lives, first.
This is not to say that loving others is not important. No doubt the planet could use more love. But altruism isn’t the same as dependency. In order for people to learn, they have to be free to walk their path. God loves us enough to give us that freedom, and it’s crucial we give it to others. When we do help, it should be because it feels good to do so, not because we need to be needed or because we feel obligated to do so. Even when Jesus healed he said “Your faith healed you.” The emphasis was always empowerment.
“Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.”
We simply got lost. We forgot our true purpose is inner mastery.
Most of us focus our attention on the external world, feel too much, shut down, and that’s the end of it.
We tune-out how WE feel and make other people’s emotions our primary focus because we think that will make us feel better. Feeling other’s emotions and trying to ‘fix’ them seems much easier, because it’s less threatening. Our own emotions, quite frankly, scare the shit out of us.
Why? Because we’ve been told our entire lives that to feel too much is to be weak. And most of us have untold amounts of heartache, pain, and even abuse we’ve never looked at. Our sensitivities make us feel too vulnerable.
The problem is, focusing on others doesn’t actually make us feel better. Sure, it distracts us, but it doesn’t set us free. It doesn’t empower us, and it certainly doesn’t empower anyone else.
At best it gives us a temporary sense of worthiness by being “needed” or loved for what we can do for them – at worst it fuels co-dependent relationships that bleed us of our power. We’re left with nothing but emptiness. And that emptiness is too unbearable to feel, so we bury it, along with every other emotion that would indicate we are OFF COURSE, and go back to allowing others to feed on us. Being an energetic food source gives us a feeling of worth and purpose – for a moment, anyway – an empath’s equivalent to a drug fix.
After the effects of the ‘fix’ wears off, we feel weak and lonely. We may have a lot of “close friends” but we feel like they don’t know us at all – not our true selves anyway, because how could they? We’ve buried our true selves along with all of our emotions. We fixate on the external world and expend our energy to its never-ending need, giving what little power we have to a cycle that can NEVER give back to us. It’s unsustainable, and it’s energetically barbaric.
So what’s the solution?
Here’s what I’ve learned:
FEEL. FEEL. And FEEL!
The biggest mistake empaths make is to shut off their emotions.
But the ability to feel deeply IS our power. It is the power of humanity as a whole. When you allow yourself to feel the emotional space WITHIN and communicate back to the world with your strong, finely tuned, highly sensitive capabilities, you create a sort of empathic dialogue with the energy around you and begin to learn what it means to create your own reality (or really, just line-up with a reality that is best suited for your growth and evolution). When you create a harmonic internal realm, the external begins to harmonize around you. That is how you bring more peace and love to the world. This is true compassion. It starts within.
This is a vibrational Universe, after all, and emotions are the strongest vibrational indicators we’ve got at our disposal. When you look at it his way, emotions, and the ability to feel deeply, becomes our super power.
Don’t believe feeling deeply makes you weak. Vibrational sensitivity gives you the power to move anywhere on the grid you wish. It’s not a matter of brute strength and it certainly has nothing to do with “logic” – it is vibrational intelligence.
This is as simple as asking yourself (in any given moment) what feels good and what doesn’t. Then moving in the direction that feels most empowering. But you will never know what that is unless you TUNE-IN!
So how do you tune-in?
Go within. Allow yourself to FEEL where you are, without judgement or identification. Emotions are not YOU — they are simply your indicators. They help you know where you’re at so you can get to where you want to be.
Give yourself the sustaining, nurturing power of your own presence. Love yourself enough to be free from the emptiness of co-dependency.
Don’t allow the world to make you feel your emotional capacity is a weakness. Don’t believe the lie that being empathic is an acute form of vulnerability. And NEVER shut your heart down.
Emotions are your greatest tool.
Giving love to another will touch that person within, and change them.
Who will then touch another, and change them also.
And as this change goes on and on, eventually this change will come full circle and be expressed as love back to you…but changed in its journey by the love expressed differently by each individual.
Each individual helping another in their journey, loving in their own unique way.
Graduating in its wisdom by the many emotional ways of pain, anger, fear, gratitude, faith and love that is experienced in all walks of life.
To eventually reach that beauty of unconditional love, that place within when all is finally completed.
No more karma, experiences or lessons needed….perfection within itself.
For each and every heartfelt motion given from within, is for you, even though it is given to another. And in its perfection, when giving love to another, it raises you even closer to that love within, opens your heart from the fears and blockages of life, and with a glow unmatched by anything else in this world, brings out much that is hidden….your truth within. Those things that you only ever say to one that you love and respect, to let them feel that truth within that is the true you, so that they may feel the beauty that is inside, and know that it is with great love that you are sharing something so deep within.
It is a connection that we all yearn for, a connection that only occurs a few times in our lives but drives us ever onward to find that thing within that always seems to elude us. But it is only when we can remove those walls of life around our hearts that we can finally see the truth that has been within us all the time. It is a needed journey, so that we can appreciate what is really there, a journey to understand what that love really means, and bring us to that final acceptance of self.
When understood, this is the perfection of love, all else is but a guide.
Where is your love for self?
This came to me after reading a quote from the lovely lady from Soul Gatherings. Thank you Theresa!
To a beautiful lady with the heart of a healer.
I was blessed with the sharing of Ali’s life and being shown a truth that was her journey.
In memory of one of God’s healers, and nature’s gladiators.
Spirit in the Sky
She invited me to see, to share that love within
Showed me her beauty, the further I walked in
The caring of all creatures, whether human or of fur
She would not go past, test the meaning that was her
Seen the laughter and the fun, each invitation that was made
Making sure our comfort, blessing us with her shade
And even in that care, an occasional tear would spill
To show the world that empathy, a climb to take that hill
And along that sacred journey, to find what it meant
A glow began to form, a love heaven sent
As slowly she did find, a heart that could heal
Giving to another, a love that they feel
And the light she did shine, given with a care
Always with a smile, an understanding she did share
For all along this path, as her truth did fly
Ali had now found, that spirit in the sky
Always near as her love is a part of who we are.
Such a beautiful world. So balanced in all its ways. Yes, even the mistakes have purpose, for now we swear upon our hearts that we will never do it again, like so many other things in our lives. But we do….why?
It seems we have this insatiable need to have control of our lives, be in a place where we can handle most of what is thrown at us. And that ‘security’ is the basis of how we can face the world, even though we still find that many things throw us off balance. And we react to those things because they are the core issues of what we are afraid of, even if we don’t see them clearly all the time.
We spend so much time hiding in fear from the bully up the street, building and building this 30 foot monster until the very thought of going out the front door is abhorrent. But the bully is still the kid up the street that only knows that control of his life by what he thinks is ‘his’ safety. And probably totally forgotten about you unless you happen to be his current weaker opponent to make him feel better about himself.
And as our lives go on we build these safety places, places where we feel in control….falling in love, marriage, a home and even some ‘munchkins’ to build that inner peace (ok, the kids may be pushing that a bit 🙂 ).
But in amongst this we get tested. A button pushed here and there, just so we can feel the other side, see where we are not feeling that safety we are trying to build. In general we go through it and feel relieved that we have passed through this and can move on.
But sometimes we really get something prodded so that we are losing that safety zone. Something won’t let go and reaches a point where we have no choice but to face it and go through, what we feel, is one of the most stressful times of our lives. A life issue…divorce, break ups, a death and even a job loss can take us down this path…because they all point to that one thing inside us all that we all avoid as much as possible…that negativity, our sense of worth in whatever form it takes, about ourselves that has been hammered home all our lives by, originally, those we love, but kept alive by those we attract to us.
Attract I say…yes…how many people have you pointed at and said, “she/he is doing it again”, “they never learn”, “I can’t believe this”, about someone else who is going through, for the tenth time, something that you can see is not right and know the outcome because you have been there. But that is the whole point, it is now no longer your fear, it doesn’t have that fearful hold on you any longer because you have gone through it (or never did because you had no fear of it).
But again, that is the entire point. Each and every time you understand that ‘knowing’ inside because you have felt that pain, that terror of going through something that has tested you beyond what you think you could handle, has raised your awareness, given you the wisdom to see and understand that what was underneath was something that you alone had built to protect yourself, but in truth blocked you from seeing the truth inside. The understanding after you go through this is huge.
And it has been given to you in this way for one reason only…to show you the beauty that is you. Underneath all the uproar and that feeling of, “I can’t do this”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m going to lose it”, you show the strength that is really inside and you DO go through it, and finally see the truth of what you are inside…and you begin to stand in that awareness. You reach a point of, “I’m not doing this any more”, “I’m worth more than this”, “I deserve more than this”, and you slowly begin to break free.
Yes, it does take time, but that time is needed so that this very situation retests you, and each time you reinforce those words of worth and deserving a little more. Always more tears and even anger. But this anger is because your heart is asking you step past what you thought WAS your safety zone. That place that kept you in control of where you were at. But it was removed and the change was a serious asking of yourself to step out of that safety and move into a scary and strange world, one where you have never been before. And you will even find that you hold on desperately to this situation as it crumbles around you, out of the fear of losing that safety. Especially if it is a love for another.
Those people we give our hearts to are the one safety anchor in our lives that we think we can rely on forever. But it is also the one place that tears our hearts out. And it must or we will never step through those fears in our lives. We will use our love as a shield, to not see something within ourselves we don’t wish to, or even distract us so that we think everything is ok. But it is the power of that love that will take us on that journey within. It eventually makes us see that place we have avoided and suddenly our safe place is gone.
It is a tough journey, but it must be or we would never face what is buried inside. And after all is said and done, we do begin to love ourselves because of it. We are more deserving, we are worth so much more, and this event will bring this realisation and bring us closer to that heart within. Even the anger of being hurt and what we feel by being treated so poorly by those we loved will slowly subside as we realise that we are in a better place, much wiser, much more loving, because we have loved ourselves more and no longer need our love as a shield to protect us.
Our love for self is enough, we no longer need to rely on another’s love to be safe. And that understanding then allows us to give from that place of self love…and attract the same. We no longer ‘need’ to be in a relationship. We begin to understand that by loving ourselves we naturally give that love out. If we are angry, fearful or unhappy…that is what we give out and attract to us. When we love ourselves truly, go past our fears, we then give from an unconditional place, and attract that unconditional love….and no longer attract a situation where it asks us to go through something within.
And as that awareness grows, the more shadows in your life you go through and the more light you let in, the more that unconditional love shines out!
May your heart find that awareness.
I was just minding my own business, I think
Not concentrating on anything in particular
One of those idle moments when you’re just absorbed in yourself
Off guard, defence’s down, not expecting…anything
And I think that is the secret to this time
The shock of so many things coming together
All in a heartbeat, the twinkle of an eye
The possibility, synchronicities…even the sheer magnitude
Of something coming together in the universe of this scope
But there she stood, not spoken or even moved
Just the sheer energy that she gave out left me speechless
Mind you, that is a miracle in itself
And then, as if she knew what was in my DNA, she smiled
I was lost until then, but now really entered somewhere untouched
Thoughts that hadn’t been engaged for…what seemed like ever
Scrambled to make sense of what that smile did within
And then I couldn’t help myself, I smiled back
It felt strange…those particular muscles also haven’t been used forever
But I didn’t care, I felt nothing but the sparkle in her eye
And then she was gone, leaving me gasping for air
Mind altered, perceptions in affray, dopamine charged to high
I was lost again, but this was so much deeper, I almost cried out
But she then returned, and this time she opened her heart and spoke
“Hi!” and smiled THAT smile again
I said, “Hello!” and her smile got brighter
And I knew right then, she was the one, without her I would die.
I saw some magic in another’s eye, brought back memories.
Thankfully much wisdom has been gained for a more true love by being loving to myself, and then give from there.
And they are all First Love’s as we are always in a more wiser and loving place each time we step past those fears and open our hearts again.
Am I ready? 🙂
This is for scottishmomus, the lass from that very cold region of the U.K., and for that matter, any who are looking forward to a little sunshine in their lives after a very cold winter.
It’s just a couple of pic’s as I went for a walk to re-adjust my brain and eyes from too many hours on the computer.
And strangely, no dolphins. Usually the place is crawling with them. If I get some later I’ll add them on.
I hope it warms your hearts at least, ready for the beauty of what spring is about to share with you all (up north anyway) 🙂 Namaste
Click HERE to go to my gallery, or on the link above.
Ok, I’m now going to explain to you something that we all tend to unintentionally avoid. A little thing you can do to change that ‘who you are within’, and create a space that in most peoples lives has been missing due to the rush, rush of life. Or as most people come to realise, the person that they are with, or even themselves, have been raised in a way or been through something that takes this part of their lives away and is replaced with a wall to stop the fear or pain of being hurt or rejected. Or even do not understand its meaning due to never being shown how to express themselves in this way.
Now I’m going to ask you to do something very simple (and to those that know how to…ask yourself, ‘do you really’). I want you to steal 30 minutes from your hectic life, grab your partner and go lay down together (and I mean together, not you on the lounge and your partner on the floor, I want contact here) somewhere comfortable. Bed, lounge, hammock or just out on the grass somewhere (which is so much more grounding and will connect you much closer). And fully clothed thank you!!!
Now I want you to do the unthinkable…I want you to just hold and cuddle each other for 10 minutes and DO NOT talk (especially about any problems, the days uproar, the kids or the stock market). Talking does need to be done BEFORE you get to this position as it will remove any stress, tension or worry that is bothering you. Then you can lay down and not have this need to connect verbally, which is a bonding in itself, but I need your undivided attention on you and your partner and not a mind scrambling trying to sort out a problem.
At the 10 minute mark there should be this thing called ‘relaxation’. But more than that, you have now (and especially if you haven’t done this for a long time), just re-inserted yourselves into each others most intimate zone. (Yes, I probably could have worded that a little better). That connection is something that life tends to keep you ‘on guard’ for, and only a select few are allowed in that place. But life and it’s ‘zoom, zoom’ gradually distracts us and we seem to get further and further from that place that if you really think about it, is so much more inviting than the stress of everyday life. It’s a balance so that life isn’t all work and no play.
Now here is the hard bit. I want you both to touch each other. And NO, I don’t mean sexually! As a matter of fact I want you to be emotionally intimate, not physically. Just very gently, as the urge takes you, I want you to just lightly brush or touch your partners back or neck or hair or whatever you feel is that connection that shows your partner that you are enjoying the energy that is going on between you. Now here is the even harder bit. It can be a very fine line between gently touching someone to express how you are feeling…and not become aroused by the sensation that is developing between you. As a matter of fact it is a very fine line and normally it would be a way of really connecting from there to a very physical encounter which is also fine. But I want you to be strong and resist that temptation.
Over that 30 minute period you may start or stop that touching and go through different feelings and sensations as you hold one another. But at the end you will realise you have gone somewhere very different to what you are used to. Many of us start off this way but eventually reach that point of wanting to do the ‘tango’ and share something on a physical level. And that is fine. But this level of emotional intimacy is something that many of us can find to be quite difficult, due to our upbringing, life as we have experienced it or even many of those fears that won’t allow us to ‘open’ and share at this level. And especially the men. And that is not meant as an insult guys, we are generally brought up to be hard and ‘get on with life and don’t sweat the small stuff’, so that this level of intimacy is very foreign. Whereas the ladies are brought up much more emotionally connected and can express it a little easier.
And that is why we are physically intimate because we don’t know how to, or don’t want to become emotionally intimate. And I do think the ladies miss this type of connection guys. When they want to be cuddled, it is for this intimacy, not the grope, grope, c’mon let’s go into the bedroom. Trust me, if you build this type of trust it will change that connection for you both. You might be pleasantly surprised 🙂
Be gentle with whoever your partner may be as we all have ‘bits’ tucked away inside us and they can be a difficult thing to broach. Take it slowly and at the end you will realise that you have connected on a much stronger level with someone because you have established a very real trust because you have allowed someone into that personal zone and allowed them to see and feel the heart within. For many it isn’t easy because the one thing that this connection does is bring their hearts up to the surface, and in doing so may bring with it the many emotions that are kept close to their hearts on a day to day basis. It can sometimes bring tears…and fears, because with great love you have shown that trust. It is not something given lightly so be gentle with the emotions that are being shared. It can be hard to do, but remember, this is all about breaking down those walls and helping each other to share something that has great meaning to you both.
And even for those that are single, we all need to share our emotional intimacy with those that are special to us, whether they be friends, family or sometimes even strangers. To share our innermost feeling with someone is a healing within itself. It brings a closeness that our hearts need to share occasionally so that the power of those words can help us clear and know that another is connecting with us. And I have seen such beautiful heart connections with so many people and their pets. Now that is unconditional love. I defy one of us to express ourselves so fully with a sloppy grin and a tail that wags forever 🙂
The heart has great power, but it also is built from the most beautiful, gentle things in our life. From giving a flower with love, to the smile of another. All of it has great meaning and touches us all in such profound ways. We must return to that place within to keep our balance, emotionally and physically or we allow the things of this world to keep us away from what has true meaning in this life.
Enjoy that connection, that touch of life that brings a smile within, and you will see you and your partner (furry or otherwise), connecting on a whole new level. Namaste
And then one day I saw it…and realised all our journeys have great purpose. I turned a corner and died to the things of man, but realised that those things are made of great beauty. The pain, the emotional turmoil that we endure, all take us to that one place we constantly search for in our hearts….unconditional love.
But it can only be found by being born into this world with all that it is, and finally see ourselves, our fear’s, our journey and the love that we understand as each mountain top is reached. We will always attract what is required for that understanding, and then one day we are there…and everything can be seen for the truth that it is…and our hearts open, totally, fully, and we then give from such a beautiful place.
I no longer see what is on the surface of things, because I now see below. I no longer judge another, as I now see purpose. And because of that understanding, I now stand in my truth and give from that place within…unconditionally…for I am no longer chained by the fears of this world!
We begin this journey totally open, innocent and ready for such an imprint from our surroundings. This time is a barrage of emotions and learning, the good and the bad, to create a journey that will test us so that we may find that balance that is in all things.
We see a life of struggle and pain over many years, and even those things that many think small, like a silly argument, build and create so that you may reach great understanding. Slowly and over a great time we poke and prod to see a way out of those things that keep us bound. And finally after much heartache and agony, a crack appears. But it’s like no other crack…each time you look through it all you can see is the fear you avoid, that one thing that you ignore, hide and never speak it out loud, lest it come to life. But the pain from your journey allows no other path, and in trepidation you finally can no longer stay in your circumstances any longer and take that dreaded step that you think will be the end of your sanity.
And at that moment your practically in shock. You’ve done the one thing that you thought you would never do. You burst into tears, scream and even fall into a heap. Your mind is going at a hundred miles an hour. But you’ve done it! You’ve gone through the one thing that you thought would never happen. And you realise…you didn’t die, you haven’t totally lost it (even though it feels very crazy still), and you suddenly understand…you’ve never been in this position before. You have always had that ‘fear’ leading you around in everything that you do. This is virgin territory, never before circumstances where now YOU are in control and not the fear.
And it does take time to get used to. That fear has been there most of your life, it was a part of who you were. Now you are free…released from its servitude and are able to take the reigns and steer whatever path you wish. That in itself can be a little disconcerting to start with, but don’t put expectations on yourself. Give yourself time to adjust to this new place within. And above all be gentle on yourself. That is a very long time to be in a jail from a fear you’ve held within.
Looking back we see those things we’ve been through, but they no longer hold us at bay. No longer constantly in our minds because we’ve stepped through the fear that they created and released us from it’s bondage. Wiser and with more love for ourselves because we now understand that we are worth so much more than those fears and have become more confident in ourselves because of that. This is our healing of that duality that separates us from within at birth, the spirit and the ego, and the journey to find that balance of the two. And we gradually understand ourselves each time we go through those upheavals in our lives, we’ve been through many years of the one side of that balance, it is now time to feel and understand the other and no longer be driven by the fears of the ego. And when we see others go through what we have now experienced, our compassion will arise because we know and understand their journey. We understand that pain and suffering and with great love will help another to find their heart within and see what you now see.
Each time we respect and love ourselves more and more as we go through these things. We realise those many things that initially gave us a feeling of not being good enough or belittled were not true. We ARE good enough, and more than that, we are loving ourselves because we now realise it has taken great courage and love to face this journey and accept just who we are within. Exactly for who we are, warts and all. What is on the outside, in truth, has no meaning at all. For what has been created in the heart…is everything. And everyone is going through their journey, in their own way, to realise that truth within, just as you did. Judgement of another is only built on our own fears. Once released they no longer drive us.
That freedom is the compassion we now use, and is the beginning of that unconditional love we all seek. It is in us all but blocked by our constant struggle by those fears that drive us. When released it allows that compassion to shine through, and as each of those fears are removed there is less and less holding you to this world…and more and more love being expressed by that freedom. And the spirit within starts to shine through, and you truly begin to see much purpose in this journey.
Then you too will understand, and be what you truly are within, that unconditional love that is inside us all!
I sing a song, a song of life,
a rhythm from deep within
Ancient for its energy,
a tale of where we’ve been
Even to this very day,
our journey has never changed
We seek to find our purpose,
to find what was arranged
And as the road of life,
that bouncing bumpy path
Looks to find our inner heart,
amongst the aftermath
But the wisdom of our truth,
those pearls of yesteryear
Are bound to our destiny,
all of which we share
So hold your strength,
and face this world of stress
For even amongst its scary ways,
is a magic we are blessed
And when we feel the time has come,
to bid this land goodbye
We transform into another,
to begin again on high.
Reblogged from soulvisionhealing
Just an interesting list to ‘see’ what traits you may have. We all have the ability, and it can be more pronounced depending where you are at in your life!
Traits of an Empath
Empaths as a rule are often highly misunderstood people who have the amazing yet intense ability to be able to sense emotions from; family, friends, animals and even complete strangers both in-person and from a distance. Empaths can also sense energy from possessions (such as photographs or someone’s ring) nature and also the earth’s magnetic fields. This is how more often than not and not unlike an animal can sense something coming, so to can the empath on many different levels.
Just so you are aware being an Empath is not the same as having empathy. We are all born with empathy and have the ability to empathize with another; Empaths have not only the ability to empathize with another, but also to understand another person’s entire emotional process which can bring clarity and wisdom to those who are drawn to them for help or healing in some way or another.
There are many as explained in a previous blog that believe the gift of being an Empath is a double edged sword, on one hand we could see it as such a gift to be able to help so many, but there are many without the tools and knowledge that also see it as a curse or even a mental illness.
Below you will find some of the traits of an Empath, each empath is individual but all empaths feel, so if you are an empath reading this blog it is more than likely that you will have a few aha moments when reading these or relate on some level within your own journey.
Traits of an Empath
The number one trait of an Empath in my book is their ability to sense emotions or feel the emotions of others. Whether they are close within a family circle or perfect strangers. It doesn’t matter if the empath is in the same room with the person or on the other side of the world they still have the ability to tune into said person’s energy much like one half of a twin.
It’s very important for an Empath to fully understand each of the human emotions since it’s sometimes necessary to distinguish between the emotions of themselves or another. Knowing where the emotion stems from helps us to control our feelings in a larger capacity, not over-react to them, and then set them free from our minds as quickly as possible.
Some of the many emotions each of us can portray at one time or another are – Affection, Anger, Angst, Anguish, Annoyance, Anxiety, Apathy, Arousal, Awe, Boredom, Confidence, Contempt, Contentment, Courage, Curiosity, Depression, Desire, Despair, Disappointment, Disgust, Distrust, Dread, Ecstasy, Embarrassment, Envy, Euphoria, Excitement, Fear, Frustration, Gratitude, Grief, Guilt, Happiness, Hatred, Hope, Horror, Hostility, Hurt, Hysteria, Indifference, Interest, Jealousy, Joy, Loathing, Loneliness, Love, Lust, Outrage, Panic, Passion, Pity, Pleasure, Pride, Rage, Regret, Relief, Remorse, Sadness, Satisfaction, Self-confidence, Shame Shock, Shyness Sorrow, Suffering, Surprise, Terror, Trust, Wonder, Worry, Zeal, and Zest.
For an empath the awareness of their own emotions and others, as well as the release of that which is not there’s is extremely pertinent to leading a happy, balanced and healthy lifestyle.
- Just knowing: Empaths just know stuff, without being told and seemingly out of nowhere. It’s a depth of knowing that goes way beyond a gut feeling, even though it could easily be described that way. The more finely attuned they are the stronger this gift becomes.
- You can tell when you are being told a lie almost immediately: If a family member or a close friend is telling you lies you just know it (although a lot of empaths try not to focus too much on this because knowing a loved one is lying can be a painful thing to learn). Or maybe you are in the situation of someone saying one thing but thinking/feeling something completely different, you just know.
- Being in public places can be overwhelming: Places like supermarkets, stadiums, concerts, malls, fairgrounds, the movies, any where there are loads of people around, can fill the empath with an overwhelming sense of emotions coming at them from all directions and without room to breathe to even focus on trying to work out one emotion from another.
Watching violence, cruelty or tragic events on the TV is almost unbearable: The more attuned and knowledgeable of their gift an empath becomes the worse it is under these circumstances and may make it so they eventually have to stop watching the news, news updates and or reading newspapers, current events, violent films altogether.
Constant fatigue or lacking in energy: Empaths often get extremely drained of energy, either from energy vampires or just taking on too much from others within a day/week etc, which even sleep will not help or cure. Many get diagnosed with a form of chronic fatigue syndrome.
Taking on physical symptoms of another: An empath will almost always develop the ailments off another person (colds, infections, headaches, muscle strain, body aches and pains to name just a few) especially those they’re closest to, it’s sort of like going out in sympathy for another.
Creative expression: From singing (all types of genres), dancing, acting, creating all types of artwork from scrapbooking to painting or writing an empath will have a very strong creative streak and a sometimes wildly vivid imagination.
Always looking out for others: Anyone whose suffering, in need of a lift, in emotional pain or being bullied in any form draws an empath’s attention and compassion almost immediately, they simply can’t help themselves when they see or feel someone in need.
The ever present counsellor to the masses: An empath can become somewhat of a dumping ground for everyone else’s problems friends, family and even strangers dramas and issues which, if they’re not careful can end up as their own. Self care is VERY important in this trait.
A cluttered environment: This is something every empath struggles with at some point or another, whether it be in their own home/workplace or others, it makes an empath feel completely weighed down and blocks the flow of energy, leaving the empath feeling heavy and lacking motivation.
Addictive personality: Shopping, alcohol, food, drugs, sex, are to name but a few addictions that empaths turn to, to block out the emotions of others, or to what i call band aiding the real issues, burying them deep inside with a big old bandaid over the top to try and forget about them. It is a form of self protection in order to hide from someone or something.
Drawn to healing in all it’s forms, holistic therapies and all things metaphysical/spiritual: Although many empaths have the natural healing ability within them already and would love nothing more than to heal others they can end up turning away from being healers, after they’ve studied and qualified or been certified in some way, because when they start using their new found healing or channeling abilities they take on far too much from the one/one’s they are trying to heal or channel healing too. Especially if they are unaware of their empathy. Anything of a supernatural nature is of great interest to empaths and they don’t get shocked or surprised very easily.
Digestive disorders and lower back problems: The solar plexus chakra is based in the centre of the abdomen and it’s known as the powerhouse of all our emotions. This is where empaths feel the incoming emotion of another, whether that be human or spirit, which can weaken the area if not looked after, protected and can eventually lead to anything from stomach ulcers to IBS and the list goes on and on. Lower back problems (amongst other things) are a big one for an empath, especially the empath that is unaware of the strong need for balance. This back pain is due to being ungrounded which empaths often are.
Love of anything related to nature or animals: Being outdoors in the fresh air and within nature is a must for empaths and providing themselves balance. Due to the energy of others empaths tend to lock themselves away to protect themselves, nature is an important part of creating balance for the empath and pets are an essential part of their life. Pets show such unconditional love and for an empath that is so important to have, animals are very giving and that’s a nice balance again for the empath that likes to continually give.
The need for solitude: An empath will get aggravated if they don’t get their quiet time. This is even obvious in empathic children. Empaths need that space to recoup from others energies, to bring balance to themselves and to just be in their OWN energy for a change.
Finds routine, rules or control claustrophobic and will fight against it: Anything that takes away an empath’s sense of freedom is extremely debilitating and can even have a poisoning effect to the moods of the imprisoned empath.
Finds it hard to continue or do things that don’t amuse them or fulfill enjoyment: It almost feels like they are living a lie by continuing something they don’t enjoy. To force an empath to do something they dislike through guilt or calling them lazy will only serve in making them unhappy. It doesn’t feel right to an empath to do something that doesn’t contain some passion or enjoyment for them.
Is constantly searching for the truth: This becomes more prevalent when an empath discovers his/her gifts and has a strong identification with their empathic self. Anything untruthful feels just plain wrong to them.
Always looking for the answers and the knowledge to back it: To have unanswered questions can be extremely frustrating for an empath and they will endeavour to find an explanation as quickly as possible. If they have a knowing or even a small amount of knowledge about something they will look for confirmation. The downside to this is an information overload and the possibility of endless hours of research if to do nothing else but obtain peace of mind that they have found the information.
Likes the thought of travel, adventure and the freedom of large spaces: Empaths are definitely free spirits.
Gets easily distracted or bored quickly if not stimulated: School, work and home life has to be kept interesting for an empath (a good place to help empathic children get creative to spur their imagination and keep things alive and stimulating for them) or they just switch off from it and end up steering off into space or doodling to keep themselves occupied.
Lover of daydreaming: An empath can stare into space for hours over the smallest thought or picture they have created in their minds, in a world of their own and blissfully happy.
Can sense the energy of the food they eat: Many empaths don’t like to eat meat red or white and some even fish products because they can feel the vibrations or the energy of the animal (especially if the animal suffered in their lives or even in death), even if they like or love the taste. To feel the energy of the animal suffering, can make the finely attuned empath ill after eating.
Has an intolerance to narcissism of any kind: Although kind, caring and compassionate and often more than tolerant of others, empaths do not like to be around overly egotistical people for very long, especially those who put themselves first and refuse to consider anyone else’s feelings or points of view other than their own. The more attuned empath will distance themselves further and further from a narcissist as they begin to realise they cannot help those who won’t help themselves.
Note to the empath – How can you tell when you are in the presence of a Narcissistic person who is an energy vampire:
All that you say and do is never good enough
Everything you say is spun around and turned against you
That gut feeling or natural instinct you have is sending up red flags or alarm bells non-stop
Nothing you do will ever please these people
You’re constantly made to feel beneath them or made to feel in-superior around them
You never feel heard, listened too or even validated
You speak your truth in love, they show sympathy and then moments later attack you for it
Every time you gently criticize their actions, your words are used against you to make you feel bad
Nothing you say or do to please them will make them like you or love you anymore or as equally as you love them.
They will use past situations and your insecurities against you whenever they feel like it and sometimes for no reason at all
You may feel trapped into an argument that has no resolution and that you didn’t cause nor want to be involved in from the start
It’s always your fault or the blame is always on you no matter what
You will be criticized and made to feel bad for sharing how well you might be doing in your life. That is seen as a slap in the face towards them and how they are doing.
When you finally do stand up for yourself they are sorry, then five minutes later or the next day attack again.
They constantly wear a mask and put on their best face to others, all the while you know exactly what’s coming next, what’s brewing inside and how that may affect you.
All of the above points (plus many more) you could possibly suffer from while being around these types of people, it generally will never change. They will sense your caring, giving heart coming a mile away, and will undoubtedly abuse you and use you much like a neverending drug. These types of people are known to say things like; “I can’t do without my (your name) fix”, or “I can’t do this without you” which is more often than not a tell sign that if you leave them or choose not to help them, that they will do everything in their power to; keep you hooked within their reach, making you feel small, unwanted, not very good for much else other than helping them and then ashamed for leaving them.
This is where you need to set loving boundaries and if that is not an option or does not work,
detach with love and RUN!
- The ability to literally feel what day of the week it is: An empath will get that “Thank goodness it’s Friday Feeling’ whether they work Fridays or not. An empath picks up on how the collective are feeling in the moment. A long weekend to an empath feels like bliss around the world, like the world is quite literally smiling, calm, happy and relaxed. Sunday evenings, Mondays and Tuesdays however tell a different story, with a heaviness and dread behind them.
Excellent listeners, people often vent to empaths: An empath generally struggles to talk about themselves much, unless it’s to someone they really love and trust. They love to put their energy into learning about others and holding compassion and care around other’s journeys in the most sincere and authentic way.
Can often appear moody, shy or disconnected to others: Depending on how an empath is feeling inside will depend on what mask they wear or what they will show of themselves to the world. They can be prone to mood swings that can often spiral out of control, much like four seasons in one day and if they’ve taken on too much negative energy they can appear very quiet, withdrawn, unsociable and even miserable within themselves. An empath detests having to pretend to be happy when inside they are sad, this only adds to their energy load. That ever loved catch phrase used especially in retail of the customers are always right and service with a smile can make life really hard for the empath when all they want to do is challenge the customer that is wrong and not smile when they don’t feel it.
Will not choose to buy second hand anything or antiques: Anything that’s been pre-owned carries the energy of the previous owner, so you won’t find many empaths garage saleing especially if they are finely attuned. An empath will even prefer to have a brand new car or house if it’s financially possible, with no residual energy of previous tenants or occupants. Unless they have the tools of clearing the house, things that they live in, use or wear.
Prone to carrying excess weight without necessarily overeating: The excess weight gain is more often than not a form of protection to stop the negative incoming energies having as much impact. If an empath is in a toxic environment or around toxic people, more often than not the area around their solar plexus chakra will expand. the moment the energy changes in the environment to a light one and happiness is in abundance, the weight seems to disappear.
Greatly affected by the Psychic Vampire: Whatever the type of person, the pay attention to me, poor me, sitting on the pity pot, the talker, the friend greedy for your time or the biggy the drama queen. Empath’s tend to struggle in this area because they are so used to helping and giving, It’s important for the empath to create strong, firm but loving boundaries around their friends, family and even strangers.
Rough sports or violent activities can deeply affect an empath: For many female Empaths, the idea of watching violent sports such as boxing, rugby, football etc puts them off just as much as; newspapers, tv and horror/thriller movies. Just like some men, they don’t see the need for violence in any form as a whole, and often feel compelled to speak up against it.
Feel compelled to tell it like you see it: Empaths aren’t a fan of negativity, feeling hurtful or nasty emotions from people, so more often than not struggle to lie at any cost, since lying in itself takes a very negative thought process to begin with. That being said, Empaths can sometimes get into trouble for speaking the truth all the time. How many of you have gotten into trouble for speaking your mind and then standing behind your truth? (unfortunately not everyone can handle the truth, in whatever form it comes to them). Empaths tell the truth because it feels good to be honest, rather than to just pretend it doesn’t exist.
If you can relate or have said yes to most of or all of the above then you are most definitely an empath.
Think about this for a moment. All those times when we were small and we had fallen over and busted our knee, cut ourselves doing something or bruising our ego’s in life’s tumbles, our mom was always there with a hug and cuddle and some amazing words…and all that pain would go away….vanish in a puff of…well, yeah, magic.
We were shown this magic in so many different ways as we grew up, even to the point that we do it for our own children, but alas, as they got older, and especially the male of the species, it became less and less. You know, I’m tough, I don’t need that sissy stuff…meanwhile quailing inside from the pain that life brings.
In a new relationship you see the young’uns wrapped around each other so much you don’t know where one starts and the other ends. They FEEL everything at that stage from the flutter of an eyelid to the meaning in a glance. They are so tuned into each other with their energy blending with the power of love. Remember that glow…that feeling that you can climb mountains and heal the world. Well, you can. Just by the simple affect of a hug.
No, not just throw your arms around someone for 1.3 seconds, pat them on the back and say ‘off you go!’. This isn’t a marathon to see how many you can give. This is an act in itself, an expression of who YOU are within. By opening your arms you are saying to someone…I’m trusting you, opening my heart to you, and I am giving myself unconditionally to you. Your body language with the expression you give with it….ie. a smile or loving glance speaks volumes. If it is done with a snarl, trust me, it would be the equivalent to being hugged by a tarantula. Actually, I think I’d rather the tarantula. (My apologies to the spider lovers, after all, they are also God’s creatures too 🙂 ).
So the next time you are with someone and you feel a hug is in order, GIVE them a hug, step outside your boundaries and say to them in your hug….I care, I’m prepared to be open with you, and I’m giving my love to you, unconditionally. And sometimes that is just exactly what they need to help them go through something…a grazed knee, a hard day or even just because. The healing in that one small act is immeasurable, but we avoid it thinking we are overstepping a boundary (usually our own), and it is usually exactly what is needed. If in a circumstance you thought about it, do it.
Sometimes others may react to it by shoving you away and that is usually because of how they have been brought up or even bad experiences in their lives. The best way to signal your intentions is to just open your arms toward them with a smile. They will respond accordingly. But don’t judge their acceptance or rebuttal by reacting in any way. Just be the love that you are within. You have given from that love and the best of who you are. THAT is the important part, that you are giving freely, without any expectations, from who you are within. They will see and feel that, and that is THEIR important part. To see and feel that there IS love in the world, even though they may not be able to reach out for it at that time.
The hug is the jewel of who we are within. It shines out, interacts and heals more than any other act. Your intentions, integrity and care are all wrapped up in those few moments when you embrace. Whether its a baby, a child or a lover it has great meaning. Stand in that truth, break through your walls and be in a space that says it all. And especially with someone you love very much and you feel you have been bogged down by your work or troubles, just stop for a moment, and instead of the usual 1.3 second hug as you walk through the door, put everything down so that you are free, open your arms and be fully present and giving to that beautiful person in front of you and hold it for however long it takes to say ‘I love you, and nothing else matters’.
And everything will change, right at that moment because it has meaning, and care, and love, and all those things that really do matter in this life that we live.
Even Dr’s and scientists are now discovering the beauty and healing in a hug. The following article shows just how powerful it is.
Fun Facts About Hugging (Article link)
By Dr. Mercola
Neuroeconomist Paul Zak, also known as “Dr. Love,” recommends at least eight hugs a day to be happier and enjoy better relationships. Psychotherapist Virginia Satir also famously said:
“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”
This may very well be the “hug threshold” that allows your body to produce ample amounts of oxytocin, which is released in response to physical touch. The neuropeptide oxytocin, released by your pituitary gland, is a naturally occurring hormone in your body with incredibly powerful, health-giving properties.
It is also a key reason why the simple act of hugging is such an incredible way to not only bond with others but also boost your physical, and emotional, health.
How Hugging Makes You Healthier.
Hugging increases levels of the “love hormone” oxytocin. This, in turn, may have beneficial effects on your heart health and more. One study found, for instance, that women had lower blood pressure following a brief episode of warm contact with their partner.
A 20-second hug, along with 10 minutes of hand-holding, also reduces the harmful physical effects of stress, including its impact on your blood pressure and heart rate. This makes sense, since hugging is known to lower levels of stress hormones like cortisol. But research suggests there’s even more to it than that. As reported by Mail Online:
“The skin contains a network of tiny, egg-shaped pressure centers called Pacinian corpuscles that can sense touch and which are in contact with the brain through the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve winds its way through the body and is connected to a number of organs, including the heart.
It is also connected to oxytocin receptors. One theory is that stimulation of the vagus triggers an increase in oxytocin, which in turn leads to the cascade of health benefits.”
A 10-second hug a day can lead to biochemical and physiological reactions in your body that can significantly improve your health. According to one study, this includes:
Lower risk of heart disease
Boost your immune system
Does Cuddle Therapy Work?
There’s no doubt that hugging, caressing, and cuddling feel good. As neurologist Shekar Raman, MD, said in the Huffington Post:
“A hug, pat on the back, and even a friendly handshake are processed by the reward center in the central nervous system, which is why they can have a powerful impact on the human psyche, making us feel happiness and joy… And it doesn’t matter if you’re the toucher or touchee. The more you connect with others — on even the smallest physical level — the happier you’ll be.”
Yet, many people are touch-deprived. One study found that one-third of people receive no hugs on a daily basis while 75 percent said they wanted more hugs. Findings such as these, coupled with the emotional and health benefits of human touch, have led to the emergence of cuddle therapy centers, where people can pay for a lunchtime cuddle.
However, the verdict is still out on whether or not cuddles from strangers have the same impact as those from someone you know and trust. While cuddling with a spouse or partner has been shown to boost satisfaction in relationships, at least one study showed that hugs are only beneficial if trust is involved.
The lead researcher actually cautioned against worldwide “free hugs” campaigns (where strangers offer hugs to others), saying that this may be perceived as threatening and actually increase emotional burden and stress. However, proven benefits have been found from cuddling with a pet, which shows hugs don’t have to only be between humans to be beneficial. Even cuddling with your trusted pet may offer significant benefits to your heart and overall health.
More Fun Facts About Hugging.
Did you know that, on average, people spend on hour a month hugging? That doesn’t sound like much, but when you consider that the average hug is under 10 seconds long… that’s a lot of hugs!
Happiness Weekly compiled even more fun facts about hugging that highlight just how incredible this act of touch really is. For instance, a full-body hug stimulates your nervous system while decreasing feelings of loneliness, combating fear, increasing self-esteem, defusing tension, and showing appreciation.
And if you had any doubt about the importance of touch, consider that children who aren’t hugged have delays in walking, talking, and reading. A quick hug has a near-immediate impact on health, lowering your heart rate and inducing a calming effect while also leading to a more upbeat mood!
Interestingly, hugging has just as much a benefit for the person doing the hugging as the person being hugged, revealing the reciprocal nature of touch. Touch is even described as a universal language that can communicate distinct emotions with startling accuracy. One study found that touch alone can reveal emotions including anger, fear, disgust, love, gratitude, and sympathy, with accuracy rates of up to 83 percent.
Even More Reasons to Give (or Get) a Hug Today.
Hugs are one of the most succinct ways to encourage your body to release oxytocin, and the more oxytocin your pituitary gland releases, the better able you are to handle life’s stressors.
Oxytocin decreases the level of stress hormones (primarily cortisol) your body manufactures and lowers your blood pressure response to anxiety-producing events. Oxytocin quite likely plays a role in why pet owners heal more quickly from illness, why couples live longer than singles, and why support groups work for people with addictions and chronic diseases.
Oxytocin has also been found to reduce the cravings of drug and alcohol addiction, as well as for sweets. It even has a positive influence on inflammation and wound healing. Even beyond this, regular hugs have the added benefit of:
Cultivating patience and showing appreciation
Activating the Solar Plexus Chakra, which stimulates your thymus gland (this may help balance your production of white blood cells)
Stimulating dopamine, the pleasure hormone, and serotonin, for elevated mood
Balancing out your nervous system for better parasympathetic balance
Do You Need a Good Hug?
Often making a concerted effort to hug the people close to you is one of the best ways to get more hugs in return. This can include your spouse, children, and other family members along with close friends. But even if you’re not currently in a life situation conducive to getting daily hugs and producing enough of your own oxytocin on a regular basis, the good news is there are some alternatives you can use to help you deal in a healthy way with your emotional response to stress and anxiety.
With the already known and still-to-emerge health and quality of life benefits to be derived from the natural release of oxytocin in your body, your best course of action is to make sure you’re cultivating warm, loving, intimate relationships, no matter what stage of life you’re in. Additionally, if you have a pet, just a few minutes petting your dog or cat can promote the release of your body’s “happiness” hormones, including oxytocin. Since touch anywhere on your body, as well as positive interactions and psychological support, are known to increase oxytocin levels, you might also consider:
Holding hands and kissing
Giving and receiving a backrub
Getting a massage
Practicing mind-body therapies like breathing exercises and yoga
Well, all I can see is the positives about it, so what are you waiting for….hugs!…and lots of them!
And be happier, healthier and enjoy the connection. Namaste
The Bardess of Glascow has teased me again to adventure into my artistic side and play with my mind and produce some poetry using a set number of words. I thank you momus for bringing me back into the illusionary world ocassionally, and hopefully enliven it a little. I know spirit hasn’t really got the day off but just for once, I’m wagging school 😀
The Hydrogen Process of Life (Well I had to use the word somehow, a title will do)
The key to open that stone, built to cover a weeping heart
Spare fears for casual traffic, revolving for its part
Around the block, giving a souvenir to one and all
Chapped with pain and tears, that journey before a fall
And when that fever breaks, from that wall built within
A beggar no longer, only memories where you’ve been
Anyone keen to try their mind, go to a wordle as outlined here. http://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2014/12/08/wordle-38-december-8-2014/
Use at least ten of the twelve words selected to create a poem or story.
Life is a constant struggle. Always trying to satisfy something that is walled behind many fears, and covered over with…well everything. That need within, wanting to be fulfilled so we look everywhere but refusing to look beneath it all, so filled with anything to cover its voice and keep us busy.
And in reality an important part of the journey, until we realise what really has meaning in our lives, and only then realised when we go through a very bad time or event so that we do look within, to finally find the thing that we were afraid to look at, understand it, and finally realise what had been holding us back. Living from a false place by avoiding those fears…and release those bindings of chains so that we are free.
Totally, fully free to now begin something that has meaning and worth, a realisation that we had in fact been false to ourselves, not coming from a place of love because we were afraid to find and look within for that truth.
The relief and understanding when found is incredible. Grown men and woman bursting into tears when they finally dare look within to that fear…and touch it. The understanding is a floodgate of relief and released with the dropping of those walls that had been holding back those tears forever. The relief within them is instant and so profound, even though they usually are going through a very hard time and still are very tired and drained from the struggle, is like a calm after the storm.
The change is so dramatic that it can be observed by everyone. Even though, through habit, they still act in the old way but soon realise it no longer has meaning in their lives so it is dropped and forgotten.
At this point they can be very listless and unsure of what or where they want to go. Emotionally see-sawing trying to find some balance. And this is from removing that false foundation of fear. It has been the place they had come from in all things, all their lives, and now they have stepped into new territory so are not sure what they really want to do now.
And this is the good part, for now above all else, the need within is to be or do things from a place that has meaning, as that place before had none. A place where other people may become offended or unsure by their actions because they no longer wish to be that lie from before. Saying no to people where before they were eager to please. And this is because the fear (most fears), are usually built from a childhood fear of being rejected by a loved one (mother, father or whoever they were brought up by, of which THEY were brought up in the same way), and unintentionally they become eager to please or afraid to open their hearts through that fear of rejection. As a child they don’t even realise what is happening but develop a way to cope with what is happening around them and take that with them all through their lives. That is why, as an adult, it is such a shock to them when they finally touch that truth within and finally see it for the first time.
That fear has been the driver all their lives and without it, is like being a learner and getting into a car for the first time. Dials, pedals and switches everywhere and may feel very overwhelming, but gradually a familiarity is built and a confidence in who, what and where they now wish to be. But those first months are a bit wobbly as they test their emotions and the new person within as each and every moment is now tested from an unfamiliar place.
And gradually a new, confident and beautiful heart is rebuilt that has more meaning, more truth and also a new found awareness within. For this journey does open the one thing that has been hidden so that this journey can be completed and allow the discovery of that beauty within, and that is that awareness that has always been within us, travelled our roads, nudged us on occasions and always cheering us on. That beauty will now always be there, it’s warm glow within, the sudden bursts of laughter and smiles for no reason whatsoever as we become more aware of what our journey means. And just because it feels good to no longer be bound by those fears, and to really live…fully…openly…with a glow that is now, and always has been, a part of who you now are.
Laugh my friend, for when you find that truth, it will have all the meaning in the world, and you will know that what went before had much purpose, and done with such a great love so that you may find that love within. Namaste
And healing the heart from within! 🙂
Reblogged from apeerless
“The most beautiful people we have known
are those who have known defeat,
known suffering, known struggle, known loss,
and have found their way out of the depths.
These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity,
and an understanding of life that fills them
with compassion, gentleness,
and a deep loving concern.
Beautiful people do not just happen.”
~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross